


Fighting Spirit

by MattKomTrikru



Category: The 100 (TV), Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Angst, Crossover, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, US Women's Soccer National Team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-04-23 21:48:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 91,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14341596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MattKomTrikru/pseuds/MattKomTrikru
Summary: USWNT - The 100 Crossover-Weekly updates-Clarke Griffin has just moved from Australia to America to pursue her soccer dream. She joins UCB where she will be developing her soccer skills and making friendships, relationships and maybe even finding love.How will she settle in? What challenges might she be faced with? Can she become a national hero?Eventual POV switches to Alex/Tobin possibly - I love Talex to bits!





	1. Settling in

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so this is my first fic so please go easy! But seriously...constructive criticism would also be much appreciated"  
> I play on having longer chapters in the future, I just wanted to get one out there and possibly receive some feedback and set the scene for this story. I'm kinda winging it but with a vague plan so for now it'll be ok, but suggestions in later chapter would legit make my day haha  
> Also I'm from England, you have no idea how difficult it is to remember to write Soccer rather than Football! Which is the correct way btw ;)  
> Anyway...Please let me know what you think and I'll get the next chapter up hopefully by the end of the weekend :D

I never fully realised just how much of a commitment I was making until now. You can't quite understand how much something means to you until it's gone. That's me right now…I guess I have reason to be conflicted, I've just arrived at a completely new continent, leaving behind all my friends and family, to pursue my greatest love. Soccer. It hadn't been a difficult decision, once I had received an offer after the trials I knew that I was going to accept it. I would have been stupid not to. But it still means I'm having to sacrifice so much of what I love to be able to become the person I know I'm destined to be.

“Hey Clarke … Hey are you there? Hello?”

I was brought out of my thoughts by the voice of the soccer assistant coach, Cori Callaghan.

“Sorry I was just thinking about some stuff, what were you saying?”

I’m embarrassed about being caught out and it clearly shows.

“Hey it's ok to be nervous, but we are all here to help, we know what you're going through right now and we want you to be as comfortable as possible.”

She spoke in a calm, caring manner, which helped me relax a little more. I knew that I needed to make a good first impression on the coaching staff here at UCB.

“I was just letting you know that Neil will see you now. He's been looking forward to meeting Australia’s biggest rising talent! I'll see you later, I have a training session to run with the girls. Bye Clarke.”

I enter the office and am immediately greeted by the trademark navy blue and yellow colours of UCB, along with the shelves of trophies, showing off the success’ of such a prestigious sporting college.

“Clarke! How are you? Did you make it here ok?”

The booming voice of Neil takes my attention away from the room as I look back over to see him standing up to greet me.

“Very well thank you sir.” I reach out and shake his hand, his grip firm and reassuring.

“No need to be calling me Sir, it's Niel to you, and Mr McGuire if you're in trouble.” He winks at me, putting me at ease with the whole situation.

“Please take a seat, we have a lot to get through…”

 

***30 minutes later***

 

“Now that's almost everything, we just need to sort out your roommate, who I believe should now be waiting outside.”

Neil goes over and opens the door to reveal a girl around the same age as me. I can't help but notice how gorgeous she is, but I immediately push that thought to the back of my mind. Romance is the last thing I need to get in my way this year.

“Hi I'm Lexa, I've been told you're going to be rooming with me, since I have a bed free in my dorm.” A brief look of annoyance flashed across her face for a moment, perhaps she didn't want to give up having a room to herself I guess.

“Hey, I'm Clarke, nice to meet you.”

She went back to seeming completely uninterested, as if this is the last place she wanted to be right now. I caught her gaze and stared into the most captivating green eyes I've ever seen. She showed no sign of emotion, staring back at me as if challenging me to break the contact.

Thankfully Neil interrupts the moment, letting me know that I have the rest of this weekend off to get settled, before starting classes and training in Monday.

I follow Lexa as she takes me around the campus, robotically pointing out all the best places to eat and the places I'll be needing to go for classes, before heading over to the soccer pitches, where I see a group of girls playing a very competitive looking match.

“So this is the team. We have been pushed pretty hard this first week back, getting ready for the start of the season. We need 100% from all our players if we want to do better than last season, I hope you won't let us down.”

I felt a little annoyed at that comment, like hell can she think that I'm going to be slacking off and not trying to win every game. I knew it was going to be tough to get adjusted, but I know that I'm more than capable, it's the fitting in part that I'm worried about and this Lexa girl was not helping.

The whistle blows as Cory calls for me to come over. The team look relieved to be getting a breather, while a few of them have a confused expression, obviously wondering who I am.

“Ladies this is Clarke, for those who haven't been told she is our latest recruit from our new outreach over in Australia to boost the popularity of soccer. Please make her feel welcome and look out for her around the college, I'm sure she would appreciate that.”

I look around the group and I can see there are obviously some very close friends on the team, one pair in particular catch my eye. I recognize them but I'm not quite sure why. I'll have to find out later if I get the chance.

I look back over to Lexa and see her rolling her eyes and smirking at one of the girls on the team. A tough looking centre back by the looks of things, long brown hair and a very well built body, definitely a consistent gym goer. She notices me looking at her and I quickly turn away, embarrassed that she caught me staring.

“Ok ladies, let's call it a day for training, I can see you've all been working hard and you deserve the afternoon off. Don't forget recovery, we don't need any early injury setbacks before the season has even begun. I'll see you all on Monday, be ready for some heavy training, our season starts now and we need to be ready for it.”

That's our cue to leave and we all head back over to the main campus, Lexa leading me to our room which we have yet to go to.

On the way a couple of the girls say hi and then one of the girls, who I was sure I recognised, walks over to me…

“Hey I'm Alex. My boyfriend is hosting a party tonight to celebrate the new season and I was wondering if you would like to come?

“Hey uh I'm not too sure, I kinda just want to settle in and relax, I'm really tired, sorry”

“Come on! It's going to be great, there isn't a better way to start the year and we don't have training tomorrow so you can get a lie in.”

“I'll think about it, but that's not a yes right now”

I'm pretty sure it's a no but I don’t want to let her down, considering I need to make a good impression on the team.

“Awesome, well I'll see you later maybe? Bye!”  


We make it to the room and I see my bags are waiting outside. Lexa flops down on her bed, a satisfied noise escaping her lips at the feeling of lying down, while I carry my bags in and start unpacking.

“So you're a reds fan huh?” She asks, while watching me put up my Liverpool FC poster, the one I insisted on bringing, despite protests from my friends over my loyalty to my favourite club.

“Yeah, my dad supported them, I guess it runs in the family. Why, who you you support?”

“I don't …  I play for myself and my team, I don't care about any other teams.”

She clearly felt very strongly about the topic and I was about to change the conversation when she suddenly said she is going out to meet her friends and might or might not be back tonight.

Great, the one person who is supposed to be looking out for me is abandoning me, not that I should expect any different considering how she has presented herself to me since we were introduced.

I grab my laptop and search Netflix for something to watch, settling on the new season of The Flash. I don't intend to go to the party Alex mentioned, I just want to relax and get some rest in.

***2am***

I wake to the sound of a loud crash, immediately alert I turn my bedside light on to see a figure sprawled on the floor, swearing in pain as she sits up.

“Oh my God, Lexa? Are you ok?”

“I'm fine, go back to sleep.”

Her speech is slurred and I can tell she has clearly had a lot to drink tonight, the smell of alcohol reaching my senses and warning me that she isn't in control of herself.

“What happened?”

“I tripped over something on the floor because it's too dark to see. I never leave anything out so it must have been something of yours…”

“Seriously? Oh, well … I guess it’s my fault then?”

I'm getting more and more pissed off with her, everything that has happened today between us building up inside of me.

“Well yeah duh. Anyway, I told you to go back to sleep, I'm fine.”

“Please Lexa, I can check it if you want? My mother is a doctor, I know a thing or two”

“What part of I’m fine don't you understand?”

“The part that really means something else… Why do you hate me already? What have I done wrong to you?”

“It's nothing, we're cool.”

“We are definitely not cool… I don't understand.”

She stands up and winces as she puts weight on her left leg, quickly trying to mask the pain, but I see it and know she isn't as ok as she said.

“I'm taking a look at your ankle, lie down on your bed and I'll see what the problem is.”

“Clarke I don't ..”

“No lexa you don't have a choice"

“Fuck off" She mutters under her breath which I'm pretty certain was aimed at me but I let it slide since I know she is drunk. Not to say it doesn't cause me any pain inside. I just want to help her and find out what the problem is, as difficult as that apparently is.

After taking a look I let her know it nothing too bad, but she needs to ice it and try to sleep it off. She still seems pissed off.

“Please can you get me some ice? I can't really walk right now, can I?”

She almost struggles to get the question out, such a blow to her pride to have to ask someone to do something for her.

“Sure, I'll be right back.”

I find her propped up in her bed scrolling through her social media on her phone, engrossed in an article which I see is about the women's national team beating Germany 4-0, with two goals coming for my hero Abby Wambach.

“Good result wasn't it!”

“Mmh” she was too busy reading to fully notice me.

“Here I have the ice for your ankle”

I hand her the ice and she places it, making sure it's in the right place.

After the 20 minutes is up I take the ice back and then get back into bed, relishing the comfort of lying down.

“Clarke…”

“Yes Lexa?”

“Thanks for helping”

She sounded serious, which took me fully by surprise, I didn't expect a thank you, let alone one so sincere.

“Honestly, it's cool. Anytime…”

“Goodnight Clarke"

“Night Lexa”

I lie in bed unable to sleep, thoughts swimming around in my mind. Today was a little weird to say the least. Not what I expected from my first day at all. I can't get Lexa out of my mind, she seems so mysterious and I can't help but want to know more about her.

Eventually I fall asleep, succumbing to the tiredness of my body.

 

********

 

The next day passes relatively quickly, Lexa was back to her usual brooding self, completely ignoring the small moment of normalness she showed last night. I was so excited for starting tomorrow that I went around campus with a huge smile on my face, greeting various people, chatting to some of the other girls on the soccer team.

“Hey Lexa, do you and Clarke want to play a pick-up game with us?”

I heard a girl shouting from across the field and look up to see the two girls I thought I recognised from yesterday. Alex and her friend, whose name I haven't managed to catch yet.

“Yeah why not, you want your asses handing to you again?”

I can’t help but laugh at Lexa’s sly remark, she clearly is a lot more confident that I am, I don’t even have a clue how good those three are. But I’m a competitor so they best be ready for us.

“How about we mix you two up for once, Clarke and Tobin can go together and I’ll go with Alex ... Fair?”

“You just want to try to prove you can stop me from being the nutmeg queen Lexa” Tobin replies, smirking at Lexa, knowing its true. No one on the team can get away from the clutches of the nutmeg queen, as Lexa clearly needs reminding yet again.

“Hey Clarke, I’m Tobin, it's great to finally meet you! Coach wouldn’t stop talking about our new talented Aussie all morning, I feel like I already know everything about you!” She breaks out a killer smile which seriously must be addictive because I know I’ll be doing everything I can to bring it out again...

“Hi, you too! Seriously, no pressure then! Hahaha. So how are we going to win this?”

“Easy, pass the ball to me” She winks, causing me to laugh along with her

“Sure thing captain Tobin, any other bright ideas?”

“In other words I’ll dribble the ball, you just put the ball in the net each time and we win. We got this, don’t worry.”

They sooo didn’t have this…

From the get go Lexa was just too good, she was everywhere, her Tobin didn’t have a second on the ball without it being stolen by Lexa and then scored by Alex. To put it lightly: her and Tobin were getting humiliated 6-0…

“Hey we’re calling halftime” Tobin calls out, stopping play so we can take a breather and pause the embarrassment.

“What’s going on Clarke? You are supposed to be the best new talent and I don’t think you’ve even had a shot on target!”

“Sorry I’m just exhausted, I didn’t get much sleep last night thanks to Lexa…”

“Oh really? What did she do??”

“Um she woke me up at 2am by stepping on a football and falling over, she even had the cheek to blame me for it just because I left the ball out!”

“Oh wow! That's quality! Hey Lexa….”

“No Tobin please…”

“What's this about you tripping over a ball last night?” Tobin is almost crying from laughing and I can’t help but join in at the sight of shock on Lexa’s face, followed by the reddening of her ears as the embarrassment overwhelmed her.

“Clarke seriously???” Uh oh, she isn’t happy...

“Dammit Tobin! You couldn’t keep it to yourself??”

“Hey! It’s been a while since Lexa did anything worthy of being laughed at … Let me enjoy this moment while it lasts!”

“Urgh I can’t believe you told her! You’re gonna pay for that Clarke, mark my words…”

“I’ll make sure to watch out” I cheekily reply, smirking at her and causing Tobin to wrap her arms around my shoulders. I notice Alex suddenly look away for some reason.

“Nope Lexa, not happening. This girl is under my protection now, you ok with that Clarke?”

“Absolutely, now let's get back to playing and make the comeback of dreams!”

As soon as they kickoff the tempo is sky high, both teams trying their hardest to get the next goal. Then it happens… Tobin has the ball at her feet with Lexa closing in fast from behind, she suddenly twists 180 and flicks the ball backwards with the outside of her right foot as she turns, knocking it right in between Lexa’s legs as she approaches, twisting out of the way, Tobin gets the ball back under control and looks up to see Clarke making a run through the middle, Alex is struggling to keep pace and Tobin plays the ball beautifully into Clarke’s path for her to slot it into the net.

6-1

It’s on!

5 goals later following some perfect soccer from Clarke and Tobin the score is now tied 6-6 and its all to play for.

“Next goal wins” Alex shouts out, clearly running out of breath and struggling to keep up with the sudden pace boost of Clarke.

The tempo increases once more, both teams striving for the winning goal but not letting any slip ups decide the outcome of the game. Passes are being completed but neither team can get the breakthrough goal. Until Tobin reads Lexa’s mind, seeing her about to slide the ball down the wing to Alex. Tobin reaches out at full stretch, just managing to intercept the ball with the toe of her shoe. The ball swerves and spins, somehow finding its way across to Clarke who had stopped tracking Alex once she saw Tobin lunging across. She is now in space and just about reaches the ball, poking it into the goal to finish off and complete the perfect comeback.

“Yes!!!” Tobin shouts, throwing her arms in the air and running towards Clarke, engulfing her in a super tight hug. Alex congratulates the pair and lets Lexa know that it was only a pickup game, not a real match. But Lexa isn’t having any of it, so instead she goes over to Clarke and Tobin and asks if they want to hang out for the rest of the afternoon with some of the other teammates. Both say yes and so they head off to Alex’s apartment.

Meanwhile Lexa kicks the ground, frustrated that it was her mistake that cost the game. She was surprised by Clarke in the second half of play, she could see now why UCB had snatched her up and relocated her all the way out here. This worried Lexa, she wanted to keep her position in the team, last year she was the new exciting prospect, she didn’t want to lose that title to Clarke…

“You coming Lexa?” Clarke asks, worried that she seems really pissed off at just a fun game, but obviously any game of soccer isn’t just a game. Anyone who plays the sport knows that, but Lexa’s reaction suggests there is more to it, Clarke drops the thought as Lexa agrees to join them.

They all hung out for the rest of the day, playing mario kart and chilling at Alex’s boyfriends apartment. Tobin of course wins each time, seriously is there anything this girl isn’t good at Clarke wonders. She is extremely hot too, she wonders if Tobin is single, but she knows that its a stupid idea before she even considers it.

Eventually after Tobin kicks their asses game after game it's late and they decide to all head off to bed early. Training and classes officially start tomorrow and they all know how much of a shock to the system it will be, especially for Clarke who has missed the first week of fitness building. Clarke and Lexa say their goodbyes before heading off back to their dorm, walking in silence, not a particularly awkward silence, but equally not a comfortable one.

After getting ready for bed they say their goodnights and allow sleep to take over, bringing them closer to the start of an action packed year of college … Alex meanwhile is struggling to get to sleep. She can’t get the thoughts out of her head about a certain midfielder with golden brown hair. But she loves Servando, at least that is what she tells herself. She shouldn’t even be thinking these thoughts. She should be lucky that she has someone who she can be with and create memories with. But ever since Tobin had walked onto that pitch Alex had known that she was screwed. But she can’t allow herself to feel these emotions. She needs to focus on what she has, and that is Servando, he doesn’t deserve to have a girlfriend who is thinking about others, it isn’t right. Eventually she manages to get to sleep and stop the internal conflict going on in her mind.

It’s going to be an interesting year...


	2. An interesting first day...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke's first day in training.  
> What could possibly go wrong...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took me a week of frustration at not finding enough time to nail this chapter down. I wanted it to be longer but I'm happy with how it has turned out. Hopefully you all do :D  
> Also I had 15% of my A-Level music exam this morning so yeah...that happened...  
> Also, my friend without telling me beforehand, is posting me signed photos from Polaris CON, with messages from ELIZA TAYLOR AND MY NO1 FAV RHIANNON FISH OMGGGGGG. She just randomly sent me photos of them and was like btw while I was in Spain I got you these as a thank you for helping with her fanfic - Frozen (CLexa AU) - Huge shutout to her and her fic! I legit am in so much shock!!! Anyway, please enjoy the chapter!

***Beep beep  beep beep***

Clarke woke, groaning at the inhumaine time on the clock, she really wasn’t a morning person, not in the slightest. She turned off the alarm and rolled out of bed, knowing otherwise she would never get up on time and would just carry on sleeping for the rest of the morning. 

She looks over to see that Lexa’s bed is already empty, proving the fact that she is probably a robot, or at least not human! 

The sound of the bathroom door brings her back to reality and she looks up to see Lexa walking out in just a bathrobe, her wet hair hanging over her shoulder and her skin glistening with water. She is a thing of pure beauty, it isn't even fair! She could see the toned muscles of her arms and shoulders, so well defined and so perfect. Hell...this girl is going to be a serious problem!

“If you want to stare at least have the decency to say good morning first” Lexa remarks, smirking when Clarke turns a deep shade of red, turning away, so embarrassed to have been caught so easily. 

“Oh sorry...I...um...Good morning Lexa, I’ll just um go for a shower now” Clarke stumbles out the words, the awkwardness clearly evident in her voice.

“Breakfast is in 20 minutes, you should probably get ready quickly if you want to be on time, I’ll wait here for you, and unlike you I won’t stare when you get back.”

***25 minutes later***

“Clarke!! Please can we go now! What's taking so long??” Lexa was clearly getting frustrated at her.

“Sorry Lexa, but I at least want to look mildly presentable” 

“Seriously don't worry, you look good all the time” she catches her words and realises she just said that out loud. “I mean erm you look fine, you don't need to worry.” 

“I'll take that as a compliment I guess.” I wink at her, grinning at the discomfort she shows on her face.

“Anyway we are already LATE, we are going NOW!” 

I can't help but notice the neck vein that pops out when she raises her voice, damn that was hot. Shit I shouldn't be thinking that, but I can't help it! 

We make it down to the cafeteria and the smell of pancakes catches my attention, the sweet smell bringing back the memories of my dad in the morning. He made the best pancakes ever witnessed in all creation, I would like to say I continue his legacy, but honestly, I really suck at cooking. For some reason it always seems to end with fire related incidents.

“Hey there is a table with space over there, I'll sit with you since I guess it's my duty to make sure you're not completely lonely” 

After getting food I join Lexa at the table, greeting the other people from our dorm area. 

“Hey I'm Raven! Pleased to meet you!” I’m sat next to a rather excitable Latina girl, who seems to be in her first year too. 

“Clarke” 

“Are you on the soccer team too?

“Yup” 

“Oh that's awesome! I wish I could be playing soccer, so jealous!” 

“Oh, well how come you're not?” 

“I had an accident a couple of years ago which means I can no longer run, no more sports, no more soccer unfortunately. Instead I'm just going to be an astronaut!” She winks, half joking. 

“Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that! Well I'm sure that dream will come true for you one day, you seem like the kind of girl who won't give up until it's done” I smile reassuringly at her, brightening up her face, which had dropped slightly following the revelation about her leg. 

“You bet I will! Hell I'm going to be NASA's youngest ever employee, they won't even know what's hit them!” I'm beginning to think Raven is the best friend I've been looking for all my life…

“Well...while you are flying around in your rockets Raven, I'll be teaching Clarke a thing or two on the soccer field” Lexa enters the conversation, smirking at me and starting a fierce debate over who the better soccer player is. 

“Well I think you're both wrong!” One of the other girls on our table jumps in, breaking apart our heated debate. 

“Huh?” I turn to her, not knowing who she is, Lexa on the other hand recognises her, obviously she must already know her.

“Oh hey O! I didn't notice you there! Clarke this is Octavia, another of this year's newbies on the team, a pretty good one at that!” 

“You're damn right I am! You best watch out Clarke, you will have some serious competition for best newcomer.” She seems confident and that worries me a bit. Especially if Lexa even managed to stretch her emotional capacity in order to complimented her! 

“Hi Octavia! Nice to meet you, but hey don't expect me to go easy on you out on the field, I have a reputation to uphold apparently” 

“A reputation for not being the best first year” Octavia cheekily comments, fuelling the debate.

“What position do you play then?”

“I’m a centre back, toughest player on the team”... She receives an immediate glare from Lexa. “well...after Lexa of course.” Lexa snorts, knowing full well that on the pitch no one dares to challenge her, she rules the field and they all know it. 

“You might be tough, but do you have the skill to go with it” I remark, enjoying the competitiveness of the conversation

“Are you all done yet?” Raven butts in, managing to catch our attention. “Like you guys need to chill. Do your talking on the pitch, hey?” 

“I'll do it if you're the one cheering for me in the crowd" Octavia jokes, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at Raven. 

“That was soooo lame” I couldn't help but laugh at what Octavia had just said, I wonder if she genuinely meant it, surely not!

********

After breakfast Lexa and I head back to our room to gather our kit before heading over to the field for the start of a long, painful but also interesting day, at least for Clarke. 

“Clarke! My favourite newbie!” Tobin shouts as we arrive at the field, embracing me in a warm hug as Lexa goes over to who I assume are her friends on the team. 

“Hey Tobin, ready to learn how to play soccer?” I cheekily reply, knowing full well that it will definitely be the other way around. 

“Yeah right princess” she fires back at me, causing me to groan, I hated that nickname yet it always seemed to come up everywhere I went.

“How did you…?”

“What?” she replies innocently, producing a wide grin which causes me to laugh along with her. 

Cori arrives and gathers us in to brief us about the training session today, I really wanted it to be an easy break in, but I knew I had no chance. Baptism by fire it is then...

“Ok girls lets get started with some laps of the field and some stretches, then we will divide up into partners to do some ball working drills. We had a good start to the year last week, so let's keep up the pace ready for our first game next weekend. Ready?” 

After the warm up we get paired up and I end up with Octavia, while Tobin and Alex are paired up and Lexa is paired up with her friend whom I still am yet to meet. 

We start with some simple passing drills which allowed me to somewhat gauge her ability, which clearly was a good standard, we seem to be very evenly matched and this makes is all the more exciting to see what she will have to offer on the pitch. Her range of passing for a centre back is superb. She can easily pull off the full range, from simple one touch passes to cross field aerial balls, such versatility really makes exceptional defenders stand out from good defenders. I’m looking forward to connecting to her on the field, starting attacks together from defence to midfield. 

******

We do a number of drills before Cori tells us it's time for a match between us all. It's time for my first game with this group of players. 

Alex and Tobin are both on my team. Apparently those two have an unreal connection on the pitch, something that comes so natural but shows just how good they are.

I'm a little worried that I'm against lexa, I already experienced what she can do with the ball before during that pick-up game. Now in a real game I'm both excited and nervous. 

I want to make an impact, if I want to make the starting 11, and also because this is the first time playing alongside this group.   
  


The game kicks off and we are immediately on the back foot. The other team are playing a fast passing, pressing style of football. Pushing us back into our half of the pitch. After some patient build up play between their defence and midfield Octavia looks up and sends a beautiful ball out wide to Lexa, who expertly brings it down on the inside of her boot, before sprinting off down the right wing. None of our players can catch her as she dribbles past our back line and slides the ball along the ground with pace across and into the box. Arriving at the perfect moment is their forward, who makes a simple finish of the cross to start the scoring at 1-0. 

“Come on girls, heads up! Plenty left to play for!” Tobin shouts out, motivating and energising us to come back fighting. 

The game opens up a lot more following that goal. We're pressing into them now, while they are looking to hit us on the counter attack. It's a dangerous game and they come close to breaking through a couple of times. 

That is all forgotten when Tobin slides the ball between two defenders and into the path of Alex to run onto. She picks up the ball and runs into the box, the goalkeeper rushing out to claim it. 

But the keeper is too late off her line….Alex just about gets a toe to the ball and pokes it under the arriving goalkeeper to slot it into the net. 

1-1

Alex immediately points and runs over to Tobin and hugs her before we all go back to our starting positions in a much better shape. 

After a long period of chances but no goals Cori calls us in for a water break as it's such a hot day today. 

“Hey Clarke, how are you finding it so far?” Cori asks me.

“I’m really enjoying it! I know I'm a little off the pace today but I promise I can improve a lot.” 

“No worries, just keep giving it your all, that's all I ask… Also if you want a little bit of advice, you have more time on the ball than you are using. Their strength is on the wings, every time they lose the ball there is a big gap in the centre because they lack a defensive minded midfielder. If you carry the ball towards their defence and use the runs of Alex in behind, you might find more luck.” 

“Oh right, I'll see what I can do. Thanks! I'm a little frustrated I didn't spot that but I'm glad Cori pointed it out. She winks at me and tells us it's time to play another half. 

This half starts with the same intensity as the last. Opportunities both ways but the strikers getting unlucky with their shooting. 

After around 20 minutes of deadlock the ball is played to me at the halfway line and I notice their players backing off. I drive forward with the ball, confident in my ability to beat their players one on one. I look up to see Tobin making a run down the left, slotting the ball into her path. She beats their player with a cheeky nutmeg and sends the ball into the box for Alex. Unfortunately Alex is beaten in the air by Octavia, the ball looping in the air and dropping in front of me, just outside the box.

I only have one thought on my mind. Shoot. 

I bring back my right leg and kick the ball, connecting perfectly. I kick it with the laces of my boot and it swerves slightly to the right heading for the top corner. 

That's the last thing I see before I feel a sharp pain in my standing leg and feel my ankle give way. Throwing me to the group as a player from their team slams into me just after I take the shot.

Cori has stopped play and Tobin's face appears above mine, saying words which don't quite register at first. 

“Clarke...Clarke are you ok???” 

“Huh?” Is all I can manage, I'm not in too much pain, just shock. 

“Your leg? Are you in pain, do you need it checking.” 

“Oh erm I don't know” 

I sit up and look around to see the other players all watching over towards me. Lexa is in a heated discussion with her defender, who appears to be rather angry at her. 

“What happened" I ask Tobin, still unaware of the last 10 seconds. 

“Just after you kicked the ball Anya lunged into you, completely mistiming her block and instead diving into you” 

“Oh right, well it doesn't feel too bad I don't think…” 

Tobin helps me up and Alex walks over, also asking if I'm ok. 

“Hey, Clarke! I'm so sorry. I was going for the ball. These things happen, you'll be fine” The player who Lexa had just been talking to had come over to us. 

“Are you kidding" Tobin retorts. “That was completely unnecessary. It's just a practice game” 

“So what? I don't care what game it is. If the ball is there then I'm going for it, you need to learn to….”

“Alright ladies that's enough" Cori interrupts the argument that was probably just about to boil over. “Clarke are you ok? Do you need that checking?” 

“I'll be ok I think, I'll ice it afterwards just in case” 

“Anya, I want you in my office afterwards, this was completely unnecessary. It's one thing that it's just a practice game, but another that it's Clarke's first training and this is how you welcome her!” 

“But she's fine, who cares.” 

“Me, and that's enough. Great finish by the way Clarke, you couldn't have hit that any better!”

“It went in???” 

“Hell yes! Top bins!” Tobin shouts next to me, slapping my back, earning a laugh from a few of us. “A proper forwards finish, especially for a middie, wouldn't you agree Alex?” 

“Uh yeah, it was great!” 

“Right that's it for today I think ladies. You played some good football but we need to keep improving, go grab some ice and recover well.” 

Cori dismissed us and Tobin throws her arm around my shoulder, still congratulating me on the goal. 

Alex walks off on her own while lexa still seems to be arguing with Anya, whom I can't help but not be very fond of after this incident. 

********

After recovery I hang out with Alex and Tobin, even managing to drag Octavia along with me, for the rest of the afternoon. Alex suggests we go into town for ice-cream, claiming to know the place for the ‘best ice cream in Cali’. It gives me a good chance to get to know them more. 

I go for strawberry and mango, a favourite of mine when it comes to ice cream. As we are sitting down I feel a sudden weight on my back as someone jumps on top of me. 

“ Clarke!! Hey girl!” Raven shouts in my ear, making the others laugh and causing a few random heads to momentarily turn towards our group.

“What the hell Raven! I seriously can't deal with people scaring me like that!” 

“Sorry not sorry!” She laughs and drops down into the chair next to Octavia.

“What are you even doing here anyway? You've known us less than a day and are already stalking us?”

“Oh I just placed a tracker on your phone, no Biggie.” She shrugs her shoulders, looking seriously at us all. 

“You did what now?? Tobin joins in…

“I'm only joking! Omg you guys! Chill!” Raven exclaims, laughing at our priceless reactions. “I actually started working here between my classes, I just finished my shift and spotted my new homies Clarke and Octavia and decided to surprise you all!” 

“Well you certainly do the surprise part of that very well” Alex comments. 

I only just notice how raspy her voice sounds, is it normally like that? I mean it's seriously sexy...I mean interesting...but also sexy...whatever...

“Hey Clarke, what's it like over in Australia then?” Tobin asks, thankfully taking the attention away from my thoughts going on in that crazy head of mine.

“Well it's home. It's very different to here and I have so many memories there that I didn't want to leave behind. But I miss the barbecues and beach parties the most!” Everyone laughs at that and I can't help but realise that now I need to make new memories here and hold on to these friendships here. 

“Well during the off season we can totally go stay at my families beach home if you miss it that much?” Tobin asks, completely taking me by surprise that I barely even comprehend what she said.

“Wait what?” 

“My parents own a beach home, I don’t really stick around in places enough to call them home but I can ask if we can borrow it for a week?”

“Omg yes yes yes” Raven shouts. “I’m sooo down for beach parties and dancing all night with random strangers” 

“That would be a sight” Octavia comments slyly, earning a glare from Raven.

“Bitch puh-lease you haven’t even seen dancing until you have seen the mighty Raven move her hips!” Raven replies, defending her very much inflated ego by the looks of things.

“I guess that's a yes then?” Tobin asks, as if questioning whether we want, or more importantly, need to see Raven dancing…

“Hell yes!” Raven shouts excitedly, high fiving Tobin and proceeds to not stop acting like a giddy child until it's time for us to leave and head off back to our dorms. 

As I’m walking back Tobin comes up to me, acting a little nervously.

“Hey um Clarke, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to get lunch together at the weekend, after the match maybe? I erm, I know a good burger place in town. That's if you want to. Which you don’t have to do of course. But it you want to…”

Is that a date? I don’t even know?? But I can't really say no. Making friends on the team is perfect for me getting settled in, not that I don’t already have awesome friends after only a few days. But Tobin interests me...alongside that heart warming smile of hers.

“Clarke?”

“Oh right sorry, yeah sure, that would be nice.” I smile at her reassuringly, seeing her face suddenly lift from nervous worry to that beautiful smile of hers. 

“Awesome, I’ll be looking forward to it” She’s so cute when she’s happy! I can’t wait to get to know her either!

“Tobin?!?!” Alex shouts from across the road.

“Oh sorry Alex, I’m on my way! See you tomorrow Clarke, bye!”

“Bye Tobs” She smiles at the nickname, winking as she hurries back to Alex as they head off to their dorm on the other side of campus. 

Alex glares at me for a moment while Tobin has her back turned. She clearly isn’t happy about something, I really need to find out what it is because she usually is fine around me, I know it’ll play on my mind unless I do something about it. 

********

I arrive back at mine and Lexa’s room, entering and freezing as I see that Anya is there with her. Well this is awkward…

“Uh hi guys” I timidly greet them, worried that Anya will be pissed off at me still. But that appears to be nothing compared to the death glare that Lexa gives me. Seriously that woman can make any soul quiver in fear with the stare she can give. I mean what did I even do to her??

“Clarke, I was hoping you wouldn’t be back soon.” Lexa replies harshly, sending off a warning to me that it probably isn’t the best idea to be here right now.

“Oh right...ok...I guess I’ll come back later. Not that this isn’t my room too, but whatever, it's fine. This looks important.” I turn around and am halfway through leaving when Anya calls out.

“We aren’t done Clarke.”

I close the door and head outside. I can’t deal with this right now. Today has been such a mixture of good and bad, but realising the new friendships I now have, especially Tobin, I don’t want anything to ruin my mood right now.

I decide to call Raven, she will know how to have a fun evening away from all of this.

“Clarkey boo miss me already??”

“Please...don’t flatter yourself”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Do you mind hanging out this evening? Lexa just pretty much kicked me out of my own room so I’m kinda a bit of a loner right now.”

“Oh really? How come?”

“It seems I have somehow pissed off her and her best friend because her friend made an awful tackle on me this morning and so apparently it's my fault or something. I really don’t know. “

“Oh right, do you want my advice?”

“Sure, if I can trust you” I joke, causing Raven to laugh loudly into her phone. 

“I think you should sort this out now. You’re teammates, you can’t let this affect you both, more importantly because the season hasn’t even started and you clearly got off on the wrong foot, literally speaking” she laughs at her own joke. I’m not amused, but its Raven and I’m coming to learn her rather interesting sense of humour so I let it slide without inflating her ego any bigger. 

“You really think that’s a good idea? You should have seen how Lexa looked at me! I haven’t seen someone so scary in my whole life!”

“Seriously! Grow a pair Clarke! I bet she is a cuddly teddy bear on the inside, you just have to break down those walls to get to her.”

“If you really say so...I don't believe you but fine. I’ll go talk to them if you say so.”

“You don’t have to, but you asked my advice and that is what I would do”   


“I’ll do it"

“That's my girl! I’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow...If you’re not there I’ll send a search party to your room to see if you’ve been brutally murdered by an angry Lexa”

“Whatever…” I sigh, can this girl even take anything seriously?? I guess not…

“Goodbye forever Clarke”

“Screw you, bye Raven”   


“Right back at ya”

She hangs up, leaving me in a state of total conflict. Should I? Shouldn’t I? Screw it, I probably should sort it out before it gets worse.

I walk back upstairs and open the door. 

“Clarke?? Back again??”

“Hey Lexa, Anya.” I’m seriously scared of them right now, but I need to do this. 

“What part of come back later didn’t you understand” Lexa questions, still clearly not happy with anything.

“I just wanted to know what I’ve done to upset you both, I don’t understand it. I’m sorry for anything that has been misinterpreted because I swear I have nothing but respect for you two.”

“Well you can start by apologising to Anya for making such a meal out of that tackle, you know she didn’t mean it.”

“I can speak for myself thanks Lexa” Anya comments, taking over the situation and turning to face me. She is obviously upset, has she been crying?

“I’m not going to apologise, I was in pain? What was I supposed to do? I know you didn’t mean it and it's cool, you don’t need to worry.”

“You don’t understand...I need to impress the coach, I need the playing time so I can be recalled to the national youth team. I can’t be dealing with youngsters like you coming in and taking the spotlight away from hard working players like me who has given everything for this college the last 3 years. I struggled with injury last year, just after getting called up, now time is passing and suddenly new players are taking away the attention, like you.”

“Seriously that is it?”

“What? You think it’s funny? You getting in the way of my soccer career?”   


“No. Not in the slightest. But that’s why you’re mad at me?”

“Yes? Why wouldn't I be. I am perfectly entitled to…”

“Anya you need to chill. There is no way in hell that one player or a few new players are going to get in between you and your dreams. Yes there has been a lot of focus on me, but I just want to play my game and help the team. You’re the star. You’re the one everyone looks up to on the field. You have the experience and the passion. If you focused more on the team and on the right things both on and off the field you wouldn’t have anything between you and your dream.” 

“But…”

“No, let me finish...I’m new here. I just had my first training session with you all and this is the last thing any of us need. On the field we are a team, off the field we are a team. If you want a place on the national team so badly then we all work together to get that for you, but we do it as a team and not just as you.”

“Thanks Clarke, that means a lot to me. I’m sorry I got so mad, I just don’t want all these years to go to waste and I struggle to cope with pressure.”

“Well cut out the over aggressive tackles and show more of a leader role that we youngsters expect from you and all will be fine. I’m still not happy that you felt the need to make that possibly injury threatening lunge, but it’s cool if you learn from it.”

“I guess I’ll head off now, thanks Clarke, I’ll see you tomorrow. I’ll text you when I’m back Lexa, love ya.”

Love?

“Night Anya.”

Well that was eventful…

Anya exits the room and I turn back to Lexa, expecting to see her still fuming at me, I mean Lexa is Lexa after all. I haven’t known her more than a couple of days but she seriously confuses me. 

“Thanks for understanding Clarke. I shouldn’t have been so mad, I just care so much about my cousin that if something bothers her then it bothers me too.”

“Cousin??” I’m surprised at this, I didn't expect it, but then again I can see the similarity now. It makes sense come to think of it. 

“Yep, we do everything together. School, soccer, family. She didn’t mean to start off so badly with you, she’s had a very tough time this last year and I think she has been getting very overwhelmed with everything. For this to happen on your first day I think something inside her just clicked and I went along with her because I care too much about her to see the bigger picture I guess.”

“Hey its cool, its in the past. Now that is all sorted I’m going to get an early night.” I’m shattered from training today and it’s not going to get any easier…

“Are you sure? We can watch a movie if you want? I’m tired too, it's been a long day.”

“Well since you’re offering, sure. But I’m choosing!” 

“I’m not sure if we are at the level of friendship yet where I can let you choose, maybe next time” She sarcastically comments, leaving me open mouthed. 

“I am genuinely offended Miss Woods, how dare you suggest that I cannot be trusted to pick a good movie. Budge up, we can use my netflix.”

I choose Pitch perfect, Lexa says no. I pick Mean girls, Lexa says no way...

After 5 minutes of complete failure to agree she steal my laptop off me and chooses Guardians of the Galaxy, ‘because Groot is cute’.

Well this is a new side of Lexa that I’ve never seen. I like it… I’m liking her more now, she seems to have her moments, but when she is relaxed and not hating me she seems like a genuinely nice girl, I think that’s good, right?

It doesn’t help that she is so beautiful...


	3. Match Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First game of the season. Will they win? Will Clarke play well? How might the team fancy their chances for this upcoming season?  
> Clarke and Tobin get to know each other better  
> Lexa is being nice???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo a couple of things...  
> 1\. Tobin scored at the weekend!!! Woooo!!!!! What a goal too, a cute little chip over the keeper...she made it look easy! I'm actually in love with her so much hahaha She deserved it so so much :D Shows how much of a difference she makes!  
> 2\. Liverpool vs Roma tonight for those who are following the Champions League. As a very very passionate Reds fan I cannot wait!! Champions League final here we come! Hopefully....fingers crossed... Salah to score again???   
> 3\. I really enjoyed writing this chapter a lot, there will be some drama coming up and lots of interesting things happening so stick around :p  
> 4\. As I've said before, this is my first fic. So comments are soooo appreciated. Constructive criticism above all!  
> Hope you all enjoy this chapter :D

I wake up confused and panicking. This isn't my bed ... In fact I don't remember getting into my bed last night ... Hang on, why is there someone else in here with me??

It all comes back to me when I see that it is Lexa lying next to me. We must have fallen asleep watching the film last night. Waking up with another girl in the same bed as me is a little weird, but that girl being an incredibly beautiful woman is actually rather difficult for me to wrap my head around. 

Not that I'm complaining, but Lexa’s messy bed hair makes her the complete image of perfection in the morning. 

“Quit staring, it's distracting me from my sleep.” Lexa comments, without even opening her eyes. 

“How…???”

“Shhh let me sleep”

“But Lexa it's only 15 minutes until breakfast”

“Urgh whatever” She opens her eyes and immediately scrunches them closed tightly at the brightness of the sun shining into the room.

“Lexaaa come on” 

I start poking her in the side of her ribs, trying to wake her up. As I should’ve expected, all I receive in return is a rather harsh slap on the arm, a frustrated glare and an incredibly cute pout from her as she finally sits up.

Shit! Her eyes are so green, like beautiful forests, I stare into them, trying to read her, whisking me away to another planet. It's strange because they seem to drift between blue and green depending on the light. Dammit I could look into them all day.

“Clarke!!! You're doing the staring thing again! Seriously!” 

“Oh um right, uh sorry” 

********

The week passes without much drama, the girls all working hard to be match fit and ready for their first game of the season, a friendly against St Mary’s, before the season opener next weekend against UTAH.

********

“Alright ladies, this is it. We have worked so hard these last few weeks and we have pushed you harder than any year before. Now we have the opportunity to show that this year it is not going to be easy for any opponent unfortunate enough to play against us. Let's go out there and show what we have worked for!” 

Cori finishes the team talk and we all shout out Bears together, before heading out of the dressing room.

I can't wait to play my first game in this new continent. I don't know what to expect. The intensity, the quality, the style of play. I imagine it will be so different to what I am used to from Australia. 

“Good luck Clarke” Tobin calls out from my left, grinning and giving me a thumbs up, I return the gesture, letting out a nervous smile. 

The whistle blows and immediately the intensity becomes apparent. Unlike anything from our scrimmages in training. 

I can tell that Cori is an excellent tactician. Our game plan is to press high up the pitch and isolate their attack by doing so. They like to play out from the back and dominate the midfield, by pressing high we aim to cut the passing lanes and put pressure on their back line. 

We dominate possession in the early game, not even letting St Mary’s out of their half. Lexa is playing out of her skin down the right wing, all our play is going through her and she seems to be everywhere on the field too. 

We win a throw in on that right flank and the ball is thrown to Lexa, who plays a quick one-two with Alex on the outside of the box before fainting a shot on her right, causing her defender to fall over at the sudden unexpected turn, and turning to shoot on her ‘weaker’ left side towards the near post.

The thing is, and we all already know it. She doesn't really have a weaker side.

The ball flies true, curving perfectly past the diving keeper and into the upper right corner of the goal, hitting the back of the net and opening the scoring in under 10 minutes. 

I find myself running the short distance to her and jumping onto her shoulders, hugging her, shouting with joy as the rest of our teammates join us. It's our first goal of the season and really there wouldn't be anyone else more likely to score it.

After we finish celebrating the game restarts and we continue our pressing game, still not allowing our opponents time on the ball. 

I'm enjoying my role in midfield, it's hard work rapidly closing down the space each time the ball comes near but it's working. Our opponents are panicking. 

In one intense moment of play Lexa passes the ball to me on the edge of the box and immediately I'm surrounded by 3 of their players. I don't want to lose the ball and I remember a similar situation that Tobin was in during training, remembering how she, the master of dribbling, got out of it. 

I make a few stepovers to confuse the players and feint a move to the right to try to escape and play the ball out. As the player in front of me lunges to steal the ball I shift it to the side and flick it through their open legs, performing the famous Ronaldo flip-flap, twisting around them as I feel them grab onto my shirt trying to pull me back. It's too late for them though but there is still a player closing me down fast, I remember the next thing Tobin did and imitate it. I trap the ball under my left foot and drag it back, swinging around and knocking it with the heel of my other boot, performing a perfect Mcgeady spin. I then look up and see Octavia supporting me and pass the ball back to her, taking off the pressure. 

I steal a glance across the field to see Tobin staring at me, mouth wide open and a very surprised expression on her face. I wink at her and we carry on playing, continuing to dominate the game. 

Tobin and I are linking up almost telepathically, every pass I put out left to her ends up in a chance. In the 25th minute she rolls the ball through the legs of the opposing right back, in her trademark style, and shifts it into my path as I make a run towards the box. I look up and see Alex arriving at the back post and play the ball with pace along the ground aiming for her. 

She just about manages to get enough on it to divert the cross into the goal, making the score 2-0 already, giving me my first assist and opening her scoring account for the game. 

She points over to me, wanting to celebrate and thank me for the inch perfect cross into her but Tobin reaches her first, grabbing onto her waist and lifting her up while the rest of us arrive, congratulating her on the goal, which clearly makes her overjoyed. Afterwards she jogs over to me and lets me know that there will be more to come.

We cruise into half time, having not even faced a single shot all half. Their only two chances were easily stopped by the ever growing partnership of Anya and Octavia. Pretty good going for the first game of the season. Albeit a friendly, but a soccer game is never ‘just a friendly’. 

Tobin jogs over to me as the whistle blows for half time.

“Well look at you Griffin. Clearly you've been taking notes from the best player on the team" she jokes, playfully pushing me as I laugh at her dorkiness. 

“Well...I've always said...Anything you can do, I can do better” I wink at her and walk off over to Alex, leaving an even more surprised Tobin standing there. 

“Hey Alex, nice finish!” 

“Thanks Clarke! You've been killing it out here, considering its your debut!” 

“Well playing alongside the best young attacking force in America does help" I say, half joking, but by the way we are playing I feel a lot of truth in the statement. 

“What can I say? I just keep banging them in and I'm not done yet” she confidently states, grinning at me as we enter the changing room. 

“Awesome stuff girls, this is exactly what I wanted from you. Intensity, pressing and communication. Keep it up in the second half but don’t get complacent, they will come out fighting! Let's go Bears!”

Cori clearly knows how to motivate a team, she is the sort of coach every team wants and every player wants to play for.

Unfortunately she was right and they come out fighting, scoring two goals in quick succession and tying the game up at 2-2 within only 15 minutes of the second half. Anya and Octavia are clearly pissed. Their lapses in concentration cost us, especially for the second which was down to poor marking, allowing their striker to break free in the box to slot home the equaliser. 

We continue to dominate the ball for the rest of the game, not managing to take our chances but creating plenty. 

I play some passes with Lexa before deciding to drive into the box with the ball between two of their defenders, who can't manage to nick the ball off me. As soon as I have the space I decide fuckit and strike the ball towards the goal with all the force I can muster. 

It looks like it is going in but annoyingly hits the post and rebounds out into the box. Luckily however Alex is there in the right place at the right time to pick up the loose ball and knock it into the empty net to retake the lead with only 15 minutes left of play. 

Again we celebrate in a group hug. 

“Nice run there Clarke, although if it was me I would have at least made one of them fall on their arse” Tobin jokes, winking at me, clearly not forgetting what I said to her earlier. 

I glare at her for a split second before we all burst out laughing and get back to our positions, ready to defend our lead once more. This time we won't let it slide, hopefully. 

The game becomes much more difficult, fatigue clearly taking its toll on our team after our high pressing tactics. 

Thankfully the game is finished off in the 80th minute. Octavia plays a lovely long ball out to the left wing, showing off her ability on the ball for a centre back. Tobin expertly brings it down with the outside of her boot and drives down the wing at full pace before crossing the ball into the box.

Alex, on a hat trick now, jostles with the defenders, coming out on top in the physical battle and managing to connect the ball with her head as she jumps above the defender marking her. 

The ball loops over the keeper and into the back of the net, completing her hat trick and sending her running off in her newly acquired aeroplane celebration. 

No one has ever scored a hat trick on the first game of the season at our college, in fact make that pretty much anywhere. It's such an awesome achievement and testament to all the hard work that has gone into pre season training. 

“Wooo go Alex!”

“Omg that was amazing!”

“Wow Alex, fucking wow!”

We all swarm her and celebrate the achievement as well as what is surely now the win. 

********

The game finishes 4-2 and we all congratulate the opposition players, shaking hands and sharing kind words before heading off back to the dressing room. 

“Wow girls that was the perfect response! I couldn't have asked for any better following those two unfortunate early goals” 

Octavia and Anya look up, obviously mad that they conceded but at once such thoughts are abandoned after the look Cori gives them. 

“Ladies please, heads up, there is absolutely no need to be disappointed. These things happen in the early stages of the season. You're a new partnership and I'm sure that in no time you'll be keeping clean sheets left right and centre.”

They both nod and acknowledge the words from their coach before returning to their post game recovery. 

“Clarke...Seriously?”

“Huh? Sorry whatever you think I did, I didn’t do it!”

“How dare you play so well on your first game! I might have to keep playing you” Cori winks at me and pats me on the shoulder. “Keep it up kid, you and Tobin have something real special going on in the midfield for us.”

“Thanks Cori, I love this team already, I can’t wait for the next game.”

“Make sure you go through full recovery, I don’t want any injuries. Ok?

“Uh sure, I’ll take an ice bath later.”

“That's what I like to hear.” With that she walks off to congratulate and give words of wisdom to some of the other players.”  
  


I head off to the showers and relax into the warmth and comfort of the water, letting it run over me as I process what just happened. I’m so proud of myself for how I played and for the rest of the team too obviously. Lexa absolutely dominated the game, as everyone who knows her would have expected. Yes she plays right wing, but she pretty much runs everywhere and I’ve never seen a team so scared of an individual before. She has something seriously special ... If only she smiled a little more! 

I make it back to the changing room and only lexa is left in there...

“Great game today Clarke, let's hope you keep it up.” 

“Thanks Lexa, but you should be getting the praise. You dominated their team out there, they couldn't handle you at all!” 

“I just try my best, I don't have anything to lose. Every time I play I do it for my parents and that's the way it is"

“They should be so proud of you, you smashed it out there!” 

“Well I hope they would have been, if they were still around” The drop of tone makes it clear what she means. Shit why did I have to bring this up! 

“Oh shit, I'm sorry Lexa, I shouldn't have…”

“No don't worry, it's fine.” 

“I know how it feels though...I lost my dad when I was 10, it still hurts. But each time I play I know that he's watching me and supporting me from wherever he is.” 

“Then hold onto that, it'll never let you down. You're young and talented, you have what it takes to become a complete player if you are motivated.” 

“Thanks Lexa, but I imagine you'll beat me there, you're going to be one hell of a player in the future.” 

She laughs and breaks the tension created by the topic of our parents. Such a beautiful laugh, such a beautiful girl. Shit stop it Clarke, not right now… Get it together! 

“So are going to the after game party tonight then?” 

“The what? Huh?”

“Party...Alex is hosting...coming?...comprende?” 

I lightly push her away at the cheek of her reply, she laughs and grins at me. Well this is confusing, lexa smiling? But I’m not complaining, it's a beautiful sight! 

“Oh well I guess so, who's going?” 

“Everyone will be there. No one misses after-game parties, so no excuses!” 

“Alright I'll be there ... as long as you watch out for me drinking. It never ends well, apparently I have a bad reputation for being a bit of a party girl.” 

“Well you can let us know who throws the better party. Us or the Aussies.” 

“We'll have to see. Anyway I gotta go, I really need some food right now.” 

“Well do you want to grab something to eat together…?” 

“Oh sorry I'm going to lunch with a friend, otherwise it would definitely be a yes.” 

“No problem, I'll go find Anya. I'll see you later then?”

“Yup! See you later Lexa” 

My phone buzzes and I look at it to see a message from Tobin.

Tobin - _I'll be round yours in 15 minutes_

Clarke - _Ok cool, see you soon!_

**Alex pov**

After the game I decide to see if Tobin is around for lunch, we usually go to get burgers or something else unhealthy to make up for all the exercise. 

Alex - _Hey Tobs, I assume we're on for lunch as usual? I'm buying this time! :p_

Tobs - _Oh shit sorry Alex I forgot to say I can't make it sorry :( I'm off out with Clarke_

Alex - _Oh ok, I'll see you later then?_

Tobs - _You can count on it ;) see ya_

Well that sucks. We haven't missed a lunch after a game for a long time, it has become pretty much routine and now Clarke has come around and seems to be taking my best friend. 

I don’t want to get mad but at the same time I can't help it, I've been so close to Tobin recently and I can feel her drifting slowly away. We even went on holiday together to Florida during the summer, relaxing on the beach and playing all sorts of sports together. Not to mention the water parks! It's not fair…

“I'm back babe”

“Alex! I was about to go out actually, if you don't mind?” 

“Oh how come?”

“I just want to get everything for the party tonight, it's gonna be a mad one!

“I can come with you? I just need to have a shower and get changed.”

“No it's ok, I've got this. I'll see you later then, yeah?” 

“So you're not even going to ask me how my game was before you leave” I roll my eyes, annoyed that my boyfriend clearly has other priorities more important than me. 

“Well...did you win?”

“Yep 4-2. It felt so good for the first game back and … I scored a hat trick!” 

“Oh nice. It's only a friendly though?”

Really??? ONLY a friendly??? 

“Well yeah...But it's still amazing to score 3 goals in any game?” 

“True, well we can celebrate it together later” He winks and I know exactly what he means. I'm not in the mood though but I want to keep him happy, it's what keeps me from falling apart ... I think…

“See you later” He playfully hits my ass as he leaves and I turn around to glare at him but he’s already gone.

First Tobin and now Servando. I'm tired and confused and don't know what to do anymore. I would usually have gone to Tobin, she always knows what to do, but now she is too busy for me. Servando and I have been on the downhill since the beginning of summer. He seems disinterested now, like I'm not good enough. Maybe I really am not good enough? But I can't bring myself to part from him, I'm too scared of what he might do … 

I decide to do some tidying for the party later before going for a shower and then a quick nap.

**Clarke pov**

A knock on the door alerts me that Tobin must have arrived, predictably bang on time. I open the door and I’m immediately met by the addictive warm smile of Tobin, obviously she is excited to meet up. 

“Hey! You ready to go?”

“Yep, I'm starving! The game definitely gave me an appetite!”

“Well you won't be disappointed where we're going! The food is amaaaazing!” 

We make small talk as Tobin drives us the short distance into town. Neither of us wanting to walk having played the full 90 minute match earlier and it having been our first proper game. 

Tobin parks and leads me over to a burger restaurant, my mouth watering at the thought of the food we'll soon be devouring. 

“If you want recommendation then the porky burger is definitely the best choice. Pulled pork, bacon and cheese. Can't go wrong with it!” 

“Sure, I'll have that then. You had better be right, I need some seriously good food right now.” I grin at her and she smiles back, acknowledging my love for food. Sometimes people ask me how I stay in shape, I just tell them I have no clue...

“Also the smoothies are a great shout too, I'll order for us."” 

“Go for it! Thanks" She goes up to the counter to order our food. She clearly knows how to treat a friend when it comes to lunch apparently. Definitely an important friendship attribute I can't help but admit, laughing internally.

“So how come you made the move all the way over here then?” Tobin asks as she sits back down. 

“Well...long story...” 

“We have time!” 

“Ok…” 

* **Flashback** * 

_ I stand over the ball, head down, complete concentration. Controlling my breathing with deep, calming breaths.  _

_ If I score this then surely the trophy will be ours. After 13 years of no silverware, prior to my few years here, it's been an incredible turnaround for this awesome team.  _

_ I look across to  my girlfriend Niylah, she gives me a reassuring nod and a smile, confident in my ability to take us all the way.  _

_ The free kick is just outside the box, slightly left of centre, making it ideal for a right footed player like myself.  _

_ I've scored so many in training before from this position. But with the players on the pitch, the pressure of this most likely being the last kick of the 90 minutes and the score being tied 2-2 I need to focus.  _

_ I zone out from everyone around me and focus solely on the ball, I know what I need to do and how to do it. Just be yourself Clarke. Do what you have worked so hard to do. _

_ The whistle blows... _

_ I take the few steps towards the ball and kick it with power and precision, watching with intensity as the ball loops over the wall and begins to dip down... _

_ Is it enough?  _

_ The ball hits the underside of the bar just next to the upper right triangle where the post and bar meet, dropping down and bouncing up off the ground. _

_ Did it cross the line??? _

_ We all turn to the linesman who takes a moment to gather their interpretation before signalling....... _

 

_ GOAL! _

 

_ I did it!! We did it!!! Champions for the second year running!!!! _

_ I don't have much time to process it before I'm knocked to the ground by my teammates, the air leaving my lungs and the screams of the other girls bringing me to reality.  _

_ Woooo!!!! _

_ Champions!!!  _

_ The game restarts and immediately the referee blows the final whistle. We all celebrate again, that's it, all the hard work and devotion and we finally have the award to our names once again.  _

_ As Captain of the Melbourne U18’s I have the immense privilege of lifting the trophy. I've never been more grateful to my team and managing staff. Without their work we would be nowhere, it's a team sport after all, not just involving those on the pitch.  _

_ After the celebrations a woman, probably in her mid thirties, approaches me and asks for a word in private. I tell my team I'll catch them up and agree, not knowing what this might be.  _

_ “Clarke?” She asks in what sounds like an American accent, definitely not from anywhere around here.  _

_ “That's me.”  _

_ “Hi, I'm Chloe. I'm from the University of California, Berkeley. Pleased to meet you.”  _

_ “Hi, is there something I can do?”  _

_ “Yes, but it's a big ask so you'll need time to think and process it.  _

_ “Right..um...ok…?”  _

_ “We have been watching you for a while now and have been so impressed by your displays that would like to offer you a soccer scholarship at our university in California.”  _

_ “Oh my god!!! Really??”  _

_ “Yes really! You're such a talented player with excellent leadership qualities that we would be prepared to do pretty much anything to have you with us after the summer.”  _

_ “Well I wouldn't go that far, I have an incredible team behind me and…”  _

_ “You're the one we want. We have been scouting much more away from our home nation due our recently established movement to boost women's soccer popularity around the world. You've been monitored for the entire second half of the season and really we don't want you to miss out on the opportunity to develop your game as far as possible.”  _

_ “Thank you so much for the offer but I think I'll have to talk to my mom first. It's such a big decision!”  _

_ “I didn't expect you to answer right away. Yes it is a big decision, you have to decide ... Is soccer what you want? To follow your dreams ... I'll be back in touch in two days time, I know it isn't very long but we have a lot of prep to do if you agree.”  _

_ “I'll think it through. I'm so honoured! I never expected anything like this!”  _

_ “Well keep doing what you're doing and who knows where you'll end up. Anyway I'll leave you to your celebrations. Great game out there today!”  _

_ “Thank you so much! See you soon"  _

_ I have soooo many thoughts running through my head but I push them away for now. Focusing on the celebrations to come and on congratulating my teammates.  _

**_****_ **

_ “No Clarke. NO! … Definitely not…”  _

_ “But mom you know it's what I want. I've dreamt of being a professional soccer player, you know that!” _

_ “There is too much risk, you'll be away from home for the next few years. You won't have any backup, any friends or family there for you.”  _

_ “I need this, you don't understand. It's what dad would have wanted. He never missed a game, he loved watching me play, he wanted this.”  _

_ “But he is gone now, it's just you and me. I need you around, you should be pursuing a career in medicine. Not wasting your time kicking a ball around!”  _

_ “No. You know I can't do that ... and how dare you speak of dad like that. I'm going. That's final. Whether you like it or not…”  I storm off and up to my room, slamming the door classic teenage style.  _

_ * _ **End of flashback** _ *  _

“So yeah, that's it I guess...” 

“I can't believe your mom really didn't want you to come! It's your dream! You live and breathe soccer, nothing will change that!” 

“Well she always struggled after dad…”  I choke back tears that begin to form but I'm too late to mask it from Tobin. 

“Awh no Clarke please, I didn't mean to upset you, I just…” 

“Its ok, it just hurts that everything was so perfect and then suddenly wasn't. But I've learnt to be strong, for me and my mother, love for soccer has always kept me going because love always wins.” 

“You're right about that. Well if there is anything I can do ever then I'll be there”. She smiles reassuringly, letting me know the truth in her words. Her friendship already means so much to me even after only a week. It's so good knowing that after the big move that I have all I need right now; friendship and soccer. 

“Thank Tobs. I can call you Tobs, right?” I laugh, bringing us out of the emotional chasm we had just descended into. 

“As long as it's not Toby then anything is fine!” 

“Sure thing Tobsey” I smile, watching the priceless reaction on her face. 

“Ok...Nope...Not happening.”

“What?” I smile innocently as she flicks a salad leaf at me, hitting me in the face and leaving a smudge of burger sauce on my cheek.

“Tobin or Tobs. I'm restricting you now, for good reason! I simply can't trust you" She sticks her tongue out at me, just in time for my revenge. I throw one of my untouched gherkins from my burger at her outstretched tongue as revenge.

“Hey! That was so uncalled for! Ewwww I hate gherkins, they are disgusting! Ewwwwww” 

“Sorry not sorry" I smile again, frustrating her even more and unfortunately for me, fuelling her desire to revenge

“You just marked yourself Miss Griffin. Remember this moment as I get you back when you least expect it” She grins, alerting me than I'm in serious trouble. Shit I need to watch out from now on!

“We'll see…” 

“Challenge accepted princess” 

“Nope, not that name, please no!” I refuse to allow that name to follow me everywhere I go. Urgh you gotta be kidding me!

“Did you seriously get called princess before here??” 

“Yes, I hate it! Stupid Bellamy started it with my friends back home and it stuck on. I made him swear to never call me it again if he wanted to hear from me while I'm over here.” 

“Oh right. Who's Bellamy?” Her face seems to drop suddenly, as if she has been told that there is a new Twilight film coming out or something! 

“Oh right well we dated back in the day…” 

“Oh...right...and???” She seems rather interested in this, it confuses me a lot.

“Oh, well I ended it quite swiftly because I realised that he is more of a big brother to me than anything else. He seemed angry at first, but over time accepted it, unlike some of our group who still seem to think we should be together despite that! 

(((* **Note** * Sound familiar?)))

“Oh right, well I guess he just wasn't quite a Tobin, huh?” She seems to be in good spirit again, making me laugh at her comment. 

“You wish Tobster” I wink back at her, causing her to blush and annoying her at the same time.

“Hey!!! I said no more nicknames!!!!” 

“You called me princess!!!” 

“Fine...truce?” 

“Truce…” 

“We should probably finish up and head back to get ready for the party later.” 

“Ok, thanks for this, it's been fun” 

“In glad you enjoyed it, we will have to come here more often!” 

“Hell yes! I could totally nail the rest of the menu! Hey can we get ice cream on the way back? I'm in an ice cream mood.” 

“Sure, I know a place…” 

“You seem to know a lot of places" 

“It comes in useful” 

“Seriously though, I really enjoyed this. It means the world to me that people are making an effort to help me settle in here.” 

“No worries, it's good to have another friend other than Alex!” We both laugh, knowing that Alex is awesome and that it's impossible to not like her. 

After grabbing ice cream we head off back and Tobin drops me off at my dorm area. 

I almost don't want to leave her but I'll see her in a few hours anyway. 

“Thanks again, you're the best, Tobs!” 

“I aim to please. See you soon!” 

“Byeee” 

She drives off and leaves me standing outside.

I couldn't be happier with my newfound friendships here, especially Tobin and possibly even Lexa. Not forgetting Raven in all her craziness, Octavia and also Alex. I couldn't have asked for better, since arriving here a nervous wreck at first.

I head off up to my room to get ready with Lexa for the party...


	4. Party time!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drama...drama...oh and more drama!  
> A party with lots of alcohol going around and lots of drama, be prepared!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my birthday today! 19 years old, time flies lol!  
> PLEASE READ...  
> I have exams coming up at the beginning of June so uploads are going to slow down for the time being. I'm so sorry to those who are waiting on updates! Unfortunately life comes first. Although I wish I could prioritise writing...  
> ****  
> Also...Tobin is continuing to kick ass on the pitch irl, she is just so good to watch!! ]  
> Real Madrid vs Liverpool is approaching...Champions league final here we come!!  
> Alex Morgan though...what is going on? It just isn't clicking for her at all and its so frustrating to watch! Her midfielders aren't giving her good enough supply for her to bang them in like she does best :( Hope it changes soon!  
> Love you all for reading! Thank you so much for your comments :D

I'm currently in the bathroom applying the finishing touches to my makeup for tonight. I don't want to overdo it but equally I want to put some effort in.

I even went through the immense joy of finding a nice outfit to wear, deciding on a black dress that had immediately caught my eye. It’s a sleeveless dress with a fairly low cut and a leg split down the right side. Maybe showing off a little more than I would have wanted to, but it's a party I guess so anything goes, right?

“Hey Lexa? Can you help me??” 

“Sure...what's up?”

“Do I look ok for tonight? I haven't gone over the top or anything have I?”

“Let me see…”

I leave the bathroom and walk into the room to a waiting Lexa, who's jaw immediately drops as I enter.

Shit I've definitely overdone it … fuck now I'm gonna have to find another outfit…

“Well...? Lex...?”

“Fuck...erm wow I mean…um...” 

I've genuinely never seen Lexa lost for words before, or looking at me like this. Her green emerald eyes scan over me quickly, before resting in my gaze, capturing my attention and removing all sense of surroundings. She breaks the gaze after what feels like minutes, but in reality was a matter of seconds. 

I can't deny that she is breathtakingly beautiful, but I also know she is way out of my league and also that she is most likely not into girls. But the way she just looked at me suggests that there might be something there. I push the thoughts to the back of my mind, she isn't the one for me, aren't my feelings elsewhere anyway? I really don't know anymore…

“What do you always tell me about staring?” I cheekily remind her, bringing her out of her current state.

“Oh fuck sorry, I just … sorry I blanked out.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Noooo no no. I just … You look amazing! Like WOW, that sort of amazing!” 

“It isn't too much…?”

“Hell no! I quite like it actually" she winks at me, causing me to blush and turn away from her, I thought it was a cute dress but again my thoughts travel towards wondering if it might be showing off a little too much…

“So are you going to stop staring now?” I throw the comment from earlier back at her in an attempt to get at least a smile out of her.

“Well I’m sorry that you are rather captivating in that dress! It’s not my fault! I promise!” She goes on the defensive which I intend to take full advantage of…

“Well...I’ll just have to make sure I stick around you tonight…I might even dance with you...” I leave the suggestion open, pouncing on the opportunity to tease the usually robotic and unemotional Lexa.

““How about we swiftly move on and get ready to leave?” She seems flustered, something I’ve never witnessed. 

I decide to leave her alone and go back to the bathroom to apply finishing touches before heading out.

********

We arrive at the front door to Servando’s house, a little later than everyone else, as Lexa seemed to be distracted all evening for some reason. Unusual for her.... I’m already shocked by the volume of music and people already inside, clearly the party is already in full swing. Lexa still seems to have her mind elsewhere as we stand at the front door...

“Lexaaa! Clarkeeee! Please...come in. Great to see you both! I'm Alex by the way.” Alex greets us, already haing been drinking most likely, she seems very out of it already...

“Right, we already know you…” 

“Oh yeah whoops! Sorry. Well you look...um...different Clarke, like sexy sort of different! Are you sure that it’s you? Not a model or…?” Ok nope she has definitely already been drinking, probably too much by the looks of things.

“I'll take that as a complement then?”

“Take it however you want, you're going to get some great attention tonight!” 

Oh lovely...

“Well are you going to let us in?” Lexa jokes, amused by the situation.

“Oh yeah sure, come in! I'll grab you both a drink since I was heading there anyway.” 

“It’s ok, we'll get them ourselves, I'll get you some water too.” Lexa replies, obviously concerned about Alex.

“Nooo it's fine. Pleaseee I got this" 

We both watch as she walks off towards the direction of where the drinks are and stumbles slightly before tripping over the carpet (somehow)...

“I’ll sort her out, you go enjoy yourself and I'll see you around.” Lexa heads over to Alex and I rather reluctantly head off to find some people I know. 

I look around and see Tobin talking to Octavia and Raven on the other side of the room, laughing at something one of them must have said. At that moment Tobin looks across and makes eye contact with me, grinning and signalling for me to come over. 

As I'm making my way through the hordes of people a hand falls on my shoulder, turning me around before I have a clue what's going on. 

“You were just with Alex, weren't you?” The guy who stopped me asks firmly, eying me over at the same time, making me feel rather uncomfortable.

“Yes…?”

“Do you know where she went? I need to find her.”

“Oh right, um she went to the kitchen I think. But hey she isn't in the best state right now…” 

“Oh great, not again… Stupid girl needs to learn some self control! Fucks sake.” 

“I'm sorry what? Don't talk about Alex like that. She's a great friend, have some respect…” I leave the suggestion open before turning to walk away, not wanting the attention. The guy has other ideas...

“I'm sorry, I don't think we have met before?” 

“No we haven't…” I mutter a thankfully under my breath which he pretends not to hear. 

“Well I'm Servando. This is my home...so you don't tell me what to do.” Oh shit it's Servando…Good one Clarke…Real smooth

“Oh right, well sorry, but I'm still not letting you call my friend stupid…” 

“Whatever, I don't care...What's your name anyway?” 

“Clarke.”

“Well Clarke, you're lucky you're seriously hot otherwise I'd be pretty pissed off.” 

Well ok then...what the fuck

“Is there a problem here?” I hear Tobin approach from behind me and see her glaring at Servando.

“Nope, just getting to know this hottie.”

“You have a girlfriend you idiot. Don't even think about hitting on Clarke, now fuck off elsewhere.” Tobin seems to know Servando well, she must be able to get away with saying this or she would be rather reckless.

“Fine, whatever Toby. See you around Clarke…” 

He turns and heads off to the kitchen while I'm still stood in the same spot trying to work out what just happened and Tobin is glaring after him, probably conflicted about what to do.=, especially since she hates being called Toby...

“You ok, Clarke?” Tobin asks in a sympathetic manner.

“Yeah, just a little confused that's all. He insulted Alex and I had to…” My voice cracks slightly as I struggle to explain how pissed off I am at the moment. 

“I know, he does it all the time. I really don't understand. I really don't…” 

“Wait so Alex is actually with that douchebag?” It just hit me that those two are actually dating and that just pisses me off even more, seriously?!?!

“Unfortunately...She doesn't seem to realise who he really is. She seems sorta brainwashed in the situation but it's impossible to talk to her about him.” 

“Is there not anything we can do? I mean it just doesn't seem right at all…”

“Well I know Alex incredibly well, we have grown up player soccer together and living around each other,, but I’ve never seen her like this. It’s weird. But she is also the most stubborn person I know…”

“I guess for now we just keep a closer watch on her? Make sure she is ok, you know?” I at least want to do something, Alex is one of my close friends since I’ve moved here and I can’t bear to hear about this situation.

“Sure, sounds good, I’d hate to see anything bad happen to her…”

“Now, shall we forget all of this and enjoy the rest of the evening?”

“Fuck yes! Let’s have some fun” 

********

After a couple of hours Tobin and I had managed to win a few games of peer pong and now we're up against Anya and Octavia, the apparently undefeated champions. 

“I think it's about time you learnt what it feels like to lose Anya…” I fire the comment at her, hoping to distract her from the game. 

“So what? I can be on your level? Yeah right…” she scoffs and throws the ball...straight into one of my cups. Ok then.

“Go on Clarke!” Raven has come back from probably to hiding after we beat her earlier.

I throw the ball and it bounces off the edge of one of their cups and into the air, as I think it's going to miss it falls back down and luckily somehow drops into the one to the left. 

1-1

“Lucky shot. You won't be able to keep that up.” 

“You think?” 

Anya and Octavia miss their next two and we sink both of ours, taking the lead and frustrating our opponents at the same time. It's tense stuff and it feels like so much more than just a beer pong game! 

Tobin sinks the next one but so does O. 

“Boom bitchessss...Octavia is backkkk!” She seems to be even more dramatic when she's been drinking than she is normally. 

“Took your time, were the first 2 just warm up throws?” Tobin cheekily replies, earning a glare from Octavia, Anya on the other hand seems rather quiet. 

I watch as she leans over to Octavia and whispers in her ear, this makes me very uncomfortable, they must be planning something. 

I miss my next shot and so does Anya, keeping the score at 4-2. Tobin and I are confident though, we only need two more and we win…

“Watch and learn” Tobin states, before bouncing the ball clean into one of their two remaining cups which Anya proceeds to down in her usual fashion of ease. 

Octavia then lines up her shot and manages to successfully bounce it into one of our cups which I then have to drink. I'm already pretty tipsy, borderline drunk, we need to win now. Only one more...

Just as I'm lining up what should hopefully be the winning shot Octavia blurts out a completely random question...

“So how was your date earlier you two?” she asks in an innocent manner…

“Date? You're joking, right?” Tobin answers, before ordering me to take the shot to finish them off. 

It misses, I'm too distracted now by the fact that Octavia knows about our lunch together, and even more so that she thinks it was a date!

“Ayyy nice one Clarke" she cheers, laughing at us and giving the ball to Anya, who is smirking devilishly behind her. 

Anya proceeds to take and land the last 3, taking over from Octavia who seems happy to let her carry then to victory with each of their next throws. I swear that’s against the rules! Tobs and I precede to miss all our remaining throws.

Octavia throws her arms into the air, celebrating the victory with Anya, while Tobs and I look at each other with defeat written all over our faces...

To make the situation even worse, Anya then goes on to suggest that we should have to take shots for losing, which everyone else in the crowd that seems to have gathered decides is a great idea, much to our annoyance. I'm already feeling the effects of all the many beers, great…really great

She goes ahead and pours us both a shot of vodka and presents them to us with a wide grin on her face. Clearly enjoying the moment of humiliating us! 

Raven takes over and counts to 3, we both take the shot and turn to each other with expressions of ‘help’ on our faces. 

Everyone around us cheers before heading off back to the rest of the party while Tobin and I turn on Octavia and Anya. 

“Seriously guys? Not cool!” Tobin gets in there first, although clearly looking like she is beginning to feel the effect of all the alcohol in her system.

“We're just teaching you not to mess with the dream team" Octavia replies, high fiving Anya before Raven suggests we go dance in one of the other rooms in this crazy huge house. 

“I've been waiting all night to see you dance in that dress" Tobin whispers in my ear as we make our way through the crowds of people. 

I blush and turn around, only to see her looking away as if she hadn't said a thing! I will definitely have to get revenge for that, I know just how. 

After a few songs it becomes clear that Raven is the best dancer of our group, the way she moves her body is actually not even scientifically possible surely. It must be a latina thing, she doesn’t seem to want to stop, more like can’t… So we continue on, enjoying the beat of the music and having fun just being free with just us and music, nothing else to care about. 

The next song slows right down, I recognise it as Alicia Key’s ‘If I Ain’t Got You’, dammit I love this song, its so beautiful! Before I can even process anything I find someone suddenly in my personal space, my first reaction is to push them away but then I notice who it is and smile, realising exactly what this means…

“Care to dance with me Miss Griffin?” Tobin asks, pouring out confidence into the question which I can’t let down.

“Sure thing Tobs, but I’m actually so bad I don’t want to make you look stupid!”

“It’s cool, I’ve already experienced that with Alex, don’t worry” she jokes and I laugh, relaxing into her embrace as we drift along to the music with one another, enjoying the freedom of the moment. She moves us along and directs me as we move to the music, I can hear her singing along to the lyrics too, she has a pretty damn good voice, I need to hear it more often! Shit I think I’m getting carried away!

At the end of the song we part and I turn to face her, thankful for the moment and we both grin, huge grins on our faces as we look over to see Octavia and Raven who also seem to have ended up in the same situation. It’s almost funny to watch them together, such opposites enjoying this moment, but as they say...opposites attract, right?

“Looks like you two were having fun there.” Lexa approaches us from across the room and with that trademark smirk on her face as she watches us blush as we look at each other, probably both trying to figure out how to escape. 

“Erm, yeah…” Tobin manages to squeeze out, suddenly showing awkwardness...

“I think as your roommate you owe me a dance too? No?” she asks, moving closer to me and staring into my eyes, as if reading my exact thoughts. But what about Tobin? I look around for her but she seems to have disappeared into thin air...So I decide to take Lexa up on her offer.

“Well...I didn’t take you for the dancing kind…?”

“And what exactly am I then?”   
“Well...I mean talking about matching dancing to personality...Can you do the robot dance?” 

I laugh at her priceless jaw drop before she grabs me by the arm and drags me into the space in the middle of the room. 

“I’ll show you how to dance.”

A new song is playing which I don’t recognise, it seems to be a strange latin sounding piece, no lyrics, just a very rhythmic pulse, I’ve never encountered anything like this before. But it doesn’t matter, Lexa is in control and she seems to know what she is doing.

She moves to the rhythm, guiding me along to the fast paced tempo, leading me around the floor as she starts to become more elaborate with hermoments. I have clearly misjudged her dancing ability, she is an expert by the looks of things, the way she moves so perfectly in time and with such grace. It reminds me of her on the soccer field, except on the field she is intimidating and every opponents worst nightmare, but she moves with the ball as if it is a part of her, with fluidity and character. Is she this good at everything she does???

The piece continues to build as I start to feel the heat and the adrenaline of the dance, Lexa continuing to whisk me around. I just manage to steal a glance around to see that there seems to be a crowd gathered and the only people dancing now are Lexa and I and Octavia and Raven, who similarly are expertly moving along to the music.

The piece finally comes to an end and applause rings out from around us as we catch our breathe, grinning at each other. I look over and catch Raven looking over at us, she strides over and gives us both a high five while shouting words very loudly which I don’t manage to pick up because it all seems to be a blur. When my senses come back to me I realise that Raven is asking Lexa about the music, apparently Lexa had asked the DJ for the song beforehand, already knowing that I would agree to dance with her.

“You didn’t know this was my favourite to dance to?” Raven asks, completely taken aback by the situation.

“Nope, I learnt to dance when I was younger, apparently it helps with soccer, so I did it and never looked back! I love it!”

“Well you certainly showed that, but hey you lack the latina skills of dancing to be as good as me” she winks and I look over to Octavia who seems to be just as lost as me. 

Out of the corner of my eye I catch Tobin staying at us from the doorway, she has a strange look on her face, one seemingly conflicted between awe, jealousy and anger. I can’t quite interpret it but before I can she turns and leaves in a hurry.

“You ok Clarke?” Lexa asks, turning my attention back around to her.

“Yeah,.I’m ok” I rasp out, still a little confused and overwhelmed by everything. 

“I’m impressed! You managed to keep up with me back there, maybe you should try being that good at soccer” I playfully hit her arm as she pretends to be in pain before turning away to talk to Octavia. I seize the opportunity of her having her back turned to attempt to tickle her to get her back for her comment about my soccer skills. All it result in though is me figuring out that she isn’t ticklish and her glaring at me and warning me to not try that again or I should fear for my life...Lexa the overdramatic drama queen… 

********

As the party draws to a close I see Tobin sitting my herself, nursing a bottle of something that looks probably quite strong, too strong for this late, but she doesn’t seem to care. 

“Hey Tobs! I’ve been looking for you everywhere! Where did you disappear off to?”

“Oh it doesn’t matter, you seemed occupied with Lexa anyway…” she sounds jealous for some reason, I’m a little confused as to what she means.

“Oh yeah did you see that dance? Holy shit that girl is good. Raven too!”

“Yeah...I saw…” 

“Hey, are you ok?” Tobs? Look at me.” She looks up and meets my eyes, melting my heart as I see the almost sad expression on her face. 

“I'm fine, I promise.”

“Are you sure?” Her expression changes and suddenly there is an anger to her. 

“Yes. Just leave me alone, go back to Lexa and the others.” 

“Tobs, what…?”

“Go…” 

“Ok, fine. At least stop drinking though. Please.” I can tell now that she doesn't seem to be fully in control of herself. All the drinking earlier and now this. 

“Clarke just go, please…” 

“Ok, text me when you're back at your dorm. I want to know you make it ok.” With that I turn and head over to the group, confused and most of all worried. I don't know what's up with Tobin but I know who might be able to help. 

“Lex, what happened to Alex earlier? I haven't seen her since.” 

“Oh yeah I got her some food and water before telling her she should rest rather than be down here.” 

“Oh right, ok. So she's upstairs?” 

“Yeah...why?” 

“Oh nothing. I was just wondering and wanted to see if she's ok.” 

“Yeah, she wasn't in a great condition. I've never seen her like that before! She must have been drinking all afternoon or something, it's strange really.” 

“Right, thanks" I smile before heading upstairs to try to find her, Lexa watching after me. Alex will be able to help with Tobin, seriously those two are like peas in a pod. 

The house is so big that I have no idea which rooms to check, no one has come up here though as far as I know. It must be that people know not to.

That's when I hear voices coming from a room at the far end of the corridor, muffled by the door but still audible enough to work out what they are saying. 

“No Servando, I'm not in the mood, please I just need to rest.” 

“I don't care. I’m in the mood and you're not in a position to say no, so just accept that you want me.” 

“No, fuck off. I'm done doing what you say anymore, I can't do it. What happened to us? You used to care about me!” 

“I still care about you, that's why I want this, you're so fucking hot. How could anyone resist this body of yours, so perfect and all mine. We agreed earlier that you would get a reward for your hat trick.” 

There is a moment of silence followed by the sound of a rather harsh slap. And much more raised voices now, clearly audible and very angry. 

“I said no you idiot! Why don't you understand it And I didn’t promise anything at all!”

“Shut up and just relax, you don't have to do anything. Just let me…”

At that point I've had enough and I barge into the room, the surprised couple staring back at me in shock. 

“Clarke?” Alex rasps, the emotion on her face is evident, she is struggling to hold back tears and is pleading for help. 

“Alex...what is…”

“Get the fuck out of my room, princess, this is none of your business.” 

“SHUT UP MORON” I shout at him, losing my temper and fed up of his attempts. 

“What did you just…” 

“I said shut up dickhead. No means no. Only the lowest of the low try to push it, that's you right now. How dare you take advantage of Alex like this you selfish coward!” 

“What is going on here?” I hear Anya’s voice and turn around to see her, Lexa and  even Tobin, all standing there, trying to work out the current situation…

“Nothing. Don't you worry girls, everything is fine here. Now please leave my room…” Servando is frustrated now and it's showing, he is starting to panic.

“Clarke?” Alex pleads at me, trying to get my help in the situation, not wanting Servando to get away with it. But equally she looks over at him, fearful of what his reaction might be. She is afraid, it’s obvious, I need to help her.

“Servando was forcing Alex into having sex with her and wouldn't take no for an answer. From what I heard this isn't the first time.” 

“You fucking did what now?” Tobin cuts in, fuming with rage at hearing revelation of these events. She strides forward and before anyone even knows what is going on she lands a punch straight into the jaw of Servando. He shouts and lunges at her but is intercepted by Anya who pushes him out the way. 

“Everyone stop! Don't fucking move” she shouts, drawing everyone's attention to her rather scary persona. 

“Alex, go to the bathroom and get changed into some proper clothes. The rest of you can leave, wait downstairs for us. Servando don't you fucking move from that spot.” Anya commands, in control of the situation, daring anyone to defy her. Unfortunately one person in the room is stupid enough to try. 

Servando takes a step forward towards Anya and pushes her back, while stringing together a lot of not very pleasant words. The gist of it is that a second later he has been thrown to the floor in spectacular style by Anya who is now seriously pissed off. 

“Since I can't kick you out of your own house, we're leaving and you're not going to see any of us around here in the future. Comprende?” 

All Servando can do is nod and glare at her, gritting his teeth to stop himself from saying anything else stupid. At least he has some sense in him..

Once Alex returns we head downstairs, Tobin wrapping her arms around her and comforting her after this crazy ordeal. We leave Anya behind however because apparently she has more to say to Servando. I can just about make out the words as we are walking down the stairs. She seems to be taking this as a direct threat to our team and as captain she is taking it very seriously, to make sure her players are safe and well.

I can't believe someone would actually treat Alex in this way, not just once but multiple times. She is way too good for this, she doesn't deserve it, she deserves someone who will care for her.

I'm drawn out of my thoughts by the arrival of Lexa by my side…

“In these two years I never expected this...I can't believe it!” 

“I know. She has always seemed happy, the few weeks I've been here that is” 

“I knew something has been wrong more recently, she has seemed detached a little... Not that it's been noticeable in her play on the pitch" 

“Totally, if anything she has been more motivated than ever out there" 

“Tobin will sort her out, she knows that girl better than I know myself” We laugh together, although it's hard to take our minds off it. Me especially, I can't get the words from their exchanges out of my head. It fills me with worry, what if I'm in that situation one day…

As if reading my mind Lexa interrupts my thoughts.

“It'll be fine, don't worry. We're all so glad that you were in the right place at the right time. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to bear finding out later in the future when it's too late.” 

“How come you came up anyway? You wouldn't have heard because of all the music?” 

“I wanted to speak to you and when you went off to find Alex I thought I would get the opportunity. I'm glad I went after you now…” 

“Oh right, ok, well what did you want to speak about? 

“Ah don't worry, that's for another time now. “

She smiles at me reassuringly, as we make our way back to our dorm, parting from Tobin and Alex. Alex obviously staying in her shared dorm with Tobin, like it always used to be. 

********

As I lie in bed, the lights out and Lexa and I trying to sleep, my thoughts drift around my head. When I made the tough decision to come to this college I knew that life would not be so straightforward, that there was guaranteed to be some drama at some point. I was never expecting such drama so soon, hopefully this will be it for the rest of the year. 

Hopefully things will settle down and we can focus on our soccer and on taking those precious steps towards our professional career. 

I find myself listening to the sound of Lexa breathing. Deep, even breaths, she must be asleep now, lucky her. I relax to the soothing sound and slowly drift off...


	5. Dreamland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The eventful aftermath of the last chapter.  
> Some more drama.  
> The season opener match.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First: I am SO SORRY for the wait since the last chapter. I really wish I could have got this out a week ago but unfortunately that hasn't been possible with my hectic life at the moment! I think this chapter makes up for the wait though, its the longest yet and there is a lot of ground covered. Also I want to clarify that I will NEVER abandon this fic!  
> Second: THANK YOU SO MUCH - all the comments and feedback means the world to me, those who regularly comment you lot are the best and I couldn't be more thankful!! It makes my day reading positive comments and all the predictions!!  
> Third: My first exam is on the 6th June, last is on the 19th. Obviously no chapter around this time but I will try to get one out before then and afterwards I'll be completely free and done with education FINALLY - so expect much more consistency afterwards.  
> Finally: Congrats Real Madrid, but sorry I don't think you deserved it this year. Liverpool were the better team until Ramos clearly intentionally injured Salah and laughed about it, then elbowed Karius in the face. One wonder goal and two freak goals made it an undeserving win, but again, congrats on the 3 in a row. Let's not even talk about Karius but DO NOT hate on him, he doesn't need that right now, I feel so bad for him, especially when he pleaded for forgiveness from fans :(   
> p.s. Gareth Bale - stay in Spain we don't want you back in Britain lol

**Alex pov**

I still feel really fuzzy from all the alcohol, the full effects having been replaced by a rather annoying headache after my sleep and then the drama with Servando and my amazing friends. 

I haven't yet been able to process the situation, all I've wanted to do is lie down, ever since Lexa spoke to me earlier, now more so than before. I can feel emotions flowing through me, but for now I’m holding it together, Tobin doesn't need all my bullshit in her life. I can feel the world crashing down on me, squeezing me out, changing everything. It's all too much...fuck I can't even think straight at all anymore!

Tobin hasn't spoken much on our way back, she knows I want space right now. She always knows, she always cares, she's always there. Like she is now. Honestly what did I do to get such an incredible, caring best friend. 

We get to the door and suddenly I don't know what to do. The realisation of all the memories of this place come rushing back, I should have spent more time with her. She would have gotten me out of this mess with the click of her fingers. Tobin is just that amazing. 

“Come on, let's get you a shower and I’ll make your bed up again” 

“Thanks” I croak out, smiling weakly for a brief moment, not confident in my ability to speak. 

We make it inside and suddenly that's it...I can't hold it in any longer.  The tears come flooding, the emotions overriding everything else. I don’t even know why, I’m just so confused and overwhelmed.

“Hey...hey...come here”

Tobin wraps her arms around me again and leads me over to the sofa, speaking softly to reassure me, I can’t even hear what she is saying from the sobbing and all the noise inside my head. I feel the comfort of the sofa and Tobin, sinking into the feeling, allowing her to pull me in tighter as she brushes the hair from my face and continues to speak softly to me.

“It’s fine now, I’m here...I’m so sorry Alex!...I’m so glad Clarke found you...You’re safe now... Please don’t worry…Just let it all out, I’ve got you now.”

“Thank you Tobs” I just about rasp out.

“Hey, I have an idea. I know just what you need right now! Be right back…”

With that she bolts out of the room, leaving me confused but also curious. What is she planning? I’ve known her for years and she is always full of surprises, most of which are good, like the time she organised a holiday together last summer. Best holiday ever! I feel a little better after that memory crosses my mind. 

“Here we go...Just what you need!”

Tobin reaches over from behind and presents me with a bowl of ice cream, Ben & Jerry’s of course! My favourite!

“I’m assuming you’re ok with watching Harry Potter? Even though we’ve watched it soooo many times.” 

“Yes! Which one?”   
“Don’t mind...you choose?”

“Hmmmm it’s gotta be Half Blood Prince or Prisoner of Azkaban…”   
“Let’s go with Prisoner of Azkaban? We’ve definitely watched Half Blood Prince at least a few hundred times!”

“Hey! It gets better each time!” I’m passionate about my Harry Potter obsession!

“Nahhhh I swear it gets longer each time!”

“Whatever” I stick my tongue out at her and turn my attention to the ice cream. Tobin was right, this is the best remedy, always the best!

We get settled down, I of course snuggle closer to Tobin, resting my head on her shoulder and sinking into her welcoming embrace. She’s my rock, she always have been, I don’t appreciate what she does enough. I should tell her that, thank her for all that she has done for me, all the times she has been here by my side. 

I open my mouth to speak to her, unfortunately just as the film starts, prompting me to push the idea to the back of my mind and to simply enjoy the moment instead. Tobin continues stroking my hair and caressing my cheek throughout the beginning of the film, making me feel super comfortable and relaxed…

 

I feel tired, exhausted in fact. It's been such a long day! Soccer, party, Servando...urgh I shudder at the thought of his name…

I’m starting to drift off around an hour into the film, it's not that the film is boring, it never is! Just that I can't keep my eyes from closing. There's nothing I can do about it but let it happen, allow myself to drift away.

The next thing I know is that, rather unexpectedly, I start to feel a warm wetness on my neck. I slowly twist my neck around,  seeing luscious golden brown hair filling all my vision. Tobin is kissing me, her warm wet mouth sending electricity surging through my veins. She pulls away and looks into my eyes, causing my brain to short circuit at the sight of those beautiful eyes, so captivating. She lets out that heart melting smile and I can't help but be drawn closer, until our lips meet. We both melt into the kiss, the emotions flowing into it, fuelling our desire for one another, increasing the intensity. All awareness of anything else goes out of my head, simply being replaced by the passionate and somewhat needy kiss. I push her down onto the sofa, straddling her and using the friction to grind down my hips, giving me much needed attention as we both let out moans of pleasure. I can feel the wetness between my legs growing, my desire showing itself so clearly. She grabs my head and unites our lips together again as I continue moving my hips, meeting hers which are thrusting up with the same desire. The intensity and passion are overwhelming as we both increase the intensity, letting out sounds of pleasure...

“ALEX! ALEX HEY! Alexxxx!" 

“Huh?” I wake up, suddenly alert, confused as to my surroundings...Where am I? What just happened?

“The film finished! Oh and you started making strange noises so I wanted to wake you up.” she winks at me and I turn a deep shade of red, she knows! 

“Oh...erm...thanks” I reply timidly, suddenly shy, rightfully so considering the situation. 

“Care to share your dream?” 

“Urgh no! I can't believe I fell asleep! I wanted to watch Harry Potter! Not fair!” I pout at her and she laughs back, amused by my disappointment.

“I’m sure it'll be fine! You've only watched it a million times, I don't think you missed anything big!” She cheekily comments. I move to hit her, but end up losing my balance and falling off the sofa straight onto the annoyingly uncomfortable floor. 

We both burst out laughing, the situation too hilarious to hold it in.

“As spectacular as that was...you probably woke up the people on the floor below! In fact, probably the whole building!” 

“Are you saying I’m too heavy?” 

“Ummmm no! Muscle weighs more than fat anyway!” She pokes me in the stomach, seemingly satisfied with the state of my abs. 

That's it...Time for revenge!

I jump back onto the sofa, landing on top of Tobin and pinning her down underneath me, completely in control of the situation now. 

What she clearly doesn't anticipate next is the tickling. I go to town on her, tickling her where I know all her weak spots are. Giggling the whole time like a little girl, enjoying the dominance over her, it's rare for me to be winning against her! 

“Ok, Ok! I give! You win! Now get off before I share with the others your seemingly enjoyable dream earlier…

I immediately jump off…

“Fine, but you deserved that!”

“Maybe a little...but now that's settled I’d actually quite like to get some sleep tonight!” 

“Oh...what's the time?” 

“Around 2:30 am I think!”

“Whaaaat! Ok fine! Lets go to sleep. It's been a busy day!”

We split off into our own routines, going to the bathroom and getting changed into pj’s, before saying our goodnights and settling down to sleep…

But I can't sleep, I need to tell Tobin the other problem, they don't know the whole picture and I'm not sure what's stopping me...

“I’m sorry Tobs…” My voice is raspier than usual, probably the tiredness and the effects of the alcohol from earlier, still in my system. 

“Why??” 

“I should have told you. You're my best friend and yet I didn't even tell you. I'm so sor….” She cuts me off before I can continue apologising.

“No! You’re not apologising for this! Not now, not ever! Ok?”

“But…”

“Nope. He put you in a position that no person should ever be in. You can't be blamed for being scared of him, for being fearful of speaking out. You’re such an awesome, wonderful person! How someone could treat you any less than the angel you are is beyond me.” 

“Thanks Tobs, you're the best. Really, you are!” I’m surprised by her words, they knock me back in my thoughts and overwhelm all anxiety for the moment.

“Night Alex” 

“Night" 

I can sleep now, I feel better somehow, thanks to Tobins loving words. I relax into the clutches of my dreams, more at ease and optimistic about my situation. 

 

**Clarke pov**

 

The walk to our side of campus is a silent one at first, not uncomfortable, but I guess neither of us knew what to say. I decide to take the initiative...

“Well that happened” 

“Yeah...Fuck I can’t even believe how that pathetic excuse of a human could treat such a wonderful, beautiful girl like a piece of trash! How??”

Lexa has probably been bottling this anger up the whole time that we have been walking back...

“Its beyond me...I would never have expected it, she has seemed so relaxed and focused when we are playing soccer.”

“I think I could tell something has been bothering her, but on this scale? Hell no!” 

We continue to walk in silence as I replay the day in my head. The game. How could I have forgotten the game earlier?? It just shows how much has happened today! 

“Oh...Well played today by the way! You kicked ass out there Lex!” 

“Thanks, you weren't so bad yourself.” she sticks her tongue out at me, apparently mocking me. I really like this side of Lexa, sometimes she can be rough and difficult, but when she is being down to earth and friendly she really is one of my best friends! 

“It was a good warm up game, I think we have the potential to really do well this year!”

“I have to agree with you. Alex is on fire in front of goal, hopefully this situation doesn’t damage her soccer, she doesn’t deserve this” Tobin and I are giving her all the supply she needs and you're dominating the ball in the middle. Not to mention Anya and O, they might be a new partnership, which will show at first, but they are going to be a brick wall back there. Yes, I'd say we have a good chance!”

“Thanks for the full analysis, Lex...but quit trying to be clever, it doesn't suit you!” 

I fail to dodge the retaliating kick as she swivels around. Thanks to the alcohol still inside me I stumble and lose my balance, almost falling face down if it wasn't for Lexa catching me.

“You were saying…?”

“Um...yeah…fine...whatever you say…”

We get back to our dorm and both flop onto our beds, exhausted from the day. Soccer game, lunch with Tobs, party, Servando and maybe, just maybe I can finally sleep! 

With the lights off and both of us lying here, my mind wanders, until I remember that moment at the party, the one with Lexa.

“I never got the chance to ask about the dance earlier…” 

“uh huh?” 

“Why?”

“what do you mean?”

“Why did you dance with me?” 

“Reasons....”

“Oh I get it. You wanted to try to show me up? Make me look stupid?” I go on the attack, frustrated by her lack of real answer. I just want to know why! 

“Fine... I felt bad about how we first met. I judged you wrongly, I thought that by dancing with you, you would see a different side to me, the other Lexa.”

“Oh…” I don't really know how to react, that was completely unexpected…

“You know I am actually human, believe it or not. Not everything I do has a million hidden meanings. 

“Sorry Lex…”

“Who I am on the soccer pitch and who I am with people I consider my friends, are two very different people. It's not what I choose, but rather what makes sense for me and my life.”

“I like the friendly Lexa"

“Well I’ll bear that in mind. No promises princess" 

“Hey! Not fair"

The conversation dies down and we're left in silence for a moment. I’m glad that I’m finally starting to see this ‘new’ Lexa, afterall I am rooming with her for quite some time. When we first met it didn't seem so promising, especially the situation with Anya, but now I can't help but feel a special bond of friendship forming.

“Sweet dreams Lex"

“Night Clarke"  

********

The week passes, classes and training taking up most of my time, the rest being filled by studying with Lexa and various other things. I haven't seen much of Tobin and Alex, other than at training. I've been regularly partnered with Tobin for drills and she seems her normal dorky self, cracking jokes and nutmegging everyone. I love being around her, on the soccer field where we are both in what can be considered our natural habitat. Our synergy on the ball has been developing in leaps and bounds, we always know where the other is and exactly what they will do next. Meanwhile Alex has been extremely distant, it's understandable, but so painful to see. Not that it is stopping her from banging them in, every training. Every time she has the ball it seems to fly into the next with even more accuracy and much greater power than I’ve ever seen from her before. But as soon as training finishes she disappears, as if dissolving into the atmosphere, the same for Tobin too...It's confusing but we all know that it's tough and to give her space and to allow Tobin to do her job. 

“Gameday tomorrow, lets start this campaign running, build on the great result last weekend against St Mary’s. I'm expecting big things from this squad this season, you are all more than capable and I have faith in each one of you. Get well rested and I’ll see you all tomorrow!” 

Cori finishes her debrief and we all disperse, heading off in our various directions. I watch as Alex and Tobs head off, sad to see the situation that Alex still seems to be in but grateful for Tobin, being the awesome caring person that she is.

“Hey Clarke we're going out to the lake this afternoon, you in?” Octavia asks, suddenly at my side. 

“Yeah sure, I just have a bit of homework to do so I don't leave it all for sunday”

“That's cool, it won't be more than a couple of hours as I know you and Lexa are try hards at studying” 

“Hey! Grades matter as well as soccer!”

“At least for you maybe. I'm too good at soccer to need a backup plan” Classic Octavia, brimming with confidence and always the best!

“I have no doubt…”

“Neither do I” she smiles innocently at me and we both crack up laughing, drawing some turned heads from some of the others. 

“So yeah, we'll meet at the gates in half an hour, don't be late!”

“Ok! See you soon!” 

We head off towards our separate dorms to grab a quick shower and drop off our soccer gear. 

It’s a beautiful day today, blue skies and no clouds to be seen anywhere as Lexa and I make our way to meet the others. We’ve been really fitting in well together outside of the soccer field, I couldn’t have asked for a better group of people to fit into, following my big move over here. Even Raven, who doesn’t play with us on the team, still seems to spend all of her spare time with us, outside of blowing stuff up and researching ways to blow stuff up and threatening to blow stuff up etc…

“Yo Clarke, Lexa! Of course you’re the last here!”

“Nice to see you too Raven” Lexa throws back at her, glaring at her while we all contain laughs at the constant bickering between those two. She pulls us both into a hug afterwards though.

“Anyone else coming?” I ask, curious as to whether Alex and Tobin might be joining us, as we haven’t seen them at all this week outside of training and classes. 

“Nope I think that’s everyone! Let’s go!” 

It’s an hour walk to Lake Anza so Anya has volunteered to drive the five of us there. We all rush towards the car, like kids half our age. Getting the front passenger seat is important for not being squashed! Not that it's really up for competition because we all know Lexa will get her say as usual when Anya is around...Octavia draws the short straw and ends up in the middle seat at the back too, unfortunately for her, but much to my relief! 

Just as we’re setting off I hear a shout from across the car park, immediately distinguishing it as Tobin!

“Hey wait up!” she shouts, jogging over towards us.

“Tobs? What’s up?” I’m surprised to see her and worried that something might have happened. 

“Got room for one more?” she asks, grinning from ear to ear.

“NOPE, DEFINITELY NOT!” Octavia shouts from next to me, still mad at having to sit in the middle. 

“Ah okay, well I can drive and meet you guys there?”

“Cool. We’ll see you in a bit” Anya says, before telling Tobin where we’re parking…

“Anya wait!” I say, just as she sets off to leave. “Tobs I’ll go with you?” I decide, both for Octavia's benefit and also because I really want to have some time with her to catch up and see how she is doing, and especially how Alex is doing.

“Ok, but are you sure you consent to me driving?”

“I guess I have no choice…”

“Alright. We’ll meet you guys there! See ya”

They drive off, and we head over to Tobins car, a sporty vw golf, very much a Tobin sort of car, fast, agile and cute. Wait fuck. Whatever….

“How’s things then?” I ask, suddenly feeling a little awkward in the situation, I have barely seen her, the last time properly off the pitch was when we got lunch together almost a week ago.

“Good.”

“Just good?”

“Yeah…”   
“Tobs?” I ask, turning to look at her, she’s a little zoned out and that worries me. She also looks tired, its evident in her usually soft brown eyes. 

“Sorry...I’m just a little worried and stressed at the moment. I still can’t get my head around the situation with Servando.”

“Hey it will be fine. It’s tough, yes, but Alex will come out of it stronger. I’m sure of it! As for you, you can talk to me, you can talk to the others, hell you can even talk to Anya if its that big a problem.”

“Yeah I think I’ll give Anya a miss” She turns to me grinning, looking a little more relaxed after my reassurance.

“So how come you’re here now?”

“Because I have a duty to fulfill as your friend, as painful as that is for me”

“I see how it is...Well maybe I didn’t want you to come hang out with us…”

“Sureeee. So that's why you chose to ride with me?”

“Yeah so I could tell you how much I really can’t stand you and wish you would just leave me alone…”   
“I’ve always been there for you, but if this is how it has to be then so be it!”   
We both look at each other for a second before bursting out laughing. We’re such dorks and I would never change that for the world! 

“What about Alex? Where is she?”

“I think she said that she is going to the gym. She’s been spending all her free time there and it's kinda worrying. And its meaning I have to go more too!”

“Oh right...I really hope she is ok!”

“She’ll manage, maybe for a few weeks she needs some time to herself but don’t worry, I’ve got her.” 

“OK. And seriously, you don’t need to go to the gym more! Look at those calves!!!!”

We both laugh, but I mean it, holy fuck she has crazy calf muscles it isn’t even fair!

We get to the car park and meet up with the others before heading over to the Lake side to chill out and have some fun for the rest of the afternoon. 

Anya, Lexa and Octavia are fighting while Tobs, Raven and I watch on, eating ice cream and laughing at our friends pure childish activity. No I don’t mean they are fighting, like arguing sort of fighting. I mean fighting, like physical who is the more badass sort of egotistic fighting. It's definitely entertaining to watch them each trying to prove to the others that they are strongest and more badass, I’m beginning to wonder if they will ever get bored, or tired. Currently Octavia is on the ground while Anya and Lexa are attempting to pick her up, despite the extreme lashing out of her limbs in all directions. They manage to pick her up and immediately their plan becomes apparent as they head in the direction of the lake...This can never end well!

“Looks like we might finally see the end of this.” Tobin states, clearly feeling the same as me, 10 minutes would have been enough, but 25, really???

“Yeah, those two could have finished this long ago! They’re just stalling to make O feel better, right?”

“Is that even a question? Those two did karate together since they were 7!”

“Is there anything Lexa doesn’t do?”

“Well um...she doesn’t do things badly I guess" 

“Yeahhh I’ve noticed…” 

“I mean, she's cool and all but she isn't quite Raven Reyes level!” Raven jumps into our conversation, in classic Raven style of course! 

“No one is Raven Reyes level. You have to be pretty special!” Tobs comments cheekily.

“Hey!” Raven bursts out before reaching out and hitting Tobin, probably harder than she meant...which results in a rather harsh glare from Tobin…

“Before you two join the three monkeys over there, why don't we try to get them to stop playing and see if we can go for a walk around the lake before we go?” 

“Sounds good!” 

“Of course you agree with Clarke, Tobs" 

“What's that supposed to mean???”

“I second that!” 

“Nothinggggg! Lets go!” 

I look over to Tobin and we make eye contact, I shrug my shoulders and she rolls her eyes at the antics of Raven. 

We hear a scream and a splash, looking over to see Octavia angrily emerging from the shallow water of the lake, Lexa and Anya laughing hysterically at the situation, which we join into. Probably teaches her a lesson for even thinking about taking those two on!

“Yo kids! Clarkie wants to go for a walk, so quit aggressively cuddling each other and let's move…Octavia you had that coming!”

Raven can actually be quite intimidating, very intimidating. Enough to get Anya and Lexa to listen to her! 

“Fine...lets call it a draw then?” Octavia asks, trying to shake the water off of her and jumping up and down to dry out, not that she needs to in this heat. She somehow thinks she had held her ground the whole time however...

“Helllll no!” Lexa and Anya shout back, not accepting it. 

The lake is beautiful at this time, the sun shining through the surrounding trees and reflecting off the perfect blue water, which Octavia knows better than all of us.

We slowly make our way around, making jokes at one another, mainly aimed at Octavia and Raven, and just having fun chatting and messing around.

We make it back to the carpark just before sunset and head off back to campus, happy and relaxed for the big game tomorrow. 

********

It's the opening game of the season, UTAH are the contestants and there is a great atmosphere of anticipation around the Edwards Arena. I'm both excited and nervous as we wait in the home dressing room, awaiting Cori’s team talk before we head out and do battle. 

“Ok team, you know the drill. Seasons are built on wins and we all know how to win, you've all proven it before, let's go out and do just that”

It's a scorching day today, like yesterday, not ideal for soccer but what can you do. We know from the start that we will have to be patient and not work too hard at the beginning to prevent being too tired to game manage the later minutes. 

“Go on losers!!!” I hear Raven shout from the stands, supporting us in typical Raven fashion of course, which receives a number of glares from our teammates.

“You got this Clarke!” Tobin shouts across at me from my left, showing off that trademark smile.

“You too! Don’t go easy on them!” I love watching Tobin play, a hungry Tobin is the best Tobin and when she doesn’t hold back the opposition may as well not even bother trying. 

The shrill sound of the whistle brings us to attention as Alex kicks off the first half of the match, game on! 

The opening stages of the game are very possession based, we are dominating the ball but aren’t managing to get an breakthroughs, much to the frustration of Alex up front and the rest of us failing to give her the supply she thrives on. I know that we need to up the tempo and take the fight to UTAH and decide that it's about time I take responsibility for it since no one else is managing. 

I play a one-two with Lexa, driving forward into the opponent's half, pushing their backline deep into their own half, no more sideways passes. Looking up I can see Lexa making a diagonal run across the defence, not straight down the middle but running from the outside wing towards the centre, making it near impossible for the defenders to organise their marking. I find the gap between the two centre backs, slotting the ball into the path of Lexa with perfect weight, straight into her stride. She takes off towards the keeper, fully concentrated and we all watch on knowing exactly what the outcome will be. She fakes the shot, drawing the keeper to slide along the ground attempting to block the shot, but instead she cooly rounds the goalkeeper, who really didn’t stand a chance, and dinks the ball into the open net in typical Lexa style. 1-0 after 34 minutes of play, finally the breakthrough goal we have been searching for! Lexa turns and runs over to me, jumping into my open arms, knocking me straight off my feet as we tumble clumsily to the floor, laughing hysterically the whole time. I just about manage to congratulate her before we are engulfed by the rest of our teammates.

We sit back and soak up UTAH pressure for the next 10 minutes until halftime, sticking to the game plan that Cori laid out for us before the game. She always plans for every eventuality and makes sure we understand her fully, we know what she wants and how she wants it, it's a great partnership to have between players and coaches. The halftime whistle brings relief to most of us as we welcome the much needed water.The cool refreshing liquid providing exactly the perfect counter to this unstoppable heat. We are allowed time to recover from the intensity before Cori starts her team talk for the second half.

“Really well done ladies. Exactly what I asked for and what we planned for this week. Really good control of the game so far, clever in possession and not too risky but enough to give their team a few scares. Ok, maybe a little more tempo in the second half would be ideal now, just to make sure for when they come out fighting that we make it difficult for them. Anya, we need to push our back line up more for this second half, make them play in their side of the pitch, you know what to do. The rest of you, just keep doing what you have been doing so far, keep working hard and the three points will be ours.”

Cori finishes her talk and comes over to congratulate Lexa and I on our attacking move which created our goal, letting us know how proud she is of the connection that is developing between the two of us out on the pitch.

We all break up into our groups of friends,, chatting and talking about the little details on the pitch. Tobin lets me know that she constantly is being marked by two of the UTAH players, which has been frustrating her all game, hence her quietness so far. I let her know that I’ll try to draw them away when the play of on her left flank of the pitch, which she is grateful. Alongside her letting me know that she will still beat me for assists this season, which we fiercely contest before Lexa comes over and breaks us up.

Lexa thanks me again for the assist, to which I reply the gesture, congratulating her on the coolest of goals.

“You’ve been watching Gerrard again Clarke, haven't you? That through ball had his precision written all over it!” 

She already knows the answer, afterall she is my roommate. 

“You know I love him! He’s the best ever!" 

“You mean Messi, right.” 

Dammit Lexa! I groan internally. Her and Alex with their Barca obsession has been really getting to me recently!! I mean I do love Barca, but Liverpool are my team, my love. 

“Hey not fair!”

“Well anyhow, let’s see more of that style out there, I like it!”

“Thanks Lex, keep kicking ass!”

We start to head back onto the field as a team, ready for the challenge of another 45 minutes in this blistering heat. From the get go we follow Cori’s instruction to press higher up the pitch, pressing the ball but not with too much intensity, to conserve precious energy. The game continues to be a cagey affair, like the first half, however UTAH set out in a much rougher manner. Following through on tackles and biting at ankles in an attempt to break up play and frustrate us. Although probably more because of the heat causing tiredness and clumsy challenges, which on another day would probably not happen. But we're still 1-0 up and it remains that way, despite the current gameplay. 

UTAH win a rather controversial corner in the 70th minute and after the referee has to stop the constant problem of pushing and shirt grabbing the corner comes to nothing and is cleared by a strong header from Anya. Alex retrieves the ball upfield, controlling it down on her chest and looks up, passing the ball back to me as I’m driving up the pitch. I look up and see Tobin, who is still being tightly marked. I run directly at her, skipping past a couple of light attempts to nick the ball off me, using the outside of my right foot to make precise nudges of the ball without losing it from my control. I see Tobin realise my plan and she backs into the defender, who is tight on her. I play it to her feet and she leaves it, allowing it to roll through her legs as it continues on through the defenders legs too. She spins around, leaving the defender thoroughly confused and embarrassed as I peel off and make myself an option on the inside, expecting the return pass, but Tobin has other ideas. She continues down the flank before playing an inch perfect ball along the ground with pace, the ball curving straight into the path of Alex who arrives at the perfect time in the middle of the box to connect to the ball, curving it past the outstretched keeper and into the goal. Signalling a moment of reward for all our hard work and effort during this tough match. Alex doesn’t run off in her aeroplane celebration though, which is unusual, she just hugs Tobin and jogs back into position. 

The game becomes even more scrappy after the second goal, the fatigue showing clearly in both teams. I receive the ball with an opposition midfielder running at me from behind. I trap the ball under my left foot and turn, dragging the ball around with my right, using my body to shield the ball, performing the famous Zidane roulette turn. Just as I’m getting away I feel a sharp pain in the back of my ankle and feel a body hurtle into my legs, bringing me down and not even getting close to the ball. I hear the whistle blow loudly and see a blur of people running towards us, the tears I’m fighting back from the sudden pain impairing my vision. 

“What the fuck was that?!?” I hear Lexa shout, the anger in her voice echoing around in my head as I sit up, taking in the surroundings. The culprit is being pushed back by a furious Lexa, before being pulled back by Anya, trying to stop Lexa from doing something stupid. Lexa is still screaming furiously but is restrained by the rest of our team while Anya goes over to the referee to sort out  the situation. 

“Clarke are you ok??”

“I hear the raspy voice of Alex next to me, as she stands over me, a concerned expression written all over her face. Probably the first time she has properly spoken to me since last weekend.

“It really fucking hurts. What happened?” 

“Their player wasn't happy with you getting away so they lunged after you and didn't even come close to the ball. You know the rest.”

“Stupid idiot! That was so unnecessary!” Tobin joins in, before they both offer to help me up, offering me support as I try to walk a few steps forward.

Pain flows through my body, my right ankle giving way to the pain. Luckily Tobs and Alex have got me and they carry me over to the touchline to get me medical help from our coaches. 

I look over to see a red card being shown to the UTAH midfielder and a moment later a yellow is shown to Lexa, presumably for her reaction to the challenge. It was strange seeing her being so protective over me, I didn’t think she cared that much.

“I've never seen Lexa do anything like that on the pitch. She is always the coolest player but that was really incredible.” Tobin states, her eyes following Lexa, who is jogging back to position, as if nothing had happened, back to her usual commanding self. Alex and Tobs reluctantly leave me to the medical team and get back to the field, the rest of the game continuing after we sub on a replacement for me. 

Dave, our team doctor removes my boot carefully and sets about cutting my sock off, not wanting to provoke the wound caused by the studs from the boot. He cleans the blood from the area and I can see the extent of the wound, luckily it isn't too deep but he lets me know that we will need to test for any sort of sprain and ligament damage from the twisting of my ankle between the players feet. 

Meanwhile from watching the game I can see that the final segment is lacklustre, neither team really going at it. Eventually the full time whistle blows and the look of relief on all the players is evident. It was a tough season opener, but thankfully a win, 3 points on the table and definitely something to build on. However I'm incredibly worried about my injury, I really hope it isn't long term, but with soccer you never know what could happen...


	6. A revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post match injury analysis...  
> Some Raven trolling  
> Soccer tactics with Cori (Sorry to those who aren't as interested in this aspect of the fic. I'm trying to get a good balance!!)  
> A revelation for Clarke!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I'll keep it brief but this is kinda important!  
> 1) First exam tomorrow! (Wednesday) Wish me luck lol! Which means maybe no upload for a couple of weeks (I finish on the 19th) Sorry!  
> 2) IMPORTANT: I am looking for someone to read through chapters before I post and maybe to help with some elements of plot. Preferably someone who knows the USWNT well because I am slightly lacking here and may need help in the future with this part!!!  
> So if you are interested drop a comment or even better send me a message on Facebook (link below)  
> Also if anyone wants to just chat soccer or about this fic or clexa; feel free to add me on Facebook and drop me a message letting me know you are from here so I don't just ignore ahah  
> https://www.facebook.com/mattesmith99  
> THANK YOU FOR READING MY FIC- Special thanks to those who comment and give awesome support! Love you all! <3

Following a post match scan the news is better than expected but still not great unfortunately. There is a small ankle ligament tear, not from the impacts of the boots but the follow through of the tackle, where my leg was caught between the players feet, twisting my ankle under their weight. I'm stuck between being really mad about the necessity of the injury and relieved it's not as bad as it could've been. 

Dave lets me know that with proper rehab and strengthening we are looking at a 4 week recovery minimum which really sucks but still only puts me out for a month of the whole soccer season. The physiotherapy department here are well renowned so I knows I’m in good hands. 

“Ok that's all we can do for now. I’ll be checking in on you regularly to monitor your recovery, so expect to hear from me soon. Just don't do anything reckless, you need to rest and recover if you want to be back as soon as possible.”

“Thanks Dave, you’re the best!” 

“No problem, it's my job! Now go relax and NO soccer, ok?”

“Got it! Bye!” 

“See you.” 

I exit the medical room and am immediately engulfed by Tobin, followed by Alex and Lexa.

“Clarkkkkke!!!” 

“You guys waited for me??” I’m shocked that are here as I've been in there for a while now, but it just makes me realise how close of a tight knit group we now are.  

“Of course we waited! What's the news? You better be ok to play!” 

“4 weeks unfortunately.” I just about manage to speak out, tears suddenly threatening to spill, but I hold them back. 

“Oh shit really? Tobin asks, shocked at the news.

“That fucking idi….” Lexa starts before being interrupted by Tobin...

“Lexa chill! There is nothing we can do now.”

“Still! It was so dumb, what the hell were they thinking??? 4 weeks of no soccer is fucking dreadful!”

“Lex it's fine…” I try to calm her, surprised by the outbursts, definitely not the cool and collected Lexa we all know. She is acting very unusual, but equally I appreciate her concern for my well being” 

“I’ll recover and come back stronger. I’ll still beat Tobs for assists this season even with 4 weeks out!” I joke, earling a glare and a poke from Tobin, who immediately disagrees. 

“Well if you keep up your form from these two games who knows" Alex enters the conversation, speaking for the first time. 

“Talking about form, 4 goals in two games is pretty good going!” I reply, offering a big smile to alex, who hesitates but thanks me for the comment, returning the gesture timidly. 

I’m blindly following the group on my newly acquired crutches, not really thinking about where we're going. However when I see the Taco Bell that were heading towards it dawns on my just how hungry I am after the match and all the medical checks. 

“Are you guys for real? I ask the girls, grateful for the surprise dinner.

“Yep!” Raven shouts, appearing out of thin air behind us, almost making me fall over from fright! Which would not have been good!!! 

“Raven! Jeez you almost got me in even more of a problem!”

“I’m just happy to see my favourite fellow crutch wielding badass girl! How's the injury? I wasn't really filled in much about it, thanks to Octavia being more bothered about her clean sheet!”

“Hey! I’m right here dumbass!” Octavia replies back, feigning a kick which has Raven suddenly scared for a moment. 

“Ok, ok. Lets just go get food.” Lexa takes over, as usual, being the sensible one in the group (most the time). 

“Agreed!” we all say, before rushing into the restaurant, causing a number of heads to turn in our direction. Oops. 

By the time our food arrives we have already established ourselves as the noisiest in the restaurant. These guys are seriously the best! They each bring something different...Raven is the loud and banterous one, Lex is always the commanding one, O is the overconfident take on the world kinda girl, Tobs is as cool as a cucumber, Alex is the kindest and most caring, Anya is the don't fucking mess kinda girl. I guess I’m the blonde one lol. As shown by my ability to trip over the carpet on the way to the toilet, after Lexa said I look cute today. Seriously I am adamant that someone stuck out a leg or something!! Or was it what she said?? That gets my mind going…

“Clarke!!” 

“Huh?” I’m interrupted from my thoughts by the loud voice of Raven, bringing me back to reality.

“I was asking you what your plans are now that you can't play soccer for a while?” 

“Oh, well I haven't really thought about it, I don't really know….ermm….”

“You should go to the gym loads, get some abs to rival Lexa, ya know" Octavia comments, earning a wink from Lexa and a glare from me. 

“I might actually ask Cori if I can shadow her, get some coaching experience under my belt”

“That's a great idea!” Tobin says, going for a high five…”Then you get to spend more time with my sexy ass!” 

“That's funny because you really aren't the sexiest here" Octavia replies, challenging Tobin.

“Oh yeah...and who is…?”

“Um me, obviously, maybe Raven comes a close second.”

“Hey I’m definitely first!!!” Raven shouts, joining in the pointless argument.

“Never! You are too clever to be sexy" 

“Hey! Since when is that a rule???” 

“I just made it, and it is final.” 

“Seriously you guys?? You can't even go five minutes without bickering! Yes you’re both sexy, but actually Clarke wins, end of argument.” Lexa takes over the situation, in her usual commanding style. Wait did she just say I’m sexy? Hold on now...what? Raven beats me to it however. 

“Ooohhh watch out Clarke! Looks like Lexa here has a little crush on youuuu" 

“Shut up Raven! No I don’t!!! You’re such a child.” We all laugh at the truth in that final comment, even Raven, who probably agrees with it too. 

I notice that Tobin and Alex are being rather quiet, understandably with Alex, but Tobin isn't usually like this. They keep stealing glances at once another, amidst the frenzy of the others and their constant bickering. 

“Are you going to finish that food, Raven?” Lexa asks, clearly anticipating the possibility of receiving more food. I don’t know how she does it and manages to stay in shape so well! Yep it's confirmed, she must have some sort of superpower! 

“Hell no are you gonna have my tacos How could you even think that? Huh?” 

“I doubt you'll finish them anyway. In fact how about a bet…”  Lexa asks Raven, in a very cocky manner...

“Oh shit" Tobin mutters under her breathe, the first I’ve really heard of her.

“I bet you couldn't finish that Taco with Diablo sauce on it…” Lexa states, knowing full well that Raven could never turn down a bet. 

“What's diablo sauce? I bet it's mild as fuck!” Raven replies, grinning from ear to ear.

“Ok then...You finish it and I'll let you post any photo on my phone onto my instagram. Deal?” 

“Deal!” Raven shouts, not even thinking about any possible failure. 

Lexa attracts the attention of a nearby waiter and asks for this special sauce. It must be new as I’ve never heard of it before. 

“Here you go madam, enjoy.” the waiter says, before handing a bottle of sauce over to Lexa. She sets about distributing the contents on Ravens food, who sits there the whole time grinning. 

“Ok, all yours!” Lexa leans back and settles into her seat, turning to me and giving me a wink. She's clearly up to something…

Raven takes a few bites and looks up, laughing at Lexa.

“This sauce is delicious! The flavour is sooo good! Omg wow! I don't understand what the challenge is?”

Lexa continues to sit there, with a relaxed expression on her face, not acting like her phone is about to end up in the hands of Raven. 

After around 15 seconds, having had a good few mouthfuls of good Raven looks up, suddenly, with a very uncomfortable expression on her face…

“WHAT THE….WHAT THE FUCK!!!” She glares at Lexa, who now is laughing uncontrollably at the expense of poor Raven, who has just met the hottest sauce Taco Bell has to offer, which Lexa proudly announces, much to Ravens despair…

“Ahhhh FUCK YOU Lexa!!! You’re so dead for this!!! Just you wait!”

“I’m waiting" Lexa replies smugly, anticipating her imminent victory, however Raven has other ideas.

“Unfortunately for you, you messed with the wrong Latina! You and your stupid sauce are going down big time!” 

With that, Raven sets about finishing the remainder of her food, with a pained expression on her face but with complete bravery and stubbornness. Then finally the look of victory, as she swallows the last mouthful. 

“Ha! I win, you looooose"

We are all stunned into silence by Ravens display. All eyes are on Lexa as she reaches to her pocket and unlocks her phone, handing it to Raven…

“A bet is a bet. I'll delete the photo after a week if I don't want it on any longer, but fair enough. You've proven yourself!” 

Octavia peers over Ravens shoulder, looking through Lexa’s photo gallery together to pick the perfect photo…

“Well that was unexpected" Lexa mutters to Tobin Alex and I. 

“To be fair, no one expected Raven to actually manage that. Like seriously how the fuck??” Tobin replies, although she is still grinning from the outcome of the bet. 

“Well now we know not to mess with Raven I guess.” I comment, laughing at the pained look on Lexa’s face. “All this just because you called me sexy!” I continue, earning a wicked glare from lexa...

“That wasn't what I…”

“Yes it was! Don't lie!”

“Nope!”

“Yep"

“Nope"

“Double yep" 

“Hey that doesn't count!” 

“Oh yeah?? Well see if I care…” I fold my arms and pout at Lexa, getting a returned look from her as Alex and Tobin watch on between us, turning and smiling to each other.

“Ok we're done! Here's your phone Lex.” Raven hands the phone back, a smug and victorious grin on her face. Lexa must be really nervous to see the damage…

She looks over her phone before her jaw drops, signalling her ultimate defeat at the hands of Raven.

“You bitch...I will get you for this!! You don’t know when, but someday I will get you back!” 

“What did she post Lex?” 

“Look…”

She passes me the phone and I rest my eyes on the Real Madrid logo, with the caption ‘My new favourite things’ 

Well that is going to hurt her pride significantly as a Barca supporter! I know just how much she hates Madrid from the countless all night rants in our dorm, after their matches.

I scroll to the second photo and my heart stops beating for what feels like an hour, in reality it's only a couple of seconds, in which I process what I’m seeing. 

“Um...Lexa…? Where did you get this photo from??” 

“Huh? What photo?”

“The other one that those two assholes posted!” 

“Wait there is another photo?!?!”

“yes…” She grabs her phone back, out of my hands, just as I’m saying yes.

“RAVEN!!!!! You fucking…..” She stops herself and looks around, hoping there are no young children around to hear her finish her sentence, unfortunately there are and she ducks down, suddenly embarrassed at the dirty looks from some parents. 

“You can't make me keep this photo here! It's not fair!”

“Nope. As you said, a bet is a bet!”

“Urghhhh. I'm going to shove one of your stupid rockets where the sun don't shine…” Lexa threatens, before turning to me…

“Clarke. Come outside with me please. I need to let off some steam…”

I think about it for a moment considering my options, but decide to follow her. 

As we part from the group I hear them immediately burst into laughter, even Alex is having a hard time trying to suppress her laugh before she gives in. 

“Clarle...I….”

“Lexa it's fine, honestly. I was just surprised you even have that photo of me!”  

“It was on your instagram, which I may or may not have stalked at some point that last couple of weeks…” She says, with a guilty, caught red handed sort of expression on her face. As if pleading for me to understand.

“It's fine! I love that bikini too! If I posted it then everyone will have seen it anyway!” 

“True! But the caption! Oh God! People are going to think…”

“That it’s a joke!? After the first photo no one will be stupid enough to think that the second is true!” 

“I guess! Urgh I’m so mad! Raven is so annoying!”

“You did play a risky game! You knew the potential consequences! Now you know not to mess with her!” Lexa seems calmer now, having ranted a little to let off some steam. I can tell she is still a little pissed off but its cool. 

“Ok...I’ll just have to get her back!” 

“I'll help you! Dream team vs Raven. Bring it on!” We high five before heading back inside.

“Hey we all know I’m your favourite anyway, it's no biggie” I wink at her as we are entering the restaurant again.

Lexa remains silent but lets out a cheeky grin in my direction before we join the others. 

 

The rest of the time together passes rather uneventfully, which is no hard feat for our group… Not too long after the ‘incident’ we head off back to campus. How much I love being on crutches. Not. 

********

“You wanted to see me Clarke? I assume it's about your injury?” Cori asks me, as I enter her office the next day having scheduled a meeting.

“Yeah. I wanted to ask what I can do to help while I'm unable to play?”

“You just need to focus on recovery, Clarke. That is the best you can do.” 

“But what about all the time I would be training? I won't be spending all my time in the gym  at least not at first while it heals.”

“What are you getting at?” she asks, slightly taken aback by my assertiveness.

“Sorry, what I meant to ask is, can I work alongside you? It would be great to shadow you and get some coaching experience.” 

“Wow...Ok...I didn't expect such a request. This is a first…” She hesitates, eying me over, as if examining me as to whether I’m fit for the job or not.

“No one has ever thought of this while injured before in all my years here! Sure. It seems like a good idea. Join me 20 minutes before training tomorrow and we will get started. I still expect you to be doing the full rehab and gym hours through.”

“Of course! I want to be back playing as soon as possible. I just wanted something productive to do. Thank you so much!” I smile at her and turn to leave.

“You better get back playing asap. We are going to need you a lot this season I feel. I couldn't have expected a better start from you, especially after such a big change in your life. But you've overcome it and up until that disgusting foul you have fitted in perfectly”

Thanks Cori, that means alot to me.” 

“You're welcome, keep it up Clarke. See you tomorrow. Take it easy, ok?”

“Will do, thanks! See ya.”

********

The rest of the day passes and before I know it, I’m being woken up by the relentless sound of my alarm, which is followed by the sound of Lexa groaning and then the sudden impact of a pillow in my face. 

“Lexa! What the hell????” The impact immediately wakes me up, thankfully, but not in the way I would have wanted to properly wake up!   
“You set your alarm too early!”

“I have to be at training early to see Cori!”

“Urgh why do you have to be soooo difficult” She stretches out the ‘o’ in such a cute way that I completely forget what she said for a moment. 

“I’m going for a shower.”

“Suit yourself, I’m going back to sleep, no thanks to you.”

“Your welcome” I give her a smug smile and  head off to the bathroom, leaving Lexa to her beauty sleep. 

After the shower I finish drying myself and get changed into the clothes I brought in with me, before exiting the bathroom.

I'm stopped dead in my tracks by the sight of a completely naked Lexa, with her back to me, bending over to pick up some shorts off the floor. 

I'm so mesmerized by her flawless figure and by the sheer beauty of her that my hands suddenly decide to forget how to grip. The bottle I was holding clatters to the floor as Lexa whips around, startled and embarrassed. 

“Oh my God I’m so sorry!!! I…” I quickly turn away from her, allowing her to continue getting changed, while I’m apologising but I don’t know how to continue.

“Clarke!!! Fuck I didn't hear you finish!” 

“Ahhh I didn't expect you to be up and about…”

“Well I...um...couldn't sleep anymore so I made the decision to get up and changed while you were in the shower. “

What I didn't know was that the reason she couldn't sleep was because of her catching sight of me in my shorts and tank top, on my way to the bathroom.

“Right well...erm...breakfast?” 

“Sure, just let me rewind time first though please!”

We laugh it off and go down to the cafeteria to grab some light breakfast before training.

 

It's weird how much difference 20 minutes can make in the morning because it's so much quieter than it is at our usual wake up time. There are only a few other people around, one of which happens to be Anya, which is confusing considering I thought she had her own place. 

Having chosen our food Lexa leads us over to her, she seems rather confused as well. 

“Anya?” 

“Hi Lex!” She gets up and hugs Lexa briefly, something I never really see from Lexa, or Anya for that matter. Anya, being family, does seem to have that connection with her like no one else.

“Hey Clarke"

“Hi" I timidly reply, still not 100% confident when around her.

“So how come you're over here? Did you burn your house down or something?” Lexa suggests, bringing a small laugh out of Anya, as I watch the conversation unfold.

“No, actually. I came here because Cori told me about your plan, Clarke, so I figured you would be here earlier than normal. I wanted to catch you before training to let you know how awesome that is, how dedicated it shows you are.” 

“Thanks Anya, I love soccer and I simply wouldn't manage being unable to play and completely isolated for a number of weeks “

“Well you have my full support. Anything you need while you're helping out just ask. I’ve got your back!” 

“Thanks, that means a lot.” She's just rocketed up the list. I'm grateful to have her support. 

“Also, I wanted to let you know that the player who was sent off has been banned for an additional three games on top of the original Ptwo. It was disgusting. Tired legs and hot weather aside, it was unacceptable.” 

“Good. They deserved it. I can't believe I’m out injured already, after only one game.” 

“I know how it feels being injured. The game after being called up to the U20’s national team camp, I tore my ACL. It took me 9 months of hard work after the operation to get back to full fitness, even now every now and then I feel something. But trust me, keep focused on coming back stronger and I have no doubt you will. You're the most promising player I have ever seen on this team.” 

She earns a glare from Lexa for that…

“Ok...joint with Lex. You're both different players, you compliment each other well. Like with Alex and Tobin.”

“Awh thanks Anya, you're just too nice to me" Lexa replies sarcastically, bringing out a laugh from me and then she suddenly yelps as I assume Anya kicked her under the table.

“Right that's clearly enough for now. I’ll see you two lovelies later! Bye!” she winks and leaves the table, exiting the cafeteria and leaving Lexa and I to finish our breakfast. 

I'm liking Anya a lot more now after this gesture, it means a lot to me, especially knowing her own journey through injury and struggle to where she is now. 

Lexa and I make small talk for a few minutes before also leaving to get ready for training. 

********

Lexa decides she wants to go early with me, she said something about practicing some free kicks before training, which seems fair. 

We make it down to the soccer pitches and Cori is there, setting up some drill exercises already. 

“Clarke! Thanks for coming. Lexa?” 

“I was just going to take some practice shots before training, since Clarke was coming here early. If you don't mind?”

“Not at all. Do what you need.” She smiles and Lexa walks off with a few of the soccer balls from the bags. 

“So Clarke...I guess I’ll just talk you through what I do, why I do it and all that.”

“Sounds good.” 

“So because we had a game on saturday and then sunday off I had a day to analyse our next opponent, so I already have in mind some drills that will help us with what our game plan will be. Due to the no training day yesterday we will start with some light exercises to warm up those tired muscles and do some ball working drills to get back into the swing of things.”

I notice Lexa in the background absolutely smash a ball into the upper right corner, with perfect power and precision. Not even having to compromise between the two!

“Clarke? Are you even listening?” She stops setting out cones and gìves me a firm look, her hands resting on her hips. 

“Oh um sorry, Lexa…”

“Is not your priority right now. 

“Sorry.”

“That's fine. As I was saying...San Francisco have been lining up with a three back for most of this season, in a 3-4-3 formation. Which has both advantages and disadvantages for us. They will try to dominate the midfield and will use their wing-backs to push up and put pressure on us with crosses. It also allows their wingers to drift inside much more due to their wing backs.”

“But doesn't that leave space in behind?” I ask, beginning to grasp what she might be getting at.

“Exactly. It's a shame you are injured because the midfield is going to be essential this game. I plan to use our more defensive midfielders to drop deep and man-mark their wingers and focus on winning the ball derp and counter attacking with pace.”

“We know Lexa and Tobin can run for days on the wings?”

“Yes, but actually Tobin is going to move deeper into midfield, which she has done before on occasion, so she can be there to quickstart counter attacks. Alex loves taking on long balls and through passes so that makes this work perfectly if we stick to the plan.” 

“I think I get it…” 

“Good. I simplified it a bit to give you the summary. There is actually a lot more in terms of our team shape, but that is for another time.” 

“Right…”

“So today we work on quick passing, with the idea of winning the ball back and advancing up the pitch with pace. Defenders will be working on dealing with crosses and helping our midfield to win second balls.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to oversee our passing drills, let me know what you notice, what you think we can improve, anything that stands out really. I trust you can do it. You have a footballing brain after all!” 

“I’ll give it my best shot.”

“Great! I’ll be here the whole time and I’ll check on you regularly. But I also want this to be individual for you, to give you the experience for yourself.”

“Thanks. This is really cool!” 

We finish setting up drills just as the rest of the team is arriving and Lexa finishes showing off. At least I think that was the real reason behind her coming here early. 

 

The training session is a good one, I surprise myself by noticing some patterns and weaknesses in the passing play, relaying them to Cori. It's around the half point of training that the best moment happens. I'm stood with lexa, during the drinks break having a great time chatting and laughing about various things, when Lexa points out Octavia and tells me to “watch this”...

Octavia is bent down tying her laces, presenting Lexa with the perfect opportunity for revenge, for the instagram photos that she no doubt helped Raven with. 

Lexa lines up the football, considering Octavia is around 20 yards away I’m not too optimistic, but this is Lexa afterall…

She lets fly and the ball travels the full distance, slamming into Octavia’s backside causing her to jump up in pain and cry out many explicatives. Lexa and I burst out laughing, alongside most of the others, who work out what happened. 

Octavia glares angrily at us, making the whole scene even funnier, before rubbing her probably very sore butt and flipping Lexa the bird. 

“She definitely deserved that" Lexa states, while still finding it hard not to continue laughing.

“It was a little harsh…”

“Nah. She'll get over it.” 

“LEXA!” Cori shouts from the pitch side, having heard the commotion from everyone, and probably Octavia’s cry too.

“Shit" Lexa mutters under her breathe

“Shit indeed…” Cori replies having somehow heard Leza from all the way over there. 

“5 laps around the field. Off you go.”

“For fucks sake.” Lexa complains before setting off. 

I turn to see a very smug look on Octavia’s face, but I can't help but think that Lexa definitely came off better from this...considering Octavia is still rubbing her butt from the impact of the ball

********

The week passes and game day arrives. The team spirit is brilliant and apart from me missing out everyone is raring to go and continue our winning streak. Cori has asked me to be on the touchline with her, rather than in the stands with Raven, as I had initially planned. It definitely won't be the same as being on the pitch, in fact it hurts having to watch the team playing, knowing I can't, but it's something. 

Working alongside Cori has already been more than useful, her knowledge of the game is impeccable and she has always been great at communicating that to us. 

 

The game kicks off and we slip into our 4231 formation, seeking to nullify their formation with our defensive midfielders filling in the gaps. I notice just how perfect Cori’s game plan is from the start. Their wing backs are struggling, unable to push high like they would have wanted, due to the threat of Steph, who is making her first appearance, and Lexa exploiting the space in behind on the wings. Tobin is floating around ahead of our defensive midfielders, looking to receive the ball on the counter, but also dropping deep to help if needed. Tobin looks amazing on the pitch, she is so cool and calculating and by far the most skillful player on both teams. Ok, maybe Lexa, but they are different. Lexa is dominant and confident, her ability to read situations and her ability both on and off the ball make her our most valuable player, and probably the scariest to defend against. Tobin has an unpredictability, you never know what she will do, but it will definitely be awesome, that's what I love about her. Amongst many things actually, she is frickin awesome and I wish I could be out there with her. 

Tobin collects the ball following a clearance from Anya and touches it down perfectly from the air, then drives into the retreating defence of our opposition. She looks up and see’s Alex making a run between two of the three centre backs. Not many players would decide to play this ball, but Tobin has it in her locker. She curves the ball with pace through the gap created, the ball passing flawlessly through, with neither defender able to intercept it. Alex runs onto the ball and hits it first time with power across the keeper, into the top right corner, making the score 1-0 after 7 minutes of play. 

The game is easy from then onwards, our system working perfectly to prevent San Francisco from playing how they wanted to. They can't seem to muster any sort of threatening attack, meanwhile our rapid transitions from defence to counter are working a treat. 

Alessa, one of our defensive midfielders, is continuously tracking their wingers every time they cut inside. She has already made a number of great interceptions and tackles. 10 minutes after the first goal she steps across and wins the ball before looking up and playing it to Lexa on the right. 

Lexa makes a couple of step overs and feigns before faking a pass and instead knocking the ball past the wing back, using her sheer pace to beat the defender easily. She drives down the wing, leaving the defence far behind, before looking up to see Alex running into the box. However she is too tightly marked and so Lexa fakes the cross, fooling the defender into turning their back to block it and runs towards the byline. She sees the keeper looking to stop the square ball and notices the gap at the front post, so she decides to kick the ball hard with the outside of her right foot, smashing it past the unexpecting keeper and into the back of the net. 2-0!

The half ends and we congratulate the players. I slowly make my way over to Tobs (thanks crutches) and give her a high five, gushing about how amazing she was on the pitch, especially that assist to Alex! 

“Tobin!!!” Alex shouts, suddenly appearing and jumping into her arms, taking us by surprise.

“Alex! Great goal! I knew you would score that, you always do! Tobs tells her, putting her back down and patting her back. 

“It wasn't as cool as that through pass! You basically put it on a plate!” Alex replies, ecstatic at how the game has gone so far. 

“You have both been great to watch.” I comment, earning a grin from them both.

“I’m sorry you can't play Clarke, I have no doubt we would be at least 4 up if you were playing!” Alex jokes, while Tobin eyes me cheekily.

“Hey it just means that I am guaranteed the most assists this season, again.” Tobin says, poking her tongue out at me, teasing me because she totally thinks she is the better player. 

“We'll see" I answer, smirking at her, before letting them go to the team huddle to talk tactics for the second half. 

The second half ends up much like the first, with Alex scoring her second in the 60th minute, with a brutal header from a corner flying into the back of the net. 

Tobin has the ball on the edge of the box, faced by a defender. She uses her trademark flip-flap skill move, making the defender fall over from trying to change direction, what most fans call an ankle breaker. The defender, out of humiliation, sticks out a flailing and trips her over cynically, conceding a foul in a dangerous location. 

Tobin gets up and tests her legs, looking fine to carry on, it was just a little clip but enough to bring her down and to earn the defender a yellow card. 

Lexa jogs over and picks up the ball, our team leaving it to her, knowing that this is her territory. She sets it down, positioning it carefully on the pitch, making sure the ground is level around it. 

I watch on, with full confidence in my roomie, willing her to get the goal to round the game off. She takes a few steps back and relaxes her breathing. The whistle blows and she runs up to the ball. She kicks it with precision and power, just like in training every day, when she practices free kicks alone before or after. The ball curves over the wall, just clearing the jumping players, before dipping down and into the back of the net, giving the keeper no chance and fulfilling our expectations. 

What I don't expect next is for her to point towards our bench, before running over and engulfing me in a big hug. I'm completely taken by surprise but I love it! The rest of our team joins suit but Lexa pulls away, making sure that I’m out of the way for them so I don't fall over! She gives me a wink before heading back onto the pitch with the rest of the team. Honestly, I’m running out of superlatives to describe how awesome she is!! 

A short amount of time later the final whistle is blown, ending the game with a resounding and emphatic victory for our Cali Bears. So much so that San Fransisco didn’t even register a shot on target all game, which is simply testament to Cori’s genius and also to the incredible hard work of our team. 

We all set about shaking hands with the other teams player, chatting and congratulating one another on our team. Pretty much everyone on our team hugs me and tells me that they wished I could play, which means a lot, especially from Lexa, who seems to be a completely different person this last week or so. Apparently my motivational shouting from the touchline, alongside Cori was a real boost to our performance, at least that’s what I’m told. To be honest I was just too into the game to even realize I had been shouting and instructing the players, which I’m sure Cori will bring up at some point. I didn’t mean to! Lol.

After they have had their showers and ice baths I reunite with our group, discussing plans for later this afternoon and evening. Apparently there will be a party at one of our senior players houses, however I let the team know that I won’t feel comfortable being around on crutches, which brings a few complaints, but most of our team know what I’m going through. 

As we are heading off to our dorms Lexa joins up alongside my snail paced journey, splitting off from the main group as she must have noticed me going alone. 

“Hey Clarke, are you ok?”   
“Yeah I’m fine, just feeling a little frustrated at missing out on everything. It’s not fair!”

“Well...How about we go watch a movie tonight? I don’t feel like going to a party and I don’t want you to be alone!” I’m taken aback by the request but it fills my heart with so much warmth at the kind gesture from Lex. 

“Oh yes that would be awesome! Thanks so much Lexa!”

“Its cool. I’m sure they won’t miss us too much!” We laugh and continue heading off to our dorm. I’m suddenly feeling rejuvenated from the love shown by Lexa, to take time away from her best friends in order to be with me this evening, while they are out partying and having a great time. I’m getting a good feeling that a strong friendship is building between us, something that from my first day I could never have imagined. I really fucking love soccer, where would I be without it! Well I wouldn’t have a crazy, badass but equally beautiful girl looking out for me. Ok maybe I would. But they wouldn’t be Lexa! I realise at this point that I might actually have feelings for her, like I have never experienced anything like this before with someone. Not even at home in Australia with Finn, or Bellamy for that brief moment in time where we both tried and failed to get together because of the pressure of our friends. Fuck are these thoughts real? I don’t even know. But what I do know is that it isn’t all that bad! Lexa is awesome and beautiful and if she really cares about me so much then she is perfect.

“Clarke??”

“Yep?”

“Are you ok, really? You really zoned out on me there?”

I look up and across at her, taking in the deep green of her eyes, the beautiful light of them bouncing off and capturing me. 

“Yes” I reply, smiling at her with pure realisation. 

“I’m great actually”


	7. Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TALEX CHAPTER - NO CLEXA  
> Things happen, mostly good.  
> See how Alex deals with the aftermath of Servandos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT - THIS CHAPTER IS TALEX  
> There will be no clexa this chapter, however the next chapter will be focused on how Clarke and Lexa are getting on. 
> 
> This chapter has been uploaded in a tent, in the middle of a field in the middle of nowhere. Really really hoping the formatting isn't messed up!!! 
> 
> Love you all!!! Thanks for all the wonderful support <3

**ALEX POV (After Servando's party)**

Anya kindly offered to move my belongings out of Servando’s house over the next few days, which I am truly grateful for. I don't think I can go back there ever again. But I think she genuinely makes him scared, I mean Anya is not someone you would mess with, she has this sort of aura around her that screams ‘I will kick your ass without you even landing one on me.’

After spending some time with Tobin, staying up late while she gave me food and Harry Potter, we finally go to sleep, exhausted and finished with the day.

I decided not to set an alarm last night, giving myself a nice lie in instead, which would have been great had I managed to get any sleep at all last night. The same thoughts just kept whirling around in my head...Why after all these years? What did I do wrong? Am I not good enough? What’s next?

“Alex?” Tobin whispers, sounding hopeful I’m awake, but also trying not to wake me if I am actually asleep.

“Yeah?” I softly reply, keeping my eyes closed, still trying to catch even a tiny bit of sleep.

“I’m going out for a run, I’ll be back in a bit.” It must be morning then. I haven't even looked at the time, I don't want to remind myself how long I’ve been lying here.

“Hey, did you sleep at all?”

“Nope. I can't…”

“Oh. I'm sorry. Well you can take it easy today, no need to do anything at all. Just rest.” I can picture her reassuring smile in my head, without even needing to look up and see if it's there. What did I do to deserve such a caring and loving friend?

“Ok. Bye”

“Sweet dreams" With that the door closes and I’m now all alone.

Somehow, God knows how, I manage to finally catch some sleep. The precious minutes providing me with exactly what I've needed but haven't been able to get.

I'm woken by the sound of my ringtone, which I really don't want to answer, but I know I have to. I pick it up and see that it is my mom, which completely takes me by surprise. She barely ever has time to call me, with her busy working life. Not that it takes away from the fact that she has always been there for me when I do need her and that she is the main reason I have made it this far in soccer. I accept the call and am immediately blessed by her voice.

“Alex?”

“Hi mom! What’s up? This is unexpected!”

“Hey! Is a mother not allowed to call her daughter whenever she wants to?”

“Nooo I didn't mean it like that!”

“I know sweetie. Just messing with you! How's soccer going?”

“Amazing! I'm scoring every game so I couldn't be happier! And our team is really clicking this year, probably a lot to do with our new defender and our new midfield star.”

“That's great! I knew you could make it this year, your ACL injury last year simply delayed the inevitable.”

“Thanks mom, I really appreciate your support, love you!”

“I love you too Alex. However I didn't really call you to talk soccer, that's your dad's job!”

“Oh ok...Why did you call then?”

I'm a little bit confused, obviously I would need to tell her what happened last night...somehow...But surely she doesn't know yet. She can't possibly have found out?!? It must be about something else, right?

“Well...I received a call very late last night from Tobin, of all people. Which I would have been mad about due to the time, but she was very insistent. She knows you better than us I think! Anyway...what happened last night?”

She is using the concerned parent voice, the one that means some possible asskicking for anyone who hurts their daughter.

“Well...um…” My voice cracks and I can't bring myself to explain…

“Ok deep breaths Alex, you're alright. I love you whatever happens.” I can feel the love and support of her words, which reminds me just how amazing my mom truly is.

“He...I...Servando...he...?”

“Did he cheat on you??” A serious expression of anger in her voice suddenly breaks out on the other side of the phone.

“No...He didn't…”

“Good. I don't have to send your sisters after him then?” The thought of my sisters, Jeri and Jeni, brings a small smile to my face.

“Well actually. Urgh its hard to explain.” I suddenly find courage from somewhere within me …”I don't know what I've been doing wrong, I've only ever loved him and put him first every time. But the last couple of months he seems to have been fading away. Like he no longer cared, like I wasn't worth the effort. Maybe he got bored of me...I wasn't good enough???”

“ALEX! Stop. You are the best. Anyone who doesn't treat you like the angel you are doesn't deserve you! Ok?”

“Ok mom.”

“Carry on…”

“Well...we had a party to celebrate our first game of the season and my hatrick, which he really didn't care about. I had to go lie down. Look, I don't want to lie to you, I had a lot to drink, before the party even. It was my stupid way of dealing with his crap that day.”

I'm struggling onwards, trying to just get it out there before the tears inevitably come.

Suddenly I feel a hand on the small of my back. I turn and as expected see Tobs, back from her run. She looks at me with her gorgeous hazel eyes, making eye contact and releasing one of her trademark smiles. It gives me strength and she continues rubbing my back reassuringly, letting me carry on talking to my mom, saving her words for afterwards.

“Sorry...Tobin just came in…Anyway...the gist of it is that he forced himself on me while I was recovering and would have been successful had Clarke not found me just in time to help.”

My voice fails me again, my eyes welling up with tears again, not for the first time in these last 24hrs. Tobin moves to wrap her arms around me, drawing me into her warm,friendly embrace. Holding me against her, giving me just the support I need right now. As she always has done for me.

“HE WHAT? Hold on what now?!? How dare he! How dare he treat MY DAUGHTER like that. “

“And no, before you ask it wasn't the first time, and definitely wouldn't have been the last if not for my friends. Especially Anya, she scared him so much, she even floored him when he fought back.”

“Good for her, I'll have to thank her personally. Well...I...I love you Alex. We all do. Your family and your college friends. We are with you and we are here for you, anytime you need us. I can't believe this. I really can't.”

I can hear the worry setting in as she speaks and the underlying tone of pain coming across to me. I hate making her feel like this.

“Its ok mom. I'll live...I have Tobin here with me, helping me and giving me ice cream!" I look behind and catch her smile and feel her squeeze my hand, which I hadn't even noticed she had grasped at some point. “I'll get over it eventually, it's ok mom.”

“But Alex, you shouldn't have to go through this. You deserve so much better. For all you do, you deserve the world!”

“Thanks mom, I love you.”

“I love you too sweetie, we all do. What Servando has done is disgusting and has no place in this family, he has no place anymore. There are so many people who love you, who will be there for you when you need them most. Don't even bother wasting time thinking about him, spend your time with those people who really do care for you.”

“I will do mom. I just can't believe after all this time…”

“Alex. Don't. Just don't think about it. Go play some soccer, hang out with your friends, even exploit Tobin for ice cream!”

“HEY!!!” Tobin buts in from behind me, making us all laugh and putting the sad thoughts behind us.

“Honey can I talk to Tobin quickly please?”

“Sure" I pass my phone behind me, letting Tobs know that my mom wanted to talk to her quickly.

I can't hear the conversation because Tobin gets up from sitting on my bed and starts pacing around the room, letting out the occasional “yeah” and “ok". She looks over at me a few times, locking our eyes, nodding at whatever my mom is saying.  

“Ok bye Pam”

She hands me back my phone, letting me know that my mom is still there.

“Alex, I just want to tell you again that we all love you. All of us. If anything is worrying you, you don't have to keep it hidden. Ok?”

“Ok.” I agree, fully knowing that she is right. I have the best friends in the world and it will get better.

“Good. Well I'll call you back again soon, I have some busy weeks coming up unfortunately but I know you'll keep doing us proud on the pitch! Love you!”

“Thanks mom, love you too. Bye!”

“Bye Alex"

She hangs up and I place my phone on the table, looking over at Tobin, who seems to take a sudden fascination in her feet.

“Tobs?” I rasp. Waiting for her to meet my gaze, which she does rather hesitantly.  

“Yes?”

“Thank you so much! You don’t know how much it means to me to hear my mom's voice, after everything that has happened.”

“It's ok...You're my best friend Alex, I know you well enough to know your needs when things like this happen.”

“Still. Thank you.”

I stand up, still in my pyjamas and draw her into a hug, squeezing her tightly, showing how much I appreciate her friendship.

“So what are you planning on doing today?” Tobin asks, leaving the embrace and walking over to her wardrobe.

“I think I might go shoot some balls and maybe go to the gym. Get some of that emotion out I guess”

“Sounds good, want me to join you?”

The words of my mom come back to my mind, reminding me that I promised to use my friends and not enter my own bubble.

“Yeah. I don't see why not. We can find out if you’re still the Queen of the crossbar challenge too." I smile at her and set about gathering my things for a shower and some clothes to get changed into.

“I’ll go get you some breakfast while you get yourself sorted.”

“Ok, thanks!”

“When I say breakfast...I mean it's basically lunch now!” She laughs and I throw one of my socks at her that was lying around.

“Why? What's the time?” she checks her watch…

“11:30ish. Come on! Get going!”

“Ok, ok! Patience Tobs!” I stick my tongue out at her before entering the bathroom and locking the door.

 

****

 

We make our way across campus towards the soccer fields, kicking a ball between us and chatting about our favourite teams.

“I still can't believe you still support Arsenal after all these years!” I joke, mocking her love for The Gunners.

“You think I should change my allegiance?” she asks, quirking an eyebrow, questioning my thoughts.

“Yes, you should support Barca!!” I tell her,

“NOPE. Not happening"

“Awhhh whyyyy?” I pout at her, hoping to win her over by the method of sympathy.

“Because Arsenal are my team! MEGS” She shouts, before knocking the ball she has been kicking straight through my legs. She runs on after it, grinning and giggling to herself, while I stand hands on hips glaring at her childish behaviour.

“Ok, since you're so funny Tobin, lets see who can megs the most people on campus?” I ask her, challenging her to a game that I know can only possibly go one way.

“You're on! Prepare to lose suckerrrrrr!" She replies, excited at the prospect of having free reign to prove herself as the squad nutmeg queen.

She starts off by casually walking the ball in the direction of an older looking man, most likely a professor. She waits for him to walk past before sliding the ball straight through his stride. Easy pickings.

I see some students walking towards me, which makes up the decision for me. I stand casually against the wall, pretending to be checking my phone, waiting for the students to walk past. When the opportunity comes a moment later I carefully roll the ball along the ground, straight through the legs of the closest one to me. “Hey!!” He shouts, glaring at me and giving me the finger, before carrying on. It sends Tobin and I into fits of laughter.

I spot a familiar face on the other side of the courtyard, formulating a quick plan.

“Hey Tobs?”

“Yes?”

“I dare you to try to nutmeg Anya. If you succeed you win and are truly forever the Queen of the nutmeg!”

“What! No way!!!! She'll break my legs!!!”

“Exactly!” I laugh, enjoying the look of conflict on her face over whether or not to take up the challenge.

After a significant pause she finally responds…

“Fine. I'll do it. But if she kills me, make sure everyone knows that it was not an accident and it was your fault!”

“Hmmm I can't guarantee that, sorry!”

“Then I won't do it.” She sticks her tongue out at me, teasing me into agreeing with her demands.

“Fine. Ok. Whatever. You better get her!” I encourage her, looking forward to the spectacle that is surely to follow.

“Hell yes I'm getting her!” She responds confidently before heading over towards Anya, who is now standing with her back to us, reading an article of some sort.

Tobin sneaks up to her, hoping not to be heard, praying that the element of surprise will serve her well.

Once within distance she looks to take advantage of Anya’s wide stance by moving to roll the ball between Anya’s slightly open feet. However at the last moment Anya shifts her weight, making it impossible for Tobin, who can't quite recover in time. The ball nudges the back of Anya’s leg, striking her into action. However Tobin acts cunningly, taking the initiative and tapping Anya on the left shoulder, causing her to turn. Meanwhile in a split second she moves to the other side, taking advantage of Anya’s shift in weight to scoop the ball forward, around and back through the open legs of the defender. Tobin writes herself in history as probably the only person to ever nutmeg Anya, also securing her fate in the hands of a very pissed off woman.

Anya promptly swivels around, noticing the hysterical figure of Tobin, who is besides herself with laughter at the whole situation, knowing nothing like this will ever be likely to happen again.

“TOBIN!!!!!” Anya shouts, aggressively lunging herself at her, grabbing the midfielder by the waist and throwing her to the ground. She sets about pinning Tobin down and demanding her to take the nutmeg back, which Tobin of course refuses, only succeeding in making Anya more furious at the loss of pride. The rest of the events are pure hilarity, as Anya sets about performing all sorts of painful looking martial arts holds on Tobin. Obviously in a somewhat friendly way, but also not so friendly!

Finally, once it becomes clear that Tobin won't let go of the honour of the nutmeg, Anya lets her go. Not until she gives out a clear warming of revenge in the imminent future, producing a look of pure fear on the face of Tobin.

Tobin timidly walks over to me, checking over her shoulder for Anya, while retrieving her ball, which I had collected during the scuffle. We set off on our way to the soccer fields in silence, waiting to be out of earshot of Anya. Then, as if by magnetic forces we turn to look at each other at the same time, bursting out laughing. I’m surprised she is still standing in all honesty, but the look of fear in her eyes just before suggested it's definitely not over!

“That...was fucking brilliant!” I start, struggling to keep my eyes from tearing up from laughing so hard.

“I can't believe I managed it to be fair! She seems to have some sort of sixth sense for incoming soccer balls!”

“Then she handed your ass to you!” I mock, revelling in the sheer comedy of the moment.

“Oh well...It was so worth it! Anddddd I think you have something to say to me?!?!”

“Huh?”

“The deal"

“Urghhh fine… You are officially the Nutmeg Queen for the rest of time!” I reluctantly concede, merely confirming what we already knew anyway!

“Ha! Thought so!”

“Yeah yeah...get over yourself! Come on, let's play some proper soccer, I want to score some goals from those sweet deliveries of yours!”  

We continue on our way towards the soccer fields, drama free and just enjoying the blue skies and slight breeze. I notice that the wind is playing with Tobin’s hair, blowing it across her face. She looks stunning, drawing the breath right out of my lungs. I've never seen her as more than my best friend, she's just always been there since we met, never letting go of us. I want her to know how much I appreciate her, how much I value her friendship, her loving care. She does all this while still being Tobin Heath, the coolest girl on the planet.

“What's going on in that head of yours?” Tobin asks, bringing me back to reality, turning to meet my eyes. I suddenly feel vulnerable, I don't know what I'm thinking, I can't tell her anything that I’m feeling. Not yet anyway.

“Oh nothing. Don't worry…” I reply timidly, not sure of myself.

“Not convincing, are you sure you don't want to talk about anything?”

“Mmm not right now. Maybe I'll tell you another time.”

“Ok, lets just shoot some soccer balls...See if you can still hit them top bins!”

We spend around 20 minutes just shooting from the edge of the 18yrd box, encouraging each other and setting target challenges. This is the area I excel in, the ball at my feet and the goal in front of me. Every time I strike the ball I feel the adrenaline rushing through my body, will it go in? Yes, most the time it does, which is all down to practice, belief and confidence. You need to nail your technique down, believe that you have the ability from that and then be able to carry all that out knowing you can do it! Each time Tobin rolls a ball to me and shouts “top right", “bottom left", or whatever she chooses, I zone everything out and just focus on the ball and the goal. The rest comes naturally, as if the ball becomes a part of me for a moment.

“Ok ok! I think that we have proven you can score a few goals!” Tobin shouts over to me, laughing, while tying her hair back again.

“I'm gonna whip in some crosses, if you want to practice some headers and volleys?”

“Sure, sounds good!” I love getting on the end of Tobins crosses, thanks to our chemistry on the pitch, from years of training since childhood and now college level.

The first few are floated in, allowing me to rise and get a head to them, sending the ball with power into the back of the net. Never close your eyes when you’re going for a header, power through and keep your head down, directing the ball with accuracy and power. Tobin shouts out some praises each time, which makes me feel a lovely warmth inside. She knows exactly what to say and is always such a positive, radiant person.

She then serves me some more powerful crosses, at a lower height, allowing me to take them on the volley or practice controlling the ball and then shooting. Again, eyes on the ball, then it's all about technique, as is most of playing soccer. That's why practice like this is so important!

After a while Tobin calls out and decides that is enough for now, it is an off day for training after all. However a crossbar challenge always has to be done at the end! With only a couple of soccer balls we only have enough for one each. I go first and strike the ball just how I wanted, watching as the ball flies in the air and dips down, hitting the bar and bouncing over.

“Ha! Beat that Tobin!” I jeer at her, hoping to put her off, which is always so difficult when she is just so cool with the ball!

She kicks the ball, this one with a lot of power, sending the ball flying true into the bar as it cannons off and bounces a few times before rolling back towards us.

Tobin, being the cheeky person that she is, jogs towards it and kicks it with her ‘weaker’ left foot, again sending the ball sailing into the crossbar for good measure.

“Yeah yeah...show off" I jibe, knowing full well that her ego doesn't need the extra inflation right now after that! She turns and beams at me, taking a bow and jogging off to collect the balls from behind the goal. Dammit she is so adorable like this, that cheeky smile and the little giggle she lets out. It's always been a weakness of mine, when she is like this, I find it hard to not love her. As a friend that is.

 

Following that we head off to the gym and spend some good time there before heading back to our dorm for dinner and Netflix.

This time I let Tobin decide on the film, which leaves us watching the first Captain America, courtesy of Tobin’s love for superhero films. We snuggle up on the bed together, eating our chinese takeaway and watching the film. I slowly edge closer to her throughout the duration of the film, until the point where I'm resting my head on her shoulder. She notices because I feel her bring her arm around me, drawing me closer into her. After the film finishes she turns around to look at me with those deep hazelnut eyes of hers.

“Hey Alex?” she asks, her voice soft and somewhat vulnerable. I hum at her, letting her know that I’m listening to what she has to say.

“What were you thinking about earlier, you seemed totally zoned out. Are you okay?”

I don't know how to reply, a part of me wants to tell her what I'm feeling right now, but another part of me says its a bad idea.

“Oh...um...I just…”

“Alex. You can trust me, you know you can, right?”

“I know...its just…”

“You don’t have to say anything, I just want to know that you’re ok and that if there is anything I can do you just have to ask…”

I decide to tell her half of what has been going through my head throughout last night and during the day.

“I don't think I ever truly loved Servando. I mean we were together for years, you know we met in high school. But there always seemed to be some sort of block on me, like something at the back of my mind…”

Tobin just sits there silently, knowing that in many cases, it’s more valuable listening rather than always talking. I gather my thoughts and continue on, spilling out my thoughts to her.

“I don’t get why he did this, I always thought he loved me, that he cared for me. But honestly I’ve been so blind to the fact that the last couple of months we have been so downhill. He barely acknowledges me, he stopped coming to my games, he stopped caring for me all together. I think he only stayed with me for...well for…”

“I know what you mean. I'm so so sorry Alex, I should have seen it, I should have known…”

“No!” I cut into what she is saying, knowing full well that this is not her fault. I cannot let her blame herself for anything that has happened. Somehow I now know that I need to tell her…

“I...I think I know why I never truly felt at home with Servando. My heart was never fully in it, I...there has always been someone else…”

“I don't understand? What do you mean someone else? Alex…?”

I find myself opening and closing my mouth a few times, probably looking very much like a goldfish. Tobin keeps her eyes on me, as if trying to read my thoughts. If only she knew.

“Well...I...I think...fuck...I don't know…”

“Alex, just breathe ok, take your time, I'm here as long as you need me.”

I steady myself, organising my thoughts and trying to find a way to tell her what's going through my head right now.

“Its you. It's always been you Tobin. You're always there for me, always caring and loving me, without asking for anything in return…”

“Alex, I've only ever been here because you're my best friend, I care about you so much.” Now it's her turn to be struggling with words, not knowing how to react or what to say.

“No, it's just...I’ve always had feelings for you, I've just never fully embraced it. I've always been so involved with Servando I never gave you enough time.”

“That's not true, we have always had time for each other. I had such a great time on holiday with you this summer, spending time together, I think that was when I realised that I feel the same. In between chasing each other in the pool and you needing sun cream applying every 10 minutes.”

“Wait what...you...you just said that you…?”

“Yes Alex. You heard me.” She interrupts me, looking up from her fidgeting hands, which had become of great interest to her the last couple of minutes. I'm confused though, why after all this time have we not realised our feelings for each other? And besides, I thought she was interested in a certain new blonde now...

“But what about Clarke? I thought…”

“You were with Servando, for me it seemed like it would be for life. Clarke is a lovely, caring woman, but she isn't you. She isn't my Alex.”

I look up and meet her eyes once again, getting lost in those deep hazelnut orbs. I can see the sincereness, the emotions that she is pouring out. I know she is telling the truth, why wouldn't she? I trust her, I care for her, I need to be with her. That is the underlying, inexplicable truth in all of this…

“So now what?” I ask her, my voice slightly shaking, showing the sudden nerves that have taken over my body, overwhelming me.

She looks up and smiles, a small but powerful smile, both reassuring me but also filling me with warmth.

“This is about you Alex, you and you foremost. You've just gone through hell with Servando, you're in a place mentally that you need care and love to heal. I’m here for you, I always will be. Let me be here for you while you get a grip on things and then we can talk about us?”

Her words hit straight to my heart, I can feel my eyes welling up from all the emotions that Tobin is sending my way. She must have noticed because she shifts closer to me and pulls me into her arms, holding me tight. We stay like this for a few minutes, just gathering our thoughts and enjoying the closeness. I can feel her breath tickling my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

“You're right” I finally answer, putting my thoughts into words. “I need time, its too early for anything right now. But when I'm ready I want this more than I can explain. I’ve always wanted this, I've just never embraced it.”

“I’ll be right here by your side, waiting for you to be ready.” She replies softly, before nestling her head in the crook of my neck, resting there for a moment, completely in peace.

We stay like this for a while, not talking, simply enjoying the feeling of being at ease with one another. It feels so incredible to have this weight off of my chest, having carried it around  hj0 long.

“I still can't believe you nutmegged Anya!” I rasp, breaking the silence, bringing out a little giggle from Tobin and of course that beautiful smile of hers.

“Neither can I! But now she's plotting against me and I think I should be fearing for my life!” We laugh over the memory, at seeing Anya’s reaction and her shock at being caught completely off guard by Tobin.

“What about Clarke and Lexa?” I ask, looking over at her, wondering about what she thinks of those two.

“I think they have some serious potential!” she jokes, offering her view. “Honestly though, Clarke is a really good friend for her, she's always needed someone and if they do end up together they will be both the dorkiest and cutest couple we know!”

“Damn right. We need to see this!!”

She laughs and agrees, before declaring that its probably a good time to sleep now, after a busy and rather heavy day.

We hit the hay, both exhausted but equally more than satisfied with the outcome of today.

********

The rest of the week passes, most of the time spent cuddling, in the gym or at soccer practice. I don’t feel like I have the strength to meet up with the others, not yet, but soon. I know I need time alone with Tobin, to talk through my emotions and to get over the pain of Servando. But I know one thing for sure, I care for Tobin so much and I can't wait to call her mine. I also now know that she feels the same and that it's only a matter of time.


	8. Yes or No

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit happens  
> Clexa chapter!

**Clarke pov**

Lexa and I head back to our dorm, agreeing to hang out during the afternoon and then go to the cinema in the evening. We have all noticed a certain change in Anya’s actions since the beginning of the week, speaking about it on occasion in our group. She seems to be glaring at Tobin at every given opportunity, not a good sign for Tobs, but equally it's been rather entertaining for the rest of us. Meanwhile Tobin has been strutting around like she owns the place, grinning at Anya every time she sees her, much to the brunettes disgust. Octavia mentioned something about seeing Anya visit Raven in the labs a good few times this week, probably up to no good. Are the two mysteries related? Who knows…

Again, on the way back to our dorm we see her heading off in the direction of the science department. 

“Any idea what's up with Anya?” I ask Lexa, cautious that it might be something sensitive. 

“Oh I don't know. She hasn't mentioned anything to me…” 

“Oh okay. Well she is definitely up to something, she keeps visiting Raven.” I suggest, probing for any sort of useful information. 

Lexa just shrugs and continues walking, seemingly unsure about the whole situation. 

“You don't think...you know...they are…?” 

“If you are about to suggest Anya and Raven are hooking up then you must actually be dumber than I thought" Lexa responds, laughing and completely brushing off the idea.

“Yeahhh but you know what they say...Opposites attract!” Lexa makes a funny and somewhat confused face at me saying that, looking like she is concentrating hard. 

“No, I'm not quite sure that's how it works" Lexa replies seriously after some time, clearly overthinking what I said. 

“No silly! Urgh whatever…” I leave it hanging, walking in comfortable silence back to our dorm.

 

“So what do you want to do this afternoon?” Lexa asks, while kicking a ball against her bed, as she does literally all the time. 

“Hmmm I want a slushie and to enjoy the sun.” I respond, spilling my thoughts over to Lexa, knowing she'll say yes to whatever I suggest.

“Sure. Lets go to that lovely park we saw and chill out over there?” 

“Sounds like a plan! But don't forget the slushies!”

“Fine… But you're buying them! I need to keep some money for myself at least.” she commands, knowing full well how much food she buys me, usually with very little persuasion too. 

We walk out of campus and into town, chatting and laughing at all sorts of things, obviously at a snail pace once again thanks to me being on crutches. It's another beautiful California day, the sun shining and not a single cloud in sight. Perfect weather for lying down and doing absolutely nothing, or also going to the park with your hot roomie. Wait what? Whatever…

Lexa spots an ice cream truck near one of the entrances to the park, pointing it out for me to get my slushie. As we slowly walk over I feel the need to thank Lexa again for spending her time with me, rather than with the rest of the team.

“You really didn’t have to do this with me, I know you would rather be partying with the rest of the group.” I explain to her, reasoning that I am honestly fine with the situation and that I can deal with being alone for a short period of time if needs be.

“No. You don’t get it...I want to be here. I want nothing more than to be with you right now. You need a friend and I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere.” she sincerely replies, letting her emotions do the talking.

I don’t know what to say, I just step forward and hug her tightly, whispering thanks in her ear, savouring the words she graced me with and the friendship we have. 

After a moment we pull apart again, smiling at each other and then without any further words we join the short queue for the ice cream truck.   

“Hello!” A warm, gentle looking old lady greets us. “What can I get for you two beautiful ladies?” she asks, causing us to look at each other and blush. I can feel my ears reddening at the compliment, but hey, she was right about Lexa being beautiful at least!

“Hiya! Please may I have a blue raspberry slushie.” I request, before turning to Lexa, raising an eyebrow at her in question.

“And for your girlfriend?” she asks, completely throwing us off guard. Again we find ourselves blushing, more so this time at the embarrassment of the situation.

“Oh um...we aren't…” I stammer...

“Ohhhh I assumed...nevermind” she smiles hesitantly, before asking again if Lexa wants anything. 

“Oh um, I'm ok thanks.” Lexa mumbles, her eyes now solely focused on her feet. 

“Lex are you sure? I'm paying, remember!” I remind her, while wrapping an arm around her to reassure her overthinking brain.

“Erm...Do you have strawberry milkshakes?” she finally asks, having given the choice some thought. 

“Of course darling, coming right up!” 

The lady sets about her business, getting our orders ready while whistling along to an old tune I think I recognise. 

“Right...One milkshake for you, and a slushie for you my darling. Enjoy the afternoon and the lovely weather!” 

I thank and pay the lady, then we head off into the park, looking for an ideal spot away from the crowded areas and loud children.

“I can’t believe she thought we were...you know...together!” Lexa exclaims, still thrown off by the embarrassment. 

“Hmm I mean obviously we are just too cool together, girlfriend" I joke, emphasising the word girlfriend which leads to her lightly slapping my shoulder. 

“In your dreams Griffin!” She fires back a little suddenly, stopping me dead in my tracks. 

I don't know why, but a part of me suddenly thinks yes, I would dream of her being my girlfriend. Someone as awesome, beautiful and yet as badass as Lexa is. Honestly, would it be a bad thing? I really think not, but in reality, she clearly doesn't feel the same, I can't help but feel like she meant those words. “Clarke?? Are you ok?” she asks, a worried expression covering her face as she brings me back from my deep thoughts.

“Oh yes sorry, I was just daydreaming." I immediately cringe at my choice of words, I really hope she didn't notice the accidental meaning behind those words. Were they accidental though? I don't even know… She's just so damn perfect, how could I not want to have the immense privilege of being able to call her my girlfriend.

“Are you sure?? You've gone again!” Lexa stresses, starting to get worried that something is up. 

“I'm fine thanks, beautiful…” I reply, not realising what I just said…

“Beautiful???” Lexa responds hurriedly, taken aback by my choice of words. 

“What?? Oh shit did I...sorry...I um…” I panic, realising that I actually called her beautiful out loud, not in my head!! 

“Clarke...chill!! Thank you actually, it took a lot of hard work to look this good!” she pauses, chuckling at her own joke, helping me to calm down once again. “You're not too bad yourself eh?” Lexa continues, smirking at me, acting like a little kid in my opinion. 

“Hey! Unlike you, I have to actually put in effort to look presentable.” I tell her, somewhat joking, believing that she is just so naturally beautiful and I am really not...

“Oi you can stop right there! Don't you dare even think you're not beautiful! I was just kidding!” she argues forcefully, triggering a warm feeling in my heart at her kind, meaningful words. 

“Thanks Lex” I simply respond cheerfully, meeting her deep green eyes which fill me with that same warmth. 

 

“This spot here looks good!” Lexa calls over to me, having walked on ahead to find us somewhere peaceful to relax.  

“Ok, looks good to me!” I reply, slowly making my way over, starting to get fed up of the *click click click* sound of the crutches. 

“Can I have my slushie now please?” I plead, having asked her to carry it for me. One of the worst problems of being on crutches is definitely not being able to carry anything!! Someone should invent cup holders for them or something, seriously! 

“Yep! Enjoy!” she hands it over once I've planted myself down. I thank her and we sit in silence for a bit, simply enjoying the peaceful area and the beautiful park enlightened by the sun.

“So how come you chose Cali?” I ask her after a bit, curious as to her decision. I've realised recently that while we are best friends I still don't know her too well. 

“Well I grew up in North Carolina with my aunt and uncle, they have always supported me and wanted the best for me. They said that I can go anywhere I want as long as I give it my all. I guess I always thought that I would end up at North Carolina, it would be close to home and close to my family. It was actually Anya who changed my mind. She told me all about Cali and pretty much sold this place to me, I couldn't say no to playing soccer with her again.”

“That makes sense, so Anya convinced you to come here then?”

“Yeah, it made sense for us to be playing together, we have always been close, our families are almost inseparable due to our culture. Our parents really pushed us to be the best that we can be, they were harsh on us but in a good way. The 6 am morning run everyday and unavoidable fitness classes were an important part of our upbringing together, alongside the MMA training.”

“Yes...I heard that you are a master of martial arts. Remind me never to get on your bad side, or Anya’s for that matter.” I joke, earning a wry smile from Lexa. 

“What about you? Why did you come all the way over here? You surely would have been the best player on every team back in Australia?” Lexa aks, equally curious about my decision to come to UCB.

“Well, I was approached at our cup final last season, I think the lady was called Chloe, she told me I had been scouted by UCB and they wanted to offer me a full soccer scholarship”

“Only UCB or anyone else?” Lexa interrupts, asking a question I've never considered myself.

“No, just UCB, that's funny actually. I never considered anywhere else might offer me a place. I guess they were just super keen and got to me first. It's extremely rare for players in Australia to get scouted by clubs from other continents.”

“Well...You must be pretty good or something then…hard to see to be honest” Lexa jokes, earning a slap on the arm and a small glare, which I couldn't manage to hold very long. 

“So yeah, I couldn't refuse such a crazy offer, I just had to accept it. Unfortunately my mom didn't, but she has always wanted me to follow in her footsteps, not dads…”

“So your dad plays soccer too?” Lexa asks, completely oblivious to my circumstance.

“He did….” 

“Oh….shit.” she pauses for a moment, meeting my suddenly sad eyes, she holds the gaze for a moment. “I'm sorry Clarke, truly sorry. I know how that feels, I've been through the same.” Lexa finally admits, breaking the momentary silence. 

“Its ok, you didn't know, you couldn't have…”

“Yeah...It's why I've always lived with my aunt and uncle, my parents both died just after I was born…” her voice falters and I notice her gulp loudly, fighting back tears. “They said it was a freak accident, a crazy man with a gun, they didn't deserve it at all.” I can see the tears slowly trickling down her cheeks, breaking my heart. I just want to wrap my arms around her and hug her tightly.

“Lexa...Please you don't have to…”

“No, you needed to know. Our past defines us, it makes us stronger, we learn what is weakness and what isn't.”

“I guess so. We are quite similar in quite a number of ways I think, I didn’t realise it beforehand. Maybe...AH WASP AHHHH NOO” I hear the buzzing and see a wasp flying around me, probably going for the slushie.

“Clarke, calm down! Don’t move!” Lexa shouts, trying to convince me not to panic, so I don't anger the wasp, but nothing would be able to stop me.

“Get it away!!! Help!!!!!” I start swatting at it, trying to fend it off, wanting nothing more than to be able to jump up and run away, but obviously I can’t! “Lexaaa!!!! I’m allergic to wasps!!!!! Helppppp!!!!” I yelp as it lands on my arm and I brace for the inevitable, but at that moment a fast movement from Lexa saves me from certain death (no I’m not over exaggerating!) as she swoops in and captures the wasp in the empty milkshake cup she had finished moments ago. 

“You seriously need to learn how to deal with a wasp Clarke, how old are you?” Lexa jokes, smirking at me while she sets about carefully getting rid of the wasp. 

“Sorry, I’m allergic to them though, I can't help but panic!” 

“We'll you're lucky to have me." she sticks her tongue out at me, now who's the one acting like a child huh? 

“Yes...yes I am." I reply firmly, completely believing that she is correct in every possible way. I am very lucky to have her as a best friend. 

We carry on relaxing, chatting away about various things, mostly our love for soccer. We never will agree over who is the better player: Gerrard or Xavi. Xabi Alonso or Iniesta. But one thing we do agree on is that Messi is the best player in the world. 

Time flies and before we know it the time has arrived for dinner, emphasised by the rumbling of my stomach. Something that Lexa seems to find way too funny, it's not my fault I need food! 

We agree on Subway for dinner, keeping it simple but equally delicious. I do love a good Subway sandwich, how could you not? They are so good! 

We slowly make our way out of the park and into town, heading in the direction of the nearest Subway. It's quite busy on the streets, most likely due to the fact that it's a saturday evening. Lexa acts a bit like a human shield, helping me navigate through the hordes of people. She doesn’t realise it, but she is a real shining star when she wants to be, when she isn’t being Lexa the commanding, intimidating soccer player. 

I order a chicken and bacon ranch melt, while Lexa opts for the classic steak and cheese sub, she also asks for a large helping of sweet chilli sauce. Neither of us could pass up on the meal deal either, considering how delicious the cookies are from Subway. We reluctantly have to eat in, due to the fact that I can’t eat and walk at the same time, which gives us a chance to decide on a movie to watch at the cinema. 

“Sooo I was thinking...Finding Dory has just come out in cinemas and…”

“NOPE. I am not watching that rubbish.” Lexa responds, cutting me off and drawing a line. 

“Hey! It’s not rubbish! It’s cute!!!”

“Exactly….”

“Fine...well what is acceptable to watch in your eyes?” I ask, as she takes a moment to think about her choices. 

“Something along the lines of Deadpool?”

“Seen it.”

“Okay...How about Suicide Squad?

“It isn’t out until monday.”

“Shit...I don’t know...How about Jason Bourne?”

“Never heard of it.”

“What do you mean you’ve never heard of it???” Lexa asks, unable to comprehend how I haven’t heard of the Bourne movies before.

“I don’t know. What’s it about?”

“Oh it's this super badass guy, you know Matt Damon, right?”

“Ohhh yeah I know him! He’s cool, well if you say it's good then I trust you, but you had better be right, otherwise I’m dragging you along to watch Finding Dory sometime soon!” I reason with her, letting her know the forfeit if it turns out to not be a good movie.

“Ok, Jason Bourne it is. I’ll pay, don’t worry!”

“No Lexa you can’t pay! You’re here because of me, I’ll pay since you are missing another party!” I state, not budging on the matter, making it clear that it isn’t fair on her to be spending her money on me like this. 

“How about we buy our own tickets?” Lexa suggests, earning a glare from me, at which point she immediately backs down, accepting defeat. It just goes to show she will do pretty much anything I say, something we have all been noticing recently. 

“So if I haven’t watched the previous ones is that a bad thing?” I ask Lexa as we take our seats at the cinema a short amount of time later, after I willingly paid for both tickets. 

“Well all you need to know is that Jason Bourne was trained to be the best and most elite weapon under operation Treadstone. But he was pretty much brainwashed by them and quit when he recovered his past. Something like that…”

“Hmm interesting, it sounds exciting. But it's still not quite Disney!” 

“Oh for fucks sake Clarke.” Lexa sighs, laughing at my insistence at watching Finding Dory.

The lights go off at the end of the trailers, signalling the start of the movie, switching off from the outside world into total silence except the sound of the movie. Or so I thought…

Lexa seems to have other ideas. I think she must just get so carried away with the movie that she seems to find it necessary to commentate parts of it to me, in her own unique Lexa way. 

“That's not how I would have done it" she whispers, explaining how she would have put down one of Bourne’s opponents in a better, more Lexa like manner. 

“He totally could have taken less punches there, he is supposed to be the best! I could have done better." Lexa comments, some time later, again feeling the need to express her humble opinion. 

“Why did she die? Really? I could have done better!! Why didn't they cast me??” Lexa continues, a bit later in the movie, having witnessed the seemingly unnecessary death of a character (Nikki) in one of the most dramatic scenes so far. 

“I’m not quite sure that's how it works Lex.” I whisper back to her, laughing internally at Lexa’s display throughout the movie and her inability to sit there quietly and watch it.

Towards the end of the movie I had managed to block out the commentary from Lexa, in fact I actually enjoyed the movie a lot, even though I have never watched the previous ones. Definitely something to add to the long list of movies and tv shows I need to watch! The thrilling drama and non stop action kept the movie moving at great pace and the end came almost too soon, much to Lexa’s dismay…

“Awh I want more” Lexa whines as the credits come onto the screen.

“Well we can watch the previous movies together if you want?” I ask her, hoping to bring her out of her cute but equally childish sulking.

“Does that mean you liked it?” Lexa asks, her face suddenly lighting up, like a little child being allowed into a candy store. 

“No not at all! It was awful! Now you have to come to see Finding Dory with me! Hah!” I reply, hoping to deceive her, which inevitably turns out to fail.  

“You’re lying.” she responds, pouting adorably at me, immediately melting my heart at the cutest sight I think I’ve ever seen.

“Fine. It was great…”

“Thought so!” Replies as an excited, bubbly Lexa, going from pouting to grinning quicker than Anya can take down Octavia in a completely fair and balanced fight.

********

We leave the cinema and take a slow walk back to campus, enjoying the evening and the warm air mixed with the refreshing, cooling breeze. It's around 22:30 now, but as expected with a saturday night it's still fairly busy, people crowding around the bars, drinking and shouting, having a good time. We’re happy in our own little world though, oblivious to everything around us.

Lexa takes a right down the next road, surprising me as that isn’t the way back to campus, what is she planning?

“Lexa where are we going?”

“You’ll see…” She replies, leaving the question open and mysterious to me, confusing me but also creating a feeling of excitement too.

We make our way through some more housing areas before turning another corner, reaching an unexpected opening featuring some old rusty iron gates, which lead the way to a small fountain in a beautiful, peaceful garden. 

“Oh my…” I find myself breathless at the serenity of the place, showing another aspect of Lexa that I never knew existed. 

“I come here often. It’s my retreat place I guess…” Lexa sets out explaining to me, quietly and somewhat emotionally. “When I need to be alone this is where I go, I love the peace and the beauty....” 

“This is amazing Lex!” I finally reply, just in awe of this secluded space. “Why did you bring me here though? This is your private place…”

“No one else knows about it, you’re my closest friend and I thought that you would like it…” Lexa rambles, a hint of panic entering her voice at my question.

“Hey...No, I love it! It’s lovely! I just thought you would have wanted this place all to yourself?” 

“I need someone to share it with sometimes, I wanted that to be you.” 

“Awh Lex…” I walk over here and embrace her, squeezing her tightly with so much meaning and unspoken truth. “Thank you Lex, that means so much to me…” I whisper in her ear, feeling her hair tickling my cheek as she rests her head on my shoulder momentarily. I feel my body trembling slightly with nerves at this wonderful moment, the closeness of Lexa and her opening up her emotions to me. My feelings for her have only grown, especially since the match earlier, when she celebrated with me and after the game when I realised just how much she means to me.

“You’re beautiful, you know?” The words escape me before I even have time to process the fact that I actually spoke them, my lips just spilling out the words on my mind.

“Clarke...I...Thank you” Lexa stutters, completely caught off by my sudden compliment, overwhelmed by the emotions of the moment.

“I mean it...You’re beautiful, inside and outside.” I reply, restating my words having contemplated what to say next. I do mean it, and I want her to know that I appreciate her for who she is and how she is to me. 

“You’re beautiful too Clarke, I was sceptical at first, I didn’t think I would like you. I thought you would be nowhere near as cool and supportive as you are, I underestimated you and I’m sorry for that…”

“It's in the past now Lexa. We can write our own future together and not have to worry on things like that…”

“What do you mean our future Clarke? I don’t understand?” Lexa replies, failing to understand the meaning behind the words, the emotion I’m pouring out to her. 

“I mean...Lexa I like you, I really do. You mean so much to me and I find it so hard to tell you that. I know we have only known each other for a number of weeks but what I feel for you is clear and it is impossible to ignore…” I pause for breath, unaware until now that I had been holding it in for so long. Meanwhile I search Lexa’s eyes, trying to interpret whatever is going on in the brilliant mind of hers. “I want you Lexa, I really do. You have gone out of your way for me, you have supported me, you have been the best roomie I could have asked for and more. Please Lexa...what are you thinking?”

Lexa gulps and takes a step back, pushing away from me slightly, taking deep breaths and her eyes flicking all over me and the surroundings. She looks really overwhelmed and flustered...shit I must have gone too far. Should I really have admitted my feelings for her? Is it too early? Shit what if I have completely fucked it all up...She opens her mouth to speak, putting an end to all the thoughts flying around in my head. 

“No Clarke...no...I can’t...I…” her voice cracks, at the same time filling my heart with fear at the unexpected denial in her words. “I...I don’t feel the same, I can’t...I thought we were just friends, you clearly have gotten the wrong message Clarke...I’m so sorry, really I am, but I just can’t be with you...I’m not ready to be in a relationship with anyone, not after…” she falters, gathering her thoughts before continuing... “I can’t trust anyone anymore. You're going to have to forget it Clarke, I'm sorry.” Lexa reveals, bringing my whole world crashing down on top of me, crushing all of my hopes in one simple but brutal confession. 

“Lexa…” I start…

“No Clarke, No…” Lexa interrupts, putting an abrupt end to my hopes of breaking down the wall of ice around her, reinforcing the barrier that cannot be crossed in her mind. 

“I’m sorry Lexa, please forgive me...!”

“I need to be alone…” Lexa blurts out, turning and beginning to walk away from me, leaving me sitting on the wall of the fountain, completely lost in my thoughts.

“Lexa please don’t leave me here.” I plead to her, but to no avail.

“NO Clarke, I need to be alone. Stop begging me, it isn’t going to work and I can’t deal with this right now!” With that she turns on her heel and disappears into the night, leaving me alone in the secluded garden, the faint trickle of the fountain the only sound audible anymore. 

The tears start to fall uncontrollably, the hurt, anger and emotions clouding my mind, filling me with all sorts of thoughts. I feel sick, physically sick, the pain of the rejection filling me and claiming all of my body. I lash out in rage, throwing one of my crutches at the gates, the loud noise ringing out but eventually dying down again into complete silence. I silence that shouldn’t be. Lexa should be here, in my arms, admitting her feelings for me too. But instead she hates me, she won’t want to see me again. Fuck I bet she will want a new roommate now, that will be it for me, I’ll be nothing more than a bad memory.

“FUCK!!!!!!!!!” I shout out, letting it all out, not holding back at all from the feelings inside of me, the pain and the guilt. 

********

After what feels like years of sitting there, having slumped down against the wall, I start to feel the cold. The warm air has given way to a contrasting breeze, chilling the air and causing me to shiver violently. I know I need to head back but I don’t know if I can do it, if I can face Lexa, if I can stand in front of anyone and not just break down.

Eventually the cold overcomes me and I slowly pull myself up, supporting myself on the one crutch I have with me. Pain shoots through my ankle as I slightly trip on my first step forward, almost giving way underneath me, luckily I manage to catch my fall and gain balance once again. I make my way over the the gates and recover the other crutch, steadily moving away from the God forsaken garden, a place I never ever want to set eyes on again. 

The way back takes forever, I feel so helpless, the click click click of the crutches reminding me of just how well everything is going right now. But eventually the familiar campus entrance appears in my sights and before I know it I’m back at my dorm, standing outside the door, unsure whether or not I should enter. I can see light creeping under the frame of the door, alerting me that Lexa must be there, that my options are clear, more so than before.

I reach up, key in hand, but at the last moment I change my mind. Now isn’t the moment, I can’t confront her, I can’t bring myself to see her right now, to be reminded of the painful rejection. Instead I turn around and leave the building, heading in the direction of the only place I can think of as a valid option right now. When I get there I knock on the door, hoping and praying that they will be home, not at the party where I know everyone will be. The door opens and I’m met with the face of probably the only friend I can truly trust right now. 

“Clarke?? What the fuck Clarke, what happened???” Raven asks, the shock on her face evident in reaction to my puffy eyes and my uncontrollable shivering. 

“I...Lexa…” I falter, unable to get the words out, my voice failing me and by the looks of things breaking Raven’s heart too...

“Clarke come in and sit down. I’ll get you a blanket and a warm drink. You don’t need to stand out here longer.” Raven states firmly, helping me inside with an arm around me, giving me the physical support that I need so much right now. 

She helps me down onto a comfortable armchair and sets about placing my crutches to the side and gathering blankets from around her room. 

“Thanks Raven.” I whisper, unable to mask any sort of pain that is coursing through me right now. 

“Hot chocolate?” Raven asks, knowing full well that it is the perfect drink right now to warm me up and help calm me down as much as possible. 

“Yes please.” I reply, pulling the blankets up, covering myself as much as possible, as if trying to hide from the world right now. Once she finishes making the hot drinks she gives one to me and perches of the bed opposite, taking in the emotions written all over my face. 

“So what the hell happened?” she finally asks, in a way only Raven can think up in circumstances like these. She honestly looks ready to kill, it's kind of frightening actually…

“Lexa...I...she…” I can't get my works out again, my breathing becoming erratic once more. 

“Clarke its ok, I'm here now. Deep breaths, that's it, you're ok…” Raven helps, calming me and reassuring me. 

“I...I told Lexa my feelings for her” I blurt out, unable to hold it in any longer.

“I knew it!” Raven exclaims, before quickly realising the situation and scale of just what happened tonight. “Shit…”

“Yeah, she completely rejected me, like she doesn't feel a single thing for me at all. She completely threw everything out the window, I...I can't believe it…” I feel the tears breaking my vision, rolling down my cheeks not for the first time tonight, certainly not for the last. 

“Fuck...I didn't see that coming. She has looked head over heels for you these past weeks. What the fuck!” Raven responds, the rage in her voice coming through, scaring me once again.

“She said I've gotten the wrong signals from her and that I should forget it" 

“The hell? That doesn't sound like our Lexa at all, at least the Lexa we know…” Raven questions, unable to comprehend how Lexa could have been so cold to me. 

“I think she said that she isn't ready for a relationship with anyone…”

“Shit, that means you've uncovered something in her past probably. I bet someone broke her heart before. That would be understandable…” Raven reveals, bringing up new ideas and possibilities of what must be going on with Lexa right now. 

“Only one person would know…” I answer, knowing immediately what I need to do. Where I might get some answers as to Lexa’s reaction. 

“Did she say anything else??” Raven asks, probing deeper, hoping to reveal anything else of use. 

“She just told me that she needs to be alone and refused to listen to anything else I tried to say. Then she left me there alone…”

“She...fucking hell...how could she...what the fuck!!” Raven shouts out, angry and shaken by Lexas display.

“Raven, please. I'm sure she had her reasons, she clearly is haunted by something. I just don't know what...” 

“It still doesn't excuse her leaving you alone and helpless, broken and in pain…” Raven responds back to my attempt at covering for Lexa somewhat. Regardless of the outcome of tonight I still care for her, I can't help that, it isn't something that would be possible to part from. 

“I...I need to talk to Anya…” I tell her, after a brief moment of silence between us, our thoughts eating at both of us. 

“What, now?” Raven responds, a little confused by my request. 

“Yes now.” I state firmly, knowing that Anya will have all the answers, but also that she needs to know what happened. I'd rather she heard it from me than anyone else.

“Ok fine, if you say so. I'll walk you over there as I don't think you've been to her place before?” 

“No I haven't” I reply, not missing the fact that Raven just happens to know where Anya lives. But that is definitely for another time...

We walk over there, mostly in silence, other than the noise of my crutches as usual which I'm definitely getting used to by now. 

“Do you want me to stay, or are you ok if I leave you in Anya’s hands?” 

“I need to do this alone, but thanks for offering, you're really amazing!” I let her know, truly grateful for her support this evening. 

“Ok...Let me know if you need a place to stay tonight, I'll keep my phone on me just in case.”

“Ok, I might end up taking you up on that. You're the best Raven!”

“I know I am, but thanks for reaffirming it.” Raven jokes, before turning and leaving me in front of Anya’s door.

I ring the doorbell and wait, beginning to over think and contemplate this decision, but it's too late. The door opens and a very sleepy looking Anya stands there, confused at my presence. 

“Clarke, what the hell?! Do you know what time it is??” she asks, scaring me a little, making me wish I hadn't come here. 

“I....but….” I stutter, trying to form a coherent sentence but failing miserably. At this point it seems that Anya wakes up a bit more, as she takes in my emotions and watery eyes from all the crying. 

“Shit Clarke, what happened?? Is this something I need to deal with as your captain or as a friend?” she asks, suddenly at attention and no longer wanting to get rid of me. 

“Um...friend, I think…” I reply, unsure of myself, unsure as to how I'm going to tell her what happened.

“Right, you can come in I guess" she steps aside and gestures for me to enter, stepping out of the way of my crutches. 

She guides me to her kitchen and tells me to take a seat, setting out searching for something. 

“Do you want a drink?”

“Um just a water please, thanks" 

She gets a cup of water for me and sets about boiling the kettle to make a coffee for herself. After which she sits down and makes herself comfortable before going back to the questioning. 

“So what happened? Take your time, tell me everything you need to…” she sets about acting in a big sister sort of manner, curious as to why I'm here like this at this sort of hour.

“Lexa...she...I told her I have feelings for her and she...she completely rejected me.” I tell Anya, feeling the tears beginning to form again. “She told me she can't and that she isn't ready for a relationship and that I should forget it...she left me there all alone…” I realise again that I've been holding my breath and I pause to take in oxygen, giving Anya time to assess the situation. 

“I had a feeling this would happen at some point…” Anya starts, clearly aware of something that must be effecting Lexa. “Lexa had her heart broken pretty badly a couple of years ago, since then she has had a real trust issue…” 

“So she can't trust me?” I ask, not quite understanding what this means.

“No, she most likely does trust you. In fact, it is probably scaring her that she does, that she is able to trust you. Clarke, I think it's almost impossible to deny that she has feelings for you too, she is just hiding from them and is unsure of herself and this is how she has dealt with that..unfortunately…” Anya tells me, completely taking me by surprise. 

“So, do I still have a chance? She won't hate me, will she?” 

“Clarke...I can't know until I've spoken to her, but I don't think Lexa could possibly hate you. Honestly I haven't seen her like she has been recently in a long time, she talks about you to me all the time. Too much of the time in fact…” she grimaces comically at the thought, before continuing… “I think she just needs a wakeup call, that someone like you won't come around again in her life. You're good for her Clarke. You put a smile on her face and you give her such momentum when she is playing her soccer. Hell, I think you've managed to take her game to another level!” Anya laughs, aware of the situation, but equally filling me with optimism, that maybe all is not lost. But I'm still a little confused by it all, by Lexa’s reaction earlier. 

“But why? Why is she unable to pursue her feelings then?” I ask, hoping to get more information from Anya, a real explanation. 

“I think that is for her to tell you, when she is ready...but if anything I do hope she opens up to her feelings, she needs someone like you Clarke.” Anya states, surprising me once again with her seemingly positive view on this. “I hope so too." I whisper, feeling a glimmer of hope once more. After a brief silence Anya gets up and places her empty coffee mug next to the sink. 

“Right...I’m going to go find that girl, she needs someone to knock some sense into her. But Clarke, she will need time, don't expect things to happen straight away. You need to be patient.” Anya lets me know, before walking over to where her shoes and coat are. I look over at her, still trying to absorb all of the information, unsure as to what might happen next. But at least I have a slightly more positive outlook than before, a glimmer of hope. 

“You can stay here for the night if you need to, Clarke. You can have the spare room, it's  upstairs and immediately on the right, you're ok with stairs aren't you?” Anya kindly offers, I nod and thank her before she turns and leaves.

 

I shoot a text to Raven, telling her that I have a place to stay and for her not to worry about me. She replies almost instantly to say that she hopes I'm ok and that she knows Anya will sort everything out. I hope she's right…

I slowly make my way upstairs, entering the spare room, which immediately smells of Lexa, dammit! Pictures of her come flooding into my mind, which are accompanied by the few photos of Lexa and Anya on the walls. This must be her room, for when she stays here, thanks Anya. I take off my shirt and pants, settling under the covers, which give off Lexa’s scent like she is in the room with me right now. It helps me relax and before I know it I've fallen asleep, exhausted from the long rollercoaster of a day. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> Don't worry, this definitely is not the end for Clexa, it is just the start...Bear with!  
> Thank you so so so so much for 100 Kudos, it means the world to me to know that people value my writing and commitment to the fandom, I'm not big on caring about the numbers but knowing what they really mean is just crazy to me! Thanks so much!  
> Also...MASSIVE shout out to my Beta - themvofangirl - you're a legend! Even if you are a madrid fan :p  
> Hope everyone is enjoying the world cup! I certainly am! Is your team still in it? Who will win now?  
> England are bringing it home! Lol (I'm half kidding)  
> Love you all!! <3


	9. Squid Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anya kicks Lexa's ass  
> Clarke slowly recovering from injury   
> Some drama of sorts  
> Lots of verbal ass kickings tbh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, so I tried to upload this for the last 7 hours today but the servers were down! - I also uploaded this to WattPad if anyone prefers it!  
> Your comments mean the world to me! Thank you everyone who leaves a little something, I really appreciate it!  
> World cup is coming to an end, England to win hahaha?? Its coming home!!!! Good luck if your team is still in!  
> Tobin scored an absolute peach of a goal for Portland, like wtf goals like that should be illegal!!! She's such a legend and made up for being injured the last 2 games!  
> Alex is injured :((((( Hope she recovers quickly!!  
> Oh and shoutout to my Beta - themvofangirl - you're kinda an alright human being :p

**Anya’s pov**

 

The whole way to Lexa’s dorm all I can think of is why she can’t just accept the fact that she is allowed to be happy! She has a beautiful woman who is so incredible and clearly has strong feelings for her, yet she seems to think that she isn’t entitled to that in some way. It's so obvious the changes in Lexa since Clarke has come into our lives; she smiles more, she cares more, she has taken her soccer to a whole new level, even her face seems to glow whenever Clarke is around. If Lexa is somehow able to deny her feelings for Clarke then she seriously needs some sense knocked into her...I’m happy to oblige.

*knock knock knock* I bang on the door loudly, knowing that Lexa won’t be able to hide in there and claim she didn’t hear me. The door opens and a very dishevelled Lexa stands in the doorway, her eyes puffy and her makeup running. She has evidently been crying, she obviously cares, it's the only possible explanation.

“Oh Lexa…” I start, my heart breaking at the sight of her now, standing in front of me like a lost puppy.

“Anya...I…” she fails to speak, instead she collapses into my arms, holding me tightly, hiding her face in my hair. I stand there for a couple of minutes, just holding her before pushing her away slightly and looking into her eyes. 

“Come on, let's sit down and we can talk this through…” I suggest, walking past her and into her room, followed by Lexa. 

I sit down on what must be Clarke’s bed, while Lexa sits across from me, still looking overwhelmed and confused at everything that has happened this evening. 

“So...what happened Lex?” I ask her, looking to hear the story from her side, to see if anything is different from what Clarke said. Not that I expect it to be…

“I fucked up An, I got scared and panicked and now Clarke probably hates me. It's all my fault, I’m such an idiot! Urghhhh” Lexa responds, undoubtedly frustrated at how she acted earlier. 

“Lexa...calm down, I don’t think Clarke could ever hate you. You’d have to do something much worse for that! She just seems confused and very hurt by your reaction to her, after all from the way you have been acting with her I think it was almost impossible for her to imagine you saying no to her.” I try to explain from what I have gathered so far, to help Lexa realise the consequences of her choice but also help her understand what might be going on in her best friends mind right now.

“But I left her there...she pleaded with me not to leave her alone and I still did.”

“And will you ever do it again?” I ask, hoping to prove to Lexa that we all make mistakes and the best we can do is learn from them. 

“No...I could never see her so broken again!” Lexa replies instantly, a look of fear across her face as she imagines a repeat of this event.

“Good, then that's one thing to take from this. So why did you even reject her in the first place? What was going on in your mind??” I switch my focus, now simply wanting to find out her reasoning. 

“I...um…”

“Take your time Lex, I know you're tired and confused but this conversation needs to take place if you're gonna pick yourself up and fight for your girl.” I tell her, trying to motivate her and also reassure her that she can and needs to work out her feelings.

“I panicked, she took me by surprise, I thought we were just hanging out as friends tonight. It's so soon, we've barely known each other and I just didn't expect it and panicked.”

“That's bullshit Lexa, come on! Really?!?” I bite back, knowing full well that there is much more to it than that. 

“Urghhh fine. You know what happened before I came here, what I went through, I don't want a repeat of that. I just want to know I can 100% trust Clarke, that she won't just bail out on me suddenly. I don't feel ready to commit, I don't feel ready for another relationship yet…”

“Lexa listen, life is too short for you to dwell on the past like that. I know how hurt you were and I know how betrayed you felt, but for fucks sake Lex! Clarke doesn't even know why you panicked and said no! All she knows is that you rejected her and that she isn't good enough for you, that's what she must have felt first.”

“Shit! You're right An, I need to sort my shit out. Clarke deserves better than me…” Lexa confesses, her eyes watering again. She just doesn't seem to comprehend…

“Jeez Lexa I thought you were supposed to be smart. Clarke wants you and you want Clarke. You don't need Raven to come here and tell you that it isn't rocket science!” I react, trying to verbally knock some sense into her. If that doesn't work then the next attempt will be physical! 

“But I fucked up, it doesn’t matter whether she wanted me or not, I fucked up and ruined any sort of trust she might have had in me.”

“Then earn it back. That's what you gotta do. If you are serious about her, which I know you are, then you have to work to earn her trust back. It's up to you Lex, we know she has feelings for you, she's said it herself. Now you need to get off your ass and do something about it!”

“You’re right An, as always…”

“Oh and if you don’t do it, I’ll kick your ass. Ok?” I tell her, making it clear that I’m being serious. I know she will live to regret it if she doesn’t, I only want what is best for her after all.

“So what now?” Lexa asks, still probably confused about how she needs to earn Clarke’s trust back. 

“Give her some space at first, but don’t just blank her, that will only make it worse. Every couple does that and I don’t get it, it never works! Smile at her, be yourself. You don’t have to talk to her, she probably won’t want to at first anyway, which is fine because it's part of the process. Don’t cave in at first because it will be tough for sure, but you got this! I believe in you my little squid!”

“Hey! I told you to stop calling me that!” Lexa instantly replies as I laugh at her awkward embarrassment at the nickname. “But yes, thanks. I know I want her, I just panicked earlier and now I have to do it the hard way I guess.”

“That's the spirit. Now get some sleep, you seriously need it! And Lex…”

“Yeah?”

“No more crying tonight, ok? You’re moving onwards and upwards, you're going to be just fine my squishy squid!”

“Anya!!! Please stop!” I can't help but laugh uncontrollably at her despair. I know she hates the nickname, but its her own fault for watching squid documentaries all the time and gushing about how amazing giant squids are and how they are the ‘coolest, weirdest creature of the deep.’ 

“Ok, well I’m going back to my place, sleep well Lex and remember, no more crying!”

“Thanks An, you're the best!”

“I know, thanks for confirming it for me.” I smirk at her and then walk towards the door, eager to get some rest, considering how late it is now and I wanted to have my usual 6am run. 

“Oh and An?”

“Yeah”

“How did you know about what happened? I don't recall telling you anything.”

“No, Clarke came over just earlier.”

“Oh...shit...is she ok???” Lexa asks, suddenly sitting bolt upright at this new information. 

“Well I mean obviously not, but she'll be fine, she's a strong woman Lex, don't you worry.”

“Ok, goodnight Anya.”

“Night Lexa.” with that I turn and leave, praying that Lexa will be able to sleep tonight and won't keep dwelling on things that have already happened.  

When I get back I decide first to check on Clarke, I nudge the door open slightly and see her fast asleep, thankfully. She seems to have taken one of Lexa’s old shirts from the drawers, probably knowing full well who it belongs to. I knew she would be okay with having this room, with the photos of Lexa and I. She would be so good for Lexa, I just know it, I'm not worried at all about that fact. Lexa needs someone to help her feel and love again, she needs something more than just soccer to ground her. 

I close the door and go to my bedroom, relishing in the knowledge that I can sleep now. It's been a weird and crazy evening, since Clarke’s arrival, but I had a feeling for a while that something like this would happen. I hit the hay, exhausted and grateful to slowly sink into sleep.

 

**Clarke’s pov**

 

The next day I wake to the sunlight creeping in through the curtainless window, I hadn't even thought to close them last night. The delicious smell of what I can only assume is breakfast wafts into the room. My stomach rumbles at the thought of food, alerting me that it would probably be a good idea to get out of bed.

“Morning Clarke." Anya greets me as I make my way into the kitchen, rubbing my eyes and trying to wake myself up a little more.

“Morning Anya, thanks for letting me stay, you have no idea how much I appreciate it!”

“Honestly, it’s cool, it made sense to me, anytime you need a place to stay don't hesitate to ask me.” Anya replies, so kind and caring, unlike someone else on my mind at the moment. “Do you want breakfast?” Anya asks, bringing me out of my thoughts. Asking the question that I had been silently hoping she would. 

“Yes please, if thats ok?” 

“Of course, I've made omelette for us, ham and cheese if you're cool with that.”

“Absolutely, thanks!”

I sit there watching her cook, both of us silent for some time, not really knowing what to say to each other.

“Ok, omelette incoming! Hope it's good, it usually is, you can't really go wrong with omelette.” Anya alerts me, passing me a plate of it and cutlery. 

“Thanks.” I smile at her, appreciating her care and her general awesomeness. 

“Coffee?” 

“That would be amazing, I really need my morning coffee today to wake me up.”

“Yeah you look like it" she jokes, winking at me and going back to making coffee. I laugh it off and go back to thinking about a certain someone, against my will. 

“Here you go, one coffee for you...how's the food?”  

“Oh my God, it's delicious! So good!!!” I reply truthfully, falling in love with her cooking.

“Great, another success!’” she laughs, obviously proud of her cooking talent and welcoming the complement to her food. We sit together in silence for a moment, until Anya breaks it.

“Did you sleep well?” 

“Yes, I fell asleep straight away thankfully. Although I did notice the room that you put me in definitely belonged to someone…”   
“Yeah sorry, I didn’t think about that until after I had left. It's always been a spare room though since last year, it hasn’t been used in so long that I almost forgot about it all together. It wasn’t too bad though?”   
“Nah, it was fine. You two are really cute together, you know?”

“Awh thanks! She is like a little sister to me, but now she’s all grown up and has her own decisions to make and has her own consequences to deal with.”

“How was she last night?”

“Confused, frustrated, upset...I think she just needs some time to come to grips with the situation, it's hard for her, but that doesn’t excuse how she treated you…”

“How so? I don’t understand how she can feel like that?”

“She does care about you Clarke, she panicked and got overwhelmed by everything. She doesn’t do so well when it comes to feelings. She seems to think that its weak to have feelings or some bullshit like that, ever since Costia.”   
“Who is Costia??”

“Her ex. But thats her story to tell.”

“Well regardless, she has some serious ground to make up now…” I leave the thought open, suggesting the obvious to Anya.

“I agree.”

“You do?” I reply, openly shocked at her answer to my statement.    
“Yes I do, I might be her older sister and have the overprotection job to do, but she fucked up. Its her mess to clean up this time.”

“Exactly and I can’t pretend that I’m not hurt by her. She has to sort this out, I’ll be waiting for her when she does and then we can see where it goes from there.”

“That's what I told her pretty much. Oh and I threatened to kick her ass if she doesn’t pull her head out of it soon!” Anya states, causing laughter to break out between us.

“Thanks for helping out Anya, I owe you…”   
“No you don’t. This is on me, don’t worry about it!”

“Ok, well thanks for letting me stay, I’ll head off now if thats ok?”

“Sure, I’ll see you at training tomorrow yeah?”   
“Maybe. I don’t know yet. I might hit the gym instead, I want to get back to playing, that’s my priority right now. “

“Ok well if that's what you need then go for it, but if it's to avoid a certain someone then I won’t be happy, because as your captain I have a duty to perform, ok?” Anya firmly states, instantaneously switching from best friend to no nonsense soccer captain in the blink of an eye.

“Of course, well I’ll see you later. Thanks again”

“Bye!”

********

Before I know it monday arrives, I stayed at Raven’s last night because her roommate is never around apparently. Probably a boyfriend or something like that, is what Raven told me when I asked. But for now I have a decision to make; gym or training. I want to come back from injury stronger and that means doing physio and following the regime set out for me, in order to strengthen my ankle and hopefully prevent any further aggravation. 

“Rae?”

“Hmm” a weary sounding Raven replies from in her bed across the room.   
“Do I help out in training today or go to the gym?”

“I don’t know, why?”

“Because Lexa will be at training…”

“Oh shit erm I don’t know, do whatever floats your boat. I need sleep, shhh...”

“Thanks for the help” I mutter under my breath, getting out of bed and throwing on the same clothes from yesterday. I know that at some point I need to go back to my dorm to gather things. Lexa will be going to breakfast now so it'll be a good time to make a break for it. I get back to the dorm and open the door, immediately being greeted by brunette hair and a face right in front of me. I instinctively back away, knowing full well who it is. Our eyes meet for a brief moment, before Lexa smiles weakly and walks past me probably going for breakfast. I gather my thoughts and enter the room, memories flooding my mind of our late night movies and weird conversations. I push it to the back of my mind and focus on collecting my gym gear and some other essentials to drop back off at Ravens dorm. I made the decision to go to the gym for this week so that I can hopefully make a return to training next week if Dave clears me. Along with the decision to stay with Raven for now, until I feel ready to face Lexa and bare the consequences of that.

 

The week passes fairly quickly and uneventfully, most of the time spent either in the gym or chilling with Raven. Before I know it, its game time and the first one I'm going to be in the stands for this season. Which on the positive side means sitting with Raven and witnessing all of her incredibly exciting shouting and commentary. The game is against Arizona State, hopefully a straightforward game for our team and another valuable 3 points in what is turning out to be a close race for the division playoffs at the end of the year. The usual line up is out for us, however a sophomore named Marissa has taken my place in the lineup, hopefully not for good! Even before kick-off while the teams are warming up it becomes extremely apparent that Lexa’s head is not in this one, she seems to be getting easily frustrated and isn't hitting her passes with her usual ease. I think Cori notices because after their warm up she puts an arm around her and talks to hear, seemingly trying to calm her down and take off any pressure.

The game finally kicks off and we all cheer from the stands, Raven obviously the loudest of everyone in her usual style. Tobin looks fired up on the left wing, nutmegging two defenders within the first 5 minutes, putting in a few dangerous crosses, one of which Alex gets to but is saved and the other just flies over her head. Meanwhile Lexa still seems to be struggling, she kicks two crossfield passes straight out of play and gets the ball easily stolen trying to go around a defender...really weird for her. 

On the 23rd minute Tobin cuts in from the left flank and plays a cutely chipped ball to the back post to the arriving Alex, who gets on the end and taps the ball into the back of the net. That pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the half, Alex bags another just before the break from a similar play but this time a header, jumping high above the defender to nod home. Raven and I go wild in the stands, screaming Alex’s name and shouting for our team! They are dominating and putting on a worthy display for all the talent out on the field. At half time its a comfortable 2-0, although it could easily be 4 or 5 by this point with the amount of chances that Tobin has created. Even Marissa, who is covering for me, seems to be having a great game. Tidy in possession and playing some lovely passes out to the wings. 

The second half commences just as the first, plenty of chances and our team is playing with little to no pressure out there. Tobin has been reaching into her locker of tricks, exciting the crowd with her flair and technical ability. In the 64th minute Lexa manages to win a corner as her cross is blocked by the opposing player. Possibly the first 50/50 that she has won all game, which fills me with both curiosity but also concern for her. She must be distracted from the game and I'm pretty sure I know the reason why, which fills me with regret and a little bit of pain. 

Lexa whips in the corner and the ball is headed out only to be delivered back in by Laura who had been hovering outside the box. Again the ball bounces around following some abysmal defending, before landing in front of Anya, who gets her foot through it and rips through the ball sending it smashing into the back of the net with such ferocity. I'm surprised the net didn't get ripped to shreds with the immense power that Anya generated behind that shot. Again the crowd are send into frenzy at the spectacular volley from the big centre back, Anya fully demonstrating why she is a player to fear anywhere on the field. 

The match eventually ends too soon, two more goals coming from our team in order to end the game 5-0. Alex bagging a brace and the other an own goal after a beautiful piece of footwork from Tobin and a low driven cross along the 6yrd box getting diverted in by a sliding defender. We all applaud the end, Raven jumping up and down with the excitement of the emphatic result. I really need to watch more games with her, she is such an adrenaline junkie and I love it! Not quite as much as actually being involved in the game though, which I certainly miss, especially after witnessing a game as open as this one. I notice Lexa trundling off the pitch alone, my heart pains at the sight because although I'm kinda mad at her right now I hate seeing her like this. She is such an exceptionally talented individual and deserves better especially in a game like this where she could have easily taken it by the scruff of the neck and put in a commanding performance. 

I almost reluctantly follow Raven down from the stands to congratulate the team on the victory, they do deserve it after all. But having managed to mostly avoid Lexa this week I’d rather not end up running into her at this time, I’m still not ready. Instead my eyes catch Tobin’s and I quickly make my way towards her, eager to congratulate her on her starstruck performance. 

“Tobin!! You smashed it out there!”    
“Clarke! Heyyy girl I haven’t seen you at all this week!”

“I know, I’m missing you Tobs. I miss playing soccer with you.” I reply, suddenly feeling negative at the reminder of how tough things are at the moment. 

“Hey Clarke, don’t worry about it. You'll come back stronger from injury, I know you will!” she replies, giving me strength and reassurance, followed by a tight embrace.

“Thanks Tobs, love ya.”

“You too!” she replies, walking away to talk to some of the others, just as I turn around to find Alex Tobin calls back to me.

“Hey Clarke?”

“Yeah?”   
“Are you doing anything tomorrow afternoon?”

“No, why?”   
“Wanna hang out? Just the two of us.”

“Sure, sounds good! Text me later.”

“Ok, see you later!” Tobin shouts as she walks over towards a couple of our other players who played equally brilliant games today.

“Clarke?” I hear a familiar raspy voice behind me and swivel round and as expected see Alex. She has a beaming smile on her face, evidently pleased with how she played out there today. 

“Alex!! Oh my God you were so good again today! You're on fire scoring for us!”

“Thanks! It feels so good to be finding my form again this season, I'm loving it!” 

“That's so good! Love you girl.”

“Love you too! You need to swing by training sometime, we're all missing you!” 

“Ash thanks, I'm going to meet Dave on Monday morning to see if I can return to playing. We'll see!” 

“Ok, in that case all the best!” 

**“** Thanks, see you around!”

“See ya!” I reply, deciding to find Raven again and get outta here until the inevitable happens. Too late though…

“Clarke…?” I hear a timid voice from directly behind me and know exactly who it belongs to. I turn around and come face to face with an incredibly nervous and depressed looking Lexa. Immediately my heart breaks at the sight of her like this, she must have been like this all game, I couldn't see her face well enough to know. No wonder she wasn't finding her usual rhythm, she clearly isn't focused on anything at all.

“Yes Lexa…” I reply, more firmly that I would have liked, causing her to flinch and back away slightly. Anya catches my eye from over Lexa’s shoulder and gives me a short nod, probably trying to tell me just to hear her out.

“I...Actually, it's fine, don't worry....” She tries to walk away as fast as she can, but in this instance I'm faster.

“Lexa, wait!” 

I grab onto her wrist and turn her back around, immediately meeting her eyes and trying to formulate something to say. 

“Clarke can you let go please, you're hurting me.” I hadn’t realised that I'm still gripping her wrist tightly and immediately let go upon her request. 

“Shit! Sorry Lexa! I got distracted.” 

“That's ok…”   
“What did you want to say?”

“Oh um, it doesn’t matter..”   
“No, it does matter, of course it does!”

“I um...I just wanted to ask you to come back to our dorm...I...I miss you Clarke” Lexa finally blurts out, growing the confidence to tell me what she is thinking. I’m not too surprised by her request, I’ve been considering it all week, but to hear it coming from Lexa now, and seeing her like this is too much for me to bear. But I’m not ready yet…

“Sorry Lexa, but I can’t...not yet…”

“Why Clarke? Why not?”

“Because...because I still need some time. I hope you understand, this is hard for me.”

“No, I don’t understand Clarke, I can’t…” Lexa starts, before catching her words and realising how she sounds so much like the Lexa of the past, who she has vowed to move on from and change how she interacts with people. “But if that's what you need then its fine. I’ll still be here.”

“Thanks Lex, soon. I promise…”

“Ok, see you later…” Her brief glimpse of hope becomes that of disappointment once again and I feel so bad for her, but I just can’t, not yet. 

********

“Clarke, you good to go?” Tobin asks, having turned up on sunday afternoon as promised, after she had made her weekly commitment of going to Church. 

“Yep sure, where are we going?” I ask, curious because she seems to have something planned, I just don’t know what. We haven’t hung out in a while, well since Alex and Servando...I’ve missed Tobin’s chill!

“You’ll see…” She replies cheekily, turning and walking out the door without waiting for me to reply. She’s dressed in ripped skinny jeans and a diamond bar shirt, which looks remarkably like the one that Alex wears. Has she been helping herself to Alex’s wardrobe? Interesting… Of course she is wearing a snapback too, I mean it wouldn’t be Tobin without a snapback involved!

Tobin has her skateboard with her as she usually does, which she uses to get everywhere, especially on campus where she is rarely seen without a skateboard either being ridden or carried. She sets about doing tricks and jumps on our way into town, making full use of any sort of platform for her to jump off and riding around in circles waiting for me to catch up with my leisurely walking. Seriously she is such a dork! And yes, I’m finally off crutches and I couldn’t be happier at that wonderful feeling and the absence of that persistent clicking sound. 

“I know where we are going." I realise as we are making our way through town towards an area that not many people know, but those who do are very lucky. 

“Oh yeah, I knew you would." Tobin grins at me, unable to hide her happiness at seeing me excited at the prospect of having the best milkshakes across all of America!  

“Ohhhhhh this is sooo good!!!” I tell her, having had the first taste of my delicious strawberry topped chocolate milkshake.

“It does look really good! But hey you can't beat Oreo, you just can't!” Tobin replies, knowing full well that she is correct, Oreo is hands down the best flavour out there. But I wanted something different from the usual choice I make! 

“Hmmm I agree, but its still really fucking good.” I admit to her…

“So...how have you been?” Tobin finally asks, as I had been expecting this whole time. I knew she had realised something is up between Lex and I, I mean we haven’t exactly been discreet. 

“I'm holding out. Been staying at Ravens for the last week, her roommate is never in so its been easy going. Been hitting the gym hard getting that physio done and strengthening my ankle and it's feeling pretty stable now! That's it pretty much. You?”

“Ah just hanging out with Alex a lot, being her friend to help her get through this, but to be honest she's fine now. Back to normal I guess. Just focusing on soccer and enjoying everything as it comes.”

“Nice! How's things between you two?”

“Yeah really good, closer than ever I guess!”

“So that's why you’re wearing Alex’s shirt?” I ask playfully, enjoying the look of shock that appears on Tobins face at my deduction. 

“Hey! I know exactly what you mean by that! And anyway, I couldn’t find any clean clothes this morning but luckily Alex is on top of her washing unlike me…”

“Sure thing Tobin!” I cheekily reply, teasing her about her closeness to Alex.

“So you and Lexa...what's going on? “ Tobin asks, finally cutting to the point as I had expected her to do so at some point during this time.

“It's nothing...don’t worry.”

“You’re kidding, right? Of course it is something, you two clearly have some shit going on and I want to help you Clarke, I honestly do.”   
“Fine...I told her that I have feelings for her and she completely rejected me. That's it.”   
“Oh shit. I don’t understand though, Lexa clearly has feelings for you!”

“If only it was that easy…”

“Yeah, if only. I know how you feel though…”

“You do?” I reply, surprised at her confession. There must be something she isn’t telling me, but I have no idea what that might be…

“Yeah...But what I’ve learnt is that patience is above all things the most important thing that we need for situations like this. We might not like it at first, but in the long term it is for good.”

“I agree, that makes sense, I just don’t want to have to wait for her. It sucks!”   
“Yeah I know it sucks, but don’t worry just give it time. Have you spoken to her since?”   
“She came up to me after the game yesterday and asked me to move back in with her…”

“And??”   
“I told her that I’m not ready.”

“The hell? So you want her but you don’t want her??” Tobin asks me, confused at the situation and how we have both handled it. She isn’t wrong to be fair…

“I do but...I just don’t know how to trust her anymore. It sounds stupid but…”   
“No it doesn’t” Tobin interrupts… ”You obviously don’t feel comfortable anymore and it wouldn't make sense therefore to put yourself in a position where that feeling becomes a reality.”

“Exactly, I just don’t want to rush into things now, it wouldn’t be right and it wouldn’t be what is best for our friendship in the long run.”

“I think that’s all that needs saying for now. You know what to do, now you just gotta wait it out and see where that takes you.”

“Yeah, thanks for the help, I appreciate it.”

“No problem! Soooo you know how you said you would be top on assists yeah?” Tobin jibes, poking me in the ribs. Oh it's on alright...she is definitely going to regret that come the end of the season!

We make small talk for a little while longer, laughing and joking at all sorts of topics which come up. Honestly you don’t get people any more chill that Tobin, she's such a cool, down to earth girl. If her and Alex are possibly getting together, as I am starting to detect, then they will 100% make the cutest couple ever!

********

The next day is the agreed date with Dave for my ankle checkup, I can’t wait to be told that I can join training again. After some physio exercises and checkups Dave sits back and looks at me with a satisfying smile on his face. It seems like I’m in luck, right? Surely?

“So what does that mean?” I ask Dave, hoping for good news about my ankle, having been unable to do anything the last couple of weeks. I just want to play soccer!!!

“Well, the swelling has definitely gone now and from what our physio has passed on to me you look in good enough shape to go back to training this week.” Dave delivers the good new to me, just what I wanted to hear!

“Yes!!”

“But only light training for the first 2 days, then seeing how you get on you should be back to normal by the end of the week. Fingers crossed.”

“Thank you!”

“No problem, just take it easy at first, ok? We don’t want you back in here straight away and I’m pretty sure you don’t want that either.”

“Of course, I can’t wait to get back on the field. Is that all?”

“For now, yes. We’ll check up again on wednesday morning just to make sure all is good for you to be training properly again, ok?”   
“Sounds good, see you later!”

“Bye Clarke.”

 

I make my way straight back to Raven’s dorm to gather my soccer gear, then I make my way straight to the soccer fields, eager to get back to playing with the girls. Having come off crutches midway through last week it feels great to be able to move on my own feet again and to feel a soccer ball at my feet once more. The feeling like that of being home, which is something I find in soccer significantly more than at home with my mom under our currently strained relationship. She hasn’t even had time to call me yet, or just has decided against doing so, I don’t know. But it just shows where we are at with each other, especially considering my decision to come over here and pursue my soccer career, rather than following the path she laid out for me. 

“Clarke!!” Tobin shouts as soon as she sees me approaching the field with my soccer gear and a huge grin on my face from the good news. 

“Hey Tobin, hi everyone!” I shout as I walk towards where the team is warming up. The majority of the girls all shout over a hello to me, filling my heart with warmth and reminding me of this wonderful soccer family. 

“Clarke, great to have you back! Dave just emailed me to let me know that you’re back for light training for now. No getting out of that I'm afraid, we don't want any more injuries from you!” Cori lets me know, making it clear that for now it will only be light training. Minimal work with a soccer ball for now and absolutely no scrimmage yet, but if all goes right then it won't be long until I'm back to full training, considering all the gym work I've put in. 

“I know.” I admit, knowing full well that I need to trust the medical team and not my soccer instincts just yet. 

Training turns out to be so tough going for me, I've lost some fitness from the few weeks I've spent on crutches, however thanks to the gym work it definitely could have been a lot worse than it is. That doesn't rule out the fact that I'm out of breath way before anyone else, but I keep going and keep pushing because I want nothing more than to be able to play soccer again as soon as possible. 

Later, while the team is scrimaging, Cori has me doing some simple passing exercises, to get me back into the rhythm. One of the drills involves 4 wooden boards surrounding me while I stand in the middle. The idea is to pass the ball against a board, control whilst on the turn when it bounces back and then pass in another direction and repeat. It's a good workout for my ankle because of the control and turn, which I take easy at first whilst testing the waters with my ankle. She has me doing various other drills, keeping me occupied and helping me build confidence in myself that I am strong enough now to play. 

The whole time I can't help but find myself stealing glances at Lexa, she still looks demotivated and definitely not herself. Usually in training she is shouting and commanding our players like she is a player-manager. She is the most vocal player on our team, alongside Anya, so to see her like this, is so disheartening and I know I need to do something. Definitely by the time of our next game at the weekend, especially with national team call ups on the close horizon, Lexa is definitely in contention for a place, looking at her form up until the last week or so. Maybe Tobin was right and that I'm simply delaying the inevitable, that if I really do have feelings for her why am I the one making her wait. Why can't life be straight forward? 


	10. Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke makes her return from injury  
> Clarke says 'yes'  
> Lots of soccer games in this chapter - but also some fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having major surgery on Thursday :/  
> Therefore I don't know what will happen with regards to the next chapter - I might upload a short chapter before my operation (around 3000 words maybe) but failing that I will post an update if I know I won't be able to upload for a while.  
> I hope everyone enjoys this chapter and that it finally delivered a bit of what everyone wanted!!  
> Thank you for all your comments and support - I love reading predictions, plot ideas and just some lovely comments that motivate me to write more :D thank you all! <3  
> Oh and check out Tobin's crazy run from the game last night vs Dash - the backheel and then the fakes, I was defo expecting a flip flap when she faced off the defender xD  
> Also some of you may recognise her goal in this chapter from a week ago :p  
> \- p.s. s/o to my beta - themvofangirl

**Clarke pov**

 

The week passes pretty quickly, Dave allows me to return to full training from on wednesday and before I know it it’s game day once again and I get that lovely buzz from waking up and realising I have a soccer match today! I really want to be involved in the team but I’m also fully prepared for disappointment due to the fact that I’ve only been back playing for a few days and Cori might think it's too soon for me to be involved. Either way I’m raring ready to go and so motivated to play some soccer!

“You’re looking particularly cheerful today Clarke?” Raven comments, as I plop myself down next to her with my breakfast.

“Its game day! I’m gonna kick some ass out there today!” I reply, grinning from ear to ear at the prospect of running with the ball at my feet and gliding past opposition players. A feeling that nothing else seems to be able to beat so far in my life!

“Ah of course! I’ll be there as always, cheering you on!”  
“Thanks Rae, you're the best!”

“I already know, but to hear you say it makes it even more clear.”  
“Ok now you can shut up Rae before your head’s too big to fit through the door on your way out.” I joke, laughing at her already too inflated ego.

“Whatever Griffin, you’re just jealous of how fabulous I am.” Raven replies, showing once more why we all love her and hate her.

 

“Ok, so training this week has been excellent once again and so many of you have really impressed me with your work rate and your commitment to this team. UNC are going to be a little tougher than Arizona State, we will need to give our all if we want to keep this unbeaten run going. I believe you’re all completely capable, we know what to do, we know how to play, we know how to win. The lineups are as follows…”  
I suddenly spark to life at the mention of lineups. Cori is doing her gameday morning talk in preparation for the game this afternoon. I’ve been working so hard to get into the starting team for the game, extra training sessions and fitness building in the gym. I feel good and fresh and ready to make a difference in this game.

“Marissa, Alessa, Tobin, Alex, Lexa... “ Clarke?? No Clarke?? Did I miss my name? Did Cori miss me out?? Shit…

“That'll be all for now, let me know if there are any issues between now and the game. See you all later!” Cori wraps up her talk and walks out of the room. I swiftly follow her, determined to find out if I'm playing or not…

“Cori?? Do you have a minute?” I ask, as she makes her way down the corridor towards her office.

“Sure, what's up Clarke?” Cori responds, her eyes resting on me and a look of understanding on her face at the situation I assume she predicted would happen.

“Did I miss something or am I not starting today?”

“I didn't think it would be right for you to start this game. You only just got back from injury and I know how hard you've been working but it's just too early.”

“But…” I start, before being interrupted by Cori...

“No buts, I am not risking you aggravating any injury, especially with another game midweek before internationals. It's not happening Clarke. I'm sorry.”

“Urghhh ok fine, I understand...Thanks.” I turn and walk away, suddenly feeling so unmotivated and let down after all the hard work I've been putting in. But I know deep down that its for the best, that Cori has the best intentions with her actions. But that doesn't mean I'm not disappointed, it just makes me more motivated to fight for a place in the starting team once more.

 

“I'll kick some butt out there for you Clarke!” Tobin tells me as I walk over towards the subs bench and she makes her way onto the pitch.

“Thanks Tobs, you got this! I'll be cheering you on from here.” I let her know, feeling like today is going to be a good game.

“Thanks! I'm sure Cori will give you some minutes, don't you worry.”

“I hope so, good luck!” I shout after her, as she takes her position on the left of the field, on the opposite side from me.

The game kicks off and from the get go it becomes apparent that the luck we have been riding won't be with us today. Alex hits the post after 2 minutes, Octavia miss kicks in front of an open goal, following some scrappy corner defending from UNC. Lexa still seems to be having a nightmare with her form, she still looks a shadow of herself.

An unfortunate deflection, after a shot from one of the UNC attackers, hits the arm of Anya, who knew nothing about it. It was never deliberate but the ref isn't having any of it and awards a penalty to UNC completely against the flow of play.

Our players immediately crowd the referee, citing the handball rule and demanding a second opinion from another official but they are all turned away. I even started shouting from the bench, but a killer glare from Cori puts a swift end to it.

Their taker steps up, after the arguments die down, and following the whistle buries the ball into the bottom left corner, sending Harper (our keeper) the wrong way.

Their whole team celebrates the goal whilst ours stands army are not to sure how to react to the drama. Cori shouts encouragement from the touchline, issuing a wakeup call to our team.

However before we know it the situation becomes worse, again though, some unfortunate defending. A UNC winger, who goes by the name Heather O’Reilly, cuts inside and takes a speculative long shot. The ball skims along the surface and ricochets off the post thankfully, however the ball bounces off the inside of the post and into the path of Harper, who had dived down low to make the save. I watch on, as if the world is suddenly in slow motion, as the ball deflects in off our keeper and into the back of the net, making the score 2-0 to UNC with possibly one of the most unfortunate goals conceded that I've ever seen.

After that second freak goal our heads seem to drop, our team has definitely been on top this game but are somehow down 2-0 completely against the run of play. Cori shouts words of encouragement but nothing she says seems to have any sort of effect on the players. Sitting here on the bench is the worst feeling right now, I wish more than anything that I could be out on that pitch making the difference for this team, but that isn’t to be. We just about manage to scrape by to half time with the score remaining the same, much to the relief of our players.

“OK… I don’t know what the hell just happened so far, but we need to forget about it. It’s in the past and it doesn’t matter now. What matters now is that each one of you focuses on the fact that we have played some really great soccer, we have created some great chances and have just been unlucky. I know, and you all know, that if we keep doing what we are doing and be persistent then the goals will come in the next 45 minutes. I believe in each of you, we’ve got this, ok!?!” Cori finishes, producing grins and raised spirits after the catastrophe of a first half.

I speak to both Alex and Tobin, encouraging them and reminding them of how amazing this season has been so far and that the both of them are the stars of our team, the fighting spirit that keeps us all in each and every game. I also spend a brief moment consoling Anya over the penalty decision but in usual Anya style she doesn’t seem at all affected, she just shrugs and tells me that it doesn’t matter.

Our team heads out after some more specific tactical tweaks from Cori and some chatting between players. The team is lifted and no longer are our players heads drooping towards the ground. It’s noticeable from the bench, I just have this feeling that this half will go the other way, that we can turn this fight around!

After 10 minutes of some rather tense play the ball breaks from our box to Tobin, who looks up and notices that UNC have committed a lot of players forward and realizes the opportunity to counter attack in a split second. She immediately drives with the ball forward down the left flank, unopposed by the rapidly retreating UNC players. The first defender goes for the ball and some quick feet from Tobin and a feint to the left means she powers into the middle of the pitch, past the player and into a position of threat. She notices Alex making a diagonal run across the defence and slips the ball between two unsuspecting defenders. Both are unable to get a toe to the ball and Alex gathers it in her stride into the box, 1 on 1 with the goalkeeper. She fakes the shot and knocks the ball to the left of the keeper and creates the tap in for an open goal. However the trailing leg from a sliding defender takes her feet from underneath her and Alex collapses down, unable to get the final necessary touch on the ball. Immediately the referee blows their whistle and awards the clear and obvious penalty, receiving no complaints from any UNC players. Unsurprisingly so, the ref then produces a red card, for the denial of a clear goalscoring opportunity by a last defender. Surely this is the moment, right!!

Alex picks up the ball, after composing herself from the reckless and painful tackle. She sets it down on the spot and after some delays between the ref and UNC players  finally its all clear for the penalty.

Alex faces off against the UNC keeper, Ashlyn Harris, who according to Cori has made a name for herself the few years that she has been there.

The whistle blows and Alex steps up to the ball, she kicks it in her stride and sends it into the right hand side of the goal. The shot has great power behind it and looks to be going into the bottom corner. However their keeper has other ideas and just about manages to get a strong hand behind the ball, pushing it past the post and denying Alex her goal.

The whole UNC team crowds their keeper, while Alex stands there on the spot stunned by what just happened. It was a good penalty, but an equally brilliant save.

The game continues in our favour, our team giving their all and really pushing the now deep defensive line of UNC. Finally after 68 minutes the pressure is broken, Octavia carries the ball out of defence and drives forward looking to spark a moment of magic. She plays a flawless ball over the top of the UNC defence to Alex, showing off her ball playing talent as a centre back. Alex, with her back to goal, takes the ball down on her chest, swivels around and hits the ball on the volley, sending it flying past the goalkeeper and smashing into the back of the net! Finally the breakthrough for our team and in the most spectacular, dramatic way! The celebrations are minimal, from what I can see the resounding emotion is one of relief…

With 20 minutes left to play plus any added time Cori instructs me to warm up, ready to make an appearance. I can't hold in the feeling of overwhelming excitement and anticipation. The game is perfectly poised for a grand finish and I want to be the one to make the difference and grab us a much deserved point at least. With 15 minutes left to make a difference I come on for Marissa, congratulating her on her hard work and effort. UNC seem to have done their homework because from the moment I get onto the pitch it seems that I have at least two players marking me, it's frustrating but workable because it's not like this hasn't happened before. Play goes on but still no equaliser, despite our pressing and countless chances to get back into it. Their goalkeeper is having an unbelievable game, keeping UNC in the game and by the looks of things earning them a vital 3 points. With 2 minutes left, Lexa powers down the right flank, looking rejuvenated with me now on the pitch. She skips past one defender and cuts inside onto her left foot, looking for an angle to shoot. I immediately know what is going to happen, it's Lexa after all! She draws her foot back to strike the ball and kicks through, however at the last moment she changes her mind, faking instead and pushing the ball to her stronger right food. The defender lunging in to block the shot notices all too late and instead of making contact with the ball swings out a leg, sending Lexa sprawling to the ground. Suddenly all I feel is anger, I don't know why but I can't control myself and I find myself rushing over towards Lexa.

“What the hell?!?!” I immediately shout at the defender who throws up their arms in supposed innocence.

“I was going for the ball!” they reply, very unconvincingly and with what I am sure is a smirk on their face.

“Like hell you were, you could have injured her.”

“She's fine, piss off.” She tells me, brushing it off like it was nothing...

“I'm sorry? Say that again...go on…” I start, getting really mad at the antics of this arrogant, idiotic defender.

“Clarke, leave it. It's not worth it.” Anya instructs me, grabbing me by the shoulders and pulling me away from the opposition player.

“But she…”

“I don't care, we have points to rescue, not fights to start. Ok?”

“Okay….”

I know what I want to do now, I walk over to Lexa, who is placing the ball down where the foul took place, just outside the box.

“Hey Lexa…”

“Yes?”

“Please can I have this? I really need to take this kick.”

“I won it, I'm our free kick taker Clarke. I'm having it.”

“Please Lexa…” I plead to her, giving her puppy eyes that she has been guilty of using on me so many times on the past!

“Are you sure? I've never seen you take any before?”

“Not recently, but it's not something you forget. I'm confident…”

“Ok, I trust you Clarke…”

“You do?”

“Of course I do!” She smiles shyly at me, our eyes meeting briefly for the first time in weeks. “Thanks! I'll repay your faith with a screamer.” I say half jokingly, but fired up and motivates to put one over the ball and into the goal.

Once the ref has the wall sorted out and was happy they signalled to us that the free kick is ready to be taken. I've set the ball down already and Lexa and I take a few steps back, both of us lining up to take it, trying to add confusion to the scenario.

On the whistle Lexa steps forward, so do I, but unlike Lexa I continue forward and focus solely on the ball and the goal. I can do this, I know I can. I've done it so many times before under more pressure than this. I block everything out and kick the ball, my left foot planted and my right foot angled to kick across the ball and follow through, landing on my kicking leg. The ball flies over the wall, barely spinning, flying completely straight. Then suddenly the ball dips and perfectly arcs downwards after clearing the wall, heading for the top right corner. I stand there, willing it to hit the back of the net. The metallic clang of the ball hitting the crossbar brings my hopes crashing down. But as I watch in slow motion the ball also crashes down, off the crossbar and onto the ground below the goal. Did it cross the line???? I watch, shell shocked as the rest of my team turn to the ref to confirm the decision. The UNC players are all shouting “No goal!” Our players are shouting the opposite. After a moment of tension the ref make the decision, bringing the whistle to their lips and pointing towards the centre circle. GOAL! I did it! We did it! Its only one point, not three, but it's the least we deserve from the game today. The thought registers just before I’m engulfed by the whole of our team, everyone shouting and cheering...I can’t believe it!!! My eyes momentarily rest on the defender who brought Lexa down outside the box, I can’t help but smirk at her which received a glare in response.

“Clarke you fucking beautiful human!” Anya shouts, showing more emotion that I’ve ever seen from her in my time here.

“Teach me how to take free kicks like that!” Tobin jokes, grinning that megawatt smile at the sheer excitement of the moment.

Once the celebrations come to an abrupt end at the command of the ref, Lexa is the last one remaining, standing over me as I lie there rather squashed from all the bodies that had jumped on me! She offers me a hand up, which I graciously accept, smiling up at her as she helps me stand.

“You didn’t let me down…” Lexa states, meeting my eyes, searching for any sort of emotions that she can find.  
“I didn’t intend to…”

“I’m still our free kick taker though.”

“Of course you are, Commander.” I tell her as we take up our positions for the final few seconds of the match after the restart.  

The match ends moments after and we all celebrate it as if it was a victory. In some ways it is. To come back from 2-0 down after such a freakish first half is a real accomplishment and we did ourselves proud today.

We go around shaking hands with the UNC players, congratulating them on a rollercoaster of a game. I especially take time to praise their goalkeeper Ashlyn, who seems a pretty cool chick, a talented one at that!

Afterwards, in the dressing room, I take a lovely warm shower. I only played a few minutes and barely covered any ground in that time, but the adrenaline alone was enough. I’m one of the last ones to leave, along with Lexa, who I have a feeling took her time on purpose.

“Hey Clarke?”  
“Yes?” I reply, hesitant as to what she might have to say after I undermined her by taking the free kick instead of her.

“Come back to our dorm please?” she asks, breaking my heart once again at the emotions overwhelming her speech. I couldn’t bring myself to say yes last time, but the words of Anya and Tobin fall fresh in my mind.

“Yes.” I choke out finally, having taken a moment to consider the simple question but one with so much meaning behind it. I step forward and after reading her for permission and noticing a slight nod I engulf her in a warm hug.

After some time I notice a wetness on my shoulder, I pull away slowly, so not to alarm Lexa from any suddenness. My eyes are immediately drawn to her face which is wet with tears, her eyes blurry from crying.

“Lexa…” my voice cracks at seeing her like this “What’s wrong?”

“Its ok Clarke.” she reassures me, filling me with relief. “I’m not sad, I’m happy, I’m so happy...I ...I missed you so much!” she pulls me back into the hug which lasts for what feels like hours.

“Shall we go back then?” I ask her, which draws an immediate nod from Lexa and a huge grin across her face.

“Yes, lets…”

********

“So how have you been?” I ask Lexa once we are back to our dorm, cringing at the question I had come up with.

“I've been better…Been missing you like crazy. Going to bed at nights in silence and waking up to an empty room has been weird…”

“I'm sorry Lexa. You know I couldn't, I needed time.”

“Its ok Clarke, I understand your decision.”

“Thanks Lex, I'm sorry I really am. It broke my heart seeing you so sad!”

“But it's ok now, we're ok…” after a silence engulfs the room Lexa continues… "So what now?” She asks, I slightly panic at the question. I hadn't thought this far ahead, I have no idea what to do now, how to move onward.

“Don't know...I guess I'll move my stuff back here from Ravens, if you'll have me still that is?”

“Of course I want you here Clarke. I wouldn't have it any other way!”

“Me neither, it was only a matter of time and now we start to go back to how things were before.” I tell Lexa, but I know inside that it's much easier said than done. I've tried the whole ‘act natural’ thing before, it never really works. But this time I know it's different, I don't know what it is, I just know.

“I would like that, but also we need to talk about what happened.” Lexa states, bringing back that awful night to my memory.

“Another time Lex, please not now.”

“Sure, but soon?”

“Ok.” I reply, knowing that it's something that needs to happen. I can think straight now, I’ve given it time and now I’m ready, I know it

********

In just a few days it's wednesday, game time again already, our first midweek game of the season and the final game before international call ups. I’ve been rooming with Lexa once again and we’re back on good terms however it’s obviously taking time for the slightly awkward atmosphere to depart. I’ve noticed that something is definitely playing on her mind, something completely unrelated to us, something that is important to her but I can’t work it out. I decide that I need to talk to her before the game today, I’ve seen her playing recently and I can’t bear seeing her underplaying compared to her crazy potential. I seize the opportunity during breakfast to question her on what it might be.

“Hey Lex, are you ok?” I ask, noticing her toying with her breakfast but seemingly unable or simply unwilling to eat anything. I know something is up because she usually wolfs up her food on the morning of a game day.

“I’m fine thanks.” She replies, in the classic way of denial in the most unconvincing manner possibly.

“Lex…?”

“I’m worried I won’t be called up for internationals. This is my first chance, Anya was first called up this time last year. I just want to be able to follow in her footsteps.”

“You’ll be fine Lex, honestly! You’re the best player on our team by far, I can’t see how in any way possible they could miss you. It would be impossible.”

“But I’ve played so bad the last couple of games, I’ve been awful. They won’t want me, I’m not good enough.”

“Lexa for fucks sake listen to yourself! Who are you to say that you can’t be called up because of a couple of bad games, everyone has off days. Maybe you weren’t at your best, but the other 99% of games you are way above the level of anyone else out there. You’ve got this, don’t worry about it!”

“Thanks Clarke, you’re right…”  
“So today you’re gonna prove to yourself that you own that national team place, that you belong on the camp alongside the best young players in this country, ok?”

“Ok, thanks Clarke, I’m going to try my hardest today to prove myself!”

“And I’ll be there with you, hopefully. If Cori picks me to start this time…”

“Of course she will, look at the last game, you only had 15 minutes or so on the pitch but the way you impacted the game was obvious!”

“OK, let's do this together. We can help each other out so much in this game, lets go out there tonight and kick some ass!”

“Yes!”

 

We spend the rest of the day chilling, after some light exercises led by Cori in the morning in preparation for the evening game. It’s always special to play in the evening, it's always a completely different atmosphere, I always love it. The floodlight pitch always looks spectacular with the dark sky around. I can’t wait to get started and to show that the injury is behind me, that I’m back to my best and motivated to go out there and play the best game that I can.

“I know there will be some slightly tired legs out there today but we have momentum and that is the most important thing. We are unbeaten so far in the league for a reason and that reason can be displayed once again tonight if we give it our all. We can beat USC, we know what to do, we’ve trained for it, now go out there and enjoy it!” Cori finishes her pre game team talk and we all cheer together, shouting “Bears!” and getting hyped for the game about to begin.

Unfortunately the game doesn’t start quite as we planned, USC played on friday so they have had an extra day rest and it seems to show with their bursts of energy compared to our slightly drained performance from the get go. One of their midfielders plays an exquisite through ball to their striker Rodriguez, who makes the finish look easy, slotting the ball under our sliding keeper to make it 1-0. Anya shouts at us all to wake up and to start playing soccer, which does the job, firing us up and motivating us from the restart.

We play some lovely one touch soccer and in a matter of minutes the scores become all square once again...I play the ball out wide to Lexa, having skipped past two of their midfielders. She takes it in her stride and powers towards the byline, looking for the opportunity to present itself for her to cross the ball into the box. She notices the late run of Tobin and drives the ball hard and low across the 6yrd box into the path of the arriving Tobin from the other flank. One of the defenders slides in and just about gets a touch on it, sending the ball spiralling into the air, however Tobin anticipated the touch and has lined up for the volley. She stretches her right leg high and slices down the ball with her foot, sending it spinning back towards the goal with the most flawless technique possible. There is nothing that their goalkeeper can do to stop the ball flying into the upper right hand corner! The joy of scoring sweeps across our team as we all run to hug and celebrate with Tobin, before taking our positions once again with the aim to take the lead of this game.

At half time the score is still level annoyingly. USC has sat back and defended the rest of the half, not allowing any space in behind for Alex to run into and not allowing us to play proper soccer. Cori encourages us, reminding us of the three points at stake here considering the dropped points last game. This is a game that we should be winning, which gives us extra reason to give our all together as a team.

After half time we continue as we had left off before the interval, unfortunately so does USC, who sit deep soaking up the pressure and looking to hit us on the counter attack. However our patience and perseverance eventually pays off and in the 78th minute Alex gets her goal, a powerful header from one of my corners. She beats her marker and jumps high above all others and using her strong neck muscles using her flawless technique to power the ball past the rooted USC goalkeeper. We all crowd around her celebrating the breakthrough and congratulating her on the awesome header.

USC are forced to come out of their half following the restart, looking for an equaliser to rescue their game plan which has evidently gone out of the window following our go ahead goal. This opens the game up and in a short amount of time we get another goal, killing off the game, making it almost impossible for USC to get anything from this game now. The goal is such a satisfying one, emphasising the beauty of soccer, its the sort of goal any sports fan would appreciate. Lexa and I play a few one-two passes on the right flank, bypassing a couple of USC players as if they were ghosts. I’m quickly closed down by another player from my side and wait for them to be alongside me, in an instant I knock the ball diagonally to the side having calculated their stride, the ball passes through their legs and into the path of Lexa. She then takes on the opposition left back, knocking the ball to one side of the defender and running around the other side the helpless defender, beating them with her raw speed and power having wrong footed them. I sprint as fast as I can, making myself available on the edge of the box, drawing one of the remaining two defenders towards me and away from Lexa, who is naturally the biggest threat which is what makes my play so important. Lexa beats the final defender one on one easily and finishes by chipping the ball cooly over the outstretched goalkeeper. She immediately turns and runs towards me, jumping into my arms, almost knocking me over which would have been embarrassing! I’m so happy for her, I know how important this game is for her, for her international future but also her confidence going forward. I hug her tightly before setting her down once the rest of the team arrive, allowing for them to congratulate her and do their various high fives.

Before not too long the ref signals for full time, the shrill sound of the whistle rings out, bringing the game to an end, although really it had been over since Lexa’s goal. We shake hands with the opposition players, thanking them for a good game and wishing them good luck for their other games. I manage to catch their striker, who tells me her name is Amy Rodriguez, I saw her talent on display today and wanted to encourage her and let her know that she has a bright future! She says the same to me, smiling and being really nice considering we had just beaten her team. I manage to find Tobin and give her a satisfying high five, one of the ones that makes a great sound but leaves your hands stinging afterwards. I also manage to give Alex a hug before we make our way to the dressing room, eager to shower off and personally I’m looking forward to sleeping of course…

********

“Lexa for fucks sake stop pacing, you’re not helping yourself.”  
“Sorry, I just can’t wait any longer. Surely they should have rung by now?” Lexa asks, as if I know the answer. She has been pacing back and forth in our dorm all morning since we got back from breakfast and I know it's the worst thing she can be doing right now.

“Right! That's it! We’re going out and you’re going to have fun and stop fretting about the inevitable. I mean come on, they would have to be blind to not pick you.”

“No, I need to wait here!”

“Nope, we’re going.” I walk over to her and push her towards the door, not giving her any say in the matter. She needs something to take her mind off her worrying.

I decide that the best thing will be to take a soccer ball out to the park and have a kick around for a bit and chill out, hopefully to peel Lexa from her phone. Checking it every 30 seconds isn’t going to make it ring after all.

“Nooooo Clarke!” Lexa protests, but it's too late and she knows that I will always out stubborn her when it comes to decisions between us.

I grab a ball from under my bed and drag Lexa out of our room by the hand, making sure she won’t run back inside and lock me out. We get a few funny looks from people on our way out of campus at the sight of me dragging Lexa along behind me like she is a little toddler, which to be honest I sometimes wonder if she is!

After a while of passing the ball between us we notice some younger girls walking around as if they are looking for something, or someone. Eventually they approach us, which confuses me a first because neither Lexa or I have a clue what they might want.

“Hi! I’m Natalie and this is Liv.” One of the girls introduces them enthusiastically. I judge that they must be around 14 or 15 years old. “We were wondering if you would join our pickup game, we need some more players. Pleaseeeee!” The girl asks, provoking Lexa to look over at me, shrugging and telling me that she doesn’t mind.

“Sure, we would love to, where are you playing?”

“We’re just on the other side of these trees, follow me.” the other girl instructs us, turning and walking across the park towards an area of the park that I didn’t know existed. There is a small soccer pitch with a bunch of other girls around the same age of the two that approached us.

“We've got two more, so that makes four a side. Are we good to start?” Liv asks, receiving some nods and positive responses from the other girls. They sort out teams, dividing Lexa and I onto different teams which takes the competitive edge to a whole new level. Obviously the girls won’t know that we play soccer at college so there might be a surprise or two in this game for them, however Lexa and I agree to shoot as little as possible.

The game gets underway and I receive the ball straight away form Liv and face off against one of their players, whose name I didn’t catch. I fake a pass off to the left and instead knock the ball through the players legs as they stretch to block what they thought was going to be a pass. I gather the ball on the other side of the player and look up to see Liv powering down my right, I flick the ball with the outside of my boot into her path and she strikes the ball into the far corner of the goal making it 1-0!

“Dammit, you’re good!” the girl who I pulled off a nutmeg on states as I jog back to defend, earning a chuckle from me and a few words of agreement from the other girls. Unfortunately Lexa is now on the ball, motivated from being 1-0 down. She sprints past one of our players, nutmegs another and plays the ball past me, as I try to reach it unsuccessfully, and Natalie calmy scores into our goal.

“You’re good as well!” one of the other girls exclaims, which receives a grin from Lexa…”better than Clarke!” she then continues, which I disagree with and argue against but to no avail.

The game continues much like it started, with Lexa and I both dictating much of the game but trying as much as possible to help set up and encourage the younger girls on our teams. By time the game comes to an end the score is 16-11, Lexa’s team comfortably beating us thanks to her obvious superiority, proving that she really has nothing to worry about in terms of not being called up.

“Do you two play for teams?” one of the girls who was on Lexa’s team asks, seemingly excited at having been able to play with us ‘older’ girls.

“We both have soccer scholarships at UCB!” I reply, surprising the girls who seem to be in awe of us.

“That's so cool! I want to play soccer when I’m older.” Liv tells me, at which I can’t help but laugh and tell her that it’s the best thing she can possibly do.

“You can if you put your mind to it! Practice every day and if you work hard then your dream will become a reality, like it is for Lexa and I.” I encourage her and the others who are listening to me. “You’re all super talented and each one of you is capable! Come watch our games if you like, it would be cool to have some extra fans for our team!” I joke, earning a laugh and agreement from Lexa.

“Clarke can we head off please? I can’t wait any longer to find out!!!” Lexa whines at me, pouting and trying every possible method to persuade me to go back to our dorm.

“Sure, I think we have achieved what we set out to do, now it's only fair you get your way I guess…”

“Yes!!” Lexa first pumps and makes an embarrassment of herself from her over excitement but she really doesn’t seem to care right now.

“Alright we’re going to head off now. This cutie here is awaiting confirmation that she will be going on the national U20's camp next week!” I tell the girls, which is well received with looks of shock and disbelief that they had just played soccer with Lexa!

“Well...um...maybe” Lexa remarks, but I quickly dismiss her argument in favour of what I know will surely be the truth.

Finally we leave the park, making our way back towards campus at a brisk pace, thanks to Lexa.

“Shit I have a missed call!!!!” Lexa cries out, checking her phone as soon as we get back into her dorm. Dammit I’m going to feel so bad if it was ‘the call’, but she can easily call back or something.

“Did they leave a message?” I ask, hopeful that Lexa’s anxiety all day will finally be lifted after all her pacing about and fidgeting when she thought I wasn’t looking.

“Oh, it was Anya…” Lexa replies, her face dropping slightly at the disappointment that it wasn’t what she thought it would be.

“Well, you should probably call her anyway.” I tell Lexa, knowing that if it’s Anya then it is probably very important.

“What if they call while I’m on the phone to Anya?” Lexa worries, getting a bit ridiculous now. But I understand what she is feeling, it's a huge moment for her in her soccer career!

“Lexa don’t worry, seriously...Just call your cousin, it’ll probably be important…” I stress to Lexa, which is followed by a nod and by her clicking the call button on her phone.

After a brief pause while the phone rings, I hear a voice from the speaker of Lexa’s phone. However its just out of my hearing range so I can’t make out what Anya is saying, I can only go by Lexa’s replies…

 

_“Hey An!_

_Yes I’m ok thanks, just been chilling with Clarke…_

_We went to the park and played a pickup game with some random girls who asked us to play…_

_No…_

_Oh right…_

_Wow! Well done An!!!! I knew you would make it again!_

_That’s so cool!_ _  
_ _No I haven’t…_

_I don’t think so…_

_I know, hopefully..._

_Ok, I’ll catch you later maybe._

_Bye!”_

 

Lexa hangs up and as soon as the phone is away from her ear she breaks out into tears, presumably at the knowledge that she hasn’t been called up for the nationals.

“What happened Lex?” I ask, trying to work out what the situation is…

“Anya got called up, she got a phone call a few hours ago confirming her place on the camp. I haven’t had anything yet Clarke, I haven’t made the squad..” Seeing Lexa rambling on uncontrollably like this breaks my heart once more. She deserved it so much, how the hell did they not pick her??? Are they blind??

“Hey, there is still time. You never know!” I tell Lexa, trying to reassure her, however it is evident that it is increasingly unlikely to happen…I wrap my arms around her and pull her into a hug, hoping to soothe her emotions and give her some love in this difficult moment. I feel wetness on my shoulder and can hear her sobs next to my ear and it pains me so so much.

At that precise moment Lexa’s phone rings, sending her scrambling across to her bed to pick it up from where she had dropped it moments ago. I feel a flicker of hope within me, but at the same time it wouldn’t make sense since Anya was called several hours ago. But for Lexa I hope more than anything that it is the call she deserves and has worked so hard for!!

She answers the call and I sit down, waiting in anticipation as to who it might be on the other end of the phone…

 

_“Hello…_

_Yes, I’m Lexa Woods…”_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(sorry xD )


	11. About time!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short but sweet.  
> Things progress dramatically and we find out who made it to the national youth team!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised here is a short chapter as I don't know when I'll next be able to upload!  
> I'm currently in the pre-op ward, waiting to go into the operating theatre :o  
> Wish me luck!  
> Oh and btw this is probably the chapter most of you have been waiting for, enjoy! ;)  
> Thanks for the support, love you all! <3

**Clarke pov**

_“Pleased to meet you, Jitka…”_

_“Yes, she is my cousin…”_

_“We're close, I spoke to her earlier…”_

_“I know, she told me.”_

_“Mmm yep"_

_“Oh my God are you serious?????”_ _  
_ _“Thank you so much!!!”_

 _“Yes of course, I will repay your faith, don’t worry!”_ _  
_ _“See you Sunday! Thank you so so much!”_

_“Bye!!! Thank you again!!! Yes, goodbye!”_

“Was that?” I ask, my hopes suddenly lifted by what I can only assume is the call that Lexa had been waiting for all day.

“I’m in!!! Holy shit Clarke I actually made the cut!”

“I’m so proud of you girl!!! I knew you had nothing to worry about!”  
“Thanks Clarke, thanks for believing in me.” Lexa reponds, smiling at me, her forest like green eyes illuminated with excitement, but also another feeling that I can’t quite decipher.

“It wasn’t hard, Lex. I never doubted because you’re amazing and you deserve this more than you seem to realise!” I try to tell her from my perspective. It’s true, I never doubted that she would be considered good enough for the youth national team. I need her to know that I have faith in her and that she needs to have more faith in herself!  
“Thank you Clarke. You know what this means to me!”  

I walk the few paces over to her and pull her into hug, embracing her and showing her that it means a lot to me too. That seeing Lexa happy gives her life…

“Lex...I…” I stutter on my words, trying to formulate a sentence to her that will be coherent.

“What Clarke?” Lexa asks, pulling back from the warm embrace, here brilliant green orbs meeting mine.

“I'm ready...I’m ready to talk about...us…” I finally admit to her, encouraged by the moment and my constant ache to just tell her how I feel once again…

“Not now Clarke, I need to enjoy this moment, I need to talk to Anya!! But hey, I promise that we will sort this out my before I leave. I promise, ok?” Lexa reassures me, slightly dampening my hopes, making me feel like she is stalling because she doesn't have feelings for me. That it will just be a repeat of last time.

At that thought tears start building up, but I hold them back, afraid that Lexa will notice. I don't need any more drama…

“Clarke? Hey, Clarke. I promise...promise means promise. Please believe me!” She responds, my masking of my emotions clearly was seen right through by her. But to see her reply in such a way does help me to trust her, knowing that maybe it will turn out well in the end.

“I trust you.” I tell her, smiling a weak smile, making eye contact once again.

“I trust you too. Now I need to go see Anya, I'll see you later” we say our goodbyes and she practically skips out of the room, eager to share the news with her cousin…

 

**Alex pov**

Tobin and I have been playing Mario Smash bros all day, as usual Tobin is kicking my ass relentlessly and isn't showing any signs of that changing any time soon. Luckily for me however, our game is interrupted by the sound of my phone ringing. A sound both of us have been eagerly anticipating all day, the sound that quite possibly brings another chapter to both our stories! I throw down my controller, much to the dismay of Tobin and sprint across to my where my phone is on my bed, not risking missing the call…

_“Hello…_

_Yep, Alex speaking!_

_Uh huh…_

_That's great! Thank you!”_

From across the room Tobin shouts over at me, interrupting the call…“Did you make it?!?”

I simply nod while grinning at her, earning a cheer from Tobin an entertaining fist pump in the air.

_“Is that Tobin Heath, by any chance?”_

_“Yes it is, how did you…?”_

_“I do my homework on you all before deciding who's coming and who isn't. I happen to know that you two have played together since you were kids and that you room together…”_

_“Oh right…”_

_“Why don't you call her over and put me on speaker so I can talk to her too…?”_

_“Sure…”_

“Hey Tobs? Can you come over here please?”

“But I'm in the middle of…”

“It's important!”

“Ok, ok!” She responds, pausing the game and swiftly making her way over…” I press the speaker button and place my phone down on the bed…

“ _Tobin Heath?”_

_“Thats me…”_

_“Hi, I'm Jitka Klimková, the national under 20’s coach…”_

_“Pleased to meet you!”_

_“I just wanted to let you know that I’m also calling you up to the camp. Congratulations!”_

_“Yes!! Thanks!”_

_“You earned it. I'll send you both further details soon, other than that I'll see you both on Sunday!”_

_“Thanks you!” We both shout, thrilled to be included in the camp._

_“That's alright, you saved me an extra phone call today thanks"_

_“You're welcome" Tobin cheekily agrees which draws a chuckle from the lady on the other side of the phone._

 

We both thank her once again before ending the call, individually processing the information that we have both just been given. My eyes meet hers and in a split second we boh jump up off the bed and into each other's arms, celebrating the achievement together. We’ve come so far together and now to be venturing into the youth national team at the same time marks a moment in our timelines that will never be erased. In this moment all I can think about is Tobin, she’s been there every step of the way, I’m so happy, not just for myself getting called up but for her too. I find myself lost in the moment and before my brain can catch up I pull back from Tobin’s embrace, I realise how dry my lips are and wet them, my eyes drifting from Tobin’s eyes down to her cute little nose, them finally resting on her lips. She seems to do the same and at this point I have no control over my actions, I lean in and without protest from Tobin unite our lips. The kiss is slow and gentle at first, exploring uncharted territories for both of us, the warm feeling of her lips on mine sends electricity surging through my body. I pull back slightly, opening my eyes to seek any sort of protest from Tobin, when all I see if her darker, more thirsty eyes I dive back in, this time kissing her with more passion and need. I feel her tongue run over my lips and I grant it access, the soft dance of tongues making the kiss so much sweeter. After what feels like hours, days, years, we part away from each other, seeking oxygen. We open our eyes once more and I can see her swollen lips, her tongue running over them, I feel myself doing the same, excited at the sweet taste of her lips on mine. Our breathing begins to return to normal but we both know that there is no hurry right now, we’ve both just experienced one of the best moments of our lives…

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do that…” Tobin finally states, her voice slightly husky and almost a whisper.

“Was it worth the wait?” I ask her, my voice more raspy than usual, probably due to the current lack of oxygen in my lungs.

“Yes, 100 times yes!” Tobin replies before once again uniting our lips together, passionately pressing into me, pushing me until my back rests against the wall.

I flip us around which takes Tobin completely by surprise and deepened the kiss, pouring out all of my feelings and emotions into it. The feeling is indescribable, heavenly, beyond anything by brain can begin to comprehend. We spend most of the afternoon making out, exploring this newfound passion ignited within us both, neither of us wanting to break apart, with no necessary reason to do so.

“What does this mean Alex?” Tobin eventually asks, bringing around the inevitable conversation that probably needs to happen since we’ve progressed from what we cannot really call friendship anymore…

“I don’t know, I guess this means we are a thing now, right?”

“Yeah, it does...you won’t have any regrets come tomorrow?”  
“Absolutely not! It's been too long, I should have realised my feelings for you earlier, but as they say; better late than never, right?”   
“You’re such a dork!”

“I’m your dork now!”

We laugh and kiss once again, never growing bored of the relentless desire to feel and taste each others lips on ours.

“Are we going to tell anyone?”  
“I think we should stay on the down low at first, this is new for me and it’s something I think would be best that we discover and explore ourselves and get comfortable with before telling anyone else. What do you think?”

“I agree, if that’s what you want...It makes sense, we don’t need to rush into anything, we have nothing but time!”

“Ok, so now that’s sorted we can continue…?”  
“We can do whatever you want…” Tobin replies sexily, drawing laughter from both of us and opening the moment up to a continuation of what we started…

 

**Clarke pov**

Thursday becomes friday, friday becomes saturday and before I know it it's almost time for Lexa to leave and I’m not sure how I’ll cope at all with her gone. I’ll miss her cute laugh, her warm smile, her gorgeous green eyes, hell….even her tiny ears!

“Hey Lex?” I ask, wondering if she is awake, as we both lie in our beds on sunday morning, refusing to get up and about.

“Mmm?” she replies sleepily, sitting up and rubbing her eyes, trying to force the tiredness to leave her body but to no avail.

“We need to have that conversation, you promised before you go and you leave later. You haven’t changed your mind, have you?” I ask, suddenly worried that she has succumbed to how she acted the first time. Worried that once again she will simply put on her emotionless mask and pretend that she doesn’t feel anything. Which must be a lie because if Anya, of all people, can see that she has feelings for me then surely it must be true, I don’t understand why she feels the need to hide…

“Ok, let’s do it now…”

Wait what?!? She said yes?!? The reply shocks me, because I thought she would just keep delaying until she had left and would end up avoiding the conversation all together. It takes me a moment to process the reply and I find myself staring at Lexa across the room, my mouth open and closing in turn, probably making me look a lot like a goldfish.

“Well…?” Lexa prompts, bringing me back to my senses…

“Oh...um, sorry! … Well, I want to know if you’re ready yet? If you won’t run from me this time, if I tell you that my feelings for you still exist and will never cease to exist…”

“I...yes, I think I’m ready...But can we go slow, please? This is hard for me, don’t get me wrong. I trust you Clarke, I do, but I haven’t been with anyone since...since Costia. Can you do that for me? Can we take this slow and see where we go from there?”

“Yes Lex, of course! Whatever you need, whatever is best for you!”

“Thanks Clarke! Oh and also, I don’t think it would be a great idea to tell anyone yet?”  
“That makes sense, we’ll go at whatever pace you set, just let me know ok?”

“Thanks” Lexa smiles cutely, filling my heart with warmth at the sight. It's a sight I could never grow tired of!

After some silence I get up and walk over to her bed, sitting on it and start rubbing her back reassuringly. She hums her approval and relaxes into the movements, grateful for the small release of tension.

“When do you leave?”

“11”

“That's only a couple of hours away, you should probably get out of bed!”

“But I'm comfortable!”

“Awhhh Lex, come on!”  I nudge her, trying to draw some sort of movement. I grin at her as a plan formulates in my head.

Without hesitating I yank the duvet off her, which in turn pulls her out of the bed and she lands with a thud on the floor. I know immediately I'm in trouble and turn to run away but she acts swiftly, grabbing my ankle and pulling me down with her. Within a matter of seconds we're both collapsed on the floor laughing. She grabs the duvet and wraps herself in it, looking like a caterpillar which makes me laugh at how dorky she is. She then rolls over to me, trying to knock me over once more but her efforts are futile, my feet are firmly planted after standing up.

“Lex, what are you doing??”

“Attacking you!!!”

“Aww you're so precious” I respond, patronising her and annoying her even more. She then throws a pillow at me as I turn my back to go to the bathroom. She throws it with much more force than would be expected, but looking at her toned muscles it shouldn't really be much of a surprise, as the pillow hits me in the back of the head.

“Lexa!!!! Urghhh" I complain, reacting to her cute but childish behaviour…

She simply giggles cutely and continues lying there on the floor, wrapped in her duvet like the cinnamon roll she is.

“I'm going to the bathroom, be up by time I'm finished...” I firmly state, not buying into the cuteness. Lexa bites her lip and nods, closing her eyes and just lying there happy in her own little bubble.

********

11am comes fast and before I know it's time for everyone to leave for the camp. Anya, Lexa, Alex and Tobin. They have all been called up and I'm so proud of each one of them, they deserve it!!

“Enjoy it Lex, kick some ass! I'll be here waiting when you come back!” I tell her, knowing that is exactly what she will do. I look around and make sure no one is watching before pulling her in for a hug and planting a quick, soft kiss on her cheek. “Good luck Lex" I whisper in her ear...

“I'll miss you Clarke!”

“It's only a week or so, you got this!”

I move on after we say our goodbyes and walk over to Tobin, eager to wish her well...

“Hey Tobin! Thought you could leave without saying goodbye??” I joke, pulling her into a hug and telling her she will be amazing and to show everyone what she is capable of.

“Be good Clarke, don't do anything I wouldn't do" she jokes back, knowing full well that I'll probably be bored out of my mind the whole time!

Finally they get into the minivan and wave out of the windows, saying a final goodbye before driving off to the airport, leaving me behind with Octavia and Raven. Well shit, this is going to end so well isn't it...


	12. HARRY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex, Tobin, Anya and Lexa go on the u20's training camp  
> They make new friendships on the way and meet lots of super cool new people  
> Basically I suck at summaries...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey :) I'm so sorry for the super long wait! I had writers block and was really lacking in motivation to write because of the frustration so idk if this is a great chapter or not, but I hope you all like it!  
> I'm also recovering post operation and suffering from soccer withdrawal if that is even a thing lol  
> Thanks for the support from my beta themvofangirl and for some great future ideas from EdenDani, you guys are awesome <3  
> Sending love all my readers <3

**Alex pov**

“Hey I’m bored, do you want to play monop deal?” Tobin asks after a good 30 minutes of the hour and a half flight to LA from San Francisco airport. I know from experience that she hates the long journeys that come with being a soccer player.

“Ok...fine…” I finally answer, which makes Tobin grin like a kid in a candy store as she gets up to find the game in her bag.

I’ve always been a competitive person, its in my blood and I always have to win, regardless of what the game might be. Whether that is soccer or monop deal, I have to win! It’s definitely something I got from my dad, he always pushed me from the day I was born, to be the best I can be in every possible way. My mom always supported me, especially when I needed it. But it was dad who, when I was aged 13, brought me my first pair of cleats that weren’t hand me downs, he asked for the most expensive cleats in the store (THEY WERE $350!!!!!) and bought them for me, I’ll never forget that moment because it meant so much more than just money, it showed he wanted me to be the best, that he wanted to invest in what I love. Since I decided soccer was my game he learnt everything about it, regardless of the fact that really his sport was Baseball, he went from knowing nothing about soccer to taking referee classes! He even brought me along so we could go together and then he went on to even take coaching classes! Whereas mom would be the team supporter, she would be the team mom bringing half time snacks and making hair ties for the team. Together though they made me into the competitive winner that I am now, through their hard work and encouragement and their unending love.

“Hey Alex, you good?” Tobin asks, bringing me out of the memories of my childhood and back to the present.

“Yeah I’m fine. Hey, do you remember when my dad bought me those cleats?”

“Oh shit that was crazy!!! I still think he is mad for buying you those, like what the hell, I was playing with cleats a third of the price!”

“I have no clue but I guess it paid off…”  
“Nah you suck. I should’ve had them.” Tobin replies cheekily, sticking out her tongue while receiving a slap on the shoulder and a glare from me.

“You’re just jealous of me.” I jab back at her, trying to turn the tables.

“Jealous of your inability? Nahhh I’m good!”

“Whatever.” I state, turning around and folding my arms, not giving her anymore of my attention as payback for her rudeness.

“Awhh babyyyy don’t go all pouty on me!!” Tobin replies, melting my heart with her persuading voice.

“Fine, lets play monop deal. I’m gonna kick your ass now…”

“Sure…”

 

2 games later and I had won the first one and just managed to win the second game, only just though. Tobin was getting more and more frustrated but there was nothing she could do! I’m motivated…

“One more game?” I ask, knowing that the flight is coming to an end soon and we’ll eventually be forced to stop playing. I want to finish ahead of her and not give her the time to come back!

“Nope. We’re playing till I win…” Tobin replies, making me laugh, but then looking at her serious face I realise that she isn’t joking. Of course she isn’t...

“Come on Tobs, we’ll be there soon. One more, ok?”  
“We’ll see…”

“And if I win, I get your snapback for the week, deal?” I ask her innocently, knowing that she hates it when I steal any of her possessions. Especially her hoodies and snapbacks!  
“What no!?”

“So you don’t think you’ll win.” I reply tactically, trying to trick her into accepting the deal.  
“Urgh fine. You’re going down sucker!”

This game lasts longer than the others but eventually the cards start falling in my favour and soon I have three property sets under my control, including those precious dark blues of Boardwalk and Park Place.

The victory manages to shut Tobin up from bragging and means I get her snapback for the rest of the week, which also seems to really put her in a bad mood...momentarily of course…

I check to see if Anya or Lexa are watching from across the row and when I see Anya is asleep and Lexa is fixated on her phone I move over to place a small kiss on her neck, which draws a satisfied sound from her lips. I slowly make my way up the vein on the side of her neck, bringing out some more subtle but oh so enticing moans from her, finishing with a kiss on her cheek. Then I simply rest my head on her shoulder, enjoying the comfort of the position and the light tickling of Tobins breath on my cheek as she looks down at me with her soft hazelnut eyes. I feel like I’m at home whenever I’m with her, I don’t know how I was so blinded before and didn’t realise this feeling I have for her.

 

Once we have touched down at LA International Airport and regrouped with the other two we make our way towards the arrivals lounge, looking for where we are supposed to meet with the team, which doesn’t take long. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out the large group of young women our age must mean we are in the meeting location, we’re there!!

“You must be Alex, Lexa and Tobin? Am I correct?” A fairly young looking woman asks us as we approach the group, receiving nods and a few small greetings from us. “Hi, I’m Jitka, nice to finally put faces to the names. Oh and Anya! Good to see you girl!”

“Hey coach!” Anya replies, smiling for what must be the first time ever in the history of this planet…”You can’t get rid of me that easy, huh?” she continues, surprising everyone in our group.

“We’ll see if that’s true…” the coach replies, grinning at her before letting us know that we are only waiting for a couple more before we can head over to the hotel we are staying at.

A short amount of time later a couple more arrive together and that signals the time for departure, onto a large coach for the 25 of us on the roster currently. The journey is a short one from the Airport to the US Soccer National Training Centre, which is situated right next to the stunning StubHub Centre. The home of LA Galaxy!

Inside the huge conference room of the rather glamorous hotel we all settle down at tables, eager to hear the schedule for the week ahead and to learn what they might have in store for us. We make small talk between the four of us as we wait, mostly involving us asking Anya about her experiences here from the past. Soon however we are interrupted by the voice of Jitka once again, who gathers the attention of the room quickly without fuss.

“Ladies I want to take a moment to welcome you all here and congratulate you. Each and every one of you deserves to be involved, however the hard work doesn't stop here. I want to make it absolutely 100% clear from the first moment that you will be working hard and you will be out there to prove a point. There are places up for grabs and people to impress. That leads me onto my second but equally important point...We are a team and that means we all work together as a unit and as a family. This isn't just about individuals but about developing a winning mentality and a team spirit. Furthermore, we will not tolerate ANY form of bullying here and we expect you to all behave like adults. Do you understand?” Jitka asks, speaking firmly and with authority which can only bring respect and admiration for her.

“Therefore as part of the team spirit we will be rooming you with people you won't necessarily know, rather than with your colleagues from your colleges. Trust me it might sound school-like but in the end of the day you won't hate me for it. We also have a traditional get to know one another sort of event that we run on the first evening. Think of it as a little surprise and a present to all of you for making the team. There are lists on the wall behind you for room pairings, get settled into your rooms and we will meet in the lobby at 4:30, see you soon.” Jitka finishes and as soon as her little speech is over the room bursts into conversations and the horrific sound of chairs screeching on the floor as we make our way to the exit.

“I guess that means no room for anything private?” Tobin whispers in my ear, as we make our way our, sending shivers down my spine at the thought.

“I hate you.” I tell her, glaring at her and poking her in the ribs, which draws a cute giggle from her that warms my heart.

Once we get to the front of the queue I manage to look over the list of roomings, managing to catch my name as well as a few others who I recognise from some of our games...

 

_Alex Morgan, Amy Rodriguez (Room 130)_

_Tobin Heath, Allie Long (Room 131)_

_Ashlyn Harris, Ali Krieger (Room 137)_

_Lexa Woods, Megan Rapinoe (Room 140)_

_Anya Woods, Tris Thorn (Room 142)_

 

“Well at least we're next to each other, we can hang out easily enough.” I tell Tobin, leaving some suggestion to the words hang out which I notice she immediately catches onto, smirking and giving me those eyes…

“What if I don't want to hang out with you?” Tobin snaps back, failing to convince me that she could possibly be telling the truth.

“Tough, you're stuck with me now Foreverrr!!”

“Forever?”

“Duhhh yes forever" I reply quickly, although the cogs are turning in my head as to what I might have just implied to Tobin already.

 

I’m greeted as I enter my room by one of the girls I knew I recognised from a league match earlier in the season for Cali. “Hey! I'm Amy, you must be Alex, right?”

“Yep, thats me. Pleased to meet you.”

We set about unpacking in silence for a moment before I break it by asking the question playing on my mind…

“I remember your face from one of our games this season. Who do you play for again?”

“USC. You're UCB, right?”

“Ahhh yes! I remember your goal, very cooly finished I must say.”

“Thanks” She smiles at me, appreciating the recognition from a fellow forward. “I also recall your header in that game. Unstoppable I think…”

“Hahahah maybe...I do love a good header!”

“A strikers dream.”

“Yup, gotta train those neck muscles, right?”  
“Hahahah yessss neck day at the gym everyday…”

“Hey my friend is next door, do you wanna go over and see what they’re up to?”

“Sure, I’m all done here!”

We leave our room and walk over to the room opposite ours, I knock on their door and wait for them to answer, while telling Amy a little bit about my friendship with Tobin. Obviously leaving out the big detail…

 

T **obin pov**

“Hey I'm Allie.” I'm greeted by an energetic looking tall blonde, who from the start appears to have a personality suited to my sort of friendship.

“Tobin.”

“First time?” She asks, whilst unpacking various items of clothing into one of the wardrobes in this luxury hotel room.

“Yup, you?”

“Yep, I guess we're both newbies then.”

“Cool. Which college you at?”

“Pennsylvania, you?”

“UCB"

“Ah we haven't played yet, have we?” She asks, answering the question I was poised to ask myself.

“Nah I don't think so, not yet. We’ll kick your ass though.” I joke, earning laugh from the intriguing girl across the room from me.

“Sure thing, don't get your hopes up.” She jokes back, which I can't help but grin at, it seems like we have a level playing field here…

“Any idea what we might be doing this afternoon?” Allie asks me once were both settled in and lying on our beds waiting.

“Hmmm some sort of social event I guess, probably something involving awkward ice breakers is my bet.”

“Yeah you're probably right. I hope it's something fun though, I've been sat on a plane or a bus all day today and my butt aches.” Allie tells me, perhaps leaving in more detail than needed, but I get her point.

I hear a knocking on our door and can only assume that it is Alex wanting to see me again already, not that I’m complaining! I open the door and as expected I am greeted by the wonderful Alex and another girl who I recognise from one of our earlier games this season.

“Alex?! Hey girl! And you must be Amy, right?”  
“Yup thats me.”

“Do you two wanna come in? We can hang out till its time to go down?”

“Sure…” Amy replies, entering the room with Alex following behind her. I give Alex a quick hug, trying to make it look like we are nothing more than friends. We probably need to be careful about our relationship for now, I’m not sure about dating rules within the team and I know we have already agreed to keep us on the down low.

Allie also introduces herself to the other two, acting as what I can only imagine is her usual bubbly and energetic manner, which is already growing on me.  

“What positions do you play?” Amy asks, addressing the group as a whole, obviously curious and wanting to get to know us.

“Midfield or left forward...Pretty much anywhere as long as I can supply the queen goalscorer over there.” I elaborate, pointing at Alex and drawing a couple of smiles, the best from Alex who nods her agreement.

“I’m a forward as Tobin just hinted at.” Alex then answers, followed by Allie...

“I’m the bestest midfielder in the world” Allie claims, seemingly believing its the truth before she bursts into laughter, she seems to be actually such a dork.

“Cool, I’m also a forward. Looks like we have some competition.”

“Damn right you do!” Alex immediately throws back, laughing playfully with Amy, which is good, it seems like we will all really get along well over this week and the training camps to come if we all get called up again.

 

“Ok, that should be everyone here. So last year we went bowling on the first night to get some team bonding underway, however we thought we would go one step further this year so...who’s up for go karting???” Jitka announces as we are gathered in the lobby waiting to find out the plan for the evening. Immediately conversations burst out at the mention of go karting. I mean who’d have thought it?? But no question we are all down for it, the excitement among the squad shows, apart from Lexa. She is standing with her arms folded, her expression unmoving except for a slight smirk that becomes apparent, she must know something that we don’t, but I ignore it and continue talking to Alex and Allie.

Allie insisted on taking what felt like hundreds of selfies with us in racing overalls and helmets that never seem to fit. Not to mention the fact that she look literal hours getting ready beforehand. She definitely seems like a one of a kind sort of person with her drama and excitement levels.

“Come on Harry!?” Allie shouts from her kart across from me as we're waiting to be released onto the track, she looks over at me, confusing me because I don’t know anyone else here called Harry…

“What?!” I shout back at her.

“You’re Harry!”  
“I’m not being Harry! You’re the Harry!”

“You’re the Harry. I’m not the Harry!!”  
“Whatever...Harry…”

“”Fine, let's settle this racing...Harry.”

“You're on. You won't even see the front of my kart at all.”

“In your dreams Harry!”

At that point we are each set off onto the track in pairs with around a 10 second gap between. Which means I'll be with Allie most of the time, or should I call her Harry now?

The officials start our engines and were free to go. I slam my foot down onto the gas pedal, eager to get ahead of Allie from the get go so I don't have to worry about chasing her. I've done this before while on holiday in Spain and Italy, I love kart racing, the exhilaration and the adrenaline you get is like nothing else. Other than soccer obviously. Unlike Allie, it seems I at least know the basics of racing, how to take the racing line and how to not spin out. The key with karts is stick to gas or brake, never use both, it's the easiest way to spin out but its something all beginners seem to do. As I'm nearing the first corner I wait for the braking sign, ease the brakes and then turn into the corner hitting the apex and gradually increasing the throttle on the way out. Allie doesn't quite understand what she is doing and seems to slam on the brakes as hard as she can, locking up the rear wheels and sending her sliding into the first tire wall, good start for her. I kindly wait for her to recover, slowing down while she digs herself out of the hole created by her overconfidence at the start of the race. Then once again it's on and she seems to learn from her mistake, she follows my tail and it makes for a good competitive race. After a couple of laps I notice a kart overtake Allie behind me and begin to put pressure on me almost instantly. Hell they are a good driver, they just be professional because by the next corner then take the inside forcing me out wide and perfectly perform an overtaking maneuver. It must be one of the staff, but it isn't...It's Lexa...dammit is there anything that girl isn't the best at?? She wizzes on, overtaking everyone else like its nothing. I continue racing with Allie, loving the fun and the excitement of the sport. At one point she manages to get ahead of me, although I’ll be the first to admit that I actually let her so that I could have the fun job of trying to overtake her. She ends up taking a very wide line a few corners later, the classic case of understeer and so I take advantage of the mistake, soaring down the inside of the corner and ahead of her once again. The same process repeats a few times throughout which makes it much more exciting than just flying on ahead of her. At one point I even catch a glimpse of Alex ahead of me and try to get close to her but no matter what I do she always remains at least a corner ahead of me unfortunately. I would have loved to race her again, last time the competition between us  was thrilling as we both seem to be on a similar level of ability.

After another 5 or 6 laps later Lexa flies past again, humiliating everyone on the track as if it's nothing. I guess that answers the question as to why she was smirking when tonight's event was announced…

After a dozen or so more laps a flag is raised near the main straight which we were told means last lap. I want this one to be the best, I known the track now and I have a good feel for the car. I really push the limits hard this last lap and leave Allie far behind by the time I cross the line for a last time, pleased with myself and at beating the one and only Harry! I also almost managed to catch Alex ahead of me, I closed her down to only around a kart length between us but her defensive driving kept her ahead of me with some really good racing. I can only hope that this isn’t the last time I’m ever behind her, if you get what I mean…

I managed to get alongside her on the final straight but she had a slight speed advantage, probaby that she weighed slightly less than me, so she crossed the line just ahead of me.

“Hey Harry you cheated!!” Allie shouts once we're out of the karts and getting changed out of the overalls.

“How so?” I ask, curious as to what I might have done that she would consider cheating.

“You had a faster kart!”

“Are you kidding me Harry?? That's such a lame excuse!” I laugh, hitting her shoulder which only seems to fuel her.

“And you must have done this before??” She continues, which makes me grin because it's true and there is nothing she can do about it!

“Just a few times. No biggie.” I shrug, wrapping my arm around her shoulder and leading her out the room to where everyone else is. “Maybe at some point this week we will find something you're better at.” I joke, laughing at the determined expression that appears on her face.

“You bet I'm gonna find something!” she returns, rubbing her hands together as if trying to act like a James Bond villain which only makes me laugh harder. She's such a dork!

“Hey Tobs, I didn't see you out there!” Alex says, bringing me in for a brief hug which I momentarily sink into before she pulls away

“I was obviously too fast for you" I joke, sticking my tongue out at her while she rolls her eyes. We went karting in Florida during the last summer when we were on holiday together. Again the memory of that time brings back a huge smile to my face, damn she's really the best! “I was actually alongside you on the final straight! Didn’t you see me??” I ask, shocked that she hadn’t realised it had been me racing her on the final lap.

“Ohhhhh that was you?!?! Come to think of it I should have guessed it was from how close you were to me. But hey, I finished first suckerrrr!”  
“Hey I totally would’ve had you if I hadn’t been slowing down for Allie all the time!” I joke, earning a harder than necessary punch in the arm from the blonde for that comment.  
“Ouch! What the hell Allie?!” I protest, rubbing my probably bruised arm...

“You deserved it.” She smirks,

“Did you see Lexa?” Alex asks, which reminds me of how much she owned that track.

“I saw her lap me a couple of times. She's just too good at everything it's not even fair!!”

“Yeah I swear she's not human!

“Who’s not human?” Lexa asks, appearing out of nowhere, further proving our point in Lexa style.

“Oh um nothing” Alex replies.

“We just don’t think it's fair that you’re good at everything you do!” I blurt out, drawing a grin from Lexa, who looks annoyingly smug at all the attention she is getting from us.

“I’m sorry. Truly…” Lexa replies, still smiling smugly and clearly not meaning what she is saying at all.

“Yeah right. Let me guess you’re a pro race driver since you were a child? You got coached by Lewis Hamilton?”

“It was just something Anya and I did for fun.” Lexa replies, still acting smugly which is a rare show of emotion for her in public. But the reply is typical Lexa, of course she is good at it, whoever ends up with her is going to be very lucky indeed.

“Hey, we’re going for a meal out as a group now.” Anya interrupts, reminding me it's actually quite late and I’m more hungry than I realised.

“Any idea where we are going?” Alex asks, probably equally as hungry as me from the long day of travelling and then karting.

“An Italian place round the corner, it's really nice, you’ll like it!” Anya tells us before turning back to talk to a girl I haven’t had the chance to meet yet.

 

Once we get to the restaurant I immediately sit next to Alex, not giving anyone else a chance to get there first.

“Does this count as our first date?” Alex asks me, whispering in my ear so that no one else might be able to hear her. Its really loud anyway due to having 25 soccer players crowding out one huge table in the middle of the restaurant.

“Hell no, you gotta ask me on a proper date…” I reply, leaving suggestion in my answer that she surely can’t miss.

“Hey why does it have to be me? Why can’t you ask me instead?” Alex comments back at me, smiling at me, her eyes meeting mine.

“If that's how you want to play this...ok then...Alex will you go on a date with me when we get back to Cali?” I respond, smiling back at her and taking hold of her hand under the table away from any watching eyes.

“I would love that! Thanks Tobin…”

“My pleasure…”

“Hey you two, quit staring at each other and choose some food, I’m hungry!” Allie rudely interrupts our moment together, causing Alex to roll her eyes and me to let out an audible sigh at her.

“Shut up Allie, I already know what I’m having…” I respond to her, sticking my tongue out at her, trying to take the attention away from me and Alex.

“You haven’t even looked at the menu...I’ve been watching you the whole time.”

“Watch out Tobin, looks like you got a stalker.” Amy comments, drawing laughter from Alex and I and causing Allie to blush and look away.

“What are you having?” Alex asks me

“Creamy salmon tagliatelle...you?”

“Oh, that is fancy. I was thinking pizza.”

“Up to you…But I know what you’ll choose already.”  
“Pepperoni?” I nod in confirmation of what I already knew... “Dammit you know me too well!”

“I don’t know all of you yet…” I respond, whispering in her ear once again. I move my hand to her thigh, resting it there higher than what would be perceived as normal, slowly moving it upwards while her eyes stay focused on mine.

“Tobin…” Alex rasps, at which point I pull my hand back and give her a wink, just as the waiter comes around to us to take our order, ending the moment for now.

“So...who’s gonna win NCAA this year?” Amy asks, opening up the discussion at our end of the table.

“Probably Stanford as usual” Allie replies instantly, as if not even giving the question any thought.”

“Hey, who’s top of the league right now…” Alex replies, always showing her competitive side. But she isn’t wrong, UCB is currently top of the league, we’re just ahead of Stanford but it's way too close to call.

“I’ve heard a thing or two about UCB this season, you’ll have to show it in training this week to convince me though.” Allie states, not budging from her position.

“It's all open this year. I think it's impossible to call a winner right now. But my guess is that it’ll be between UNC, Stanford and UCB.” I comment, sharing my opinion on the matter.

“I agree!” Alex says, earning an eye roll from Allie.

“Of course you do…” Allie responds, grinning at both of us

“What is that supposed to mean?” Alex asks her.

“Nothingggg.”

Luckily we are interrupted by the arrival of food, the delicious smell reminding me of just how hungry I am, making my stomach growl which Alex finds way too amusing.

“Bon appetit” I say, tucking into my pasta, which turns out to be one of the best I’ve ever eaten. It's delicious!

 

**Lexa pov**

“Jitka is making me captain.” Anya tells me once we are seated at the restaurant.

“She told you?”

“Yeah, she told me earlier, in the time before we left the hotel.”

“That's amazing An! It’s what you’ve always wanted!”

“I know. Thanks Lex, I couldn’t have done it without you!”

“Yes you could.”

“I know that you’ll follow me, you’re the best player I’ve ever played alongside.”

“You would never admit that, what’s up An?”

“I just don’t know how much longer we will be playing together. If all goes well I’ll have earned my way into the senior squad and don’t forget I’m a year older than you…”  
“Hey! Save the sentiment for another time, it doesn’t suit you!” I state, which makes her look up at me and grin. We have never been the best at talking to each other, we prefered to just get on and do things together, but I’ll always miss her when we are apart. Equally we don’t have to worry about that right now and that's what I plan on putting an end to, we can enjoy this time together and she will make a damn good captain. She’s already doing it at UCB anyway…

“So what's going on between you and Clarke?” Anya asks, startling me because of all the conversations we could be happening this isn’t the one I expected.

“What do you mean?”

“You know exactly what I mean squid…You guys cool?”

“Hey don't call me that! Yeah we’re cool.”

“That all you’re gonna give me?" 

“You’re not exactly one for relationship advice…”

“You have to be in a relationship to get advice squid.” Anya states, before realising exactly what that might mean… “Wait does that mean…? Are you?”

“Fuck An. I don’t know…”

“It's complicated? That bullshit ain’t working on me. Spill it Lexa…”  
“Urgh fine. We talked about it before I left earlier. We’re taking it slow but yes we are together I guess.”

“You guess? That isn’t convincing Lex…”

“I’m just scared that she will run from me, that she will realise I’m not as good as she seems to think I am, that she will stop trusting me.”  
“Why Lexa??? I’ve never seen you look at someone the way you look at Clarke, I’ve never seen someone so good for you. You should be proud to have someone as amazing as Clarke prepared to wait and fight for you Lex. Stop denying your feelings for her and move your ass before I have to kick it.”

“You’re right, I really do care about her Anya, but we’re both new to this and I mean I barely know her really!”  
“Then take her on dates! Get to know her!”

“Ok ok yes I will. Can we stop talking about this now please? This isn’t like us.”

“Ok, but remember the ass kicking if you don’t up your game.”

“I’ll skype her later...There…Happy?”

“Yes, you will be happy. And you’ll be glad you listened to me. Just you wait.”

I’m then saved by the arrival of our food, thank God, because I don’t think I ever want relationship advice from Anya ever again. She literally only knows how to threaten people!

********

After the meal I practically rushed up to my room, once we got back to the hotel, to skype Clarke, although if anyone asks I would obviously deny it. I texted her during the dinner quickly to ask her and she accepted my offer so all I have to do is grow a pair and call her.

Thankfully Pinoe had said she was going to hang out with Ashlyn for a bit so I have the room to myself for some time thankfully.

I quickly check my makeup, although I barely wear any, and tame my hair a little as it got messed around by the racing helmet earlier. I'm not fussing am I? Damn I just want her to be happy with me!

I hit call and after a few rings the face of a real life angel appears on the screen, stopping my heart momentarily at the sight of her.

“Hey Lex!”

“CLARKE!!!”

“Jeez Lexa we've been apart literally half a day and you're already being this clingy??”

“Shut up I missed you ok!”

“Awww Lex…”

“How have you been?”

“Lex, I'm fine. Like I said it's been half a day! I just hung out with Octavia and Raven.”

“That sounds painful…”

“IT IS YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!”

“Hahahahah unluckyyyyy"

“When we are around I think they hold back because they know Anya will murder them if they go too far…”

“Damn right she will.”

“What have they been up to?”

“Besides the constant bickering, innuendos and child like behaviour. Nothing much…”

“Sounds like a handful.”

“I want you here now.”

“I want to be with you too.”

“What would you do if you were??”

“I'd hug you tight and never let you go…”

“You're so cute!”

“No you are!!”

“Hell no! You're cuter!!”

“Whatever. Anyway I...um….I…”

“What Lexa?”

“I wanted to…”

“Want what?”

“Iwantedtoaskwillyougoonadatewithme?”

“Woah Lexa chill ok! Can you repeat that please?”

“Um...It's nothing.”

“It didn't sound like nothing to me. Come on Lexa spit it out.”

“I wanted to ask you out on a date, if you would like that?”

“Hey Lex, look at me. Of course I would love to go on a date with you!”

“Thank you! I'll plan something for when I'm back from camp.”

“I can't wait!”

“Neither can I!”

 

We make small talk for a while until Pinoe comes knocking, which signifies the end of the call. Neither of us want to say goodbye but in the end we don't have a choice.

“Babe, promise me you'll stop being so clingy ok? Enjoy your time on camp. Kick some ass and come back to me with stories of how amazing you were, ok.”  Clarke demands, going into mama bear Griffin mode...

“Ok...I promise…”

She kisses the camera on her phone, making me giggle before I hang up, having said our goodbyes once again. I feel energised and revived by her warm spirit. I feel so much better, like I can take on the world, well at least take on this training camp this week!

 

**Clarke pov**

Just after Lexa hangs up the call I receive a text from Anya, which fills me with curiosity because she doesn't usually contact me unless it's important enough.

_Clarke we need to talk when I get back, An_

 

Shit. What might she want to talk about that is so important? I have no idea. Is it about the team? Is it about soccer? Or is it about Lexa? I bet it's about Lexa...


	13. The Queen of Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What have Clarke, Raven and Octavia been up to back at college  
> The girls have their first training sessions and their first match against Argentina   
> Lots of fluff!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi :) I'm really sorry for the wait again
> 
> -I would love to hear thoughts on how the story is going so far and maybe some predictions because they are always fun to read!   
> -Thanks to everyone who spends a moment to comment, as much as a 'fantastic update' to an essay, each and every comment means the world to me <3  
> -Thanks so much to ALL my readers who have stuck around so far! I still have so much planned its just the difficult case of trying to put those ideas onto paper hahah
> 
> Tobin during the ToN was fucking amazing and I love her with all my heart  
> Alex can't stop scoring   
> AND WE GOT REAL LIFE TALEX CONTENT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS AND IT WAS SO GOOD AND I DIED THERE AND THEN WHEN THEY HUGGED AND RESTED FOREHEADS TOGETHER AGSDGAHFGSDKHF
> 
> Shoutout to my beta themvofangirl

**Clarke pov**

“Well...I guess it's just the three of us now for a week” I comment with little enthusiasm, once the girls have left on the bus to go to the national camp. I already miss Lexa, as clingy as it sounds as she has only been gone a minute. I wish that she could be standing next to me, her hand in mine, her beautiful smile stretched across her face which she doesn’t let out nearly enough. 

“It’s gonna be sooooo good” Raven tells us, grinning widely, which fills me with fear because anything that excites Raven cannot be something good for anyone else.

“How can it possibly good? All our friends are away from us for a week. It sucks!” I state, letting my emotions run out of control which takes Raven and Octavia by shock, up until a smirk appears on Raven’s face which fills me with even more fear. 

“You mean one person in particular…” She smirks as she says it, as if already accepting a victory before it’s even confirmed. Obviously I can’t deny it, I really do miss a certain brunette in particular, but I definitely can’t tell Raven and Octavia that. It would be suicidal to say the least!  

“I mean everyone. Anya, Tobin, Alex and Lexa! I’ll miss them in training and hanging out, it’s not fair!” I protest, trying to hide any sort of feeling for Lexa that might shine through because I find it almost impossible not to care about her and I want more than ever to be able to show her off as mine. But I can’t, not for a while, not until it’s the right time and now definitely isn’t. Not with these two buffoons trying to prise any sort of slip up from me. 

“Whatever. We all know it though, you can’t hide!”

“I don’t care what you believe, it's not true! Anyway what's the plan today? I want to know so I can avoid you two…” I tell Raven cheekily, although she easily sees right through me, knowing I will hang out with them. 

“Well I was thinking the two of you could help me with something I have been working on. It's a secret so now is the best time to do it while everyone is away...Are you in?” Raven asks, confusing me because this could be literally anything. And why doesn’t she want anyone else to know? 

“I don’t know, it depends what this is?” Octavia replies and I nod in agreement, I don’t want to be dragged into anything that could have repercussions.

“Fine. Meet me at my dorm in an hour and I’ll tell you everything.” Raven responds after a short pause in which she was clearly thinking.  

Octavia and I share a glance and after a moment agree to take up Raven’s offer. It can’t be that bad, right?

 

“Ok, so this is how it is...Anya came to me asking for help to get some serious revenge on Tobin for something that she is refusing to tell me, so it must have been something pretty humiliating for her!”

“If Anya wants revenge for something then I would definitely not want to be on the wrong side for it.” Octavia blurts out, suddenly looking a little bit pale at the prospect of Anya after revenge.

“I agree. That's why I’m helping her!” Raven explains, reassuring Octavia but not me. I don’t know if I can help if Tobin will be the victim, it depends how harsh the revenge will be…

“What are you planning to do? Because I don’t think I want to do anything that would upset her or that would be over the top.” I firmly state, standing my ground against possibly hurting my best friend. Something I could never do after all she has done to help me settle in here and make this place feel like home. 

“It’s ok Clarke, it’s nothing big, just a bit of fun. You don’t need to worry, it will be more on the funny side than on the harsh upsetting side of pranks. Ok?”

“I’m in depending on the plan then…”

“Great!” Raven exclaims, clapping her hands together in excitement and grinning devilishly…

“So you know how I’m like an expert in blowing shit up…”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me…” Octavia interrupts, working out exactly where Raven is going with this plan of hers before she’s even started telling us. 

“Let me finish!” Raven continues, putting an abrupt end to Octavia’s comments who sits back pouting at being told to stop. “So the plan is to get her the on the night of the day she gets back from camp. She will most likely be tired and vulnerable. Using my incredible expert explosive talents…”

“Modest much…” Octavia butts in, earning a glare from Raven.

“As I was saying...I plan to create some super powerful confetti cannons as the main part of the prank and that will be mixed with a couple of improvised smoke bombs at the beginning to freak her out…”

“Fucking hell Raven this isn’t a black ops mission!!” I tell her, feeling that she might be taking this a little too seriously. I know Anya will be behind that, whatever Tobin did she will want double the humiliation back at her and this is apparently her way of doing it. 

“Nah I disagree, I think this is barely scratching the surface of what Raven can do, am I right?” Octavia counters, arguing that she isn’t going far enough?

“I can agree to this plan. But anything more than this I’m sorry but I’m out.”  I state bluntly, not taking anyone’s shit because Tobin is my best friend…

“Clarkie boo don’t worry!” Raven jibes, which really gets on my nerves, maybe as much as when I’m called princess. A name that I hated back home and seems to follow me everywhere and I have no idea why! Is it something about me? I don’t know…   
“Fine. So why do you need our help?” I ask, after some time to think.

“Yeah...surely your ‘incredible expert talents’ don’t require our services…” Octavia chimes in, emphasising the quote of Raven with inverted commas demonstrated by the appropriate action with her fingers. 

“Whatever. And yes, I need the help of you both if this plan is to succeed. Clarke, you're her friend and we'll need you to get to her room. Octavia I heard you are a bit of an expert at picking locks?” Raven asks her, at which I raise an eyebrow. 

“Um...Well Yeah I guess so...Why?” Octavia stutters, seemingly surprised that Raven has found out such information. 

“Well we need to get into her room in the first place!” Raven exclaims, pouting out what apparently should have been obvious. “Right! Why don't we take a little trip to the science labs and I'll show you what I've been working on.” Raven continues, eagerly getting up and bounding towards the door acting like an excited little kid getting ice cream. 

Octavia and I make eye contact briefly, rolling our eyes at the behaviour of our so-called friend. 

“Hey can we stop for some lunch on the way?” I ask, giving into the desires of my growling stomach. 

“Sure, lunch would be great!” Octavia replies, nodding in agreement with my suggestion.

“Noooo but…”

“No buts, you can wait for a little while longer, it isn't going to kill you to not show us your master plan weapons of destruction just yet.” I sarcastically comment at her refusal, which seems to do the job as Raven reluctantly agrees to stop off for food on the way. 

 

“So how come all the extra time with Anya?” I ask Raven as I take a large bite of my delicious bacon cheeseburger, moaning loudly at the taste. 

“Save those noises for private” Octavia comments, which I glare at her for and explain my love for a good burger.

“Anyway, Raven?”

“Oh well we have just been planning this whole revenge thing together, nothing more to be honest.” Raven finally replies, after taking a few bites of her sweet chilli wrap. 

“Bullshit." I reply, seeing right through her words. “You're the worst liar I've ever known Raven...spill the beans!”

“We've been hanging out a bit I guess, it's nothing though. She said she likes science and would have majored in it if she wasn't playing soccer, so I've shown her some of my projects thats all.”

“That's not true. She told me she wanted to join the army if she didn't play soccer!” Octavia argues, which causes a defeated look to fall over the face of our friend sitting opposite us. 

“Urgh I hate you two! ¿Por qué las aguanto? Idiotas!” Raven bursts out, confusing us both with her change of language, clearly showing out her Latina passion. 

“I'm pretty sure I know what idiotas means…” Octavia smirks at Raven, who holds her gaze, not backing down. 

“You still haven't answered my question properly Rae…” I remind her, causing Raven to break her glare with Octavia and close her eyes, tilting her head downwards as if thinking hard for a short moment. 

“Ok...We have been hanging out a lot because she is actually really cool if you give her a chance…” Raven starts describing, under the close scrutiny of both Octavia and I.

“At first it was only her asking me for help and me helping her come up with this damn plan. But after a few times together I started enjoying it so I asked her if she wanted to hang out more and thankfully she agreed.” Raven continues to tell us of the ongoing between her and Anya. 

“Oh my God you two would make the nerdiest couple!” Octavia blurts without thinking about her words. 

“Shut up O…” I reply back at her, while Raven just glares at her…

“Ok ok! Sorry but it's true!” Octavia defends herself, putting her hands in the air as if surrendering. 

“A. we are not a couple B. we will never be a couple C. we are actual opposites, she's not my type…” Raven justifies herself, unconvincingly though, I observe from her body language and the clear conflict in her eyes. 

“You say that but….” Octavia begins arguing back at her.

“Can we focus on Clarke's apparent love life instead???” Raven interrupts, trying to divert the conversation away from herself, which only fuels my assumptions about her possible feelings towards the badass captain and defender. 

“What love life?” I joke, trying to liven the atmosphere from what had become rather hostile, in a friendly way obviously. 

“Oh I don't know...Maybe some hot brunette girl who you can't stop talking about and spending time with LITERALLY ALL THE FUCKING TIME!!” Raven replies, raising her voice slightly louder than would be acceptable. But trying to emphasis a point that I really can't agree with in order to keep our relationship secret. 

“We're roommates...of course we spend time together dumbass!” I tell her, quickly coming up with a legitimate excuse for spending so much time with her. I mean it's true after all! 

“That's the worrying thing…” Octavia enters in, suggesting something that becomes obvious after a moment. 

“Oh please! Get your mind out the gutter asshole!” I respond to her, flicking my ketchup wrapper at her.

“I'm just saying…” She smirks, a look that is reciprocated on the face of the Latina opposite. 

“We're not fucking if that's what you think!” I firmly tell them both through gritted teeth, trying to think of a way out of this torture. 

“I guess not... so to word it differently, you're making love not fucking?” Raven asks, suddenly changing her expression to one of angelic innocent at which I roll my eyes and sigh loudly.

“Urgh fuck off I hate you both right now! Why did everyone have to leave me with you two idiots!”

“You still didn't deny it!” Octavia replies, completely missing the point! 

“I don't need to because you know it's not true!!! Besides, Lexa would never go for a plain, boring girl like me!” I respond, hoping that a different approach might take the attention off of our ‘relationship’. 

“You're joking, right??” Octavia half shouts at me...

“You're hot Clarke! Seriously hot! How can you not realise that?” Raven continues, emphasising Octavia’s point in a more elaborate manner. 

“I'm really not…” I continue, trying to play the emotional card as a get out of jail free.

“Oh have a little confidence girl! Your sexy ass just needs to realise that you could have anyone on this campus like putty in your hand if you wished so…” Raven tells me, winking at me which causes me to blush brightly at her statement. 

“Thanks, but I don't know. Anyway, how about we go to your lab. I'm done here!” I tell both of the girls, standing up to put my empty wrappers and burger box in the bin, ready to leave to see this dangerous operation under Ravens development. 

“Yes! Let's go!!” Raven shouts, suddenly forgetting the conversation I had just put an end to. 

 

“Hands off!!” Raven shouts as Octavia picks up a test tube, with a strange looking liquid inside, from one of the many racks in the science labs.

“But it looks cooool!” Octavia tells her, refusing to out it down..

”Yes, it's so cool that if you get any of that on you it will corrode your skin to the bone!” Raven threatens, which immediately leads to Octavia placing the test tube back down.

“You're such a child O!” I comment, ruffling her hair as if she is such. At which she bats my hand away and glares at me. 

“Ok so I bought some normal boring confetti cannons from Amazon and so far I've made two different modifications which I need help choosing between…”

“I've used one of those things before, aren't they good enough as they are?” I ask, confused because it all seems very excessive. 

“Nope! Bigger is better!” Raven says enthusiastically...

“You'd know that…” Octavia slyly comments.

“Yeah right, you can talk O. You don't shut up about Lincoln's….” Raven starts...

“OKAY THAT'S ENOUGH” I interrupt, not wanting to know about Octavias relationships.

“As I was saying. I've modified them to be louder and have a bigger dispersion. I've also taken the liberty of filling one with glitter and the other with a sort of gel that will make all the confetti stick everywhere.” 

“You're an evil genius!” Octavia laughs, grinning at how Raven has formulated this plan.

“You do realise that is going to take days to clean up! You're gonna be in so much shit!” I tell her, knowing that Tobin and Alex will not have a fun time cleaning all of this up which I'm sure they will be left to do alone…

“Don’t worry! It’ll be fineeeeeeee” Raven tries to reassure me, very unconvincingly so.

 

**Lexa pov**   
“Ok, so we play first on wednesday. That only gives us two days of training and getting to know one another. I want to see every single one of you working as hard as you can, no excuses for slacking or you can consider your future here under significant threat. You’re all here because you have something to prove and because so far you deserve to be here, don’t disappoint me. It may seem harsh treatment but you are the countries best young prospects and we expect nothing less than the best from you all because you're representing the US...three times world champions, 4 times Olympic gold medallists and 7 times CONCACAF winners. You might make mistakes, you might mess up something but if you’re giving it 100% then I’m happy. Understood?” Jitka asks, giving a firm but fair look across the whole squad stood out here waiting for training to commence. She receives some replies of yes and a host of nods from everyone, pausing to a knowledge this before continuing. 

“Today the plan is fitness in the morning, we want to know where each of you is at and how we can help you make the most of your situation and know your bodies better. After all we are training you to become senior squad members, so any help you can get we want to give you. After that we will have some light training before lunch and then after lunch some much more intense drills and tactics to work on. If you have any questions then please don't hesitate to ask us!” Jitka finishes, before we are seperated into groups to begin the first session of the day. 

The facilities here are exquisite, the pitch immaculate and the coaches for this team know their shit. I'm teamed up with Pinoe for the majority of drills today and as I'll soon find out for the rest of the week too. After the fitness testing in the morning we did some passing drills and then went into some dribbling and shooting for the forwards, as we split into positional groups. I can tell that Pinoe has talent as soon as we get going, like me she has been eager to get playing as soon as possible, trying to get through the fitness quickly. A lot of the drills are centered around running off the shoulder of defenders and either letting out a shot or playing a pass. My favourite drill of the session is one based around turning a defender and getting a quick shot off. The coach plays the ball to us and we have to control it, getting it out of our feet away from the dummy defender next to us and shoot the ball. It's a really great drill and Pinoe and I are pretty much evens in terms of ability I notice, which obviously ends up turning competitive. Alex, Amy, Pinoe and I are all closely matched and we know that there will always be competition between us for places which is what motivates me to be the best I can be. I've noticed that Tobin has been training with the midfielders which is both surprising but also not, at the same time, due to the competition for forward places it makes sense to use her versatility. Alex keeps stealing glances over to her which I certainly don't miss, even though she appears to think she is being subtle. I've noticed their even greater closeness this year compared to the last, something that I may end up bringing up with one of them at some point.

The afternoon session is really intense, full of drills and some scrimmage at the end. The initial drills are based around pressing the ball and at the opposite end managing to beat the press. It focuses on close control and one to two touch passing to keep the ball moving with players closing down quickly in an attempt to steal the ball and cut passing lanes. One of the drills splits us into two teams. Team A focuses solely on their positional play, which involves moving the ball in spaces to speed up the tempo and increase the creativity of the positional play. The idea is that as soon as the ball is lost in these situations that we counterpress immediately to win the ball back in dangerous areas. Definitely an ideal drill for when it comes to real games. On the other hand, Team B focuses more on the defending aspect, with only 7 players involved, leaving 3 to attack. Occasionally the coach would stop play and throw a ball in for team B to attack, which would have to be done as quickly and efficiently as possible, mixing up the intensity and creating incentive to do better each time…That was all alongside the shouts of “press" and “push up" from the coaches, who pushed us hard in this afternoon session. 

After a few more similar drills we are given a drinks break and are split into four teams of seven for some scrimmages.

I have Amy and Anya on my team thankfully, as I'm ready to get playing and impress for a place in the starting team in a couple of days time and it helps to have such quality players around. 

I manage to get an assist after a couple of minutes with a quick counter attack following a great interception from Anya, reading the play expertly. She distributes the ball to Lindsey in midfield, who quickly moves the ball on to me. I knock the ball past their defender who manages to slip over somehow on the turf and I look up and hit a cross to Amy who chests it down and fires it into the goal. I give a small smile to the defender who slipped and find out her name is Kelley, she seems like a nice girl from what I've seen.

Pinoe on the other team tries time and time again to beat Anya and has little success, however that doesn’t drown out the fact that she looks extremely good and a significant threat with her quick feet and ankle breaking turns, however when you have Anya in defence no striker in the world at this level will manage to run rings around her!

We win the game 5-2 and move into the “final" of the small scrimmage tournament, of course against the team containing Alex and Tobin. Who else!

Those two have already had this obvious chemistry that I’ve noticed since I first played with them, they seem to always know where the other is and Tobin always seems to be able to pick Alex out anywhere on the field, something I can only say I’m slightly jealous of…

However when you have Anya in defence you can always be filled with confidence that the defence will be effective, even against Alex Morgan our top scorer, of all players out there. 

This scrimmage is much more closely fought than the previous one and Tobin knows just how to play against Anya, drawing her out so that Alex is left with the other defender, I think her name is Hinkle, I can’t really remember, but she clearly isn’t near the level of Anya as she is beaten by Alex time and time again. 

Amy and I have a lot of success at the other end of the pitch, we combine well with speed and quick passing, helped by her outstanding positional play. She always seems to know exactly which run to make, how to draw the defender away, where to be when we win the ball back so that we can attack much quicker. 

The game flies by and by the end the scoring is 4-4 with both sides evenly matched throughout the competitive encounter. A fitting scoreline for how the game was played, however we both obviously wanted to win it! 

We are all exhausted and rightly so due to the intensity and the fatigue caused by the tactical work earlier before and the scrimmages afterwards. 

“Ok you all have the evenings to yourselves, but make sure you're ready tomorrow morning for more intense training. Don't even think about staying up late, if you're late to training I'll have you running laps all day, understood?” Jitka asks, giving a stern look, which receives quick agreements on everyone's behalf. 

“Good. Now chill out, relax and take it easy. Get to know each other too! This is the perfect time to make some friends with your teammates! See you all tomorrow.” Jitka finishes, indicating the end of a hard and demanding day of soccer. 

I just want to flop onto my bed and crash for the night already and it's only just gone 5pm!

“Hey Lexa, we're gonna play some card games in our room after dinner if you're up for it?” Alex asks me as we're walking back to the hotel that were staying at. 

“Yeah sure, sounds good!” I reply, eager to spend time having fun and chilling out this evening. 

 

“Diamonds" I state, choosing the trump suit for the final round of knockout whist for this game of cards. Its down to one card each so there is only one viable choice, unless I really really want to lose. Hell no! I'm silently grateful that they picked my favourite cards game to play, one that I've played with my family since I was young. Always after mealtimes, one of the only times Indra and Gustus could actually pin Anya and I down for some nice family time!

“Yes!” Alex shouts, as she throws down a queen of diamonds onto the table, confident that she has the highest card. 

“Fucks sake" Allie moans, rolling her eyes yet again because she has only a 6 of spades left in her hand for this final round. 

Amy also sighs in frustration as she places down a jack of clubs, followed by Anya with a 8 of hearts, who is similarly annoyed at losing. Probably more so since I'm playing! 

Tobin smirks at everyone, as if she is hiding something, damn she better not have the card I think she has…

“Go on Tobs! What you got?” I ask, praying that it isn't the Ace of diamonds, because if it is then I'm screwed…I feel the colour slightly draining from my cheeks, dammit it's only a card game Lexa! 

“BOOM!!!” She shouts, slamming the card down on the table and removing her hand to reveal….

A 2 of clubs…

Everyone immediately bursts out laughing at the hilarious scene of Tobin tricking me into believing that I had lost the game.

“Fuck you!” I shout at her, at which she simply grins back at me, loving the moment.

I throw down my King of diamonds onto the table, satisfied with the victory but slightly dampened by Tobins joke on me.

“Happy?” Tobin asks, still grinning widely at me, taunting me with the fact that she totally had me there. 

“Whatever...I win TOBY…”

“NOPE! Never call me that again!!!!” Tobin glares at me through her watery eyes wet from laughing so much. 

“Okayyyy I'm gonna call it a night.” Anya states, interrupting the staring competition that had formed between Tobin and I, egged on by everyone else in the room. 

“As your captain I suggest you all do the same.” Anya continues, which draws out a few eye rolls at her use of authority.

“Lights out in ten minutes” I mimic her voice, joking about her sudden change into captain mode.

”Asshole.” She mutters as she heads for the door and leaves to go back to her room. 

“I'm gonna go too, thanks for the games.” I tell everyone, having enjoyed the evening a lot. After some goodbyes I make my way back to the room, knowing Pinoe will still be with her friends, I want to try to get hold of Clarke if she is available. 

Once I'm back I brush my teeth and get ready for bed, putting on my pyjamas and finally sinking down into the mattress, grateful for being able to lie down and rest my tired muscles. 

I find the contact for Clarke and hit call, hoping and praying that she will be there to pick up her phone. After a number of rings suddenly a mass of blonde hair appears on my screen before the face of Clarke becomes clear as she moves her phone away from her. She's also in bed and yet she still manages to look absolutely breathtakingly beautiful as always. 

“Hey Lexa!” 

“Hey beautiful!” I reply, causing her to blush and her lips to slightly curve upwards.

“How was training?” 

“Ok, but not the same without the four of you, we miss you all!”

“I miss you more Clarkie boo"

“noooo you don't! So how was your first day of training?” 

“Exhausting. Tiring. Draining….” I respond, at which Clarke lets out a cute little chuckle…

“Baby you knew it would be tough. But you're The Commander, you're the toughest and I know you'll do amazing!” Clarke tells me, filling my heart with warmth at her words. 

“I know, thanks. There is just so many good players here, so much competition for places. I'm worried that I might not get picked ahead of some of these players…” 

“Lexa what the hell?” Clarke interrupts before I can finish what I was saying. 

“You're the best winger America has at our age. Hell, you could even join the seniors and be assisting Abby Wambach left, right and centre. And still be scoring ridiculous goals!! Lexa you have nothing to worry about! I've never seen you like this before but you need to believe in yourself, I believe in you and so should you.” Clarke reassures me, filling me with confidence and adoration at her ability to make me feel this way. 

“You're the best Clarke, you really are. You're right, I've got this!” 

We continue talking for 20 minutes or so until I decide it's time to sleep because I really want to be as fresh as possible for more training tomorrow. Despite the fact that I find it almost impossible to let Clarke go. I wish she was here with me. 

We say our goodbyes and she ends the call after bringing her lips to the camera, as if kissing me goodnight. This fills me with warmth and a strange feeling I've never really felt before...

 

Training the next day feels even tougher, probably because of the already tired muscles from the day before. But I also feel confident, thanks to Clarke's talk last night. I'm ready to take on everyone here and prove to myself and prove to the coaches that I deserve to be here and that I deserve to be starting the game tomorrow against Argentina. 

We start off with some warm ups as usual before breaking into small groups to play some El Rondo drills, which has always been my number one favourite soccer drill of all time. It gives an opportunity to use close control, quick decision making, awareness and most of all communication between one another. At one point Tobin fakes a sideways pass to me and waits for the defending player to commit, which unfortunately for Hinkle is currently her, instead of making that pass she simply rolls the ball through the players legs in the opposite direction performing one of her classic nutmegs which sends us all into a frenzy. I swear she doesn’t even try she's just that good at them, unlike her I prefer to knock the ball past a player rather than nutmeg them, but I’m much faster I guess so that makes sense. I’m still jealous of her nutmegging ability though as much as I hate to admit it.

 

**Tobin pov**

Soon enough gameday rolls around and the excitement levels inside the camp reach a whole new high level throughout the whole team and even some of the staff. Even Jitka can’t seem to stop smiling, compared to training where she is 100% focused on shouting instructions and conversing with the other coaches.

I decide in this moment that there never will be any feeling that can come close to that of pulling on the national team jersey with the number 17 on the back. It's a surreal feeling, one that makes shivers run down my spine as I look down at the US badge with a huge grin on my face. This all just reminds me why I play this game. I love the freedom, I love that I'm lucky enough to have a career doing what I love the most, it's a feeling I doubt many people can relate to and I couldn't be happier. 

“Ok, I know you've only been together for a few days but I've already seen enough to have great confidence in you all. Go show our opposition what we are made of!” Jitka finishes her team talk to cheers and adrenaline fuelled shouting. Pinoe continues playing music through the speaker as we wait a few minutes till its time to get out onto the pitch. I look over and see Alex doing some weird dance move to the music that I can unfortunately never unsee again. Seriously has nobody ever taught this girl to dance?? She looks like she's driving a car but seems to have a glitch, like on a game, and is repeating the motion over and over stuck on loop. Someone really needs to teach her and fast. 

I start going through my usual pre match routine as I’m sat on the bench facing downwards with my eyes closed and earphones in my ears blocking out the sound. My cross necklace is visible hanging from my neck as it's escaped from under my jersey, but I don't care, it's my reminder for why I'm able to play this beautiful game. Jesus Christ is my saviour and my absolute hero and before every game I always pray to him to thank him for his gift to me and for my ability and that I might manage the game uninjured. 

After finishing i look over to see Ash is making sure that beautiful blonde hair of hers is perfectly braided, always the perfectionist when it comes to her hair I've noticed. 

I don't need to look over at Anya to know that she will be going through her pre match rituals. From past experience I now don't dare to even come close to her, any distraction and she'll bite your head off. 

My attention once again drifts to Alex, I can’t help it, at least when she isn't dancing like a dork, she's just so beautiful. She looks confident and I couldn't be happier at that, well why shouldn't she be? We are representing our country at U20 level!

We get the knock on our changing room door, signalling its time! Suddenly I feel a little nervous, but its immediately wiped away as Alex comes over and squeezes my hand, reassuring me. 

“You got this Tobs. We got this!”

“We got this!” I repeat after her, smiling up at her widely.

 

The shrill sound of the whistle indicates the start of the match as Argentina kick off this first half of the game on a predictably hot LA afternoon. 

They string together some nice passing moves, shifting our team shape around the pitch but not managing to come close to our goal thanks to our well structured defence. Credit to Anya of course, forever barking orders about positioning to our other defenders and keeping control over the situation. 

The ball breaks in the midfield to Horan after a misplaced Argentinian pass, she looks up and plays the square ball to me sending me forward with the ball. I knock the ball past one midfielder and run on after it, beating them with speed, I look up to see the run of Pinoe out on the left and slot the ball into the channel behind the defence for her. She takes on the defender, running past before suddenly stopping her run. She wants for the defender to lunge for the ball and shifts it between her feet, going past and beating the defender. Alex screams for the ball in the box and Pinoe supplies it, floating the ball in for Alex to connect a header.

Time seems to move in slow motion, everyone on the pitch watching the header loop over the keeper towards the upper right corner. Agonisingly the ball bounces off the post to the dismay of Alex and the rest of us. However one player is alert to the situation and instead of ball watching she follows the ball and sets off with lightning speed to get on the rebound ahead of anyone else and smash the ball into the back of the net. It’s 1-0 and who else but Lexa! We all run over to her to celebrate, jumping on top of her and hugging one another, showing just how tight knit our team is regardless of the fact that for 80% of the season most of us are opponents to one another. I manage to catch Alex, giving her a quick hug on the way back to our starting positions. I know she won’t be happy that she didn’t get the goal but I’m sure one will come with time. 

I’m not wrong. With only seconds on the clock before half time we win a corner and I make my way over to take it from the left side, placing the ball down and looking for Alex as a target. I take a few steps back and when the ref gives the signal after solving some pushing in the box I run up to the ball and curve it into the box with my left foot sending it right onto the penalty spot. Alex rises like a salmon out of water and connects with power to the ball, heading it past the flailing goalkeeper and into the goal to make the score 2-0.

The second half continues as the first half ended and at the end of the 90 minutes the score is 4-0. A tribute to the hard work and commitment of our players throughout the game. Amy came on for after after around 70 minutes and got a nice, well finished goal in a 1 on 1 situation against the keeper following a lovely through ball from Horan. Pinoe scored the other goal after some outrageous dribbling and an exquisite top corner curled shot. 

We shake hands with the opposition and go around hugging our teammates as per usual post game. Alex eagerly wraps me in her arms, having come back onto the pitch after the final whistle sounded. 

“Great game Tobs!” she tells me as she pulls back, smiling widely at me. 

“Thanks! Nice goal.” I wink at her, patting her on the back which she definitely earned. 

“Do I get a reward?” She cheekily asks, being very suggestive with how she asks…

“Hmmm I'll think about it. I'm not sure you've done enough…”  I joke, pretending to me serious to see her reaction. 

“I have!!” Alex protests, looking genuinely offended at my remark. 

“Okay, okay! Like I said, we'll see!” I tell her, grinning and walking off to high five Lexa. 

We'll definitely have to wait and see...who knows what could happen? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talex are getting on well aren't they :p  
> Clexa are being cute AF  
> let me know what you think about Anya and Raven's plan to prank Tobin and anything else worth commenting about! :p


	14. A smack in the face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More talex!  
> Training riots  
> Gameday vs Mexico  
> Lexa gets a SMACK in the face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I took a brief hiatus from this so that I could come back rejuivinated and ready to write and I can definitely say that it's worked!
> 
> Next chapter will be this weekend cos I've already started and like I said, I'm rejuvenated. But BE PREPARED there will be sadness, I'll explain next time so READ THE WARNING next chapter! 
> 
> Sorry for not uploading in ages, it's for the good of the story though I promise! :)
> 
> I'm currently on holiday in France, s/o to any French readers! I'm in Royan if anyone wants to hit me up! 
> 
> TOBIN FUCKING HEATH IS ON FIRE AND I'M SO PROUD OF MY GIRL SHE'S SO GOOD HOW???? AND THE THORNS GOT INTO PLAYOFFS AND I'M SO EXCITED COS IF THEY REACH THE FINAL ITS AT PROVIDENCE PARK SO ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN WITH SUCH AN AMAZING CROWD THAT IS THERE FOR EVERY GAME AND WHO KNOWS WHEN YOU HAVE TOBIN FUCKING HEATH
> 
> Also Alex crying made me cry buckets and I'm super sad for her because sad Alex is the worst thing. Orlando have some serious work to do in defence and midfield. I only trust Krashlyn behind their attack. 
> 
> OK IM NEARLY DONE TALKING...  
> I got my exam results back and needed AAB and got BBC but still somehow got accepted into my first choice idk how but they probably loved me for some reason! So I'm off to The University of York in september and I can't wait!!! - this might mean pauses to this story BUT I WILL NEVER ABANDON! 
> 
> Love you all so much! <3

**Tobin pov**

“So...about this reward…” Alex asks while we are hanging out in my room this evening. Allie is out and she promised not to be back until super late because we have a little more freedom tonight having played a game today. I'm very grateful, but she wants to hang out with her friends, so it's a win win for us. 

“Well...I think you, should maybe develop a little bit more patience.” I state, slightly tapping her on the nose with my fingertips at the word ‘You’. It causes her to smile and look down at her hands, which are of course fidgeting. I know her well enough to know this means something is on her mind. 

“Whats up Alex?” I ask her, after the silence following my little joke about her needing to wait a little bit.

“Nothing.” She smiles at me, which I can only interpret as fake. “I'm fine.” She follows, after I raise an eyebrow at her.

“I don't believe you!” I tell her, giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze in an attempt to calm her down. It seems to work after a moment of her collecting her thoughts. 

“Fine...I just feel like...well...You don't want me.” Alex finally tells me, almost making me break into tears at hearing her say such a thing. Of course I want her, really I do! I’m not ready to cross that line yet. 

“Oh Alex...You can't be serious girl!” I respond, the shock evident in my voice that she would even suggest such a thing. 

“I...I…” Alex stammers, unable to formulate coherent english.

“I'm just not sure if I'm ready yet. You're my first Alex, and I don't want to disappoint you. Please, don't get me wrong, I want more than anything to show you how I feel about you in so many different ways. But I also want to take things slow, know you more, as Alex the girlfriend than Alex the friend.”

“Well, what do you want to know?” Alex asks, moving to sit on the bed, resting her back against the headboard. 

“How about we play truths?” I ask her, thinking it will be the best way to go about this task. 

“What's that?” Alex asks, although she probably has an idea of what I mean. 

“Basically truth or dare but without the dare part because there is only two of us and we have done a million dares before and it never ends well…” We both laugh at that, conjuring up memories of her spraying a policeman with snow spray last Christmas while we were a little bit drunk at a party. Just a little.

“Ok, how has your impression of me changed since we first met?” I ask, smiling at her while I ask her the first question. 

“Well I always thought you were a dork when we first met and nothing has changed there sooo….” She replies cheekily, earning a slap on the shoulder. “Ok ok! You've definitely grown on me, let's just put it that way!” 

“Good! I'd hope so!” 

“Do you...do you um like guys as well as girls or…?” Alex asks, surprising me at the question but also its something we have never talked about so it makes sense. 

“Well I like you, that's all that matters. But no, probably not. Pretty sure I'm fully 100% gay and I love it!” I reply causing a small bit of laughter at her from my confession. 

“What most attracted you to me?” I ask her, grinning at her already knowing her answer but wanting to hear it from her lips.

“Well you're fucking awesome! It has to be the smile, I can't let a day pass without witnessing that capturing megawatt smile!”

“You're gushing…” I tell her, smirking at the expression on her face as she realises she is doing so. 

“Shut up asshole.” she mutters, rolling her eyes at the smirk still on my face.

“Mind if I up the temperature?” she asks, waiting eagerly to hear my response, holding eye contact the whole time. 

“Sure, go for it. We know pretty much everything else about each other anyway. As I said, I still don't know you as Alex the girlfriend really!” 

“True! Ok hmmmm... Name something I do that turns you on.” She asks, causing me to blush while I consider the question. 

“When you do the thing where you bit your lip and make eye contact. It kills me every time. Or even more so when you're in front of me during stretching.” I wink at her, now making it her turn to blush. 

“Hey you perv!” she returns, acting offended … “Hey I'm your girlfriend...I'm allowed VIP front row seats to you.” I follow up, causing her to look a little more shocked but she then only goes and bites her fucking lip, not breaking eye contact from me. She's definitely playing with me, revenge maybe?

“You look a little flustered suddenly Tobs, is it something I did?” She asks innocently, but in reality she is far from that. 

“You know exactly what...anyway, my turn!” Alex simply smirks and waits for me to think of a question. 

“If you could change one thing about me, what would it be and why?”  

“Hmmm I mean I wanna be cringy as fuck and say ‘I wouldn't change a thing about you’. But if you want a real answer, I would probably want you to sleep less so I get more time with you!” Alex jokes, but probably half serious because she isn't wrong. I literally sleep all the time. Especially on game day, its my favourite thing to do! 

“Fair enough, I'll work on that.” I smile at her, reassuring her that I want to be the best girlfriend for her that I can be. 

“Why did you wait so long for me to realise my feelings for you? You could have told me  loved on years ago!”

“Well if you don't forget I did almost date Clarke, you're lucky I didn't! But I always thought you would end up with Servando all your life. I refused to move on until I found someone who I knew would be worth moving on for. That didn't happen. Maybe Clarke and I would have worked out, but equally we could have ended up simply as best friends as we are now. Sorry that was a long answer, but you probably understand?”

“Yeah I do, I'm glad I became available to you before then. I don't know what I would do if I realised it too late!” 

“Me neither, but hey it's worked out pretty well now!” I smile at her and she smiles back at me, happy in this moment we are now in. 

“Are you still bi now?” I ask her, curious as to her current situation post Servando and now that she is with me.

“Guys can fuck off!” Alex states straight away, bringing out laughter between us. 

“I take that as you only have eyes for me?” I suddenly blurt out without thinking first...

“Oh my God Tobin are you serious right now?? Of course I do!!! You're my girlfriend!!” Alex tells me, making it clear what I needed to hear. 

“Ok, just checking!” I reply, holding my hands up in mock surrender to her. But it reassures me and fills me with confidence that I can trust her. I can see that she is telling the truth, I've known her long enough to know when she isn't. 

“Let's get back to the level we were at before…” Alex states, smiling devilishly at me with a huge grin on her face.

“What is  my  your favourite part of  your  my body to touch?” Alex asks adventurously, her eyes locking with mine. 

“I want to be able to say that cute butt of yours, however I have a feeling that is a hands off zone...for now…So since we are yet to explore that avenue for now...It has to be your lips.” I reply, my eyes drifting down to take in the vision of her slightly parted lips. 

“Well I'm giving you full permission to go there, when you're ready.” Alex smirks, knowing the effect she has on me.

“So you can't resist my lips, huh?” Alex follows up, her lips curving upwards and her eyes drifting down to my lips too. 

After a moments silence while we both seem to be thinking the same thoughts she suddenly leaps across the bed and attacks me, pushing me against the backrest, her lips meeting mine passionately and with a serious feeling of need. I run my tongue over her lips, receiving access the moment she realises my intentions. Our tongues meet in a fiery dance, the kiss deepening with the feelings poured out between us.

Eventually we have to seperate for oxygen, the only reason that would make us reluctantly do so. Heavy breathing is the sound that fills the room, I can feel her breath on me tickling me while our foreheads are resting together. 

Slowly I pull back and open my eyes to meet hers. Her pupils are dark, clouded by desire and passion, the outer colour her usual blue, like the ocean, so beautiful and captivating. 

Once again she moves back in, this time the kiss is softer, more meaningful than full of lust and passion. I move my hands from her hips to her cheeks, caressing them with my fingertips softly. 

I know it sounds crazy because we have barely been together long but I think I love her. NO. I don't think, I know. I do love her, so much. I have to tell her, I have to tell her the three words. 

“Hey...um Alex?” I start, ending the kiss slowly and pulling away from her, my hands reaching out to hold hers. 

“Yes?” Alex asks, suddenly looking a little alarmed and uncertain at me stopping her.

“I lo….”

At that moment the door opens loudly and Allie walks in, stopping and taking in the scene. 

“Oh hello Alex.” She smirks at us, as if she knows exactly what she has just interrupted. 

“Oh hi Allie. How are you?” Alex responds politely, trying to subtly put some distance between us, which doesn't go unnoticed by Allie.

“I'm good. It looks like you two have been having fun!” She says slyly, slightly mocking us but also probably rather surprised. 

“We have just been chilling, nothing too exciting.” Alex starts, trying to hide what we have really just been up to, however she is interrupted almost straight away by Allie. 

“Yeah right, cut the bullshit. Oh my God I bet you two are so fucking cute together, I can't wait to tell everyone!” She tells us, bringing up fear deep inside me. 

“No!” We both shout immediately afterwards, the shock clearly showing on our faces. 

“You can't tell anyone! Please!” Alex almost begs, earning a grin from Allie.

“Fine, I got ya. I know what's it's like to be in your position so you have no need to worry. I got your backs.” Allie reassures us, which calms the storm of worry that was building inside the both of us. 

We both tell her thanks before Alex decides to turn in for the night as it looks like our evening together just the two of us has ended now. Since Allie knows about us we take the opportunity to share a quick kiss goodnight, leaving me blushing under the watchful eyes of Allie once Alex is gone.

 

“So how long has this been going on for then?” She asks, slightly smug at having witnessed the awkwardness of the two of us getting caught so easily. 

“Not long. We're both new to this, hence our choice to keep us on the down low until we are ready for people to know.”

“Fair play. So you hooked up and realised there is more to it or what?”

“I think we both had feelings for each other for years but Alex had a boyfriend the whole time and I was stuck waiting and almost gave up.”

“Damn quite the rollercoaster I bet. Definitely a better love story than twilight!” Allie jokes, going old-school with the joke. 

“Doesn't take much.” I mutter, bringing out a small chuckle from the two of us. 

“Just a word of advice...Don't wait too long though, otherwise you both might feel like the other is unsure or whatever.”

“Ok, thanks. I just don't want to push her, especially considering what happened to her last relationship. She's still fragile, even if she looks like a total beast on the soccer field and would never admit it off the field.” I let out everything that has been playing on my mind, allowing the emotions of my thoughts to come pouring out. 

“Hmm true...Damn If she was a goalie not a forward I would tell you that you've got a keeper!” Allie jokes, lightening the mood with her trademark weirdness.  

“She's hot too!” she jibes, at which I glare at her, being the overprotective girlfriend that I am.

“Hey!!! MINE!!! Don't even think about it!” I growl at her which she finds extremely amusing. She isn't wrong, but she isn't allowed either!

“I’d totally f….”

“NOPE STOP RIGHT THERE!” I shout, causing her to start laughing at my reaction, at which I join in too. Allie seems pretty awesome to have as a roommate, she's definitely a good laugh and an absolutely hilarious dancer as I've found out.

Every time a tune she likes comes on whenever we are chilling with music on she jumps up and pulls off some ridiculous moves. Ok to be fair to her she is definitely much better than Alex! 

“So have you got your eye on anyone?” I ask as we get ready for bed, taking it easy after some intense soccer earlier in the day. 

“Maybe I do. Maybe I don't…” Allie replies, leaving nothing to go off. 

“So all the visits to this mystery friend…?” I continue to probe, curious as to what she might be hiding up her sleeve. 

“You're kidding right???” She immediately replies back, acting almost as if I've offended her in some way. I wait for her to continue, unsure of how to react. 

“Ok ok.” I hold off for a moment, giving her the impression that I'm done, before continuing much to her displeasure. 

“So someone back home then?” I ask, still trying to fulfil my curiosity. She knows about my relationship so it's only fair, right?

“Nopeeee I'm not telling you anything!!” She folds her arms and sits there looking ahead. So damn stubborn wtf! I'm close to giving up now.

“Ok then...Boyfriend or girlfriend? At least tell me that much!”

“I don't have anyone! But I'm straight.... Ish.” Allie replies, making me laugh so hard as she says ‘Ish’ afterwards. 

“Ah ok. Well I'm super tired after today so I think I'm gonna sleep now.” I tell her, which is true, I'm exhausted. 

“Same here. I'm up for sleeping now to be honest.”

“Ok, goodnight Allie.”

“Night Tobin.” 

She switches off the bedside lights, leaving the room dark and only filled with the sound of breathing and the constant late night traffic of LA. 

I do however really wish I could be with Alex tonight, as we usually are when we are back in Cali, I guess it makes me appreciate her even more. You can't quite understand how much something means to you until it's gone. In this case it is only for a few nights and we see each other all day but I still wish I could be with her. Maybe something can be arranged? I miss sleeping with her in my arms, her presence and the peace that comes with it. That is my last conscious thought before I drift to sleep within minutes of the lights going off. 

 

“Ok ladies today will be warm up, rondo’s, tactical work and scrimmage.” Jitka informs us, telling us about the plan for training today in preparation for the Mexico game on saturday. After some warm up exercises and stretching we regroup for further instructions. 

“Dare I leave you to sort yourselves into groups for rondo?” Jitka asks sarcastically after some general guidance about being ready for the game on Saturday. She then turns to walk away back to the coaches leaving us to it, at which I turn and immediately grin to Alex.

“Hey Tobs, you up for getting that wonderful ass kicked?” Alex jokes, grinning and playfully wrapping her arms around me from behind. To everyone else the embrace might look like friendly banter, but to us the contact really means more than that. 

“Maybe you can kiss it better later if so?” I whisper in her ear, my head tilted back towards her. It didn't mean to sound the way it did...or did it?

Realising that we are in public in front of our whole team I quickly try to wriggle free from Alex’s embrace but in doing so accidentally put her off balance and before I know it we are both in a heap on the ground with all eyes on us. 

Shit.

I try to stand up but due to the tangled limbs I lose balance once again and end up accidentally placing my hand over her left boob to gain balance. 

Shit again. 

Eventually after much struggle and absolutely no help from our teammates we get up and try to compose ourselves but with little success. The same can be said for our teammates who are killing themselves laughing so hard, all except one. 

“Are you two gay or something, what was that?” The girl asks, not in a joking way as you would expect, but more of an almost threatening way. What the fuck! 

“Did you just use ‘gay’ as an insult?” Pinoe steps in, right on the girl’s case before she even has a chance to take her next breath. 

“I um...I didn't mean it that way, I just don’t think I will be comfortable here if so.” the girl replies, shocking everyone here with her comments. 

“What do you mean?” Lexa joins in now, pressing on to figure out whether this girl is really serious. 

“I can't support homosexuality, it doesn't match my beliefs and…”

“But we aren't together we are….” I state  trying to take some of the attention away from me and Alex. 

“Just leave it Hinkle, you girls too. It's done.” Anya intervenes, glaring at the girl before ordering us to group off for rondos. 

Once all the group's are decided we are with only 4 and in need of one more player, unfortunately that is this Hinkle girl. Pinoe quietly tells us that we are going to really mess with her during this drill, ‘just’ a simple nutmeg competition. I mean yes we are a team and we support each other, but I don't think anyone here would willingly want to train with her after the display just earlier. She deserves payback, right?

Our group therefore is Hinkle, Pinoe, Lexa, Alex and I. Ankles may be broken in the process of this el rondo game. 

Since Hinkle is a defender it makes sense for her to go in the middle, leaving us on the outside to begin our revenge. 

We start off relatively simple, just passing the ball into the gaps that form when we are closed down. The only way Hinkle will intercept the ball is from a poor touch or pass.

After a minute of normal sideways and diagonal passing I take the risk. I hesitate on the ball and allow her to close the gap, making it look like I'm panicking I pivot my body slightly to make an obvious pass to the right, an easy interception. As my foot makes contact with the ball Hinkle lunges forward to intercept the ball, but it isn't there anymore. I quickly scoop the ball around to the left, through her open legs, making the pass across to Pinoe. GOT YA!

The other girls break into exaggerated celebrations, jumping up and down and shouting wildly. 

We receive a dirty look from Jitka, who immediately sets us back to work, understandably so…

The tempo resumes at a high pace as we move the ball around quicker, still just out of reach of Hinkle. Most games you end up switching out every minute or so from interceptions and poor first touches, but the chemistry the 4 of us share is just too much for the poor lady. 

Lexa is the next to get her, she pretends to miss control the ball, allowing it to bounce behind her. She turns with her back to us, anticipating the arrival of Hinkle behind her. When the ball reaches a good height she flicks it with her foot over her head and that of Hinkle. Lexa calmly continues on playing, pretending that never happened, her commander side showing as usual. But we all know that inside she is actually buzzing from the skill. She lives and breathes soccer afterall.

Pinoe continues doing her usual fakes and ankle breaking changes of direction. She's so good at making you think she will go one way and instead playing the ball the complete opposite. You know it's coming, but there is absolutely nothing you can do about it! In this case Hinkle is the unfortunate victim of her talent. 

By the end Hinkle only ended up making a few interceptions, but as soon as she got one of us in the middle the others sneakily fed her difficult passes to control and it wasn't long until she was back again.

To be fair to her she kept going and it was a really good training session for us all, we really worked hard and enjoyed it. 

To top it all off I, Queen of the nutmeg, managed to pull off the most humiliating nutmeg. I managed to roll the ball through her open legs after some fakery and instead of allowing it to travel to Lexa opposite me, to add insult to injury I then rolled it back towards me, as if teasing her. I can't help it! Nutmegging is probably one of my favourite things to do, besides sleeping. (And Alex lol).

Just afterwards Jitka calls an end to the session and the girls all go crazy about that last nutmeg, even Hinkle smiles slightly I notice. She deserved it to be fair. 

“Tobs if you ever do that on me you do know I'll have to kill you, right?” Lexa jokes, bumping shoulders with me, but with a serious motive behind it. 

“Noted. I can only nutmeg you normally?” I joke back, 

“If you can manage to nutmeg me I would be extremely surprised!” 

“Tobin can nutmeg everyone…” Alex joins in, backing me against Lexa’s claim.

“Of course she sides with you…” Lexa rolls her eyes, giving us both a frustrated look. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Alex asks, a little more aggressively than she probably meant. 

“Woah chill I was just saying!” Lexa replies, taken aback my Alex’s reaction. 

 

**Lexa pov**

I'm pretty sure that there is something going on between Alex and Tobin. I don't know what but I can see that something is clearly different between the two of them. Alex’s reaction to my joke only further proves my theory. 

I look for Anya within the group of players gathered for Jitka’s next instructions. She's been with her roommate and some others under special request from Jitka as ‘part of her captaincy duty’. 

“Hey An, what's up?” I ask, finally finding her stood next to a girl I'm yet to meet.

“Hey Lex! I'm enjoying training today, I had no idea Tris here is so talented until now!” Anya replies enthusiastically, gesturing to the girl next to her. “This is Tris by the way. Tris this is my cousin Lexa who I told you about.”  Anya introduces her to me, smiling fondly at the girl while she does so. 

“Hi!” I say to the girl, smiling at her warmly as I introduce myself. The girl however just waves awkwardly and moves slightly behind Anya, she's clearly very shy.  

“Tris is a freshman, she doesn't know anyone here so coach asked me to look after her. She's a really sweetheart!” Anya goes on, starstruck by this girl next to her.

“Wait did you say freshman?” I suddenly realise, wanting to confirm if what Anya just said is true and that what I heard isn't wrong. 

“Yep, I thought the same too at first. It's completely unheard of to be called up so early but she seriously impressed the scout team enough to get called up already!” Anya confirms, shocking me that such a thing is possible. Even Anya didn't get called up til her second year, and real good defenders are not very easy to come by. 

“What position do you play?” I ask Tris, trying to involve her instead of talking about her to Anya right in front of her. 

Again the girl shyly looks to her feet, seemingly lacking the confidence to talk to me? 

“She's an attacking mid.” Anya replies for the girl, giving me a look I recognise from all the years as the ‘I'll tell you later’ look. I nod to Anya slightly in response. 

“That's awesome Tris! And by the sounds of things you're pretty good at it.” I turn to tell her, smiling warming at her, which finally manages to receive a smile from her. 

She nods a small thanks and I tell Anya I better get back to my group, wishing Tris well for the rest of the session. 

 

The rest of training goes by smoothly and everyone feels comfortable and confident for the Mexico game at the weekend. We know that they will be harder to break down than Argentina. They will defend a lot and will be structured well to stop us finding much space in the attacking third of the pitch. Unlike Argentina who seemed to only attack and gave us a really easy game with so many opportunities. 

 

“Yes! I'm open!” Tobin shouts as she races through the midfield ahead of me, calling for the ball to be played to her. I pass it and she turns, already looking for Alex up front. She plays an exquisite ball over the top perfectly into the path of Alex who takes it in her stride.

“Ow!” I hear from where Tobin is, she's down clutching her foot and ankle in what looks to be extreme pain. A Mexican player is standing over her, protesting their innocence, which seems stupid because Tobin was obviously caught after playing the pass. The referee opts to play the advantage rule, making a split second decision to resume play and come back to the incident once the phase is over. Alex, much to her frustration of seeing Tobin down in pain, continues playing and rounds the keeper in cool fashion to score in a 1v1 thanks to the perfect through pass from Tobin. The celebrations are muted however due to the foul on Tobin. The Mexican player is still demanding they aren’t guilty but within moments Alex has made her way over and is seriously losing her cool. 

“What the fuck was that??? You were so late, there was no need to challenge!” Alex starts shouting, furious at the player who just smirks as if saying ‘what do I care’.

“I went for the ball.” she simply states, which earns a number of shouts from our team against their lame excuse. 

“That's a card at least?” Alex continues, getting more and more angry at the incident. However the referee claims they didn't see the challenge and the linesman repeats the response much to our disappointment. 

“That's fucki…..”

“ALEX THAT'S ENOUGH!” Anya shouts, entering the argument having tended to Tobin.

“Sorry.” Anya directs at the ref who accepts the apology but isn't happy at the outburst.  She pulls Alex away from the group crowding around the ref and gives her a talking to, not happy with her poor discipline.

Play resumes, even after Tobin showed the stud marks that had drawn blood under her sock and the player only got a warming. Alex got a yellow card for dissent which she accepted but was clearly frustrated. I've never seen her like that before…

The game becomes dirty, fouls flying in all over from their team, but the ref seems content with their cards in their pocket. I swear the ref is actually Mexican?!?!?!

I'm the next to receive the treatment of constant hidden elbows and kick outs every time I take on defenders. It doesn't help that every time I have the ball I have three angry Mexicans trying to kill me. On the positive side it means more spaces are open in the middle and I squeeze the ball through a tight gap into the feet of Tobin, who switches the ball with a lofted pass out to Pinoe. In typical Pinoe style she twists and turns at ankle breaking speed, trying to create an opening which she gets and powerfully crosses the ball low across the face of the goal. All it needs is a small touch to direct it into the goal. Alex slides in, giving everything just to get a touch on the ball but she can't quite reach it and no one else manages to get on the end of the cross. That was a real opportunity that we should have taken. 

The minutes pass with more fouls and stoppages in play, frustrating each of us but driving us to want revenge. With only seconds on the clock before half time a rare corner for Mexico is valiantly defended, but Anya receives a vicious elbow to the face from a Mexican defender after both rose to get a head to the ball. She goes down with a cry, something that few have witnessed before. When Anya goes down you know it isn't good because she is an actual warrior. She has a nasty cut on the side of her forehead which she claims isn't bad but has to be treated on the sideline while play continues. The offender receives a yellow card but there are a number of protests from our players that it deserved to be more. 

Ash launches the ball upfield as the game is given 3 minutes stoppage time for the countless fouls. A rare mis-control from Pinoe allows Mexico to win the ball and counter attack. Probably their first genuine attack when not counting the predictably easy to deal with long balls forward. Meanwhile Anya is undergoing the compulsory concussion tests, leaving us short at the back. 

A misjudged bounce allows their forward to pounce on the ball, they manage to get a shot away, which hits the post...it bounces off the post and off the back of a diving ash, trickling over the line with such annoying luck.

Our heads drop as the Mexican players celebrate, some smug looks are directed our way especially from their more aggressive players. 

We received lots of support and shouts of encouragement from the bench, especially Jitka, which fuels us to scrape by to half time without any further incidents. Except a couple more needless fouls obviously. 

The dressing room is quiet at the intermission, with no one wanting to talk about what had just happened. Yes, it's only a friendly, but this is the opportunity to show what we can do to push for the senior team, and with a performance like this it isn't looking good. 

“Let's be honest, apart from the goal, this was definitely a half to forget, yes?” Jitka starts, referring to Alex with a smile at the superbly cool finish. 

“I want as much as you to shout at the ref, its their job to protect you all and they are definitely not doing that and it angers me to see you all like this because of their inability. But listen…

You have to put this all behind you because out there your job is to win and you 100% have the ability and talent to do so. But this takes mental challenge into account, can you keep working hard with the odds against you? If, and only if, you can overcome this mental challenge can you prove yourself on this stage. Forget the fouls, forget what they are saying. If they give you an elbow, nutmeg them. If they say things about you then show them you prefer to play rather than mouth off. And if they want to stop you, you score and you keep scoring until you can no longer move. Understood?!?” 

Everyone in the room responds positively cheering and shouting, the adrenaline rushing through us preparing us for the second half. We can win this game, and win it is what we plan to do! 

Arod and Allie come into the game at half time, Jitka using the friendly as a means of trying out players, giving us all chances to prove ourselves at some point, whether in training or matches. 

We have kickoff and use it to make a lightning quick start to the game, putting all fears of the Mexican ‘park the bus’ tactic behind us. 

Alex plays the ball to Tobin, who passes it to Ali, then it is shifted back to Anya who is pushing up the defensive line aggressively nearly to the half way line already. She takes a touch, looks up and sees Alex pressing the back line. From there she plays the ball high up to Alex, who gets her body between the defender and the ball, cheating it down. I make a run down the right wing and shout for it to be played, careful to stay onside by slightly curving my run while I wait. Alex recognises the move from one of our training sessions and slots the ball between the Mexican left sided centre back and fullback, playing me through into space. She continues her run on towards the penalty spot while I take a big touch, knocking the ball into space to beat my marker with explosive pace. Alex draws the Mexican defenders due to her attacking threat which leaves Tobin free to arrive from the left where she is more comfortable. I pull the ball back across the box, behind Alex which confuses the defenders and into the path of the arriving Tobin. She takes a touch, fakes a shot on her right cuts onto her left and makes room for the shot with some quick footwork. She sends the ball thundering into the top left corner from her left foot, almost taking the net with it in the process!  

Alex immediately runs over and Tobin jumps into her arms, screaming with passion and excitement. It was a crazy goal and the whole team crowds around congratulating Tobin, with a few words of advice exchanged between players for after the restart. 

Mexico have to score again, it's simple, they are a goal down and nobody ever wants to lose. They have to attack and hopefully then we will have more space to play the more exciting soccer we want to play. 

Indeed they stop defending in favour of a more aggressive attacking approach. Instead of fouling us to get the ball off us they instead now foul us to get us out of the way. 

After around 60 minutes Tris is bought into the game for Pinoe, who has been struggling with a small but annoying muscular injury to her thigh. She runs over to Anya first and gets a high five before jogging into position in the attacking mid spot, while Tobin moves out to her favoured left forward spot. I've played with her in some scrimmages and while she doesn't ever talk she makes up for it with her talent, which is so clearly evident. I've never seen anyone with such a perfect first touch, almost like the ball is glued to her foot as she brings it down. Ronaldinho esque I must say! 

She's so calm and collected and always seems to pick the right pass at the right moment. Ok she is a little on the short side, maybe would benefit from some gym work, but who am I to say. She's got the talent to go seriously far. Not as much as my Clarkie, obviously! 

The game seems to flip on its head after Tobin’s goal, we switch to a more defensive formation and aim to score on the counter. We lose a lot of the possession that we had due to dropping deep, however still our quality outshines that of Mexico as they rarely threaten our goal. Mainly thanks to Anya being a brick wall at the back and Ash is only called upon a couple of times. One of which was a spectacular dive down to her bottom right corner to push a shot past the post. 

We get a great opportunity with Anya clearing upfield to Tris and with a couple of one-two passes between the two of us around the Mexican midfielders Tris plays the ball through to Alex for her to run onto, something she does best. Alex looks up and sees the keeper rushing off their line, she knows what to do and she's done it so many times before. She chips the ball, sending it over the keeper and towards the goal...It's too high…

The ball suddenly dips at the last second however, but it isn't quite enough and the ball goes bouncing off the bar and behind for a goal kick. Damn. 

Alex looks so frustrated with herself because she knows that is the sort of chance she would put away nine times out of ten. She shouts something up at the sky, looking very animated, before returning to her position, now hungry for her goal. 

Mexico get a corner in the 88th minute and send everyone up except two players and the goalkeeper, they want this equaliser badly. We each have a player to mark, set piece defending was one thing we focused on in training for this exact eventuality in our game plan. 

The ball is whipped in, an inswinger, making it easier for their attackers to use the pace of the ball to shoot on goal and vice versa for us. One of their defenders jumps higher than everyone else to get onto the ball, sending a powerful header towards the goal. Tris who was on the far post is in exactly the right place to reach across with her right foot and clear the ball away. The ball however doesn't make it out the box, I was focusing so much on marking their number 6 when suddenly I feel a massive smack to the side of my face. The ball slams into me and ricochets back towards the goal, I'm sent stumbling back, my vision blacking out slightly and a feeling of numbness over the side of my face that the ball hit. 

I don't know what happens for the next minute or so, it feels like eternity as I fall to the ground and lie there in pain. I can just about hear shouts from Anya to stop play and others shouting “Clear it!”, I hear a thump as the ball is hopefully kicked away and the shrill sound of the whistle. 

“Lexa?!” I hear from someone bending over me, its Anya, I think. 

I try to sit up but immediately feel dizzy and find myself once again resting on the turf, unable to move. 

“Lex, take your time, you'll be ok just breathe and try to relax.” Anya softly tells me, lightly brushing the hair out of my face with her fingers to look at the impact area. 

The medical team arrive and clear the crowd of players away to get access and make space for me. After some time I’m finally able to sit up and take in my surroundings, my head feels heavy and the side of my face is throbbing. I notice Anya kneeling next to me, a seriously worried expression on her face. 

“Did we clear the ball?” I croak out, finally working out what happened.

“Jesus Lexa really??? Are you serious!!! Yes we did, but that isn't your main worry right now!!” Anya replies, her voice slightly angry but she then softly tells me that I'll be ok. 

I have ice applied to the side of my face and get slowly helped off the pitch by our medical team so that the game can continue. 

 

Christen Press is substituted on for me for the remaining couple of minutes plus stoppage time. Thankfully due to the match being a friendly we have unlimited substitutes to make use of. I watch the game from the bench while the medics look over my injury and tend to it, spraying something cold over the side of my face that I'm told should take a lot of the pain away. 

A lot of the players are in shock at the incident, however some brilliant play from Ali to win the ball back and clear it up to Press allows us one more chance, with mere seconds left of stoppage time. Christen dribbles down the right and plays a pass into Tris, who continues her run with the ball, carrying it forward past two players, she cuts inside, looking for the shot but instead she cleverly chips the ball over the clueless defenders and into the arriving Alex who connects her head to the ball, bouncing it down in front of the goalkeeper. The ball is too difficult to judge at such pace and close distance and the ball slips through keepers splayed limbs into the goal making the score 3-1! 

Alex is visibly relieved at getting her goal after a few chances she would have loved to score earlier in the game. She throws her arms into the air, shouting out of joy and smiling wider than I’ve ever seen from her. Tobin is of course the first one to her somehow despite being a lot further back than a lot of us. She wraps Alex in a hug, whispering something in her ear before they are both engulfed by the rest of the team  eventually ending in a heap on the floor. There is definitely something going on there and detective Lexa is going to be on this case until the truth is revealed. 

Moments after the restart the final whistle is blown and Anya immediately rushes over to be at my side, worrying too much over me as usual. 

“You're gonna have one hell of a bruise from that!” Anya tells me as she stares at the lump that is beginning to form on the side of my face. 

“Urgh it hurts like a bitch too.” I whine, trying to go for the sympathy points from her. 

“Wow! I never though the commander would ever admit to any pain?!?!” she jokes, at which I glare in response but immediately regret it as the pain in my face is increased by the movements. 

“Hey Squid take it easy ok, gotta protect that pretty face of yours for your girl!” 

“I'M NOT A SQUID!” 

“NOPE but you love them!” 

“IT WAS ONE DOCUMENTARY!” I shout at her, knowing that she is joking but fed up of the stupid name she has called me for years now. 

“No need to shout!” She replies, knowing exactly how to push all the wrong buttons. I give up trying to win and instead go for a different approach...

“You took it wayyy out of proportion! But hey squids are pretty cool because they….”

“Yeah yeah! I've heard it a million times. You're obviously fine, I'm going back to the team.” Anya walks off after patting me on the shoulder, finally I'm alone. I haven't seen what it looks like yet, I'm not sure I want to. Clarke is gonna hate me for this, I probably look like an absolute idiot who got the shit kicked out of them. I actually haven't even seen Tris since she kicked the ball right at my face. I know it was unintentional but a “sorry" wouldn't go amiss…she's probably trying to hide from me or something. 

A few others come over to see me, congratulating me on my play before the injury and wishing me a quick recovery. We leave tomorrow, so soon it'll be back to reality once again. Back to my beautiful and amazing Clarke whom I've missed more than anything in the whole world during this time. I think this time away from each other has helped my love for her to grow, missing her has helped me realise how much she really means to me. How much of my heart belongs to her, which I know is all of it. I love her with my whole being, regardless of the fact that we have barely known each other long. I love her and I need to tell her and I need to be with her, I don't want to wait! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw I respect Hinkle' s religious views and understand her reasoning but not her actions as a result of this.  
> However Christianity teaches a message of love your neighbour (everyone)  
> She SHOULD NOT therefore refuse to support LGBT because it doesn't fit her views, she should support the community especially with the wearing of those super cool rainbow numbered jerseys.  
> This is all my opinion and it might be wrong and you might not agree, I just wanted to say this cos I don't wanna spread hate on her as she is a human just like us. It was just a bit of fun in case anyone gets triggered. I'm sorry if you do


	15. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of the game vs Mexico  
> Lexa deals pretty poorly with her injury  
> We found out more about Tris  
> Lexa goes through a million different moods this chapter  
> The girls all have a night out  
> Clarke had a decision to make

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOAH! I know right!! Two chapters in the space of days, unheard of from me! 
> 
> You all deserve it for staying along! <3
> 
> ⚠️!WARNING!⚠️
> 
> -This chapter may trigger some people as it contains deeply emotional and hurtful backstory. Tris has a very sad story with a troubled upbringing involving abuse.  
> This section I placed dotted lines around for those who may find it uncomfortable/triggering to read. Sorry if so, but it's important for the plot.  
> ~End of warning~
> 
> I want to give another s/o to my beta themovfangirl - you're amazing! 
> 
> Also...I wrote a Tobin and You smut which for those of you thirsty readers you might want to check out on my works list! 
> 
> Love you all! Enjoy the chapter!

**Lexa pov**

_Lexa is on the ball, she runs past one, she runs past two, three, four...she's in on goal! Lexa to win the world cup for the US Women's National Team, can she find the finish?!? She lines up the shot and…? She's passed it?? But there is Clarke Griffin to pick up the pass and GOALLLLLLL!! USA SURELY HAVE WON THIS GAME NOW!!! That was wonderful unselfish play from Lexa, nobody even saw the run from Clarke but Lexa did, Lexa always knows and her wife buries the ball into the goal to seal the scoreline... WORLD CUP CHAMPIONS!!!!_

********

A knocking on the door of my room brings me out of my dreaming, dammit I must have fallen asleep. That dream felt so real though, it was perfect, the perfect future in my eyes. It's been a couple of hours since the match and I've just had a shower and changed into clean clothes, I didn't mean to sleep dammit! I had to ice my face and must have drifted off some time during it. Ice my face...that thought immediately draws me back to the reality that is the extreme pain and swelling on the side of my face right now. Even with the painkillers!

How hard did that girl kick the ball????

The knocking on the door grows louder and I reluctantly get up to open it, expecting to see Pinoe wanting to come in.

It isn't Pinoe...

“Hey Lex, how are you?” Anya asks, a concerned time to her voice. Her gaze is immediately drawn to the purple side of my face under the ice pack. I looked in the mirror when I got back to the room and it only confirmed that it looks as bad as it feels.

“Eh, I’ve been better. Hurts like hell, looks like hell.” I reply, the bitterness in my voice showing.

“I'm sorry, these things happen in soccer sometimes. It sucks!” Anya sympathizes, but it doesn't take anything away from the fact that it still happened and still really fucking hurts.

I notice Tris standing behind her now and I can't help but feel anger towards the girl, even though it wasn't really her fault.

Anya notices my change in mood and continues to talk “Anyway, we came here because Tris is really sorry for kicking the ball at you. She didn't know, she couldn't know. But regardless she is sorry.”

“Can't she say it herself?” I snap back at Anya, glaring at the girl with a look that could probably kill.

“Don't be such a bitch, Lexa!” Anya replies stepping between us and getting up in my face.

“Fuck off An, I don't want your sympathy…” I respond, pissed off now at the appearance of these two. I should have just kept sleeping.

“Lexa, you're not being reasonable. She is sorry and she didn't mean it, you know this is what you sign up for when you play soccer.” Anya tries to reason but with no success...

“Yet she can't even say sorry herself, what the fuck…”

Anya pushes me back hard sending me stumbling backwards towards my bed and she slams the door in my face. Ok maybe I went too far?

20 minutes later she is back again, alone this time, banging on my door relentlessly.

“Lexa open the door right now or so help me you'll never see another sunrise!” she shouts, probably alerting the entire hotel but not caring in the slightest. I decide for my own safety to open the door…

“We need to talk.” is all she says, stepping inside and closing the door behind her. She looks...sad, hurt?

“Ok.” I reply, removing a lot of the anger in my voice at the sight of Anya close to tears. Something I have rarely seen in my entire life, which alarms me.

“I need to tell you about Tris…” She starts, sitting on my bed and patting the duvet next to her, inviting me to sit next to her.

“She has become somewhat like an adopted daughter to me, at least that's how I see her. If you want, I guess I'm her mentor…

Anyway, more importantly, she's selectively mute... It means that she has an unwillingness to speak in specific social situations or to specific people. I've spoken to her and she is happy for me to share with you so you can understand her better, she doesn't want you to hate her. She admired you as a soccer player and from what I've told her about you. Until just earlier that is...

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

She had a...a difficult upbringing. Her parents were abusive and she suffered with it for so long. Something no child should EVER have to go through. Then, when she was 12 her parents disappeared, she's never seen them since or heard of them. All their belongings were gone and she was left all alone until the police found her after some neighbours repeatedly reported incidents that failed to be investigated for whatever stupid reason I don't know.

She entered into the foster system, where she was bullied for being smaller than everyone else. Seriously how low do some people go?!?!? Anyway, she found her love for soccer when one day a coach came in to do an activity day with the kids. From then onwards soccer has been her release, her way of communication and her freedom. Finally when she was adopted she thought she might finally have a real family, however yet again society failed her. To them she was just someone to do chores, someone to make their lives easier. She disappeared to play soccer every day at the local park until she was approached by a scout for a local team who wanted to trial her. Her parents beat her when they discovered that she was actually talented and she ran away from home. The police found her days later and returned her, again a catastrophic failure on their behalf.”

 

“Anya you don't have to continue”, I interrupt at the sight of tears trickling down her cheeks. But she continues onward, regardless of how difficult this is for her to tell.

 

“They stopped her from playing, they locked her in the house. Long story short, it was her coach who rescued her from her prison. She knew the address that Tris lived at and basically demanded that she be released because she knew something was wrong.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

She was eventually offered a full scholarship at Stanford and eagerly accepted the offer to get away and establish her life at a place that she will be able to fulfill her greatest dream.”

Anya finishes talking, taking a deep breath in order to try to control her emotions at the shocking story.

I feel sick, I feel like the world’s most horrible human being. How could I treat her like such shit over a tiny soccer incident. She must hate me, she must think I'm disgusting. No wonder she chooses not to interact with me, especially after my display earlier. I doubt she ever wants to see me again. If she really is like a daughter to Anya then I've seriously fucked up. Anya must be able to tell what I'm thinking as she has always been able to do, much to my dismay.

“Lex you need to learn to control your emotions better. What happened to The Commander? But that's something for you to think about yourself, ok ? But now I think you owe someone an apology?” Anya firmly tells me, instructing not asking. She's right, I owe Tris an apology, and more…

We go to her room down the corridor and Anya lets us in, rubbing my arm reassuringly because she knows how much this has affected me with my similar but less extreme experience.

Tris is sat on her bed, wearing an oversized hoodie and listening to music with earphones in. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying and she is clinging onto a football like her life depends on it. My heart breaks at the sight. I want to be able to show her I'm so sorry, I don't think words can do that. Not after how I treated her.

An idea pops into my head.

I walk over to her and take the football from her hands, must to her displeasure I notice.

 

_America’s greatest young talent,_

_Your home is with us._

_Never doubt that._

 

I write on the ball with a marker pen that was lying on Anya’s desk.

I hand the ball back to Tris and she grabs it out of my hands, as if by magnetic force. Her eyes go wide as she reads the simple but meaningful message that I wrote on it.

I kneel on the bed, moving to sit in front of her so that I can speak to her directly, her eyes remain firmly fixed on the ball.

“You were incredible today.” I tell her, at which her eyes momentarily flicker upwards before falling once again to the ball.

“You stopped a certain goal off the line and then set one up like a magician at the other end…You weren't even on the pitch much more than 20 minutes too! And you did way more than me!” I see her lips slightly curve upwards but only for a short time.

“I've never seen a player as good as you for a freshman, hell I don't think I was anywhere near your level then." I'm not lying, she is a serious talent. If she was a right winger I would be worried for my position in the starting team. Youngster or not.

“Hey can you look at me please?” I ask softly, unsure as to if the girl will listen to me. She slowly lifts her eyes to meet mine, they are a soft hazelnut colour, matching her hair.

“I'm truly sorry about what I said. I didn't know. But it still doesn't excuse my behaviour, I don't deserve to be here right now but please, accept my deepest apology.” I ask, hoping and praying but not expecting her to forgive my stupidity.

After a brief pause she nods her head slightly, her eyes meeting mine once more, filling me with hope.

“Thank you. It's ok.” She whispers quietly, almost inaudibly but it's enough for me.

 

“We were going to watch the El Classico if you want to join us?” Anya asks after I'm done apologising to Tris. I can see that she is happy that I've done the right thing in her eyes.

“Oh no, I shouldn't be involved in your time together…” I try to tell Anya, but she isn't having it, as usual.

“Kickoff is in 10 minutes…” Anya tells me, retrieving a big bottle of coke from the fridge and pouring it into three glasses and grabbing a couple of bags of Doritos too. Our traditional set up for watching soccer since we were kids. Dammit she's impossible.

“Ronaldo is just so much better!” Anya argues, as we have our hundredth argument over the Messi or Ronaldo debate.

“Messi is the more complete player. Ronaldo only scores tap-ins now anyway…” I reply bringing up his change in position from winger to more of a poacher role under Zidane.

“Overhead kick against juventus?” Anya reminds me, bringing back memories of her uncontrollable shouting and screaming following that outrageous finish.

“Bale’s was better! Where was Ronaldo in the champions league final?”

“You can't expect him to be amazing in every game…”

“Messi is!”

“Bullshit!”

The argument is silenced by Real Madrid winning a free-kick just outside the box in what can definitely be described as a dangerous position. There is only one player to step up here. Ronaldo sets down the ball and sets about going through his overly dramatic pre-free kick ritual of arms pointing down and deep breathing.

The whistle finally blows after the ball is put into place and the ref is happy. Ronaldo steps up and kicks the ball……….

Straight into the wall as always! HA!

20 free kick goals from 300 free kicks at Real, definitely overrated at them. He was good at them at United to be fair, but he seems to have lost it since joining Real. Laugh even harder.

“You wish!” Next time they should let someone else take it!.

“Isco.” Tris says softly, shocking me at her sudden choice to speak.

“Can he take them?” I ask, watching Tris nod in response.

“Oh I've never seen him take any.”  I responds trying to remember if I have ever seen an Isco free kick.

“He scored a brilliant  free kick against Malaga.” Anya adds, backing up Tris’s suggestion.

“Who is your favourite player?” I direct the question at Tris, wondering if she will have an answer for me.

“Isco, he plays my position.” Tris answers, a beautiful little smile appearing on her face as she says his name.

“Now that you say it, I see the similarities to both your play very clearly!” I reply, telling her the truth of what comes to my mind at this moment. Tris’s smile widens impossibly further at the compliment.

“Thank you.” She responds, hopefully warming to me a little more after our bad start, no thanks to me…

 

The game finishes 2-2, a great contest well fought by both sides in an epic battle to win the bragging rights. The result is a fair one, however when Sergi was sent off before half time you would have expected Real to go on and win the game. Suarez and Messi scored for Barca while Ronaldo and Bale scored for Real. The two biggest heavyweights from both teams coming up big when called upon. I would have loved for Barca to win but at least it wasn't a loss. Anya would have been unbearable for weeks on end with her bragging and teasing.

“As per tradition we are going out tonight as a team to celebrate the wins and the week together.” Anya tells me at the end of the game, at which I realise I will have to go out in public with my face looking like a balloon.

“I'm not going out looking like this An, I look like an idiot.”

“You know how to use makeup, right?” Anya jokes, knowing full well my opinion on the subject.

“You know I hate wearing makeup An, I prefer a natural look.”

“That is definitely not your natural look.” Anya points out, while struggling to contain laughter at my anger.

“I'm not going and that's final.” I turn around to leave the room, hoping I can get out before Anya reacts, but as always she is too quick for me.

“You're going and you'll be ready to leave at 10. We're going to a nightclub nearby. Maybe you can let out some of that anger in a way that isn't punching or shouting.”

Anya lays down her authority and I know that she won't take no for an answer. I have to go and it's going to suck.

 

“How are we even going to get in? Most of us are underage!” I ask Anya as we are on our way to the club.

“I have friends.” Anya replies, creating the opportunity for me to wind her up.

“Woah really?”

“Asshole...I should just leave you outside.” Anya replies, as we round the corner and just ahead of us is our destination.

“Sure, I didn't want to come anyway.” I respond bitterly, I don't want anyone to have to look at me right now.

“Oh ok, well not even for this?” Anya asks, I feel a hand on my shoulder and turn round upon reflex.

There in front of me is my Clarke, beautiful as ever, smiling her radiant smile that fills my heart with so much warmth.

“Lexaaaa!!!” Clarke cries out, acting like a giddy little child.

“Clarke!” I jump into her arms pulling her into a tight embrace that lasts for longer than what others would consider ‘normal’.

Anya clearing her throat causes us to immediately separate, blushing madly. I can feel my cheeks burning red with embarrassment under the watching gaze of the rest of our squad.

“What are you doing here?” I ask once everyone has gone back to their own conversations.

“Well a little birdy told me that you didn't want to come out tonight because you got a tiny little injury, so I agreed to give you some...motivation.” Clarke replies, grinning in a way that is far from innocent.

“But what will everyone think? They are going to make assumptions about us, we agreed not to tell anyone!”

“Well I need to meet with your coach tomorrow morning because she said she needs to talk about something that needs to be in person rather than over the phone. So I guess I now have an excuse to see my girl!” Clarke really has thought this out, damn. Well if she wants to see me, she can have more than just that. We're about to enter a club after all...prepare for a night you'll never forget Clarkie. I wonder how far I can tease her before she gives in, we'll just have to wait and see.

This will definitely be a real test for us tonight though, keeping ourselves a secret despite all the temptations from the music and the drinking. Maybe we could just use the drunk excuse and say it isn't anything serious? No, that would never work, nobody is stupid enough to believe that.

As Anya confirmed earlier, we are all allowed in, regardless of the judging and angered looks of the bouncers, who clearly don't want us to be there. We aren't going to be trouble, are we?

The club is loud, really fucking loud, music blasting out of concealed speakers. The dance floor is a mass of bodies moving to the beat, some people dancing in groups, some in pairs and some alone. It's packed though, this definitely seems like the place to be!

Our large group has comfortably split into smaller groups of friends throughout the week, we’re already a tight knit group which is really great because I know there were a definitely some nerves from the vast majority of newbied at first. Our group consists of Alex, Tobin, Allie (Who already seems drunk without even having touched a drink), sometimes Christen and Arod, obviously Anya and now Clarke. Tris obviously stayed behind at the hotel, which makes total sense, I'm really warming to her and I know she would definitely not be comfortable in a place like this.

We immediately head towards the bar, upon demand from Allie of course. I go for a coke and rum, my usual order to get my blood rushing, gotta get that confidence up for later. Clarke opts for a mojito, which I probably could have guessed, it seems like her kind of drink. Allie meanwhile decides to go all in straight away, opting for a couple of shots of tequila. I can't stand the stuff, it's disgusting, unless I'm drunk. I can't say no once I've had enough drinks unfortunately.

We sit at a table with our drinks, the thumping vibrations of the music making it difficult to hear each other. The others are asking Clarke about why she suddenly turned up and whether she will be playing for us in the future. She avoids the second question which doesn't go unnoticed by me, but I don't care right now, in fact I forget it within seconds anyway.  

Allie goes to the bar and brings back some more drinks, I don't even know what they are but I can feel the alcohol going straight to my head as I down a couple of shots. Suddenly I'm in the mood for dancing and before I even know what I'm doing I'm up and dragging everyone to the dance floor, despite protests from a couple of select individuals * **_cough_ ** * Anya * **_cough_ ** * Clarke. She still thinks she can't dance, well I guess I'll have to prove her wrong. As for Anya...Well...it doesn't take long to work out her and dancing is not a good combination. She stays at the table, nursing a glass of what looks like whiskey, she's a heavy drinker I remember but it never seems to affect her in the slightest. Ever.

The DJ is playing some heavily remixed chart music, I don't really recognise the songs but it has a beat and that's what matters.

I grab Clarke by the hand and drag her into a space, she has no choice but I know that secretly she is enjoying this. I dance next to her, moving to the rhythm of the music, occasionally brushing against her which causes feelings like electric sparks go run through my body at the slight touch.

She stands there for a short moment, unsure of herself, but once she sees me dancing she gives in and joins me, swaying her hips and moving time to me. I continue to ‘accidentally’ brush against her, I'm not sure whether it's my desire or the alcohol but she doesn't seem to be bothered either. The smirk on her face only confirms that she has as much of a part in this as I do. Fuck she looks hot right now. She's in a tight red dress, which barely goes down to her mid thigh  but the best thing about it, is the amount of cleavage I currently have a close up view of. Generous to say the least….It's almost as if her boobs are pushing their way out! I'm mesmerized and apparently staring because she leans back slightly, accentuating the swell of her chest which does things to me that I can't explain in words. I bit my lip and meet her eyes, our bodies still moving to the music, her eyes are blue like the ocean, a wonderful colour that continues to draw me in every time. They are slightly darker right now, from the alcohol? Or something else?

So much for being secretive and subtle...Fuck it...I don't care anymore.

I spin her around and slowly grind up against her, moving perfectly in sync to the beat, the exhilaration of the moment driving me onwards. Her soft ass cheeks feel amazing against me and I wrap a hand around her torso, guiding her along with the music.

Fuck I'm getting wet down below, I can feel it starting to run down my thighs, I'm so turned on by everything right now. I'm not sure if we will be here much longer if this continues, I already feel like I'm in heaven dancing with an angel.

 

**Alex pov**

Everyone else follows Lexa to the dance floor, however I'm not ready to go yet, I need a couple more drinks probably. I get a couple more shots from the bar and down them in quick succession, needing the confidence boost.

“You ok?” Anya asks, almost making me jump because I forgot she was sitting there still.

“I just need a bit more in my system before I go join them.” I truthfully reply and Anya nods knowingly in response.

We sit in silence together for a couple of minutes, I'm mulling over something that has been on my mind for a while now.

“Are Clarke and Lexa together?” I ask Anya, finally building up the courage to ask her the question that has been playing on my mind.

“What would make you think that?” Anya responds, not even giving a sight hint away of what might be going on.

“I...um...There is clearly something going on between them, look at their reaction to seeing each other earlier and um….” I look over the dance floor trying to find the two girls in the crowd.

“Well look at them.” I point them out to Anya, whose mouth opens dramatically in shock and she stutters for a moment looking like a goldfish.

Currently Lexa is grinding against Clarke's ass, holding her hips and moving to the beat. Very intimate for simple innocent dancing together.

“They….I don't know what they are doing. They must have had too much to drink already?” Anya tries to explain, spluttering out excuses but it's too late, I know.

“Bullshit. They ARE together aren't they?!?” I press on, trying to get Anya to give in and agree.

“Fine! Yes they are dating, but DO NOT tell anyone. If you do then you'll be finding a new team. Ok?” Anya responds, scaring me with the threat but I know it's for good reason. I would never tell unless they wanted to anyway!

“Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.” I tell her reassuringly, looking up and smiling at her.

“Good.”

We sit in silence for another period of time, in which I drink another shot, feeling it all going to my head once again.

“I was wondering....Is there a rule about dating teammates?” I ask, another question that has been on my mind recently after I started dating Tobs.

“No, unless it starts to affect performances or gets in the way of soccer.” Anya responds, conforming what I already expected.

“Cool.” I tell her trying to not draw attention to the reason why I asked.

“You know if I were you I would join your GIRLFRIEND on the dance floor before she gets taken from you…” Anya tells me, smirking at my reaction but also looking out for me because as I look for Tobin I see her dancing rather close to Christen. Fuck no!!

“How did you…?”

“You really think I wouldn't notice the glances, the touches, the whispering. Oh and what about the kissing on the plane, you thought I wasn't watching?” Anya blows my mind, making me realise just why Lexa has always said nothing escapes her attention. Dammit we are going to have to be more subtle from now on.

“You're going to want to hurry!” Anya encourages me, noticing Christen getting closer and closer to my girl. Christen’s hungry eyes are eating her up, shamelessly scouring over her body. I don't blame her, but Tobin is MINE not hers! I'm the only one who gets to do that! But who could resist her, she looks amazing in that navy blue dress which hugs her curves perfectly and makes my mouth water at the sight.

I thank Anya for the advice, down one more shot and head over in her direction with purpose, nobody getting in my way.

Once I get to her I drag her away from Christen by the arm and lead her to a space elsewhere on the dance floor. I sarcastically thank Christen for giving her up to me, knowing that she had no say in the matter at all. She glares at me but doesn't go any further, instead she goes over to the bar looking for something to quench her thirst after being denied what she really wanted.

Once we are away I spin Tobin around and lock eyes, showing her my anger and frustration.

“What do you think you were playing at Tobs?” I fire at her, although I really find it difficult to act angry at her because I could never be angry with her.

“Wellllll you were taking agessssss and i wanted to get your attention so I could dance with you!!” She drunkenly responds, she's had wayyy less than me too, I didn't remember her as much of a lightweight?! Maybe it's the dancing adrenaline too, the pounding of the music making it hard not to move in rhythm.

I don't care enough to argue, I have other intentions anyway. I grab her by the waist and push my body against hers, moving to the music, loving the intimacy and closeness of our dancing. She's facing me and I look into her eyes, finding the hazelnut brown orbs, but also something else within her eyes...Desire? Lust?

After a while of dancing together I can't bear it any longer, I need her, I want her more than I can possibly describe. I look around for the nearest exit and after noticing a small fire exit door that seems to be slightly open I put together my plan.

Dragging her by the hand i yank her in the direction of the exit, pushing past sweaty bodies from dancing trying to reach the destination before I collapse into a needy mess.

Once outside I pull her around the corner out of sight of anyone inside and latch my lips onto hers, kissing her hard, not caring about the clashing of teeth at first. Her tongue attacks mine and I fight back, matching the ferocity of the kiss that she pours back at me. I run my hands through her hair, pulling her into me, locking my fingers in her already messed up hair. Her hands slip down to my waist, squeezing hard, trying to make up for the pressure elsewhere.

I'm in heaven, or hell. I don't care which. Whatever it is, the kiss feels electric and her lips against mine feel so right, so delicious, as if they are made for mine. I don't ever want it to stop.

We are interrupted however by another couple who seem to have had the same idea as us, however they aren't even able to make it out the doorway before they find themselves kissing hard, like we were before being rudely interrupted!

 

**Lexa pov**

I can't take it anymore, the feeling of Clarke on me is too much. I'm already dripping at the core from the feeling of her ass rubbing against my most private area.

I suddenly pull away from her, stopping the movements which causes Clarke to look up confused and slightly worried. The sudden end to the movements looks to have hurt however I have a much better idea.

“Follow me!” I shout at her over the music, hoping that she understands what I mean.

She nods and I turn to lead her away from the crowd to a more private place where I can have my way with her. The feelings overwhelming me and the alcohol are a deadly mix and unfortunately for Clarke, or fortunately, however she sees it, she is my victim.

I notice somewhere promising and lead her there, eager to have my way with my stunning, sexy girlfriend. We are halfway through the doorway but I don't care, I can't resist her any longer, I pull her head towards mine bringing our lips together, hungrily kissing her wanting to taste her mouth on mine. Meanwhile my hand creeps up the inside of her thigh, pushing upwards between the material, needing to feel her. I finally reach my destination, feeling the dripping wetness of her panties immediately coating my fingertips. FUCK! She's wetter than me which I didn't know was possible right now!

A movement and noise to our left draws me out of the moment, alerting me to the fact that we aren't as alone right now as I thought we were. I was too lost in the moment to check if anyone else was here. Shit!

“Clarke? Lexa?” I hear a raspy, distressed voice and recognise it straight away. Alex!

Who's with her? I can't quite see because of the shadows of the alley, however I can take a pretty good guess and that is only confirmed a split second later.

“Alex? And...is that Tobin?” Clarke responds, as Tobin steps into the light, her hair dishevelled and her breathing ragged, like everyone else involved in this moment.

“Shit! I didn't expect…” Tobin starts, but can't find the words to express her thoughts in this super awkward meeting.

“You two are…?” I ask, stunned at finding the two of them so involved with each other.

“Yes, and you are?” Alex responds, almost smirking, at least she seems to be enjoying the moment somehow.

“Erm Lexa?” Clarke looks up at me, her eyes meeting mine and her voice suggesting something. Shit! My hand is still stuck up her dress!

I try to withdraw it subtly as my back is still slightly turned towards the other couple, however both of their eyes follow my movements and they both gasp in shock.

“I um…” I try to explain but I don't know what I could possibly say to make the situation any less awkward.

“Looks like someone couldn't wait!!!” Alex jokes, still seemingly enjoying the humour of the discoveries.

“Fuck off! I couldn't help it!” I respond back, frustrated and feeling deprived of my moment with Clarke.

“How long has this been going on?” Clarke asks curiously to the other two.

“Not long, well… We got much closer since Servando and….Well...I guess we have wanted each other for a while actually it just only finally happened as a result of Alex being single…” Tobin replies, stuttering in her words but finally confirming my suspicions of something going on between them. Not just a one time thing then…

“What about you two?” Tobin asks, wondering the same thing.

“Properly….since just before we left for camp” I reply, saving Clarke from having to speak which I'm sure she is grateful for.

“Well...this is awkward!” Alex jokes once more, making me suspicious of her behaviour.

“Did you already know?” I ask Alex before looking over to Clarke to question whether she might have slipped up to her at some point. She looks as clueless as I do.

“Yes. But only for the last 20 minutes or something. I managed to draw it out of Anya after I pointed out the two of you basically fucking on the dance floor.” Alex responds, causing the two of us to blush at the revelation. I look down at my feet, unable to meet their mocking gazes out of embarrassment.

“I think we should go back inside before anyone else notices their teammates are missing?” Clarke takes control, trying to direct the attention away from the two of us because so far we have been nothing but embarrassed in front of the other couple.

We make our way through the crowds once more and plop ourselves down at the table with Anya, who smirks up at us, seemingly aware of what just happened somehow. So many years spent living with her and I still don't know how she does it!!

We all order more drinks, needing to drown the memories of what just happened with the welcoming embrace of high percentage alcohol.

“I can't believe you had your hand there!” Clarke harshly whispers at me while we are sat at the table.

“You weren't complaining at the time!” I smirk at her, knowing full well that if we hadn't been interrupted I could have had her begging.

“I think we need some boundaries…” Clarke proposes, making me freeze at the idea.

“Are you serious?” I respond, frightened at the prospect of having limitations to what I can do with my girlfriend.

“Yes! I'm not going through that embarrassment again!” Clarke protests, blushing once more as she remembers the watchful gaze of Tobin and Alex on our moment.

“So public sex is off the table?” I joke, earning a slap on the arm, probably fairly. But seriously, boundaries sounds like hell!

“We are talking about this soon. NO getting out of it!” Clarke tells me firmly, her serious blue Mediterranean eyes meeting mine which confirms that she really isn't joking.

I smile slyly at her and nod, an idea forming in my brilliant mind. Slowly I move my hand closer to her, edging it towards her thigh, resting it there softly, rubbing her leg reassuringly. Dammit what is going on with me??? I can't resist her at all, it's almost embarrassing! Then I move closer to the edge of her dress, testing whether or not she will be able to resist me as she seems to be claiming. I look at her face and her eyes meet mine, she slightly nods in acceptance which is all I need. She can't seem to resist me either, so much for boundaries…

All this time we have been conversing with the others as if nothing is going on, hiding our unexplainable need for one another.

My hand creeps towards the most perfect destination, now just a hairs width away. Finally my fingertips brush against her panties, I can feel the dampness still present from earlier, dripping onto my fingertips.

“Jesus!!!!” Alex shouts, acknowledging the slight movements of my arm and how out of focus Clarke is acting.

“For fucks sake Lexa!!!” Anya shouts at me, the anger in her voice scaring me as she realises what Alex is referring to.

All I can do is sit there sheepishly, looking like a kid caught stealing from the cookie jar, I have no excuse for this.

“Do you two need a room or something?” Anya snarks, evidently not impressed by our display. “Or was that why you disappeared from the dance floor earlier?” she presses on, causing Clarke and I to meet the eyes of the other couple.

“What's going on weirdos?” Allie asks, arriving at the table, thankfully interrupting our interrogation. She looks so out of it, definitely a few too many drinks, but I can't blame her to be honest.

“Well I think we should leave soon.” Anya tells us, directing her voice towards Allie the most who is swaying on her feet, unable to sit down on the chair.

After a while, thanks to Allie’s bargaining with Anya we leave to go back to the hotel, some of our group in particular struggling to walk (Allie, Pinoe, Ash) and others having to be the responsible adults of the group.

Clarke has her own room in the same hotel as us thanks to Jitka. I manage to convince her to allow me to join her tonight with my incredible charm, although I'm pretty sure it's against the team rules to sleep in a different room. Whatever. I don't care.

Unfortunately (in my mind) we only sleep, nothing further and more exciting than that. However we both fell asleep almost immediately anyway, exhausted from the fun night out with everyone.

 

**Clarke pov**

“Clarke? That must be you? I'm Jitka.” I'm greeted as I arrive at her office in the US soccer building the next morning.

“Hi! Yes, that's me!” I respond, shaking her hand and smiling warmly at her.

“I trust the journey here wasn't too much of a pain?” She asks, referring to my flight over here yesterday.

“It was fine thanks.”

“Good. Please take a seat, I don't expect this should take too long. However it's an important matter to discuss.”

I take a seat and wait for her to explain why she has asked to meet with me, I really don't know what it might be.

“So...I wanted to talk about your international career, as I'm sure you would have guessed.”

“Oh, okay." I reply, suddenly realising what this conversation means.

“Having done some digging I am now informed that you have a choice, yes?” She asks, confirming my suspicions, that she wants me to make a choice to play for the US surely most likely.

“Yes, I have the choice.”

“I'm guessing it's a difficult one?” she raises an eyebrow, quizzing me to work out where I stand on the issue.

“Well yes, my dad was born in and lived in the states for most of his life. I was born in and lived in Australia all my life until now.” I explain, at which she nods, understanding my dilemma.

“And is your mind made up or do you not know yet?”

“I think I know what I want, but it's impossible to make the actual decision. Australia is my home country, I love it there, my lifelong friends are there. America represents my dad, it's my home now, my future in soccer by the looks of things. Honestly I wish I could choose both.”

“I understand. You have plenty of time to choose of course, at the moment we don't need to rush you into our plans. Obviously I would love to have you under my coaching, I've seen a lot of footage and heard some very positive reports on you.”

“Thanks.” I reply, blushing slightly at the compliment, unsure of how to act.

“Look...the decision is yours. I'm not going to try to influence that. But you would be a massive part in my plans and no doubt the plans of Jill with the senior team. I'm yet to talk to her about this but if it would be reassuring for you I can ask her to speak to you?”

“That would be good actually. I'm sure she will have some useful advice!” I respond, knowing that the experienced guidance of Jill Ellis will be so valuable for my decision.

“Might I ask where you currently lie, or would you rather not say yet?”

“Well I'm yet to be contacted by Australia about anything. My inclination is to play for them, since it is my home country, I was born there. However my gut is telling me that the better decision will be to play for you. Honestly, I need time as you said.” I respond truthfully, noticing the thoughtful expression on the face of Jitka.

“Well I'm sure they will contact you soon, if not they are making a serious mistake. You're too good to miss.” Jitka chuckles slightly at the thought.

Am I really that good? I didn't think so but clearly I'm wanted. I hope Australia want me to play for them, but if not then I know the US team will be perfect.

“I'll think it over, thanks for taking this time to tell me about your plans.”

“No need to thank me, you're the star! I'll contact you in a couple of months if you haven't already done so by then.” Jitka informs me. “You don't have to have decided by then, I just want to stay updated if that's ok”

“Sure, that's fine with me.”

“Awesome, well I'll let you go now. I assume you're flying back with the others from Cali?”

“Yep, we are all super close, almost inseparable. Oh, before I leave, may I suggest for you have a look at Octavia Blake some time. Her and Anya make one hell of a brick wall in defence.” I advise her, grinning at the thought of having those two playing at international level together.

“I'm already on it. See you soon Clarke, thanks for coming once again.”

“No problem. Bye!”

 

I leave the office with my mind muddled as to what I should do. I really don't know who I should play for; Australia or USA. Whatever happens I know it'll be incredible to pull on either shirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think of how the couple's finding out about each other?  
> Who will clarke choose? AUS or USA?


	16. UPDATE

Hi

I feel like such a horrible person for not uploading in what has probably been a month or more, I don't even know to be honest. I should have at least provided an update and I'm sorry for not doing so, I really am. 

I moved to university a week ago and I had been super busy in the run up to this and now that I'm here I've had so much going on. I'm also struggling mentally right now, I feel like nothing I do is good enough and for me writing was my way out of all the pressures of life, but it has finally caught up with me. 

I've sat down to write so many times and it just hasn't happened. I don't know why but I'm just not motivated to write, I don't enjoy it anymore because to me it has just become so stressful knowing I have a work that needs finishing and readers who want to read more. Trust me when I say I want a new chapter as much as any of you do! 

The general message is this: I don't know when the next chapter will come. It might be in a few days, it might be in a few weeks, it might be in months. But it also might not happen at all...I really don't know.

I think if I am able, I will release smaller chapters  (3-5k words) rather than around the 5-7k mark which I have been doing. That might help me a lot hopefully. If I release what I currently have, which is around 4500 words then maybe I can get past this stupid writers block. 

Thanks for listening, those who read this. I hate being such a let down but there is nothing I can do. 

Love you all,

\- Matt 


	17. Muffin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of clexa this chapter, I guess bringing the story back to the root - which is Clarke's experience of college.   
> Clarke has some news for Lexa  
> Clexa spend the day together getting up to all sorts  
> A confession ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hi there! Miss me?  
> Lets just put it this way, I had some motivation to write this chapter, what might that be?  
> I MET ALEX MORGAN AND ALLIE LONG LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!! I went to the Scotland vs USA game and it was AMAZING!! I was so sad that Christen and Horan both withdrew, even more upset that Tobin also had to withdraw to be with Christen (PREATH IS ALIVE)  
> But all that aside, Alex is SO CUTE! She was just what I expected, if not even better! Her voice still gets me every time, especially her "yeah sure" when I asked for a selfie. But you know what, Allie was EVEN BETTER! I called her harry and she stopped to take a selfie after chanting "haaaarry haaaarry" she even asked if my name is Harry hahahah! She's just so awesome and bubbly and I'll happily die now hahaha   
> I also met Jill briefly, Pinoe, Carli and loads others as they were getting on the coach. Also Mal is so smol I love her so much, she's the cutest and the baby of the group and just such a lovely girl.   
> ANYWAY...THE CHAPTER  
> I started this months ago but then kinda lost the motivation to write unfortunately. So it might be a little jumpy with the transition to what I wrote more recently, but hopefully it has what I hoped to achieve.   
> I can't promise when the next chapter will be. I will be going home from university on the 28th of November, so some time around that date I will hopefully have a chance to write more!  
> Thank you if anyone is still here after the fairly long hiatus, I'm so sorry not to have managed a new chapter until now.  
> I love you all, my readers <3   
> Oh and my Instagram is tobin17nutmegs if you wanna follow or dm me :)

Clarke pov  
“So what was the meeting about?” Lexa asks as I arrive back at the hotel room that we stayed in last night. She's only just out of bed, sitting there on the edge with her duvet wrapped around her, her messy bed hair on full display, she looks so cute like this. To make it even better, she's wearing only a tank top and shorts, showing off those incredible abs, teasing me with the view, making me desperately want to touch them. It's just past 11am, I'm surprised she slept in so late because she doesn't usually, she'll turn into Tobin at this rate! Constantly sleeping at any given chance.   
“Jitka wanted to talk to me about my future place on the team.” I reply, not giving much away, not wanting to talk about it now because I just can't decide what to do.   
“Really? Why did she call you all the way out here just for that?” She asks, curious and demanding. I can never seem to say no to her, but I'm not sure I want to tell her yet.   
“I guess I'm important” I say, turning to smirk at her, making eye contact and grinning as she smiles back. I see something cross her mind as her face slightly changes…  
Suddenly before I can register anything she lunges forward and grabs my head, pulling me into a deep, passionate kiss. Her mouth meets mine, then her tongue, her body pushing me forward with force all the way down till I’m lying on my back.  
When she breaks the kiss she slowly pulls away, taking in the sight of me below her, her eyes moving from my eyes down to my lips, then back up to meet mine. Fuck she’s so beautiful.  
“I guess you kinda are.” she softly whispers, her voice sounding so sexy with this deep and husky tone to it.   
I can tell what is on her mind as her eyes roam all over my body below her, I know what she wants. Its obvious. She really needs to work on being a little more subtle…  
“Honey. My eyes are up here!” I tell her, smirking as she blushes bright red in embarrassment, realising she had zoned out a little.   
“Mmmmm yeah sorry. I got a bit distracted…”  
“A bit?”  
“Yeah a bit….”  
“Maybe this is a good time to discuss boundaries?” I suggest, although it's more of a statement than a question because this talk needs to happen. I've noticed the so-called ‘Commander’ can't seem to control her actions.   
“Urgh do we have to???”   
“Yes Lexa! I'm worried we will end up moving too fast because of your lack of control!”  
“Lack of control? Are you serious right now?!?”  
“Do I have to remind you where your hand was when we were outside the club, and again when Alex caught you?”  
“Fucking hell Clarke! You had just as much of a part in it as I did. Do you really think I would do that without your permission, huh?”  
“Ok you're right. But I still think it's a good idea to at least know our limits for now…”  
“Fine. Say what you have to say.”   
“I'm not ready for...you know...I'm not ready for us to have sex yet, if that's what you want...I...I want our first time to be special, not some drunken moment of passion…”  
“Clarke, I know that. I want the same as you. I want you...so much! You have no idea! But...I'll wait as long as I have to, as long as you need me to, you know I'm all yours when the time comes.”  
“Thanks Lex. I really, really like you. I do. I can't really explain what it is but I know for sure what we have is special and I don't want to lose you, you're….”  
“Baby, stop right there. Deep breaths, ok? I don't plan on leaving you in a million years. Don't even think about it. We're taking it slow, we'll do this properly.”  
“Thanks Lex you don't know how much that means to me. I feel like I still have so much to learn about you…”  
“Well...It's a good thing I owe you a date when we get back then.”  
“Ohhh yes! You better impress your girl, Miss Woods.”  
“I'll treat you like the Queen you are…”  
“So smooth with your words, we'll have to see if you can back that up…”   
“You’re playing with fire, Miss Griffin.”   
“Oh yeah, am I?” I ask right back at her, laughing at her speechless expression.   
She’s irresistible, and apparently I am too...which is only confirmed by the fact that she doesn’t want to stop kissing me every time we are alone, even stealing kisses and touches when we aren’t!  
“So what are we going to do today?” I ask after our intense make out session which ended with me almost falling off the sofa thanks to Lexa pushing me harder than she meant to when she took back control, or so she claimed...I didn't buy it…  
“How about I take you to some places I’ve found here that you might like and we can get lunch somewhere nice before we have to leave?” Lexa suggests, smiling at me as she sits back from having been leaning over me, her cheeks flushed and lips puffy.   
“Sounds great, let's go!” I agree, jumping up off the sofa to grab a hoodie and some other things. I think I startle Lexa with the sudden movement because she sits there on the sofa unmoving for a couple of seconds.  
“Um Lexa?”  
“Oh yeah...sorry! Let me get changed!” Lexa responds, jumping up and searching inside her messy, unorganised bag for something to wear. I turn around and allow her to slip on some new clothes, suddenly alert when arms wrap around me from behind.  
“Ready to go?” Lexa asks, laughing as I struggle against her arms, trying to stop her from squeezing me.  
“Lexaaaa!!!! I can’t breath!” I cry out from within my giggling, then laugh at her as she looks sheepishly back at me as she releases me. I’m tempted to get revenge by tickling her, but there is only so much time until we have to get to the airport.   
Lexa leads the way downstairs, dragging me by my hand, her other hand unlocking her phone which I presume is to work out where to go.  
As we are exiting the hotel a familiar face runs to catch up with us, shouting after Lexa to get her attention.  
“Lexa!!! Hey! Where are you off to?” They ask and I take in the girl in front of me, wavy blonde hair and I can’t help but notice that she is really pretty.   
“Hey Allie! I’m just taking Clarke out to see some of the sights and then to get some lunch probably.”  
“Oh cool! Mind if I join you?” She asks casually, causing me to squint slightly at her, surprised by her request, but of course, she doesn’t know about us as a couple. I hope…  
“Oh um sorry we were hoping to spend the day together, just us, but I think Alex and Tobin will be up for doing something.” Lexa replies in a friendly manner, smiling at Allie, trying to get across to her that it isn’t anything against her.  
“Oh sure. Sorry for bothering you both.” Allie responds, sounding a little hurt which I hate to be responsible for.  
“Hey Allie?” I call after her as she is turning to walk away after the short exchange.   
“Yes?” She replies, looking back at me with an expression on her face that I struggle to interpret.   
“Do you know when we play you in the league? I would love to hang out sometime, you know, get to know you.”  
“Oh yeah I don’t think for at least a couple of months unfortunately. That would be cool though, thanks.” She responds smiling now, happier knowing that we don’t dislike her we are just hoping to get some alone time.   
“Sweet, see you around!”  
“See you!”   
“Bye Allie.” Lexa adds on quickly while Allie is walking away, she smiles and waves goodbye.  
“You do realise Alex and Tobin are going to kill you for sending her their way.” I joke at her, bumping shoulders as we are walking into the city to Lexa’s planned destinations.   
“I know. That's why I did it…” Lexa smirks evilly and we break out laughing uncontrollably at the hilarious scenario of Talex being blocked off from their alone time in their room by Allie.   
“You evil genius!” I respond in between laughing fits.   
“They deserved it for breaking up our moment last night, especially Alex, urgh I can’t believe she caught me!”  
“We both know who’s fault that was!”  
“You didn’t stop me!”  
“You kept going! You’re so persistent!”   
“Whatever. Anyway I found this park a couple of days ago and it's so beautiful.” Lexa informs me, putting an end to our argument swiftly as we enter through a large gate into what I can only agree with Lexa is a beautiful garden!   
“Wilson Park.” Lexa states as I look around, taking in the view of the little river with kids splashing around in the water and other feeding the ducks and running around having fun. The place is so full of life, it's lovely!

Lexa buys me some bread to feed the ducks while we sit on a bench next to the river, chatting about random things, enjoying the moment.   
“You’re so cute.” Lexa comments as I’m feeding the ducks, who are growing persistent in their need to all be satisfied with the diminishing amount of bread.  
“Well this little one here hasn’t had any and I feel bad for them because the bigger ducks are bullying them and taking the food!” I tell her truthfully about why I’m throwing all the bread towards one duck in particular who fails to snatch up the food every time it falls next to it. Poor little duck.  
“Survival of the fittest…” Lexa dryly comments which upsets me because that can’t be true for ducks!  
“Nooo they are just a baby, this isn’t the Hunger Games Lex! That little one needs love and attention and I’m going to get them their bread so help me!”  
“Suit yourself. You’ve done a good job of that so far.” Lexa jokes, laughing at my duck feeding inability.  
“Urgh go away! You’re not helping!” I protest, throwing a piece of bread at her which narrowly misses her head as she expertly dodges it and of course she continue to laugh at me even more so now.   
“Nice try babe.” Lexa says in between her annoying and completely totally 100% uncalled for laughing.  
Finally after giving up throwing, I walk over to the little duckling and hand feed the bread, making sure to ward off the others. Mission accomplished! Take that bitches!!!  
I walk back to the bench and sit down grinning at my super hard work and success, meanwhile Lexa is shaking her head at my ‘childish’ behaviour. Whatever. I don’t care. The ducks are happy and so am I…  
“You’re such a dork.”  
“Says you…”  
“So what do you want to do now?” I ask after Lexa just laughs at me once more, dammit she’s being so annoying!  
“There is a market over in the main centre if you want to check it out?” Lexa suggests.  
“Sure, I’m getting hungry too.”  
“Ok, we can go get something afterwards.”  
“Cool, thanks.”  
We walk on one of the paths surrounded by trees, between the fields with soccer games on either side of us, which of course we can’t help but have to stop and watch momentary. One of the players on the pitch to our right takes on an amazing dribble past two players and unleashes a powerful shot, unfortunately for them it ricochets up off the bar. The ball bounces up high into the air towards us, Lexa takes a few steps forward off the path to where the ball is landing and cushions it down flawlessly onto the top of her shoe, as if the ball stops dead on her touch. She then flicks it back up, performs an around the world after some kick ups and boots the ball back to the pitch with a sliced volley. Everyone is staring at her in awe of her control and skill, Lexa showing off her girl power to the clueless guys. Never underestimate my badass girlfriend is the morale of this.   
She calmly struts back to me, a smug grin on her face ignoring the reactions of shock from the players on the field who have no clue who this magician is.   
“Show off.” I comment, grinning proudly at my awesome girlfriend.  
“Shush! You love it!” She replies, grinning at me knowing that she is such a show off.  
We continue on our way to the market area, which is a loud, thriving area packed with stalls of people selling various items from handbags to food.  
“Ohhhh Lex can we get some strawberries please?” I ask her, having seen some delicious, fresh fruits being sold at one of the stalls.  
“You can’t pay for them yourself ‘Miss Aussie soccer star’, huh?” Lexa sarcastically replies, bringing back the fame that surrounded me when I first arrived as the so-called Aussie wonderkid.  
“You’re the one taking me out, so you can pay for me, thanks.” I respond, sticking my tongue at her, wanting to get back at her for mocking me by making her pay for me.   
“Fine...ok...I’ll buy you some strawberries. That's the last thing I buy for you in a long time from now on. You understand?”  
“Yes, absolutely!” I grin at her, knowing that there is no way in hell that statement will come true. There is a reason Raven and Octavia say she is whipped…  
We continue looking around at various items on sale, most of which are not that amazing however one or two catch my eye.   
“Oh my God this necklace is beautiful Lexa, I want it!” I demand, at awe with the gold chain necklace featuring a green gemstone which is so reminiscent of Lexa’s beautiful forest green eyes.   
“Manners don’t hurt…” Lexa cheekily responds at my sudden eagerness and passion to buy the beautiful jewelry   
“Please?!?” I whine, must to Lexa’s displeasure who probably wished she never asked me to be polite.   
“Clarke baby I’m not made of money right now. I’m sorry.” Lexa responds, sad at the fact that she would love to buy it I can draw from the look in her eyes   
“It’s ok, I’m not going to demand you buy me everything that I like!” I joke, trying to make Lexa smile after her sad tone in rejecting my request.   
We move on from the jewelry stand to look elsewhere but I struggle to get the thought of that necklace out of my head. It’s perfect. I would love to wear it every day and be able to look at it to be reminded of my incredible, beautiful and amazing girlfriend.  
“Oh um I just saw a friend of mine who I haven’t seen in a while. Would you mind if I quickly catch them for a few minutes while you are looking around?” Lexa suddenly asks, surprising me at the request and confusing me, but I guess I don’t mind looking around some more.   
“Sure, ok. But don’t be too long please, I would like some lunch please.” I tell her, smiling at her as she hurries off back towards where we came from.   
A few more items here and there catch my attention but nothing enough to take my mind off that damn necklace. A tapping on my shoulder brings my attention back to my Lexa, who has finished whatever it was she disappeared for.   
“Hey muffin! Ready to get some lunch?” I ask, laughing at her reaction to my pet name for her, which seemed to just rolled off my tongue before I even thought about it. Lucky Lexa doesn't seem to mind much, judging by the little grin that escapes from her. She's cute. A cute little muffin...My cute little muffin…

Lexa leads the two of us to a cute little sandwich bar a few blocks away, according to her it's the best she has ever been to, so I guess that's good because I’m super hungry for some reason. I order a sandwich with chicken, bacon, salad and ranch sauce. It turns out to be a thing of beauty, so delicious as Lexa promised!  
“So what did Jitka actually tell you in that meeting?” Lexa asks, bringing up the subject I had been trying to avoid. I still can’t decide. Well I have decided, but I’m having so many thoughts over the matter that it seems to be impossible for one option to be more viable than the other. Maybe Lexa can help me to decide? I just want to make the right decision for me, not from the influence of anyone else…  
“Hey are you still there Clarke?” Lexa interrupts my thoughts, bringing me back to face the decision of whether or not to tell Lexa about my decision.   
“Oh um yes, she wanted to talk to me because I have an important decision to make in the coming months…”  
“Yes…” Lexa encourages me, impatient in wanting to find out what I have to say.  
“Patience darling.” I cheekily reply, grinning at her clear lack of self control as she is practically bouncing up and down in her chair in anticipation, drawing a few odd looks from some of the other customers eating their food.   
“Due to my father being an American citizen before he moved to Australia I have a valid enough case to play for the US women's national team!” I exclaim, bringing out a beaming smile from lexa who practically jumps across the table in order to hug me tightly, almost taking all of the breath from my lungs.  
“Babe! BABE!”  
“Yes Clarke?” Lexa responds sweetly.  
“I can’t breathe!” I tell her, laughing as the suddenly pulls away looking sheepishly at her empty plate.   
“Well actually there is more to it than that…” I start, only to be interrupted by Lexa once more with her impatience…  
“How could there possibly be more to it? Baby we can play on the national team together! The two of us pulling on the shirt and playing together for this country. What could be better?!?!” I can immediately see what Lexa has set her heart on. The two of us striving together to conquer the world, or something dramatic like that at least!  
“Lex honey, please just hear me out.” I start with a serious tone, alerting Lexa that there is more to it than that. “Lex, I can choose to play for Australia too. It is my home, where I was born and where I grew up. I started soccer there and haven’t looked back since, but I know for sure that Australia is where my dream started. I proved that it is possible to dream big because dreams do happen!” I pause for breath and meet Lexa’s eyes with mine, her forest greens meeting my ocean blue orbs for a long moment.   
“I...I can’t choose Lex, I really can’t. It’s an impossible decision!”  
“I thought…”  
“You thought what Lex?”  
“I thought you wanted a future with me? I thought you wanted to be by my side, that we would do everything together from now on. I thought that maybe...maybe you loved me…” Lexa lets out a couple of tears, suddenly showing emotion that I never expected to see, especially so suddenly almost out of nowhere.  
“Lexa of course I want a future with you, silly! You’re my girlfriend whom I am falling in love with more and more every minute of every day! Lexa please understand me, that this is such a tough decision that I must make, but whatever I choose, it doesn’t mean I hate you suddenly or something like that!”  
“But....”  
“No buts...Lexa you’re my whole world, I don’t want to hurt you with this decision but please accept that right now my heart is set on playing for my homeland because it feels like the right decision.”  
“No! Clarke! Please, we would be amazing together though!”  
“We always will be, when we are playing here together for our team. And hey, imagine the epic battles between us for nationals!! It would be awesome!”  
“Ok...I will let you decide this. But please take my request into consideration?” Lexa almost pleads, her eyes locked onto mine once more, pouring out her heart of emotions at hearing the decision I have to make that will surely affect our future so much.   
“You think I haven’t already? I know how important this is for us! You were my first thought when I was presented with this decision. But please understand me Lex, please!”  
Her gaze has shifted down to staring at her lap, unmoving, not wanting to look to meet my eyes. Instead of continuing I stop and watch her for a moment, appreciating her beauty even when she appears sad she is still an angel, she always will be. I reach out and softly take her chin with my fingers, guiding her head upwards, noticing the tears creeping from the corners of her eyes. It breaks my heart to see her like this, to know that the decision I am making means so much to her. I slowly caress her jaw, pulling her slightly towards me and leaning in to capture her lips with mine, savouring the taste of her lips while pouring out all of my emotions into the feeling. She pulls away and looks down at her fidgeting fingers before growing the confidence to say what she is thinking.  
“I trust you Clarke. I really do. If this is what you want then I will support you no matter what. Yes, I have my own preference, but this is about you and there is nothing more important to me in this world…” Lexa states, melting my heart with her cuteness and her words of support towards me. “Ok maybe soccer. Then you.” She finishes, giggling at my pretend reaction of shock at her joke, I lightly punch her shoulder in retaliation and finish of what is left of my sandwich.   
****  
“Why won’t you tell me what is going on?” Lexa asks, for what feels like the billionth time on the plane journey back to Cali.   
“I already told you. It’s going to be amazing, you’ll just have to wait and see.” I tell her, the frustration in my voice evvident now, wanting to hear the end of her insistent questioning. I should never have told her to be prepared for something Octavia and Raven planned while everyone was away on the national team camp.   
“Yes but why can’t you tell me?” Lexa asks again, pushing the limits of my patience which is starting to boil over now.   
Instead of getting annoyed I count to 10 to calm myself down and shift across in my seat to shuffle closer to my girlfriend, my secret girlfriend whom I adore. When she isn’t being all stubborn and commander mode. I lean over and rest my head on her shoulder, nuzzling my face into her neck, enjoying the feeling of comfort resting against her. I can smell her shampoo, the citrus smell overwhelming my senses, a few loose strands of hair tickling my face. No one else is watching, we are just best friends afterall, to the rest of the world.   
I feel at home when I’m by her side, I feel like nothing else matters in the world, only the two of us living in the moment...  
“Clarke? Babe? Time to wake up?” The soft voice of Lexa awakens me from my sleep as I feel her hand slowly caressing my hair. I sit up and rub the sleep from my eyes feeling a little unaware and uncoordinated. I had still been resting against her however my position had changed somewhat while I had been sleeping, much to the amusement of Lexa...  
“Shit I was supposed to send a message to Raven!” I suddenly realise, awake and alert, panicking that our plan might be ruined because I fell asleep. FUCK! I search around for my phone and find it in my left pocket, under the scrutinising view of Lexa. I have 4 missed messages from Raven asking where I am and what is going on…  
*Shit sorry I fell asleep! We have just arrived. Go girl!* I send to her and steal a glance over at the completely unsuspecting Tobin a few rows along from us, she seems occupied in an animated conversation with Alex with both of them laughing enthusiastically at something.   
“When are you going to tell me what is going on???” Lexa asks, restarting the bugging that had been seriously getting on my nerves before I fell asleep.   
“Patience girl! You’ll find out soon enough.” I grin and she rolls her eyes.  
“Urgh fine...Let’s go”Lexa says as everyone starts moving to finally get off the plane. Grabbing her bag from the overhead locker she walks towards the exit of the plane with me following slightly behind.   
“Sleep well?” Alex jokes as she bumps into me at baggage collection as we wait for what feels like hours for our bags to arrive. She gives me a knowing smirk that tells me she knows why I slept well. Wasn’t anything to do with my head falling from Lexa’s shoulder to rest against her breasts for the majority of the flight, the soft flesh providing the perfect pillow for my head.   
“Perfectly thanks.” I reply, blushing bright red in response to the reminder of how I slept. This might be an awkward one to explain if anyone was to ask about it…  
“I’m sure you’re looking forward to getting back to your room together?” Alex pushes further, causing me to blush even more, something I didn’t know was possible at this point.  
“Well I’m sure the same can be said for you…” I joke back at her, now it's my turn to smirk as she also becomes embarrassed by the suggestion.   
“Whatever blondie…” Alex mutters as she moves back to rejoin Tobin in waiting.

*We’re leaving the airport. There in 20.”  
*Almost ready.*  
*We’re arriving on campus now.*  
*Ok. Do your job, ready for you.*

I communicate with Raven on my phone to initiate the plan, exchanging update messages on the progress in order for things to run as smoothly as possible. Everything has to work perfectly if this prank is to be pulled off. I feel sorry for Tobin, but as long as she takes it as a joke it’ll be fine. I’m just worried a little bit because Anya has been super quiet but keeps taking looks over to Tobin with a rather evil grin on her face, almost mocking the oblivious girl.   
We arrive and I suggest grabbing coffee from the shop nearby on campus, knowing that everyone will agree with me after the journey back, which allows for Anya to slip away unnoticed towards the accomodation block of Alex and Tobin. Alex takes orders for everyone, frowning when I mention that Anya had rushed back to go to the bathroom, but no one mentions it and we chill out for a bit on the sofas, chatting about the camp and the two victories for the team. Eventually we leave and split off going separate ways back to our dorms, saying goodbyes and promising to meet up tomorrow. After waiting for Alex and Tobin to walk away, Lexa and I turn back to follow them so that we can witness this prank that Anya and Raven have set up. We reach their floor just in time to hear two explosion sounds and a massive scream from Tobin and sprint over to their room to see the damage. Tobin is standing there covered in confetti and glitter, she is completely rooted and shocked while Anya and Raven are laughing uncontrollably at the scene.   
“HA GOT YOU!!!” Anya shouts at Tobin, performing a weird sort of victory dance in front of the poor girl.   
“I hate you…” Tobin glares up at her, standing and facing her. Raven lets out an “oooooo” sound, almost trying to egg Tobin on into doing something.  
Tobin however has other ideas and grins at Anya, pulling her into a hug before she can react to sudden movement. Anya tries to pull away but it's too late, now she also is covered in glitter and confetti on her whole front and its Tobin’s turn to laugh.  
“Call it even?” Tobin asks, winking at her.  
Anya simply nods, grinning at Tobin with what might be respect for taking the prank so well.   
“Fine, but I think I still win.” Anya says before turning to leave with Raven, the two of them whispering to each other as they look back at Tobin, smirking at her.   
Lexa and I offer to help Alex and Tobin tidy up the extreme mess that has been left behind by the two prankstars, which they gratefully thank us for. Although Lexa and I both avoid a thank you hug from Tobin as she laughs at us when we swiftly back away from her.   
“Well that happened…” I state, as I’m walking back with Lexa, having helped clean as much of the room to the best that we could. We’re walking hand in hand, enjoying the cool evening and Lexa pulls me against her when we arrive at the door of our block. Suddenly her lips are on mine, kissing me slowly with no sense of haste, all I can feel from the kiss is love.  
Lexa pulls away, her hands caressing my cheeks, looking at me as I open my eyes to meet her beautiful forest green eyes.  
“Where did that come from?” I ask in an almost whisper, my voice slightly raspy.  
“I…I missed you on camp. I missed you so much Clarke.”  
“I missed you too Lexa...I…” My words are cut off by Lexa’s finger, shushing me in a cute but irritating way because I have so much to say to her.   
“I realised by not having you there just how much you mean to me, even after such a short amount of time and I know it's crazy. I hoped it would be a more romantic way but I can’t wait any longer. I...I love you Clarke…” Lexa finally stutters out, her eyes moving down to look at her feet, her hands fidgeting, playing with my hair. I can’t believe what she just said. I have been wanting to say the same for so long but it has never seemed like the right moment. I feel Lexa pull away and look up, suddenly alert and aware to the fact that I haven’t said anything yet.  
“Clarke…” Lexa lets out quietly, doubt and worry both evident in her voice.   
I grab the back of her head and crash our lips together, feeling our teeth clash with the force but I don’t care, I need her to know just how much she really means to me.   
Finally after what feels like forever, we break apart, our breathing ragged and uncontrollable.  
“I love you too Lexa…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts on this chapter???  
> Theories of what might happen from here???  
> Thanks for reading <3  
> Feel free to follow my Instagram: tobin17nutmegs :)


	18. UPDATE

Hi everyone.

I would love to be able to tell you positive news, that I will be uploading a chapter soon, but unfortunately this is not the case.

I've come to the decision that **I will not be continuing this story** , at least for the foreseeable future, I'm really sorry to have to say that!

There are a number of reasons:

  1. I'm going to be so busy at university this term and can't see any time being left aside for such a big work that this is. 
  2. I'm not really a Talex shipper anymore - Alex is happily married with Serv (and they're so cute) and I would much rather be writing Preath because its something that is much closer to my heart. I hope you all understand me :)
  3. I didn't really plan this story and have come to regret that greatly, as it makes chapter transitions really difficult for me to work out, and I really don't have much of a goal with where I want this story to go. As well as many details not aligning with what I have written previously. 



So, what happens now?

I am hopefully going to write a **new, much simpler story** , which I will be much more interested and engaged in. It will have much shorter chapters so hopefully it can fit into my life much easier! I am thinking of doing an 'original character' / Jessie Fleming or Mallory Pugh fic. not decided about the pairing though yet! Or a Preath fic!

If you have anything you want to say to me/any advice or suggestions I am more than open to those. Feel free to dm my Instagram: **tobin17nutmegs**

So thatch all I have to say, once again **thank you so much** for all the support for this story! So much love for each and every one of you who left kudos or left comments!  <3

Bye for now :) 


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